The Choice is Yours

There is a saying that seems to resonate with me, it goes "I've learned that I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings. Even if I respect theirs. Being a good person, doesn't guarantee that others will be good people too. You only have control over yourself on how you choose to be as a person. And for the others you can only choose to accept them or walk away."

It resonates with me for several reasons that I will admit I am even still in the process of learning and understanding and the choice is always with you. No one is responsible for your happiness, only you can choose to be happy and why? Because you cannot control how others feel or act, you only have control over yourself. And if you are unhappy then regardless of what someone else is doing, you will remain unhappy, nothing will satisfy you until you change how you feel and think.
And it is funny, because people will look from the outside and make assumptions that "he is not happy in his relationship" or "she is unhappy with life," but unless you have the ability to somehow transform yourself into a fly and perch on the wall of that person's house to watch what is going on, you don't know. And if you have that ability, please do share.

Recently that was something that was said to my husband and I could get all bent out of shape about it, but what is the point, especially when that person doesn't know, but I know. I know who is happy and who is not.
Can life sometimes be hard, be difficult, be boring, yes, of course it can. Yet for all those times there are the opposite moments when life is beautiful, when it is filled with laughter, kindness and those moments you cherish and hold close to your heart. And only we can choose what we want to hold on to.

It is easy to look at someone else and criticize how they act and compare them to someone else, that is the easy part, the hard part is recognizing why we do it? Is it because we seek approval from others? I am (or was) a people pleaser, I did not like saying no and I don't like discord, so often times I would do or say things that I may not agree with, but was doing so in order to keep the peace. It is a hard lesson to learn, but I have learned that the only approval I need is from myself and I've stopped holding back.
We waste so much time believing that if they like you then you are worthy and if they don’t like you then something must be wrong with you and so we try harder to earn their validation, to get their attention by trying to conform, to be something other than yourself and at some point, you either break in doing so or you wake up and realize that it is not about you and the only approval you need comes from within.

The life I am living is based on the thoughts and decisions that I have made and in sharing my life not only with my husband, but with my children as well, any thought or decision I make has the ability to affect those I share my life with. If any of them are unhappy, then I will know it, just as much as they will know if I am unhappy. 

And over the last five months, I've been working on letting go because the past is long gone and I can either hold on to anger or resentment and forever feel trapped or let it go and choose to accept a person or walk away from them.  Something as simple as the idea of forgiveness is not so simple, but rather difficult to do and keeps us a stuck in a place, blocking us from moving forward. We can continue to blame everyone and everything around us for everything that is lacking or we can stop, and actually see all the amazingly wonderful things that happen and people in our life that do care instead of focusing on the ones that don't. Happiness is a choice and until we stop complaining about what was done, said, or has happened then on some level we won't really be happy and that is something that has been difficult for me to even understand because it is hard, you want someone to like you, to get to know you, but it is way more easier to fight with someone, then to let it go. I see that now, we only have this life and I am going to enjoy it, even if that means accepting some people in my life and walking away from others.

A new year will be upon us before we even know it and I am exhausted from the bickering, fighting, and arguing. I will accept you for you, but I expect the same courtesy. 
It makes me think of this quote from the movie, Grown Ups "In life, the first act is always exciting, but it is the second act - that is where the depth comes in." I don't need someone to like me, I don't need someone's approval....I did, but where did that get me except for feeling angry. This is my life and I'm going to live my life in joy, love, and peace, not get lost in the darkness.  



Give yourself entirely to those around you. Be generous with your blessings. A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~Steve Maraboli

The Flu, a blizzard, and Christmas....

So, our household (except for the husband) all got sick. It first started with my little man, he came down with strep throat, then three days later my sweet pea came down with influenza a, and by the weekend it hit me. I think I was in bed for three days and although I am better, I still have a horrible cough. We typically get flu shots after Christmas, but the flu seemed to hit early this year, but it is over and I'm better, I only hope that next year I will be ready for it. We also got hit with a blizzard, over night 11 inches of the powdery white stuff was dumped and so came the bitterly cold. I'm sure I am not alone when I saw I love the snow and hate it too! I love it when the snow is first falling and covering the landscape, it is a beautiful scene, but when it is done, I'm ready for it to be gone.

One down side to being sick, I didn't get much baking in this Christmas due to the kiddies and myself being sick, we did make some caramels and peanut butter balls, but I kind of missed out on my annual baking session. Our neighbor delivered a big basket of cookies and goodies galore, so that helped, but not calorie-wise since the goodies were so yummy. She made hot coco cupcakes that were delicious.



So, before I knew it December was nearly gone and Christmas was upon us. We definitely kept things low key, we hit the in-laws on Christmas Eve, which was a nice evening, though we left a bit early because we had to get the kids in bed so we could prepare for Santa's arrival. The kids got up at 5:01 am and eagerly ran into our room excited to see what Father Christmas had left for them. We then spent the rest of the day playing with the kids, getting dinner ready, then enjoyed a visit from my father-in-law and his wife, and ended the day with Christmas dessert and tea at my parents house. It was definitely a nice Christmas.

The kids received lots of Lego's and they each got a big Lego set from Santa - it is fun to sit down and put these tiny little blocks together and end up with a huge house or whatever it is we are building. What I like is that it is something I don't mind helping the kids do and the hubs will sit with our little man and just build one set after another and that is pretty much how we spent Christmas day. I helped my sweet pea build her Lego Friends house and the hubs helped my little man build Star Wars Jabba the Hut's Palace, these tiny things keep the kids entertained for hours.The only downside to having a house full of Lego's is stepping on one, seriously that is some pain. I've told the kiddies that from now on any piece I find on the floor is going directly to the rubbish bin because I don't think my feet can handle any more Lego injuries.

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful." - Norman Vincent Peale 

My heart is aching....

Today, we learned of the horrible tragedy that unfolded at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut. My sweetpea was home from school because she has the flu, but my little man was at school and it took every inch of me not to go down and pull him out, not because I felt he was unsafe, but because my heart broke and I just wanted my children close to me.
I can not fathom what goes through a person's mind, what breaks inside them that they find it necessary to commit such violent acts against innocent people, especially children and then instead of explaining themselves, they take the cowardly way out by shooting themselves because on some level they know what they have done is horrible and can't face the consequences. It is nothing but heartbreaking.
And I'm not going to say I understand what these families are going through or try to imagine the pain, because I can't, I don't understand, and when I do I break down. What bothers me most is within hours of these types of tragedies the political pundits and media outlets are quick to turn the focus of these events to gun control and banning guns, yet communities that are involved in these tragedies are still comprehending what the f*** just happened and are left picking up the shattered pieces while they are just  beginning to grieve.
I don't feel strongly one way or the other towards the gun control issues, what I wonder about is the underlying cause. And no, Mr. Huckabee these crimes don't happen because the lack of religion in school and it was shameful to say just hours after what happened.
We as a collective society can point fingers all day as to what we think happened and why, but we don't know why.
As a society, we can remove the guns, but someone who has broke mentally in a way like this man did and others in the past, that is not going to stop them from harming others. The gun is the tool  used to express their hate, anger and other troubling emotions, remove it and they will find another tool unfortunately.
Do people honestly feel banning guns will prevent these tragedies? Or what if we actually provided the mental health these people really need besides drugging them up on psychiatric drugs where side effects are aggression, mania, hallucinations, etc....It is a vicious cycle and I'm sorry for all involved. This is an interesting article....what do you think?

I would like to start a project. My goal is to gather fabric and have the kids write messages of hope, encouragement, condolence's of the pieces and then string them all together like a prayer flag and send to the school. I'm sorry to the children and adults who died, the children who witnessed this tragedy and the community that will be picking up these pieces. Kia Kaha (stay strong).

"Our country is grieving. Each child who has been slaughtered belongs to each of us and each slain adult is a member of our family. It is impossible to explain the horror to ourselves and to our survivors. We need to hold each other’s hands and look into each other’s eyes and say, “I am sorry.”" - Maya Angelou 

Quick Holiday Project

So, we still have plenty of cabinet door and drawer faces that we need to upcycle or do something with, so I painted one of the drawer faces a reddish color and then grabbed some of the cheap ornaments glued them on some cloths pins and now have a great holiday photo board.
The paint, we had on hand, and I actually purchased the ornaments after Christmas last year, so the total cost for this project was under $1 and now I have a nice holiday wall hanging.

 The below image is just after painting the drawer face red

This is what it looks like after gluing the ornaments on