It's that time - a chance to start fresh, a new chapter awaiting to begin. A new year brings new challenges, new changes, new experiences, new memories. So much yet to start and then so many things to finish as well.
Last year I was looking forward to transitions into a healthier living as well as a more positive state of mind and recapped the year as a transformation and it really was. I'm definitely proud of the progress we made and continue to make. I've let go of expectations for myself and for others and enjoying each moment as it comes. If I had to recap 2014 for me in one word, it would be "Joy."
I've had wonderful experiences this year, tons of laughter, new friendships, embracing new things, overcoming challenges, and accepting things as they come. I'm blessed with a wonderful job and lots of volunteer opportunities and I look forward to a new year and what it may bring to our family.
We briefly talked about goals we may want to accomplish in 2015 - my sweet pea would like to run more 5K's, the hubs wants to run a full marathon, my little man wants to save his money to get the Lego Death Star, and as a family we are saving to make a trip to Aotearoa. I can't wait to take my children there and we hope to spend time in both the North and South Island. I want to go to Rawene, where my grandfather is from as well as visit family. My heart aches for New Zealand at times and so I think bringing the kids and letting them explore will be the deciding factor as to whether or not we actually take the big step and relocate. We've talked about it for years, but continue to stop because it is so far away from everything we know. The kids also want to try to eat a vegetarian diet for 30 days, which I don't think will be that hard, as we currently eat a 80% vegetable/plant based diet and 20% meat diet, but I could be wrong. We'll see how it goes.
As for me, I want to continue to work on improving myself in multiple ways through mind, body, and spirit. I also want to travel more. My soul yearns for something, but I've yet to figure out what, why, or the direction I need to go, but I feel like I'm somewhat heading in the right direction. I think part of that yearning is that I want to see more of the world. If we didn't have to work, I would drop it all and just take the kids to travel the world because I'm sure they would learn so much in those experiences than any school could provide. I sometimes hold on to that thought - for me I work from home and could possibly continue to work remotely, but I don't think the hubs could pull that off, but it doesn't mean I can't stop dreaming of doing so.
I definitely want to start working on decluttering my life and will will start to let go of some of the volunteering that I do, I will still help out in various ways, but I wrote down a list of extra things I do besides work and the family and I need to let some things go and focus my attention on what matters most instead of trying to do a little bit of everything.
I have let a lot of things that I enjoy go because I simply don't have time to squeeze it in and so I need to refocus and continue to make time for those activities that I enjoy. I think what I struggle with the most is there are so many things close to my heart and I want to do it all and help, but it ends up stretching me thin and I end up feeling like I'm not helping at all whereas if I focus on what I really want to do to help, then I can accomplish more in that regard.
Whatever your goals or wishes are for the new year - I wish you light, love, and happiness!
"Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
Whispering 'it will be happier'...”
- Alfred Tennyson
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Good Tidings to You
It is Christmas Eve and although I worked for about half of the day, the kids and I enjoyed the day. We talked about the Christmas Story, which lead to a discussion about different religions and how similar and different each religion is. The kids asked if we practice a specific religion and I said no, but that I think it is important that they know about different religions because at some point in their life one or none may speak to them. I told them the important thing is that we do the right thing and we treat people with kindness even if someone doesn't deserve our kindness. We shared memories of times past, sang Christmas songs, danced a bit, and then invited nana over for a cup of tea and cookies.
As Christmas is always a time of reflection for me, I feel so blessed and I'm thankful everyday for what I have and the people around me.
We did our advent Random Acts of Kindness and the last one was take treats to the fire/police station, so we did that and the kids asked if we can do this every year. I said of course, because I'm never going to tell them no when it comes to giving and doing things for others.
I got an early present...the hubs surprised me with a whole new home office, which I desperately needed. My desk was falling apart, but I kept making excuses about purchasing a new one. I said maybe one more year and not to mention that half of the space was the kids playroom, so there were toys everywhere. The kids and hubby spent the day painting and putting together a new office, my dad even pitched in and helped carry it in. When they finally showed me I was stunned and overwhelmed with emotion. I truly have an amazing family.
Christmas is always a time of bonding and I struggle with how to help those who are struggling during this time regardless if it is personal issues, financial, or whatever the reason. The hubs and I were talking about how good it feels to give and I wish I had the means to truly impact people's lives in a positive way. I try to do what I can, but I always feel it is not enough.
I started to get a bit emotional, not in a bad way, but in a "your heart is so full and feels like it will burst" kind of way and called my parents to tell them how much I love them. I know there are people who struggle in some sort of way, I know that there is disharmony in the world, I know we are destroying this earth, I know we treat some people in unkind ways and yet I try to look for all the positives. I try to show my children that life is beautiful, that life is kind, and that life is short...tomorrow is not promised. So love often and love hard and be forgiving!
I'm not sure how you will spend your holiday, but I wish you a wonderful year, good health and all the blessings you desire!!!!
"Sit with someone special in a room lit only by Christmas tree lights and remember that your blessings outnumber your lights." - Unknown
As Christmas is always a time of reflection for me, I feel so blessed and I'm thankful everyday for what I have and the people around me.
We did our advent Random Acts of Kindness and the last one was take treats to the fire/police station, so we did that and the kids asked if we can do this every year. I said of course, because I'm never going to tell them no when it comes to giving and doing things for others.
I got an early present...the hubs surprised me with a whole new home office, which I desperately needed. My desk was falling apart, but I kept making excuses about purchasing a new one. I said maybe one more year and not to mention that half of the space was the kids playroom, so there were toys everywhere. The kids and hubby spent the day painting and putting together a new office, my dad even pitched in and helped carry it in. When they finally showed me I was stunned and overwhelmed with emotion. I truly have an amazing family.
Christmas is always a time of bonding and I struggle with how to help those who are struggling during this time regardless if it is personal issues, financial, or whatever the reason. The hubs and I were talking about how good it feels to give and I wish I had the means to truly impact people's lives in a positive way. I try to do what I can, but I always feel it is not enough.
I started to get a bit emotional, not in a bad way, but in a "your heart is so full and feels like it will burst" kind of way and called my parents to tell them how much I love them. I know there are people who struggle in some sort of way, I know that there is disharmony in the world, I know we are destroying this earth, I know we treat some people in unkind ways and yet I try to look for all the positives. I try to show my children that life is beautiful, that life is kind, and that life is short...tomorrow is not promised. So love often and love hard and be forgiving!
I'm not sure how you will spend your holiday, but I wish you a wonderful year, good health and all the blessings you desire!!!!
"Sit with someone special in a room lit only by Christmas tree lights and remember that your blessings outnumber your lights." - Unknown
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Enjoying our Random Acts
So everyday the kids have been pulling a random act out of the jar and we complete that for the day. I think the one the kids have enjoyed the most thus far was the candy cane bomb. We got some candy canes and passed them out. Today was sing a christmas song to someone. We also picked up some gifts for the Boys and Girls club - one of the restaurants had cards with a child's name and gift request and we took four. The kids were shocked to see what some of these kids were asking - some of the requests included pajamas, t-shirts, hair accessories, action figures, and a skate board. I think the kids realized how lucky they are. The kids shopping for others and we dropped the gifts back off at the restaurant tonight.
The kids school is also collecting items for the Children and Family Services of Iowa - so we've been collecting items for that and will be dropping those off on Friday.
I'm glad to see the kids really getting into the spirit of giving, the kids said, "it felt so good to give."
“Ask your children two questions this Christmas. First: What do you want to give to others for Christmas? Second: What do you want for Christmas? The first fosters generosity of heart and an outward focus. The second can breed selfishness if not tempered by the first.”
~ Author Unknown
The kids school is also collecting items for the Children and Family Services of Iowa - so we've been collecting items for that and will be dropping those off on Friday.
I'm glad to see the kids really getting into the spirit of giving, the kids said, "it felt so good to give."
“Ask your children two questions this Christmas. First: What do you want to give to others for Christmas? Second: What do you want for Christmas? The first fosters generosity of heart and an outward focus. The second can breed selfishness if not tempered by the first.”
~ Author Unknown
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Spreading Holiday Joy
I try to think of different ways for the family to get involved in the Christmas spirit, so this year I made a Random Acts of Kindness Jar and then put various different "acts of kindness" in the jar (one for every day of the month). So each day, the kids will pull one act, which then the family has to do on that day.
We haven't started just yet, so tomorrow will be our first day, but the kids are excited to begin their Christmas Kindness countdown.
"Joy is a decision, a really brave one, about how you are going to respond to life." Wess Stafford
We haven't started just yet, so tomorrow will be our first day, but the kids are excited to begin their Christmas Kindness countdown.
"Joy is a decision, a really brave one, about how you are going to respond to life." Wess Stafford
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| Our Christmas Kindness Jar |
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| Our random acts |
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Thankful Thoughts
Thanksgiving is definitely a time to be reflective for what you have and indeed I am thankful everyday for what I have and who I am.
We took some food and pies down to the Fire/Police station in our city to say thanks for all they do. It was a small token of our appreciation, I don't put my life on the line for my job and sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the negativity that we forget that at the end of the day, we are all trying.
We then left and headed down to Honey Creek where we have been spending our thanksgivings for the last several years, this will be our fourth. It is a great time, the kids get to swim and the food is always good. This year we stayed in one of their cabins, which was nice. I've mentioned in my previous blogs that I would like a tiny home and while we were in the cabin, it was nice to hear from the kids and hubby that the cabin was plenty of room. The hub then measured it and we figured it was 875 sq ft, now this is not by any means considered "tiny," but for a family of four, there is no way we could move into one of those tiny homes where it is no more than 200 sq ft. Yet for me, hoping to downsize, I feel like it was a success to hear those words. We enjoyed our stay, the kids did snow angels in the freshly covered ground in their swimsuits and then came running into the cabin filled with laughter.
I have much to be thankful for - in the past two months some friends have lost loved ones - sisters, life partners, and it makes you appreciate even more how precious life is. I have my health, my children, my husband, and my family and friends. I'm tremendously grateful for all the blessings and experiences in my life that help shape me into the person I am.
Over the last few months, I've been reading several books, one of which is titled "The Joy of Living," and so far it has been a book that resonates with my heart and one that I have been trying to implement into my daily living. There have been a few passages that have had some type of impact for me, the first was "that there is only one possible motive behind someone's behavior: the desire to feel safe or happy. And if people say or do something hurtful, it is because they don't feel safe or happy."
Sometimes it is so hard for us to remember such a simple truth, but it is something I have been trying to remind myself when I find myself questioning certain behaviors and something I had to recently explain to my kids when their feelings were hurt by someone, having to explain that even though something horrible was said, they can't take it personally and they have to realize that something within that person brings them unhappiness (whether it is realized or not). I struggle with trying to remember this when they come to us and share their feelings because my initial feeling is anger, but then I try to focus on the bigger picture and see it for what it is, but trying to explain this can also be a challenge. So, I allow my kids to feel their emotion, but remind them that they have to be the rainbow in someone else's cloud, which Maya Angelou said at her speech at Drake University. When I asked my wee man if he said anything back, he said, "it was hard because I was so shocked and all I wanted to do was yell what is wrong with you and hit him, but I said nothing." And I told him he handled it perfectly. I have great kids and I can only hope that they grow into kind and generous individuals.
The other passage was.."is simply remember that the universe is filled with an infinite number of beings and to think, Just as I want happiness, all beings want happiness. Just as I wish to avoid suffering, all beings wish to avoid suffering. I am just one person, while the number of other beings is infinite. The well-being of this infinite number is more important than that of one." which I felt was appropriate to share on a day where we are reflective. I have an abundance of love that surrounds me and sometimes I feel how did I ever get so lucky when there are so many others that are more deserving or in need.
So, however you spend this day I hope it is joyful and full of many blessings!
“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust
We took some food and pies down to the Fire/Police station in our city to say thanks for all they do. It was a small token of our appreciation, I don't put my life on the line for my job and sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the negativity that we forget that at the end of the day, we are all trying.
We then left and headed down to Honey Creek where we have been spending our thanksgivings for the last several years, this will be our fourth. It is a great time, the kids get to swim and the food is always good. This year we stayed in one of their cabins, which was nice. I've mentioned in my previous blogs that I would like a tiny home and while we were in the cabin, it was nice to hear from the kids and hubby that the cabin was plenty of room. The hub then measured it and we figured it was 875 sq ft, now this is not by any means considered "tiny," but for a family of four, there is no way we could move into one of those tiny homes where it is no more than 200 sq ft. Yet for me, hoping to downsize, I feel like it was a success to hear those words. We enjoyed our stay, the kids did snow angels in the freshly covered ground in their swimsuits and then came running into the cabin filled with laughter.
I have much to be thankful for - in the past two months some friends have lost loved ones - sisters, life partners, and it makes you appreciate even more how precious life is. I have my health, my children, my husband, and my family and friends. I'm tremendously grateful for all the blessings and experiences in my life that help shape me into the person I am.
Over the last few months, I've been reading several books, one of which is titled "The Joy of Living," and so far it has been a book that resonates with my heart and one that I have been trying to implement into my daily living. There have been a few passages that have had some type of impact for me, the first was "that there is only one possible motive behind someone's behavior: the desire to feel safe or happy. And if people say or do something hurtful, it is because they don't feel safe or happy."
Sometimes it is so hard for us to remember such a simple truth, but it is something I have been trying to remind myself when I find myself questioning certain behaviors and something I had to recently explain to my kids when their feelings were hurt by someone, having to explain that even though something horrible was said, they can't take it personally and they have to realize that something within that person brings them unhappiness (whether it is realized or not). I struggle with trying to remember this when they come to us and share their feelings because my initial feeling is anger, but then I try to focus on the bigger picture and see it for what it is, but trying to explain this can also be a challenge. So, I allow my kids to feel their emotion, but remind them that they have to be the rainbow in someone else's cloud, which Maya Angelou said at her speech at Drake University. When I asked my wee man if he said anything back, he said, "it was hard because I was so shocked and all I wanted to do was yell what is wrong with you and hit him, but I said nothing." And I told him he handled it perfectly. I have great kids and I can only hope that they grow into kind and generous individuals.
The other passage was.."is simply remember that the universe is filled with an infinite number of beings and to think, Just as I want happiness, all beings want happiness. Just as I wish to avoid suffering, all beings wish to avoid suffering. I am just one person, while the number of other beings is infinite. The well-being of this infinite number is more important than that of one." which I felt was appropriate to share on a day where we are reflective. I have an abundance of love that surrounds me and sometimes I feel how did I ever get so lucky when there are so many others that are more deserving or in need.
So, however you spend this day I hope it is joyful and full of many blessings!
“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust
Friday, November 7, 2014
Where the days may lead...
I think I posted earlier that we took our house off the market since we are going into colder months and I don't want to deal with any thought of a move during that time. And it is the best decision because we can't decide what that next step is going to be - both of us have different ideas of what that looks like.
I look at these brand new homes and think yes, those are nice and look at all the space and again think, yes it is nice, but it is not me. There is no character and honestly I don't want to spend the rest of my life paying a mortgage for a house, I don't want to work to live, I want to work to play.
I realize that our culture tells us from earlier on that there are steps to becoming an adult and as you grow and earn a bit more, your spending habits increase and you should upgrade your home, your belongings, etc...and at one time in my life I definitely wanted that dream. I wanted a big house to have dinner parties and entertain.
Yet, the older I become the more I realize how all those things for me are simply illusions. And I don't want that, I don't need a huge expensive home. What I do want is to live a more simple life and I know that means different things to different people.
For me, it means letting go of all the non-essential stuff and doing more of the things I love and living in a home that provides us exactly what we need, no more, no less....(do we need a bigger home when we don't even use the extra space in our current home? Do I really need the 10 pairs of boots in my closet) - No, so for me it means evaluating what is most important to me and getting rid of everything else. Getting rid of the clutter so I'm left with only the things have give meaning. Yet, I get overwhelmed because I walk into a room and have no idea where to begin.
The goal for me is to start this process by looking at all my commitments (work, family, hobbies, volunteer projects, home, etc) and identifying what needs to stay and consider what is in line with my priorities and values and start to eliminate those that don't. Obviously, I need to work, and I do love what I do, so for me, my current job situation aligns nicely with my life priorities, but some of my commitments I took on thinking it was important, but have realized it is energy draining and I'm ready to let it go. I'll finish with my commitments, but will not renew any future commitment.
The other goal I have is for us as a family to start working on one room at a time and identifying the items that give us meaning and those that don't and being decluttering.
I don't know where this journey will take me, but I see friends lose family members, I see my children get older, I know I'm getting older and I realize the things I cherish the most are all the experiences I have with my friends, my family - the laughter between friends, the joy of watching a rugby game with your family, the peacefulness you feel when you are surrounded by nature, the intimate kiss with the person you love - that is what I want.
I've realized that if I were to leave this world tomorrow, the impact I have on my spouse or children is not what I have provided them in things, but the emotional support I have given them, the memories I have created. Realizing that tomorrow is not promised, I want more experiences, I want more memories to create. And I'd rather work really hard to live a simply life that lets me travel and see and do the things I want than work really hard to pay for a mortgage for the rest of my life, but I also realize I have a spouse and children to consider. So, is there idea the same as mine? No, not really - my sweet pea keeps insisting that our next house be a two-story home, my wee man - he says he doesn't care so long as he can take his legos. My hub - he wants land and a nice home, but is open...he doesn't want a tiny house because he knew I was going to suggest that after watching "Tiny" (knows me to well that man of mine)...so for now, I'll be patient and flexible and start with my winter plan of decluttering because at the end of the day, I am happy and content and I know I have everything I need.
“...there are often many things we feel we should do that, in fact, we don't really have to do. Getting to the point where we can tell the difference is a major milestone in the simplification process.”- Elaine St. James
I look at these brand new homes and think yes, those are nice and look at all the space and again think, yes it is nice, but it is not me. There is no character and honestly I don't want to spend the rest of my life paying a mortgage for a house, I don't want to work to live, I want to work to play.
I realize that our culture tells us from earlier on that there are steps to becoming an adult and as you grow and earn a bit more, your spending habits increase and you should upgrade your home, your belongings, etc...and at one time in my life I definitely wanted that dream. I wanted a big house to have dinner parties and entertain.
Yet, the older I become the more I realize how all those things for me are simply illusions. And I don't want that, I don't need a huge expensive home. What I do want is to live a more simple life and I know that means different things to different people.
For me, it means letting go of all the non-essential stuff and doing more of the things I love and living in a home that provides us exactly what we need, no more, no less....(do we need a bigger home when we don't even use the extra space in our current home? Do I really need the 10 pairs of boots in my closet) - No, so for me it means evaluating what is most important to me and getting rid of everything else. Getting rid of the clutter so I'm left with only the things have give meaning. Yet, I get overwhelmed because I walk into a room and have no idea where to begin.
The goal for me is to start this process by looking at all my commitments (work, family, hobbies, volunteer projects, home, etc) and identifying what needs to stay and consider what is in line with my priorities and values and start to eliminate those that don't. Obviously, I need to work, and I do love what I do, so for me, my current job situation aligns nicely with my life priorities, but some of my commitments I took on thinking it was important, but have realized it is energy draining and I'm ready to let it go. I'll finish with my commitments, but will not renew any future commitment.
The other goal I have is for us as a family to start working on one room at a time and identifying the items that give us meaning and those that don't and being decluttering.
I don't know where this journey will take me, but I see friends lose family members, I see my children get older, I know I'm getting older and I realize the things I cherish the most are all the experiences I have with my friends, my family - the laughter between friends, the joy of watching a rugby game with your family, the peacefulness you feel when you are surrounded by nature, the intimate kiss with the person you love - that is what I want.
I've realized that if I were to leave this world tomorrow, the impact I have on my spouse or children is not what I have provided them in things, but the emotional support I have given them, the memories I have created. Realizing that tomorrow is not promised, I want more experiences, I want more memories to create. And I'd rather work really hard to live a simply life that lets me travel and see and do the things I want than work really hard to pay for a mortgage for the rest of my life, but I also realize I have a spouse and children to consider. So, is there idea the same as mine? No, not really - my sweet pea keeps insisting that our next house be a two-story home, my wee man - he says he doesn't care so long as he can take his legos. My hub - he wants land and a nice home, but is open...he doesn't want a tiny house because he knew I was going to suggest that after watching "Tiny" (knows me to well that man of mine)...so for now, I'll be patient and flexible and start with my winter plan of decluttering because at the end of the day, I am happy and content and I know I have everything I need.
“...there are often many things we feel we should do that, in fact, we don't really have to do. Getting to the point where we can tell the difference is a major milestone in the simplification process.”- Elaine St. James
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Amazing Game
This past weekend, we went to Chicago to watch the test match rugby game between the USA Eagles and the NZ All Blacks and what a fantastic game. The All Blacks dominated the game, but that was no surprise, I anticipated a clear win. The kids enjoyed the game, both of them were on their chairs screaming and cheering. My wee man has yet to stop talking about the game. The American team played with all their hearts and they played well - what I enjoyed was the crowds. I didn't hear any booing or name calling, it was just a great crowd enjoying this opportunity to see the world class team. Solider Field was sold out - 62000 fans enjoying a rugby game. I felt somewhat torn as I have dual citizenship with USA and NZ and I think what I enjoyed most about the game was hearing the New Zealand national anthem being sung on US soil and then in turn singing the US national anthem - for me it was an awesome moment.
My mum got a bit emotional hearing the New Zealand anthem being sung in Maori - she wasn't expecting that and I think it ties you back home, which at least that is how I felt. I've spend much of my life living in the US and I love living here, but at times my heart and soul yearn for New Zealand and I can't explain it. I've always felt torn between two places, lost not quite fitting in one or the other. When we left and I knew it would be a long time till I returned, I've always had an absence in my heart - a tug to go back to New Zealand and thankfully I've married someone who would move there and we have discussed it. I have my NZ passport ready in case I do see a job opportunity and definitely have and would consider the move there, but it is such a big move.
I hesitate to do it to my children. Not because they wouldn't adjust, I know they would love it and enjoy it, but I grew up not being close to my extended family (my dad's and my mum's) and it is hard - no matter how hard you try, you can't replace those bonds with grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles. Which is kind of ironic and sad because we have essentially no relationship with certain parts of the extended family, so it shouldn't matter, but I guess it boils down to I stay because my kids have relationships with their grandparents, and I hate the idea of taking that away regardless of how often they see any of their grandparents.
In today's digital environment, I know that they would still have a relationship and I still had a relationship with my relatives, but you lose a connection and so when my cousin or family comes to visit from New Zealand, I light up because it reminds me of home and everything good that I still hold on to - for me that connection is deep and when I'm close to reminders of home, a part of me feels restored.
We are trying to plan for a trip to New Zealand with the kids and it will be stretch to send four people over there, but I want them to see it, experience it and then maybe we can discuss moving after they have been there.
Anyway, I was glad to witness this great sporting event and be part of the many fans cheering on the greatest team ever. I hope that Americans got a taste for rugby and it makes them want to see more of the USA Eagles - it would be good to see more rugby being broadcasted, not just because of the All Blacks, but because it is a great sport to watch.
My mum got a bit emotional hearing the New Zealand anthem being sung in Maori - she wasn't expecting that and I think it ties you back home, which at least that is how I felt. I've spend much of my life living in the US and I love living here, but at times my heart and soul yearn for New Zealand and I can't explain it. I've always felt torn between two places, lost not quite fitting in one or the other. When we left and I knew it would be a long time till I returned, I've always had an absence in my heart - a tug to go back to New Zealand and thankfully I've married someone who would move there and we have discussed it. I have my NZ passport ready in case I do see a job opportunity and definitely have and would consider the move there, but it is such a big move.
I hesitate to do it to my children. Not because they wouldn't adjust, I know they would love it and enjoy it, but I grew up not being close to my extended family (my dad's and my mum's) and it is hard - no matter how hard you try, you can't replace those bonds with grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles. Which is kind of ironic and sad because we have essentially no relationship with certain parts of the extended family, so it shouldn't matter, but I guess it boils down to I stay because my kids have relationships with their grandparents, and I hate the idea of taking that away regardless of how often they see any of their grandparents.
In today's digital environment, I know that they would still have a relationship and I still had a relationship with my relatives, but you lose a connection and so when my cousin or family comes to visit from New Zealand, I light up because it reminds me of home and everything good that I still hold on to - for me that connection is deep and when I'm close to reminders of home, a part of me feels restored.
We are trying to plan for a trip to New Zealand with the kids and it will be stretch to send four people over there, but I want them to see it, experience it and then maybe we can discuss moving after they have been there.
Anyway, I was glad to witness this great sporting event and be part of the many fans cheering on the greatest team ever. I hope that Americans got a taste for rugby and it makes them want to see more of the USA Eagles - it would be good to see more rugby being broadcasted, not just because of the All Blacks, but because it is a great sport to watch.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Pallet Wall
The is a wall that I've always hated since we've lived in our home, it is the wall going down to the basement - it had this textured wallpaper that was plastered on and was just horrible. We try removing the wall paper, but it would pull chunks of the wall off leaving it uneven. The hubs fixed it, but it was still an eye sore. Then we came across a bedroom that had one wall completely covered in pallets and of course, lightbulb.....why don't we do that?
So, the hubs collected many pallets and I helped pull all the wood off and over a weekend, we had our pallet wall complete. I'm really happy with it and we didn't do the whole space, just one wall - I think if we were to have done all the walls, it would make the small space seem even smaller.
It is amazing how one simple change can really give your space a new look.
So, the hubs collected many pallets and I helped pull all the wood off and over a weekend, we had our pallet wall complete. I'm really happy with it and we didn't do the whole space, just one wall - I think if we were to have done all the walls, it would make the small space seem even smaller.
It is amazing how one simple change can really give your space a new look.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
First Crushes and More.....
I had a great conversation with my kiddos last night - we talked about life for an 8 year old and 9 year old and lessons I want them to always remember. You see, when I picked up my sweet pea from school yesterday, she was excited and just carried herself a little differently that afternoon. So, of course, I pry and she informs me that she left a note inside the locker of whom she has a crush on. I said did you sign the note? And she looks at me like I'm crazy and as a matter of factly states...."no of course not, but I did tell him to guess."
She said she felt so great that she finally worked up the courage to do it and so I reminded her that she was great regardless of whether this boy felt the same way or not. She said she knew and said she didn't care if he did like her back. And as a mom, I don't want to encourage crushes nor discourage it either because I clearly remember my first crush, but part of me wants to avoid the subject all together. I think it is just the mere reminder that they are growing older and as sweet as first crushes seem, I know there will be others and I know that at some point, there will be tears, but I didn't - knowing that both my kids have crushes on individuals, I decided to just listen. I stopped asking questions and I just listened as they shared their thoughts with me.
After I knew they were done, we talked about respect and knowing that it's okay to have crushes and it's okay if these people like us back or not like us back. I then shared my first crush with them and as they asked questions, we spoke and towards the end of the conversation I told them five things that I wanted them to remember, not about crushes, but about qualities within that I see growing....I told them that this was not advice, but merely things I recognized in them that I appreciated and loved.....
“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there.
It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.” - Ray Bradbury
She said she felt so great that she finally worked up the courage to do it and so I reminded her that she was great regardless of whether this boy felt the same way or not. She said she knew and said she didn't care if he did like her back. And as a mom, I don't want to encourage crushes nor discourage it either because I clearly remember my first crush, but part of me wants to avoid the subject all together. I think it is just the mere reminder that they are growing older and as sweet as first crushes seem, I know there will be others and I know that at some point, there will be tears, but I didn't - knowing that both my kids have crushes on individuals, I decided to just listen. I stopped asking questions and I just listened as they shared their thoughts with me.
After I knew they were done, we talked about respect and knowing that it's okay to have crushes and it's okay if these people like us back or not like us back. I then shared my first crush with them and as they asked questions, we spoke and towards the end of the conversation I told them five things that I wanted them to remember, not about crushes, but about qualities within that I see growing....I told them that this was not advice, but merely things I recognized in them that I appreciated and loved.....
- Always Be You - My daughter questions EVERY thing, which sometimes drives me up the wall, I told her that asking questions is good, you learn invaluable things by asking and observing. I told her that it was only until I was older that I felt it was okay to question things and that it takes a strong sense of self and that regardless of what may come her way, to stay true to who she is. I told her that her confidence at 9 is something I didn't have till I was an adult. I informed her that it is a the way we ask questions that enable us to grow. My wee man, he is my sensitive soul - like me, I believe he is an empath. He feels everything, hurts easily and also loves easily. He is most forgiving and is always thinking of others. I told him that sometimes he will feel isolated, but being sensitive means you have a huge heart and that you're not afraid to show your emotions.
- Find time to laugh - as they get older and as school progresses, I see that sometimes they get frustrated with various things - I told them that when they find that they are stressed or upset about something to find something that will make them laugh. Laughter is infectious and regardless of how upset or mad you may be at the time, when you start laughing instantly you feel better. I told them that if they need me to do something silly, if it will get them to laugh, I have no issues doing it!
- Be Kind - there will always be mean people regardless of where you go - it took me a while to realize it, but people who are mean are most often lacking something in their own life. So be kind, it may not make a difference to that mean person, but people will always remember how you treat them, not by what you said. I also said, being kind doesn't mean you have to give in or even be nice - it means that even in disagreements you are showing politeness towards others. I reminded my daughter that to remember to be kind in your words when she questions things.
- It's okay if someone doesn't like you or if you don't like someone back - both of you will go through life and meet many people, some of them will like you, some of them may not and you in turn may not like that person and this is okay. As long as you follow number 3, it's okay.
- Be Courageous - It may scare you at first, but it leaves a lasting impression and sometimes could change your future. I told them that after the hubby and I met, I was the first one to call him, had I not had the courage to do so, I could have been waiting for his call. I reminded them that have courage also means to never be afraid to stand up for yourself or stand up for others - sometimes it may be hard to do this especially, but too often if we allow bad behavior or treatment to continue even when we know it is wrong it will only continue to grow or get worse.
“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there.
It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.” - Ray Bradbury
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
12 Years 12 Dozen
We recently celebrated our twelfth wedding anniversary and I was greeted with 12 dozen roses the night before. You see, the hubs scheduled his annual creek clean-up event on our anniversary, and as often as he apologized, it never was an issue for me. So, on that morning as he was thanking the volunteers, he called me out and informed everyone it was our anniversary and how thankful he is that I allow him to spend our day out here picking up trash. I immediately became uncomfortable because I hate attention and teary-eyed because I actually enjoy the creek clean-up and events like these are such a part of our lives that what else would we do?
He then surprised me with dinner plans later that evening at one of my favorite restaurants and part of me felt bad because I didn't plan a single thing. I did surprise him with a gift, but I assumed we would be so tired after the clean-up that if we did dinner, it would be with the kids and just tossing some things together, so I felt spoiled. He also surprised me by having my wedding bands redesigned, I'm nervous because my rings have been a part of me for 12 years, but I'm excited to see what the design will be. He definitely was full of surprises this year.
As the years go by, you think marriage wouldn't be a surprise any more, and the more I realize how marriage constantly changes...you are never prepared for the journey it takes you. After several years, I think it will just get easier (and some years it is), but then sometimes it is harder and so you have to find a balance of what is working and what's not.
I keep trying to think that after twelve years I would have some grand knowledge, but I don't. We have our problems, our issues, our insecurities that come and go regardless of how long we have been together. Of course I get mad at him, he gets mad at me, but over these years I see the both of us changing and growing from the young kids we were and how life is shaping us. We change and I think that is important, if we refused to grow and change from who we were 12 years ago, then of course things would be hard. And I'm glad that I have someone who is willing to be part of my life and grow with me.
What I have learned is that marriage is all about giving because regardless of the issues or things going on, it is a constant giving by both individuals and it never ends, and sometimes it is not always 50/50....that's right, sometimes over the course of different periods in our life one of us is giving more than the other and that will always be the case, but as long as we are team and both support what is going on, it works. And the other thing I look at, is at the end of the day, who do I want standing next to me in this journey of life and always it is my love. When we were at dinner, I said, "does it really seem like 12 years, because I feel like it hasn't been that long?" He responded that indeed it doesn't....then I said something like, I don't know if that is good or bad and we laughed.
I've ever grateful for this man and love him more than I could ever express. He really makes me feel as if there is nothing that we can't do. I think of what we have accomplished in these short 12 years that I can't wait for what's in store......
“I told you. You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand.” - LJ Smith
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
― Khalil Gibran
He then surprised me with dinner plans later that evening at one of my favorite restaurants and part of me felt bad because I didn't plan a single thing. I did surprise him with a gift, but I assumed we would be so tired after the clean-up that if we did dinner, it would be with the kids and just tossing some things together, so I felt spoiled. He also surprised me by having my wedding bands redesigned, I'm nervous because my rings have been a part of me for 12 years, but I'm excited to see what the design will be. He definitely was full of surprises this year.
As the years go by, you think marriage wouldn't be a surprise any more, and the more I realize how marriage constantly changes...you are never prepared for the journey it takes you. After several years, I think it will just get easier (and some years it is), but then sometimes it is harder and so you have to find a balance of what is working and what's not.
I keep trying to think that after twelve years I would have some grand knowledge, but I don't. We have our problems, our issues, our insecurities that come and go regardless of how long we have been together. Of course I get mad at him, he gets mad at me, but over these years I see the both of us changing and growing from the young kids we were and how life is shaping us. We change and I think that is important, if we refused to grow and change from who we were 12 years ago, then of course things would be hard. And I'm glad that I have someone who is willing to be part of my life and grow with me.
What I have learned is that marriage is all about giving because regardless of the issues or things going on, it is a constant giving by both individuals and it never ends, and sometimes it is not always 50/50....that's right, sometimes over the course of different periods in our life one of us is giving more than the other and that will always be the case, but as long as we are team and both support what is going on, it works. And the other thing I look at, is at the end of the day, who do I want standing next to me in this journey of life and always it is my love. When we were at dinner, I said, "does it really seem like 12 years, because I feel like it hasn't been that long?" He responded that indeed it doesn't....then I said something like, I don't know if that is good or bad and we laughed.
I've ever grateful for this man and love him more than I could ever express. He really makes me feel as if there is nothing that we can't do. I think of what we have accomplished in these short 12 years that I can't wait for what's in store......
“I told you. You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand.” - LJ Smith
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
― Khalil Gibran
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Wilderness Awe
"The mountains are calling and I must go," said John Muir and I know it well. I feel it in the depths of my soul when I'm in Aotearoa and when I hit a landscape that reminds of home, it calls and pulls at my heart.
We decided at the last minute to take the kids on one last summer adventure before school started. So we knew we would drive and since we went to Niagara Falls last summer we decided to head West to Colorado.
I have been there via the Denver airport, but that was it - we were going to go for my graduation ceremony, but it was the middle of winter and driving didn't seem like a good idea at the time, so we didn't attend the ceremony, other than the glimpse I had seen from the airport windows, that was my experience. Hubby had been as a kid, skiing with his dad. I was excited to see the Rocky Mountains.
So, we jumped in the car and drove West and our first stop was Estes Park to the Rocky Mountain National Park. We stopped and did some very basic, very easy hiking and at first the kids were all game and then as we continued on the Rocky Mountain Trail Ridge Road and would stop, hike some more, the kids got tired, antsy and complain. We eventually told them that when they got older and had kids of their own, they could take this same trek and tell their kids the story of when mom and dad forced them to climb this trail and how horrible it was, but how much they loved it once they got to the top, they didn't like that and informed us that they would carry their kids. I said remind me of this conversation in twenty or so years.
The Trail Ridge Road was breathtaking, we saw some Elk and it is just amazing and I'm so grateful that we still have places that are not developed and are left for generations to come and enjoy this piece of nature, wilderness.
From there we headed to Breckenridge where we got to relax a bit and hit the Alpine Slide. You get to take the chair lift to the top of the mountain and then sit on a plastic sled type thing (it does have a brake) and then slide down to the bottom via some twists and turns down the mountain. It was more fun than I had anticipated and the kids just had a blast.
Then it was on to one of the places that I have always wanted to visit - Mesa Verde National Park where the cliff dwellings are. And wow, I was not expecting to feel what I felt - it was amazing. Rocky Mountain National Park was beautiful, but Mesa Verde - is special - there is something inherently remarkable about the land, that it draws you in, wanting more. We took two tours - one at Cliff Palace and the other at Balcony House. Right before we were getting ready to leave, we stopped to take a photo and I saw a man walking by, I smiled, he smiled and I said, "this is beautiful, I'm in awe." He stopped and started to speak and informed us that just a few steps over was the reservation side of the park....he was part of the Ute Native Indian tribe and part of the park belongs to them. He pointed to a direction and said that some members sell fry bread, jewelry and things over there and we should stop by. And then he said that visitors are not allowed within the reservation side without a member of the tribe. I told him that I was just taking a photo here and would not disrespect the grounds - he then came closer and said, come with me.
He then lead us through a closed road and into the reservation side - he said the view is better here and took us for a short walk directly atop a cliff and he was right, the view was stunning.
I was quickly overcome with emotion and thanked him for this amazing moment. All of us stood there for a bit in silence, just listening....you could hear the ravens.
We headed back and he told us about the Ute Native Indian tribe and some history, and some of what they believe about the cliff dwellings.
We parted and I hugged him - I felt close to him in those brief moments. I'm sure if we were to go back, I would want to visit the Ute Mountain Tribal Park.
Our final stop before heading home was in Pagosa Springs. We were going to head straight home from Mesa Verde, but decided as we were approaching Pagosa Springs to stop and enjoy soaking in the hot pools. So we did, we capped off our summer trip with a nice soak in the hot springs and reflected on the last few days.
Sometimes I get sad because of what we are doing to this earth and how little we appreciate the gifts that this land truly is, but then I'm hopeful that my children will see these amazing places and be inspired to preserve what we are not, to cherish these sacred lands.
I love being in nature, feeling the ground beneath, it makes you realize how small you really are and it really makes you appreciate the land for what it is, the simple beauty that is. It makes you pause and even if it is for a moment, reflect on something greater - connected to all things.
"So extraordinary is Nature with her choicest treasures, spending plant beauty as she spends sunshine, pouring it forth into land and sea, garden and desert. And so the beauty of lilies falls on angels and men, bears and squirrels, wolves and sheep, birds and bees...." - John Muir
We decided at the last minute to take the kids on one last summer adventure before school started. So we knew we would drive and since we went to Niagara Falls last summer we decided to head West to Colorado.
I have been there via the Denver airport, but that was it - we were going to go for my graduation ceremony, but it was the middle of winter and driving didn't seem like a good idea at the time, so we didn't attend the ceremony, other than the glimpse I had seen from the airport windows, that was my experience. Hubby had been as a kid, skiing with his dad. I was excited to see the Rocky Mountains.
So, we jumped in the car and drove West and our first stop was Estes Park to the Rocky Mountain National Park. We stopped and did some very basic, very easy hiking and at first the kids were all game and then as we continued on the Rocky Mountain Trail Ridge Road and would stop, hike some more, the kids got tired, antsy and complain. We eventually told them that when they got older and had kids of their own, they could take this same trek and tell their kids the story of when mom and dad forced them to climb this trail and how horrible it was, but how much they loved it once they got to the top, they didn't like that and informed us that they would carry their kids. I said remind me of this conversation in twenty or so years.
The Trail Ridge Road was breathtaking, we saw some Elk and it is just amazing and I'm so grateful that we still have places that are not developed and are left for generations to come and enjoy this piece of nature, wilderness.
From there we headed to Breckenridge where we got to relax a bit and hit the Alpine Slide. You get to take the chair lift to the top of the mountain and then sit on a plastic sled type thing (it does have a brake) and then slide down to the bottom via some twists and turns down the mountain. It was more fun than I had anticipated and the kids just had a blast.
Then it was on to one of the places that I have always wanted to visit - Mesa Verde National Park where the cliff dwellings are. And wow, I was not expecting to feel what I felt - it was amazing. Rocky Mountain National Park was beautiful, but Mesa Verde - is special - there is something inherently remarkable about the land, that it draws you in, wanting more. We took two tours - one at Cliff Palace and the other at Balcony House. Right before we were getting ready to leave, we stopped to take a photo and I saw a man walking by, I smiled, he smiled and I said, "this is beautiful, I'm in awe." He stopped and started to speak and informed us that just a few steps over was the reservation side of the park....he was part of the Ute Native Indian tribe and part of the park belongs to them. He pointed to a direction and said that some members sell fry bread, jewelry and things over there and we should stop by. And then he said that visitors are not allowed within the reservation side without a member of the tribe. I told him that I was just taking a photo here and would not disrespect the grounds - he then came closer and said, come with me.
He then lead us through a closed road and into the reservation side - he said the view is better here and took us for a short walk directly atop a cliff and he was right, the view was stunning.
I was quickly overcome with emotion and thanked him for this amazing moment. All of us stood there for a bit in silence, just listening....you could hear the ravens.
We headed back and he told us about the Ute Native Indian tribe and some history, and some of what they believe about the cliff dwellings.
We parted and I hugged him - I felt close to him in those brief moments. I'm sure if we were to go back, I would want to visit the Ute Mountain Tribal Park.
Our final stop before heading home was in Pagosa Springs. We were going to head straight home from Mesa Verde, but decided as we were approaching Pagosa Springs to stop and enjoy soaking in the hot pools. So we did, we capped off our summer trip with a nice soak in the hot springs and reflected on the last few days.
Sometimes I get sad because of what we are doing to this earth and how little we appreciate the gifts that this land truly is, but then I'm hopeful that my children will see these amazing places and be inspired to preserve what we are not, to cherish these sacred lands.
I love being in nature, feeling the ground beneath, it makes you realize how small you really are and it really makes you appreciate the land for what it is, the simple beauty that is. It makes you pause and even if it is for a moment, reflect on something greater - connected to all things.
"So extraordinary is Nature with her choicest treasures, spending plant beauty as she spends sunshine, pouring it forth into land and sea, garden and desert. And so the beauty of lilies falls on angels and men, bears and squirrels, wolves and sheep, birds and bees...." - John Muir
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Mom's Night Out...
Monday night is just as good as any night for a mom's night out....I was invited to get some dinner and enjoy some drinks with a friend and her friend, whom I had not met before.
It's always a little unnerving meeting other women, especially when you don't them and I think it is because for the most part, we've been brought up in asociety where females tend to compete with one another. I enjoyed hanging with these women because sometimes when you get in a group of different women, somewhere in the conversation negative stereotypes pop up, self-criticism comes in or other negative attitudes arise and what I found was none of those popped up in our conversations. It didn't become a "bitchfest" at all and not that all girls night turn into that, it was just refreshing.
And what a great night it was...it wasn't too long before the stories started to go around, lots of laughs, and even some swearing was tossed around. It was a great evening and it was great to be surrounded with such empowering women. I was just grateful to enjoy the night for what it was. I don't get out for many "Girls or Moms" nights, not because I don't want too, but it seems our schedules are so busy that I can't make it and often what results is people stop asking, but as I was thinking this morning, I realized I really need to make more time for those evenings. I didn't realize how much I miss it till now.....
Thank you ladies for including me in your night!
"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass." - Maya Angelou.
It's always a little unnerving meeting other women, especially when you don't them and I think it is because for the most part, we've been brought up in asociety where females tend to compete with one another. I enjoyed hanging with these women because sometimes when you get in a group of different women, somewhere in the conversation negative stereotypes pop up, self-criticism comes in or other negative attitudes arise and what I found was none of those popped up in our conversations. It didn't become a "bitchfest" at all and not that all girls night turn into that, it was just refreshing.
And what a great night it was...it wasn't too long before the stories started to go around, lots of laughs, and even some swearing was tossed around. It was a great evening and it was great to be surrounded with such empowering women. I was just grateful to enjoy the night for what it was. I don't get out for many "Girls or Moms" nights, not because I don't want too, but it seems our schedules are so busy that I can't make it and often what results is people stop asking, but as I was thinking this morning, I realized I really need to make more time for those evenings. I didn't realize how much I miss it till now.....
Thank you ladies for including me in your night!
"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass." - Maya Angelou.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Hidden
Sometimes life can be so overwhelming that everything seems hidden - even if it is right before your eyes. This summer has been a wonderful, full of decisions journey. We listed our home for sale by owner, have shown it a few times, but no offers, which is okay with me. We really don't know where we are going, so I feel when the time is right, the opportunity will present itself.
I passed on a job opportunity with a great company - I was honest with them in my decision making and the timing was just not right. I enjoy what I do and I enjoy the people I work with - sometimes change may present itself, but I say only go into it if your heart is in it. The kids start school in a matter of weeks and where or what we did is beyond me - we are planning a trip the week before the kids go back, but it seems like summer went and came in the blink of an eye.
I recently watched a film on Netflix, titled Life in a Day, which was a series of video clips selected from 80,000 clips submitted to Youtube, showing respective occurrences from around the world on a single day, July 24, 2010. The strange thing was I watched it on July 24th - without a thought until I realized halfway through the date. It was fun to watch and made me feel a bit sad for the turmoil of what is taking place in Gaza with Israel and Palestine - there is no winner in situations like that. I clearly remember being in 5th and 6th grade when I became aware there was turmoil in the Middle East and the conflict of there and thinking how great it would be to have peace one day and that it could be accomplished, "if only they knew...," but unfortunately politicians run the world and peace is not profitable. The amount of money the US government is sending in "aid," is astounding. And I don't have a side - I stand with Israel, but not its actions and I stand with the Palestine. I often find myself what type of world we are leaving for our children, what lessons will they learn? As a child, I clearly remember the day when I realize my great nanny was ashamed of her skin color and how sad that made me feel because in my eyes she was a beautiful woman and it stuck with me and I remember growing up thinking that "I" could change the world....we participated in events like "farm aid" and "hands across America" and I think it was events like those, that lead me to believe that one day things would be different...one day people would realize the value of a person's life - would see beyond...wouldn't life be grand....imagine.
And now I have children of my own, and I am starting to doubt humanity - what are we leaving them? Food that is polluted with chemicals and toxins, a water supply that we treat as our personal dumping grounds, the killing of animals without thought of the consequences and treating life as if it is nothing. I feel as if I am becoming jaded....which is ironic because personally life is wonderful, but I struggle with what is the impact that I am leaving my children. My hubby organizes a local stream clean up on an annual basis and each year the number of people who participates grows and I think it is great, but is it making an impact? We often get tied up in our own world that we overlook what life might be like for someone else and in today's world with the resources we have, we should be in a better place and we are not. We are taking everything for granted, yet what do we do? For myself, I try to be a good role model for my children, but I don't know if that is enough? It's weird because we are connected digitally, but often I feel ever more hidden.
“You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”- John Lennon
I passed on a job opportunity with a great company - I was honest with them in my decision making and the timing was just not right. I enjoy what I do and I enjoy the people I work with - sometimes change may present itself, but I say only go into it if your heart is in it. The kids start school in a matter of weeks and where or what we did is beyond me - we are planning a trip the week before the kids go back, but it seems like summer went and came in the blink of an eye.
I recently watched a film on Netflix, titled Life in a Day, which was a series of video clips selected from 80,000 clips submitted to Youtube, showing respective occurrences from around the world on a single day, July 24, 2010. The strange thing was I watched it on July 24th - without a thought until I realized halfway through the date. It was fun to watch and made me feel a bit sad for the turmoil of what is taking place in Gaza with Israel and Palestine - there is no winner in situations like that. I clearly remember being in 5th and 6th grade when I became aware there was turmoil in the Middle East and the conflict of there and thinking how great it would be to have peace one day and that it could be accomplished, "if only they knew...," but unfortunately politicians run the world and peace is not profitable. The amount of money the US government is sending in "aid," is astounding. And I don't have a side - I stand with Israel, but not its actions and I stand with the Palestine. I often find myself what type of world we are leaving for our children, what lessons will they learn? As a child, I clearly remember the day when I realize my great nanny was ashamed of her skin color and how sad that made me feel because in my eyes she was a beautiful woman and it stuck with me and I remember growing up thinking that "I" could change the world....we participated in events like "farm aid" and "hands across America" and I think it was events like those, that lead me to believe that one day things would be different...one day people would realize the value of a person's life - would see beyond...wouldn't life be grand....imagine.
And now I have children of my own, and I am starting to doubt humanity - what are we leaving them? Food that is polluted with chemicals and toxins, a water supply that we treat as our personal dumping grounds, the killing of animals without thought of the consequences and treating life as if it is nothing. I feel as if I am becoming jaded....which is ironic because personally life is wonderful, but I struggle with what is the impact that I am leaving my children. My hubby organizes a local stream clean up on an annual basis and each year the number of people who participates grows and I think it is great, but is it making an impact? We often get tied up in our own world that we overlook what life might be like for someone else and in today's world with the resources we have, we should be in a better place and we are not. We are taking everything for granted, yet what do we do? For myself, I try to be a good role model for my children, but I don't know if that is enough? It's weird because we are connected digitally, but often I feel ever more hidden.
“You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”- John Lennon
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Walked in as a stranger, left with much more......
As soon as I heard about the Public Montessori UnConference, I knew I wanted to attend, here was an opportunity to meet-up with educators, researchers, parents, supporters of public Montessori with the idea to share the challenges and successes, including discussion on ways to expand Montessori education for all children.
It was hosted by the City Garden Montessori School in St. Louis, whose mission is to provide high-quality education to a diverse student population following the philosophy of Maria Montessori, and to cultivate young people who value and respect themselves, others, the environment, and the world community.
What I immediately loved was the idea of this open space conference where "whoever shows up is the meant to be there and whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened."
On the first evening, we were asked to write down the topics we wanted to talk about and then I sat in wonderment as we went around with introductions and instantly ideas and thoughts were flowing; stories of challenges and success were shared, and all were ready to talk about what can be done with public Montessori, how can we expand this type of education for all children. Discussion focused on certification requirements (both state and Montessori), accountability, cost of starting up, parent education, state laws, the language that is used within traditional public school vs Montessori, and anti-biased anti-racist - learning to exist together.
Immediately you could sense that it was a group of individuals full of passion - it was indeed the right group. And part of me, since I'm just a parent, felt a bit intimidated to be with these individuals who are already changing the face of public Montessori in their own ways. It was overwhelming and exciting.
The next day, I walked in feeling energized and ready to learn as much as I could. We broke up into different sessions - I went to the discussions about breaking the myth that Montessori is only for the elite, advocacy - how do you spread the word, social justice, fundraising, and policy changes. I took away a lot - I loved learning what Oglesby was doing in Chicago's South Side communities. There was a ton of discussion taking place and it was inspiring to be in a room of these individuals who are all committed to public Montessori as a means in helping every child reach their full potential.
The biggest thing that I walked away with, is that I could be doing more to, should be doing more and after listening and talking with these individuals it only validated that and inspires me to make change, to perhaps have conversations that make us uncomfortable so we can open our eyes - that Montessori is for all and should be part of the education reform.
At dinner, the discussions continued and although, I walked in as a stranger, I left feeling as if I've made new friends parting ways with hugs and realizing that these are the people; the ones who are changing the world.
One of the directors for the "Building the Pink Tower" attended and I had seen the trailer prior to this event and I'm so excited for this film to release - I hope that it will be viewed by parents and it will create the buzz that is needed to get this movement going. Best of Luck to those involved in this project! Here is the link
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead
"No love or friendship can ever cross our path without affecting us in some way forever." - Muriac
It was hosted by the City Garden Montessori School in St. Louis, whose mission is to provide high-quality education to a diverse student population following the philosophy of Maria Montessori, and to cultivate young people who value and respect themselves, others, the environment, and the world community.
What I immediately loved was the idea of this open space conference where "whoever shows up is the meant to be there and whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened."
On the first evening, we were asked to write down the topics we wanted to talk about and then I sat in wonderment as we went around with introductions and instantly ideas and thoughts were flowing; stories of challenges and success were shared, and all were ready to talk about what can be done with public Montessori, how can we expand this type of education for all children. Discussion focused on certification requirements (both state and Montessori), accountability, cost of starting up, parent education, state laws, the language that is used within traditional public school vs Montessori, and anti-biased anti-racist - learning to exist together.
Immediately you could sense that it was a group of individuals full of passion - it was indeed the right group. And part of me, since I'm just a parent, felt a bit intimidated to be with these individuals who are already changing the face of public Montessori in their own ways. It was overwhelming and exciting.
The next day, I walked in feeling energized and ready to learn as much as I could. We broke up into different sessions - I went to the discussions about breaking the myth that Montessori is only for the elite, advocacy - how do you spread the word, social justice, fundraising, and policy changes. I took away a lot - I loved learning what Oglesby was doing in Chicago's South Side communities. There was a ton of discussion taking place and it was inspiring to be in a room of these individuals who are all committed to public Montessori as a means in helping every child reach their full potential.
The biggest thing that I walked away with, is that I could be doing more to, should be doing more and after listening and talking with these individuals it only validated that and inspires me to make change, to perhaps have conversations that make us uncomfortable so we can open our eyes - that Montessori is for all and should be part of the education reform.
At dinner, the discussions continued and although, I walked in as a stranger, I left feeling as if I've made new friends parting ways with hugs and realizing that these are the people; the ones who are changing the world.
One of the directors for the "Building the Pink Tower" attended and I had seen the trailer prior to this event and I'm so excited for this film to release - I hope that it will be viewed by parents and it will create the buzz that is needed to get this movement going. Best of Luck to those involved in this project! Here is the link
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead
"No love or friendship can ever cross our path without affecting us in some way forever." - Muriac
Monday, May 12, 2014
A lot Going on....
The last few weeks have been busy - I recently became the President of the kids parent group at school, so I'm trying to learn the ropes of that. We recently were one of several homes that hosted the first Urban Tour de Cluck - it is a bike ride throughout the metro touring urban chicken coops. It was fun, we had about 30 or so people go through and visit our coop and chickens.
And we also decided to put our house on the market - the hubs wants an acreage, so we decided to list it as For Sale By Owner right now, because we are not in a hurry - we need to find land to build our house on. Once we do that, then we will most likely get a realtor to actually list it, but there are three other house for sale on our street, so we figured we might as well take advantage of people driving by with sticking a sign in our yard.
It is bittersweet - I look forward to building a house the way we want and having a larger space, but I really love the home and community we live in - change is hard, but I look at it as if things are meant to be, life will sort itself out.I want to stay within 20 minutes and no more than 30 minutes of the metro - so hopefully we will find land that suits what we want - the hub knows someone who offered to sell us 10 acres of his large farm, but it is further than I want to be, but like I said, whatever will be, will be.
Yesterday was Mother's Day and I celebrated simply by being with my children - I got breakfast in bed, a beautiful ring, letters, and drawings. We did make a run to the ER around 7:00 pm because my little man has been sick the last few days and was having symptoms similar to appendicitis - I knew it was either a stomach bug or appendicitis, he kept saying that he was in horrible pain on the lower right side and I debated about waiting to take him to the doctors in the morning, but the thought of it bursting and causing more damage if we waited scared me, so in the end we went to the ER - they gave him some tests and said he was a bit dehydrated, so gave him an IV for fluids and felt that it was more a virus than appendicitis and decided not to do a CT scan, but she said if his condition worsened to bring him back immediately. He woke up this morning and seems a bit better, so hopefully he is on the mend.
If you are a mother, I hope you celebrated your day in a wonderful and special way!
And we also decided to put our house on the market - the hubs wants an acreage, so we decided to list it as For Sale By Owner right now, because we are not in a hurry - we need to find land to build our house on. Once we do that, then we will most likely get a realtor to actually list it, but there are three other house for sale on our street, so we figured we might as well take advantage of people driving by with sticking a sign in our yard.
It is bittersweet - I look forward to building a house the way we want and having a larger space, but I really love the home and community we live in - change is hard, but I look at it as if things are meant to be, life will sort itself out.I want to stay within 20 minutes and no more than 30 minutes of the metro - so hopefully we will find land that suits what we want - the hub knows someone who offered to sell us 10 acres of his large farm, but it is further than I want to be, but like I said, whatever will be, will be.
Yesterday was Mother's Day and I celebrated simply by being with my children - I got breakfast in bed, a beautiful ring, letters, and drawings. We did make a run to the ER around 7:00 pm because my little man has been sick the last few days and was having symptoms similar to appendicitis - I knew it was either a stomach bug or appendicitis, he kept saying that he was in horrible pain on the lower right side and I debated about waiting to take him to the doctors in the morning, but the thought of it bursting and causing more damage if we waited scared me, so in the end we went to the ER - they gave him some tests and said he was a bit dehydrated, so gave him an IV for fluids and felt that it was more a virus than appendicitis and decided not to do a CT scan, but she said if his condition worsened to bring him back immediately. He woke up this morning and seems a bit better, so hopefully he is on the mend.
If you are a mother, I hope you celebrated your day in a wonderful and special way!
Friday, April 11, 2014
Days 10 and 11 and you guessed it Poems 10 and 11
I got a bit behind so I'm posting yesterday's poem and today's poem
Yesterday as I was waiting to pick up the kids I happened to watch some scattered leaves
Untitled
By DBF
© 2014
the wind blows
the leaves dance
among the scattered branches
one, two, three fall
ever so gracefully
suspended in time
just for a brief moment
till it lands
upon the hard cracked surface
Dreams
By DBF
© 2014
I wait
for what
I'm not sure
yet I feel it
something
coming in the stillness
wanting more
greatness
aspirations
but I can't quite
grasp it
testing me
I wait
as each day passes
I grow
in hopes that
I will seek
whatever it is
that calls me
Yesterday as I was waiting to pick up the kids I happened to watch some scattered leaves
Untitled
By DBF
© 2014
the wind blows
the leaves dance
among the scattered branches
one, two, three fall
ever so gracefully
suspended in time
just for a brief moment
till it lands
upon the hard cracked surface
Dreams
By DBF
© 2014
I wait
for what
I'm not sure
yet I feel it
something
coming in the stillness
wanting more
greatness
aspirations
but I can't quite
grasp it
testing me
I wait
as each day passes
I grow
in hopes that
I will seek
whatever it is
that calls me
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
It's day 9...guess what that means....Poem 9
This poem is one I wrote after my nana passed away, but I took some time to revise it
Memories
By DBF
© 2014
There is a light
that never leaves.
It's where you will
find your dreams.
The memories I try
to keep,
remembering
the details of your face
and your warm loving embrace.
There is a light
that never leaves.
It's where you will
find me holding on
to you.
Memories
By DBF
© 2014
There is a light
that never leaves.
It's where you will
find your dreams.
The memories I try
to keep,
remembering
the details of your face
and your warm loving embrace.
There is a light
that never leaves.
It's where you will
find me holding on
to you.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Poem 8 to share for Day 8
Here is an older poem that I wrote many moons back
Lesson
By DBF
© 2014
My weakness
was caring about you,
believing you.
Holding on to
broken promises
and empty words.
My weakness was
never telling you no,
but I soon learned.
My strength grew,
I overcame my fear.
Now all that is left
are painful memories
that I can't seem to forget.
Yet, my strength grew
and now I know that
I can let go
and forgive.
Lesson
By DBF
© 2014
My weakness
was caring about you,
believing you.
Holding on to
broken promises
and empty words.
My weakness was
never telling you no,
but I soon learned.
My strength grew,
I overcame my fear.
Now all that is left
are painful memories
that I can't seem to forget.
Yet, my strength grew
and now I know that
I can let go
and forgive.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Two Poems to share for Day 6 and Day 7 of the NaPoWriMo
I took yesterday off of electronics so I didn't get to post my Day 6 poem, so I am going to include it with today's poem
Sweet Child
By DBF
© 2014
I gaze into
those great big eyes
so pure, so innocent
not yet touched
by the woes of the world
no damage to the soul
simply filled with a
curiosity of wonder
a laughter so light, so fun
I see all this
and filled with an
endless love
greater than
my existence
Amongst the field
By DBF
© 2014
The day
breaks
into pieces
it falls
nothing left,
but the orange hue
stretching across
the empty land
glimpse into
a time forgotten
unknown
it beakons
to tell its secrets
share its tale
and I walk
into the field
fingers running across
the prairie grass
I sit
quietly
listening to the tale
Sweet Child
By DBF
© 2014
I gaze into
those great big eyes
so pure, so innocent
not yet touched
by the woes of the world
no damage to the soul
simply filled with a
curiosity of wonder
a laughter so light, so fun
I see all this
and filled with an
endless love
greater than
my existence
Amongst the field
By DBF
© 2014
The day
breaks
into pieces
it falls
nothing left,
but the orange hue
stretching across
the empty land
glimpse into
a time forgotten
unknown
it beakons
to tell its secrets
share its tale
and I walk
into the field
fingers running across
the prairie grass
I sit
quietly
listening to the tale
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Poem 5 for Day 5
Day 5 it is and here is Poem 5
Rise
By DBF
© 2014
a still moment
early morning haze
covers the field
as the sun breaks away
casting its golden hue
Rise
By DBF
© 2014
a still moment
early morning haze
covers the field
as the sun breaks away
casting its golden hue
Friday, April 4, 2014
Day 4 coming along, Poem 4
Untitled
By DBF
© 2014
drops of rain
upon the window
bead together
while more descend
from the petals
of a Easter lily
constantly changing
constantly flowing
tiny specks of light
reflect off
sparkles through the room
like fairies dancing on stars
By DBF
© 2014
drops of rain
upon the window
bead together
while more descend
from the petals
of a Easter lily
constantly changing
constantly flowing
tiny specks of light
reflect off
sparkles through the room
like fairies dancing on stars
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Day 3....Poem 3
I revisited some of my earlier poems and pulled this one out back from 1997 for Day 3 and I ended up cleaning it up a bit...here is Poem 3....
Move On
By DBF
© 2014
I don't need you
I thought I did,
but I was blinded
by what I saw.
I can move on
I knew I could,
but I was distracted
by what turned me on.
You had me
that's all I need to say,
because you told me
what I wanted to hear.
But now,
I don't need you
and,
I can move on.
No more
shall I take
from you.
Move On
By DBF
© 2014
I don't need you
I thought I did,
but I was blinded
by what I saw.
I can move on
I knew I could,
but I was distracted
by what turned me on.
You had me
that's all I need to say,
because you told me
what I wanted to hear.
But now,
I don't need you
and,
I can move on.
No more
shall I take
from you.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
NaPoWriMo....Day 2, Poem 2
Here is my second poem for NaPoWriMo
Light
By DBF
© 2014
eternal sunshine
that I seek
I'm not afriad
to take the leap
I welcome
the silence
and perhaps
the peace
yet I too am afraid
can't quite speak
so I wait
and wait
perhaps the light
will comfort me
Light
By DBF
© 2014
eternal sunshine
that I seek
I'm not afriad
to take the leap
I welcome
the silence
and perhaps
the peace
yet I too am afraid
can't quite speak
so I wait
and wait
perhaps the light
will comfort me
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
April is NaPoWriMo....my first poem of the month
April is National Poetry Writing Month....30 poems in 30 days and I'm going to try it this year!
We'll see if I can stay up to the challenge I love writing poetry and having over 200, I use to write extensively, but over the years it is only here and there and I miss it, so what better way to get yourself back in then to dive write in...
If you would like to participate or view others participating, check out the NaPoWriMo website
Here is my first poem of the month
Aotearoa
By DBF
© 2014
The deep seas are calling me
The mountains are howling my name
to come home.
The land of my ancestors,
the land of my mother,
the land which I am from.
Beautiful with grace
it steals your breath away,
The land runs through
my soul,
my body,
my blood
and engulfs me in a wave of wonder.
Oh how the sea calls me
and the mountains howl for me to come.
And I so faraway
can hear it loudly
for I am your lost child
in a world not my own
any my soul yearns to break free
back to Aotearoa
fished from the sea.
We'll see if I can stay up to the challenge I love writing poetry and having over 200, I use to write extensively, but over the years it is only here and there and I miss it, so what better way to get yourself back in then to dive write in...
If you would like to participate or view others participating, check out the NaPoWriMo website
Here is my first poem of the month
Aotearoa
By DBF
© 2014
The deep seas are calling me
The mountains are howling my name
to come home.
The land of my ancestors,
the land of my mother,
the land which I am from.
Beautiful with grace
it steals your breath away,
The land runs through
my soul,
my body,
my blood
and engulfs me in a wave of wonder.
Oh how the sea calls me
and the mountains howl for me to come.
And I so faraway
can hear it loudly
for I am your lost child
in a world not my own
any my soul yearns to break free
back to Aotearoa
fished from the sea.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Oh my, she's nine!
It was nine years ago, when she came into my life - I had no idea what "motherhood" would be like and I was scared as I held this wee blue-eyed, blonde hair child, who look nothing like me, but for her wee nose.
I had no idea what we were getting into, starting a family - there are no rules and any books I read overwhelmed me.
But, as I held her in my arms and she wrapped her tiny fingers around mine, I thought, did I really help create this beautiful girl and immediately my ideas of motherhood had changed. As the years have past, I still really have no idea what we are doing, I just hope and pray we are making the best decisions not just for her, but for both my children. They come first in any decision we make and I've always lead with that.
So today, she turns NINE and I want to cry, not because I'm sad, but because it has all transformed so quickly. She has gone from singing nursery rhymes to songs of her own, she has gone from me reading her bedtime stories to her reading them to me. And she is developing into this free-spirited, independent, amazingly smart and confident, wee girl - she questions everything and although sometimes I'd like her to just say, "okay," I wouldn't have it any other way.
It reminds me of when my dad came home from sea, he had missed one of my birthdays, and when he came back, he said, "will you stay my little girl forever," and I said "forever." I always had this idea of what it was like to be a parent, but you really have no idea until you become one, you are forever changed, forever protective and I look at her and think.."if only you could stay my little girl forever," but I know that simply isn't the case...we will grow, we will get older...all I can do is guide her through the years and hope that one day she will become whatever her heart desires.
Happy Birthday Sweetpea!
“I sometimes wake in the early morning & listen to the soft breathing of my child & I think to myself, this is one thing I will never regret & I carry that quiet with me all day long.” - Brian Andreas
I had no idea what we were getting into, starting a family - there are no rules and any books I read overwhelmed me.
But, as I held her in my arms and she wrapped her tiny fingers around mine, I thought, did I really help create this beautiful girl and immediately my ideas of motherhood had changed. As the years have past, I still really have no idea what we are doing, I just hope and pray we are making the best decisions not just for her, but for both my children. They come first in any decision we make and I've always lead with that.
So today, she turns NINE and I want to cry, not because I'm sad, but because it has all transformed so quickly. She has gone from singing nursery rhymes to songs of her own, she has gone from me reading her bedtime stories to her reading them to me. And she is developing into this free-spirited, independent, amazingly smart and confident, wee girl - she questions everything and although sometimes I'd like her to just say, "okay," I wouldn't have it any other way.
It reminds me of when my dad came home from sea, he had missed one of my birthdays, and when he came back, he said, "will you stay my little girl forever," and I said "forever." I always had this idea of what it was like to be a parent, but you really have no idea until you become one, you are forever changed, forever protective and I look at her and think.."if only you could stay my little girl forever," but I know that simply isn't the case...we will grow, we will get older...all I can do is guide her through the years and hope that one day she will become whatever her heart desires.
Happy Birthday Sweetpea!
“I sometimes wake in the early morning & listen to the soft breathing of my child & I think to myself, this is one thing I will never regret & I carry that quiet with me all day long.” - Brian Andreas
Friday, March 7, 2014
Reflection and Focus
February has come and gone and I feel ever overwhelmed. In my last post, my goal was to complete 35 random acts of kindness as a celebration for my 35th birthday. Although, I did not accomplish 35 acts, I did complete 24 acts of kindness. I did everything from give compliments to random strangers, delivered treats, paid for someone's coffee, paid for someone's lunch, left a large tip, helped with a project and donated to a woman's organization, and a few others.
The biggest thing I learned from this, was that some people welcomed the acts, some were not sure what to expect and others were willing to pass it along. I had ideas of what I wanted to do or accomplish, but what I found is that the most impacting acts were the ones that I did unexpectedly and it just felt right at the moment. So, I ended up tossing what I had planned and just did it when I felt it was the right time. We went on vacation and were at the beach and our kids were snorkeling. There were two local kids that tagged along with us and the one boy kept looking over at the mask, the kids let him borrow it and he jumped out of the water and was so excited. His reaction o being able to see underwater was priceless and I immediately thought, maybe we should give him the mask, but I didn't say anything because it was the kids gear. By the time we got back to the beach, the kids came up and asked if they could give the boy the mask. I told them it was up to them, but that I thought he would really enjoy it, so they did and he couldn't believe it. The kids said, "we just got you another item to add to your acts of kindness list."
So, we get back from a wonderful vacation and of course it gets me reflecting on everything....and I realize that over the years, I've focused on trying to do things right - that I've become complacent and I can't remember what it is that I've dreamed of doing. The hubs and I were talking about our goals and dreams, what legacy do we want to leave for our children, what do we want to create.
I could easily sell the house, pack up some things and start pursuing our dream, but I've lost sight of what our dream even is. So, I think it's time to focus on what it is we want to pursue and go after it...I don't want my kids to simply live day to day, working day to day, letting the hours turn into days and days into hours. I want them to live a beautiful life, see the world, recognize the beauty, enjoy nature and all that is out there. So often, we get trapped in the normalcy, the daily habits, but my goal is for that to change. I can't get over the changes we as a family have made in a year in regards to living a more healthy lifestyle, I'm ready for more changes, what that may be, I'm not sure. All I know is that I'm ready for things to fall into place.
I could give a list of excuses for not following our dreams, but the biggest has been out of fear - fear of the unknowns, fear of failure, fear that maybe I don't even know what it is I want.
What I do know is that I want something more, I look at the world and I see beauty and I've realized that I'm just out of sync and change in perspective is needed to see things differently and open the door to the possibilities.
"If we are ever to enjoy life, now is the time, not tomorrow or next year." ~Thomas Dreier
“We may place blame, give reasons, and even have excuses; but in the end, it is an act of cowardice to not follow your dreams.” - Steve Maraboli
The biggest thing I learned from this, was that some people welcomed the acts, some were not sure what to expect and others were willing to pass it along. I had ideas of what I wanted to do or accomplish, but what I found is that the most impacting acts were the ones that I did unexpectedly and it just felt right at the moment. So, I ended up tossing what I had planned and just did it when I felt it was the right time. We went on vacation and were at the beach and our kids were snorkeling. There were two local kids that tagged along with us and the one boy kept looking over at the mask, the kids let him borrow it and he jumped out of the water and was so excited. His reaction o being able to see underwater was priceless and I immediately thought, maybe we should give him the mask, but I didn't say anything because it was the kids gear. By the time we got back to the beach, the kids came up and asked if they could give the boy the mask. I told them it was up to them, but that I thought he would really enjoy it, so they did and he couldn't believe it. The kids said, "we just got you another item to add to your acts of kindness list."
So, we get back from a wonderful vacation and of course it gets me reflecting on everything....and I realize that over the years, I've focused on trying to do things right - that I've become complacent and I can't remember what it is that I've dreamed of doing. The hubs and I were talking about our goals and dreams, what legacy do we want to leave for our children, what do we want to create.
I could easily sell the house, pack up some things and start pursuing our dream, but I've lost sight of what our dream even is. So, I think it's time to focus on what it is we want to pursue and go after it...I don't want my kids to simply live day to day, working day to day, letting the hours turn into days and days into hours. I want them to live a beautiful life, see the world, recognize the beauty, enjoy nature and all that is out there. So often, we get trapped in the normalcy, the daily habits, but my goal is for that to change. I can't get over the changes we as a family have made in a year in regards to living a more healthy lifestyle, I'm ready for more changes, what that may be, I'm not sure. All I know is that I'm ready for things to fall into place.
I could give a list of excuses for not following our dreams, but the biggest has been out of fear - fear of the unknowns, fear of failure, fear that maybe I don't even know what it is I want.
What I do know is that I want something more, I look at the world and I see beauty and I've realized that I'm just out of sync and change in perspective is needed to see things differently and open the door to the possibilities.
"If we are ever to enjoy life, now is the time, not tomorrow or next year." ~Thomas Dreier
“We may place blame, give reasons, and even have excuses; but in the end, it is an act of cowardice to not follow your dreams.” - Steve Maraboli
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Kicking off the Randomness
February is my birthday month and I'm hitting a big number (at least for me it is a big number). It's smack in the middle of my thirties, no longer can I say I'm in my early thirties and now I am closer than ever creeping to my forties.
The weird thing is I'm not sad about growing older because I still feel young and I feel like I am healthier than I have ever been, so I'm not yearning for my younger years or nervously biting my nails with impending dread or denial as I age.
I don't yearn for those younger days because in all reality, I was insecure of myself for most of my teenage years clear till (speaking truthfully) when I became a mother. It was only then when my body experienced so many changes that I slowly was becoming more confident in who I was. As you age, you grow, and as you grow, you learn.
Here I am at a point in my life where I am completely comfortable with who I am and even comfortable in my own skin. I am happy and content with all that I have in my life, which I feel has only come with growing older. I have learned to let go of past hurts, because ultimately it takes up room in my heart and I want my heart to be full of joy instead of full of sorrow for things I can not change. And the biggest thing I have learned thus far is that really the only person you can change is yourself, if you are not happy, no one can change that but yourself.
What I'm still working on is slowing down, I see my children growing so quickly before my eyes and sometimes I wonder where did the time go? So, I'm trying (really trying) to enjoy each day as it comes because they say, the days are long, but the years are shorter and how true it is. So, I try not to feel guilty if I take some time to enjoy those life moments, but there are times when I definitely need reminders to stop and pause.
So, as I ramble on and get back to my post, last year as it dawned on me that I would be hitting 35, I thought how can I celebrate this birthday milestone? I don't need anything, and there isn't anything I want, so what can I do? Then I read about a lady who did acts of kindness and I thought how wonderful and so I jotted the idea down as a possibility.
And most recently a FB friend celebrated her birthday by completing acts of kindness as well, so I knew that this was something I wanted to do.
Everyday I feel blessed for all that I have, my children are healthy and so fun to be with, my partner is the greatest person I could ever share this journey with, and I have all that I could ever want.
Sometimes I wonder how did I become so deserving?
And so how I can I spread a little joy to others? Well my plan of attack is to try to accomplish 35 random acts of kindness by my birthday with the hopes of bringing a little joy to others.
I have somewhat of a limited budget, so I plan to do some things that will most likely require some money and other acts that are free.
Any thoughts or ideas you have, please feel free to give. At the end of my journey, I will post a recap of all the things I have done and anything I have learned from this.
And of course, I wouldn't be here without my parents, so I have to somehow think of something I can do for my parents that is different than stuff I have done before....
With today kicking off this project, I gave some money to the clerk at a local cafe after we paid for our lunch and I said to use it to the next persons purchase. He said, "really, great." Then about three minutes afterwards, a younger lady walked up to our table and said, "that was really kind of you, thank you so much."
I have some ideas of the next things I plan to do, just need to start acting on them.
“Your face is marked with lines of life, put there by love and laughter, suffering and tears. It's beautiful.” - Lynsay Sands
The weird thing is I'm not sad about growing older because I still feel young and I feel like I am healthier than I have ever been, so I'm not yearning for my younger years or nervously biting my nails with impending dread or denial as I age.
I don't yearn for those younger days because in all reality, I was insecure of myself for most of my teenage years clear till (speaking truthfully) when I became a mother. It was only then when my body experienced so many changes that I slowly was becoming more confident in who I was. As you age, you grow, and as you grow, you learn.
Here I am at a point in my life where I am completely comfortable with who I am and even comfortable in my own skin. I am happy and content with all that I have in my life, which I feel has only come with growing older. I have learned to let go of past hurts, because ultimately it takes up room in my heart and I want my heart to be full of joy instead of full of sorrow for things I can not change. And the biggest thing I have learned thus far is that really the only person you can change is yourself, if you are not happy, no one can change that but yourself.
What I'm still working on is slowing down, I see my children growing so quickly before my eyes and sometimes I wonder where did the time go? So, I'm trying (really trying) to enjoy each day as it comes because they say, the days are long, but the years are shorter and how true it is. So, I try not to feel guilty if I take some time to enjoy those life moments, but there are times when I definitely need reminders to stop and pause.
So, as I ramble on and get back to my post, last year as it dawned on me that I would be hitting 35, I thought how can I celebrate this birthday milestone? I don't need anything, and there isn't anything I want, so what can I do? Then I read about a lady who did acts of kindness and I thought how wonderful and so I jotted the idea down as a possibility.
And most recently a FB friend celebrated her birthday by completing acts of kindness as well, so I knew that this was something I wanted to do.
Everyday I feel blessed for all that I have, my children are healthy and so fun to be with, my partner is the greatest person I could ever share this journey with, and I have all that I could ever want.
Sometimes I wonder how did I become so deserving?
And so how I can I spread a little joy to others? Well my plan of attack is to try to accomplish 35 random acts of kindness by my birthday with the hopes of bringing a little joy to others.
I have somewhat of a limited budget, so I plan to do some things that will most likely require some money and other acts that are free.
Any thoughts or ideas you have, please feel free to give. At the end of my journey, I will post a recap of all the things I have done and anything I have learned from this.
And of course, I wouldn't be here without my parents, so I have to somehow think of something I can do for my parents that is different than stuff I have done before....
With today kicking off this project, I gave some money to the clerk at a local cafe after we paid for our lunch and I said to use it to the next persons purchase. He said, "really, great." Then about three minutes afterwards, a younger lady walked up to our table and said, "that was really kind of you, thank you so much."
I have some ideas of the next things I plan to do, just need to start acting on them.
“Your face is marked with lines of life, put there by love and laughter, suffering and tears. It's beautiful.” - Lynsay Sands
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Bring on the New Year.....
Well 2013 has left and a new year is upon us. Of course as I reflect on 2013, to sum it up in one word would be transformation, not just for me, but as a family too. We did a 100-day challenge to eat only whole foods (we wanted to limit the amount of processed foods we were eating). We not only accomplished the 100-day challenge, but we simply continued on...the kids didn't seem to notice and we just stuck with preparing real foods, eating more fresh fruit and veggies. We weren't doing this to lose weight, but as you read about the chemicals that are put into our foods and the problems associated, we wanted to become more aware of what we were putting into our bodies. My little man has eczema and since switching our diet, not only has the eczema calmed down, but his flare ups only occur once in a while, which is definitely an improvement from where it was. My skin has cleared up and I've dropped six pant sizes (I don't know how much weight as we don't have a scale). The hubbers has also dropped four pants sizes. The other transformation, which I have blogged about, was the act of letting go and enjoying the moment.
Sometimes we try so hard to make different relationships work because you think you should and it ends up causing more headaches and heartaches trying to force yourself to fit into a world you don't really belong. So, while on vacation in the beautiful Cayman Brac an "ah-ha" moment hit me and I gave myself permission to let go. Too often, we feel we must carry this weight of past hurt, past anger, resentment and we carry it, letting it shape us and our attitude and I let it go. Let go of the grudges, regrets, and left the hurts and disappointments behind. I came back refreshed and full of positive feelings and things have been for the better ever since. I'm almost a bit sad that 2013 is over because it was one of my best years, but I look to 2014 with excitement because I know that I am the one in control of my future and ultimately my happiness. And at the end of the day, I will always choose happiness and I hope happiness fills 2014 for you as well! Happy New Year!
I saw the below quote and had to share! Enjoy.....
"When you feel connected to and in harmony with the universal mind of intention, you’ll sense a major difference in how other people react to you. These reactions are important because they bear directly on your ability to fulfill your own individual intentions, your goals and dreams. The more closely you resonate with the frequencies of the universal all-creating Source, the more others will be impacted. They’ll gravitate toward you, bringing peace, joy, love, beauty, and abundance into your life. Here, in my opinion, are some of the ways in which you’ll impact others when you’re resonating with intention:
Your presence instills calmness.
When you coincide with intention, your impact on others has a calming influence. People tend to feel more at peace, less threatened, and more at ease. The power of intention is the power of love and receptivity. It asks nothing of anyone, it judges no one, and it encourages others to be free to be themselves. As people feel calmer in your presence, they’re inclined to feel safe, by virtue of the energy frequencies that you radiate. Their feelings are encouraged by your energy of love and receptivity, causing them to want to reach out and be with you.
Your presence leaves others feeling energized.
When you bring the frequencies of intention into the presence of others, they’ll feel energized just by being in your immediate circle. You don’t have to say a word. You don’t have to act in any prescribed fashion. Your energy of intention alone will make others in your field feel as if they’ve mysteriously been empowered. They’ll want to assist you in fulfilling your own dreams.
Your presence allows others to feel better about themselves.
Have you ever noticed when you’re in the presence of certain people that you feel better about yourself? Their compassionate energy has the noticeably pleasant impact of simply making you feel really good about yourself. You’ll impact others with this energy of compassion as you develop your connection to intention. People will sense that you care about them, understand them, and are interested in them as unique individuals.
Your presence allows others to feel unified.
The effect of being in the presence of people expressing high frequencies is to feel unified and connected to all of nature, all of humankind, and to intention. As you raise your frequencies, your impact on others invites them to be on the same team. You are unified and want to assist each other in the fulfillment of a common objective.
Your presence instills a sense of purpose.
When you’re in the higher spiritual energies, your presence and behavior from a space of love, acceptance, nonjudgment, and kindness becomes a catalyst for others to feel on purpose in their lives. By staying at the higher energies of optimism, forgiveness, understanding, reverence for Spirit, creativity, serenity, and bliss, you radiate this energy. The people around you begin to feel your quiet reverence and serenity. Your own purpose, which revolves around serving others and therefore serving God, becomes fulfilled, and as a bonus, you create allies.
Your presence allows others to trust in authentic personal connections.
By bringing the traits of intention to others, you allow trust to be present. You’ll notice both an inclination and a willingness on the part of others to open up and confide in you. This is related to the quality of trust. In the atmosphere of higher energy, people trust and want to share their personal stories with you.
Your presence inspires others to greatness.
When you’re connected to Spirit and quietly reflect this consciousness, you become a source of inspiration to others. In a sense, this is one of the most powerful effects that connecting to intention transmits to others. The word inspiration means “in-spirit.” The fact that you’re primarily in-spirit means that you inspire rather than inform with your
presence.
Your presence aligns others with beauty.
When you’re connected to intention, you see beauty everywhere and in everything because you’re radiating the quality of beauty. Your perceptual world changes dramatically. At the higher energy of intent, you see beauty in everyone, young or old, rich or poor, dark or light, with no distinctions. Everything is perceived from a perspective of appreciation rather than judgment. As you bring this feeling of
beauty appreciation to the presence of others, people are inclined to see themselves as you see them. They feel attractive and better about themselves. When people feel beautiful, they act in beautiful ways.
Your presence instills health rather than sickness.
Your connection to your Source keeps you focused on what you intend to manifest into your life, with no energy given to what you don’t want. This internal focus doesn’t permit you to complain about what ails you or to think about disease, pain, or any physical difficulties. Your energy is always on creating love, and expanding the perfection from which you originated." Wayne Dyer
Sometimes we try so hard to make different relationships work because you think you should and it ends up causing more headaches and heartaches trying to force yourself to fit into a world you don't really belong. So, while on vacation in the beautiful Cayman Brac an "ah-ha" moment hit me and I gave myself permission to let go. Too often, we feel we must carry this weight of past hurt, past anger, resentment and we carry it, letting it shape us and our attitude and I let it go. Let go of the grudges, regrets, and left the hurts and disappointments behind. I came back refreshed and full of positive feelings and things have been for the better ever since. I'm almost a bit sad that 2013 is over because it was one of my best years, but I look to 2014 with excitement because I know that I am the one in control of my future and ultimately my happiness. And at the end of the day, I will always choose happiness and I hope happiness fills 2014 for you as well! Happy New Year!
I saw the below quote and had to share! Enjoy.....
"When you feel connected to and in harmony with the universal mind of intention, you’ll sense a major difference in how other people react to you. These reactions are important because they bear directly on your ability to fulfill your own individual intentions, your goals and dreams. The more closely you resonate with the frequencies of the universal all-creating Source, the more others will be impacted. They’ll gravitate toward you, bringing peace, joy, love, beauty, and abundance into your life. Here, in my opinion, are some of the ways in which you’ll impact others when you’re resonating with intention:
Your presence instills calmness.
When you coincide with intention, your impact on others has a calming influence. People tend to feel more at peace, less threatened, and more at ease. The power of intention is the power of love and receptivity. It asks nothing of anyone, it judges no one, and it encourages others to be free to be themselves. As people feel calmer in your presence, they’re inclined to feel safe, by virtue of the energy frequencies that you radiate. Their feelings are encouraged by your energy of love and receptivity, causing them to want to reach out and be with you.
Your presence leaves others feeling energized.
When you bring the frequencies of intention into the presence of others, they’ll feel energized just by being in your immediate circle. You don’t have to say a word. You don’t have to act in any prescribed fashion. Your energy of intention alone will make others in your field feel as if they’ve mysteriously been empowered. They’ll want to assist you in fulfilling your own dreams.
Your presence allows others to feel better about themselves.
Have you ever noticed when you’re in the presence of certain people that you feel better about yourself? Their compassionate energy has the noticeably pleasant impact of simply making you feel really good about yourself. You’ll impact others with this energy of compassion as you develop your connection to intention. People will sense that you care about them, understand them, and are interested in them as unique individuals.
Your presence allows others to feel unified.
The effect of being in the presence of people expressing high frequencies is to feel unified and connected to all of nature, all of humankind, and to intention. As you raise your frequencies, your impact on others invites them to be on the same team. You are unified and want to assist each other in the fulfillment of a common objective.
Your presence instills a sense of purpose.
When you’re in the higher spiritual energies, your presence and behavior from a space of love, acceptance, nonjudgment, and kindness becomes a catalyst for others to feel on purpose in their lives. By staying at the higher energies of optimism, forgiveness, understanding, reverence for Spirit, creativity, serenity, and bliss, you radiate this energy. The people around you begin to feel your quiet reverence and serenity. Your own purpose, which revolves around serving others and therefore serving God, becomes fulfilled, and as a bonus, you create allies.
Your presence allows others to trust in authentic personal connections.
By bringing the traits of intention to others, you allow trust to be present. You’ll notice both an inclination and a willingness on the part of others to open up and confide in you. This is related to the quality of trust. In the atmosphere of higher energy, people trust and want to share their personal stories with you.
Your presence inspires others to greatness.
When you’re connected to Spirit and quietly reflect this consciousness, you become a source of inspiration to others. In a sense, this is one of the most powerful effects that connecting to intention transmits to others. The word inspiration means “in-spirit.” The fact that you’re primarily in-spirit means that you inspire rather than inform with your
presence.
Your presence aligns others with beauty.
When you’re connected to intention, you see beauty everywhere and in everything because you’re radiating the quality of beauty. Your perceptual world changes dramatically. At the higher energy of intent, you see beauty in everyone, young or old, rich or poor, dark or light, with no distinctions. Everything is perceived from a perspective of appreciation rather than judgment. As you bring this feeling of
beauty appreciation to the presence of others, people are inclined to see themselves as you see them. They feel attractive and better about themselves. When people feel beautiful, they act in beautiful ways.
Your presence instills health rather than sickness.
Your connection to your Source keeps you focused on what you intend to manifest into your life, with no energy given to what you don’t want. This internal focus doesn’t permit you to complain about what ails you or to think about disease, pain, or any physical difficulties. Your energy is always on creating love, and expanding the perfection from which you originated." Wayne Dyer
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