It's been a while since my last post, but lots of changes are taking place. We listed our house and were overwhelmed with showings and after the the first day we had an offer, which we accepted. So, we have been decluttering and getting things sorted. We also purchased a lot and will hopefully start the building process in the next few months. We are going to move into a rental house till our house is built. It is exciting and also overwhelming. As I have been packing I've been trying to declutter, but it is so much harder than I anticipated because of the emotional tag we put on everything. I feel like I have done good thus far though - I had four totes of Christmas decor and I was able to get it into two totes and we had three Halloween decor totes and I got it down to one.
I found my old yearbooks, notes, cards, lots of the kids baby things and old toys and as I sort through things and are reminded of different moments in my life, it is bittersweet. It's hard to comprehend how quickly time passes and what has transpired through those years. I feel I am ready to leave this house as much as I love it and have so many wonderful memories - I think I will miss the location the most and the feeling of community that we have here. We won't have that in the new place we are renting and it will be a while before we have that in our new house.
As exciting as it has been with purchasing the lot and selling our house, the past few months have also been difficult. I find myself at a crossroads right now, unsure of which path to take and unsure of where it will lead and it is a bit unnerving. I question what my purpose is in life because all I want to do is somehow help people, but I'm unsure how to do it. I see how passionate the hubs is with water quality and trying to clean up our waterways and educate people on the issue and I don't have that passion towards one specific thing. My grand ideas are often unrealistic and sometimes I am just unsure where I fit, where is my place? I want to do so much, but I don't know how to start. Sometimes I feel I need to disconnect from the world for a bit in order to find myself again, but I don't have time for that. I don't have time for anything and it's frustrating. I keep telling myself that once we are in the rental, I can slow down a bit and the one thing I am most looking forward too is we are heading to New Zealand in the winter, which will be there summer. It will be the first time we are taking our kids and I can't wait to show them where some of my most earliest memories came from and introducing them to family they have only heard about. I hope the kids love it and enjoy it as much as they think they will, they are pretty excited.
"These are the days that must happen to you." - Walt Whitman
