Thanksgiving is definitely a time to be reflective for what you have and indeed I am thankful everyday for what I have and who I am.
We took some food and pies down to the Fire/Police station in our city to say thanks for all they do. It was a small token of our appreciation, I don't put my life on the line for my job and sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the negativity that we forget that at the end of the day, we are all trying.
We then left and headed down to Honey Creek where we have been spending our thanksgivings for the last several years, this will be our fourth. It is a great time, the kids get to swim and the food is always good. This year we stayed in one of their cabins, which was nice. I've mentioned in my previous blogs that I would like a tiny home and while we were in the cabin, it was nice to hear from the kids and hubby that the cabin was plenty of room. The hub then measured it and we figured it was 875 sq ft, now this is not by any means considered "tiny," but for a family of four, there is no way we could move into one of those tiny homes where it is no more than 200 sq ft. Yet for me, hoping to downsize, I feel like it was a success to hear those words. We enjoyed our stay, the kids did snow angels in the freshly covered ground in their swimsuits and then came running into the cabin filled with laughter.
I have much to be thankful for - in the past two months some friends have lost loved ones - sisters, life partners, and it makes you appreciate even more how precious life is. I have my health, my children, my husband, and my family and friends. I'm tremendously grateful for all the blessings and experiences in my life that help shape me into the person I am.
Over the last few months, I've been reading several books, one of which is titled "The Joy of Living," and so far it has been a book that resonates with my heart and one that I have been trying to implement into my daily living. There have been a few passages that have had some type of impact for me, the first was "that there is only one possible motive behind someone's behavior: the desire to feel safe or happy. And if people say or do something hurtful, it is because they don't feel safe or happy."
Sometimes it is so hard for us to remember such a simple truth, but it is something I have been trying to remind myself when I find myself questioning certain behaviors and something I had to recently explain to my kids when their feelings were hurt by someone, having to explain that even though something horrible was said, they can't take it personally and they have to realize that something within that person brings them unhappiness (whether it is realized or not). I struggle with trying to remember this when they come to us and share their feelings because my initial feeling is anger, but then I try to focus on the bigger picture and see it for what it is, but trying to explain this can also be a challenge. So, I allow my kids to feel their emotion, but remind them that they have to be the rainbow in someone else's cloud, which Maya Angelou said at her speech at Drake University. When I asked my wee man if he said anything back, he said, "it was hard because I was so shocked and all I wanted to do was yell what is wrong with you and hit him, but I said nothing." And I told him he handled it perfectly. I have great kids and I can only hope that they grow into kind and generous individuals.
The other passage was.."is simply remember that the universe is filled with an infinite number of beings and to think, Just as I want happiness, all beings want happiness. Just as I wish to avoid suffering, all beings wish to avoid suffering. I am just one person, while the number of other beings is infinite. The well-being of this infinite number is more important than that of one." which I felt was appropriate to share on a day where we are reflective. I have an abundance of love that surrounds me and sometimes I feel how did I ever get so lucky when there are so many others that are more deserving or in need.
So, however you spend this day I hope it is joyful and full of many blessings!
“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Friday, November 7, 2014
Where the days may lead...
I think I posted earlier that we took our house off the market since we are going into colder months and I don't want to deal with any thought of a move during that time. And it is the best decision because we can't decide what that next step is going to be - both of us have different ideas of what that looks like.
I look at these brand new homes and think yes, those are nice and look at all the space and again think, yes it is nice, but it is not me. There is no character and honestly I don't want to spend the rest of my life paying a mortgage for a house, I don't want to work to live, I want to work to play.
I realize that our culture tells us from earlier on that there are steps to becoming an adult and as you grow and earn a bit more, your spending habits increase and you should upgrade your home, your belongings, etc...and at one time in my life I definitely wanted that dream. I wanted a big house to have dinner parties and entertain.
Yet, the older I become the more I realize how all those things for me are simply illusions. And I don't want that, I don't need a huge expensive home. What I do want is to live a more simple life and I know that means different things to different people.
For me, it means letting go of all the non-essential stuff and doing more of the things I love and living in a home that provides us exactly what we need, no more, no less....(do we need a bigger home when we don't even use the extra space in our current home? Do I really need the 10 pairs of boots in my closet) - No, so for me it means evaluating what is most important to me and getting rid of everything else. Getting rid of the clutter so I'm left with only the things have give meaning. Yet, I get overwhelmed because I walk into a room and have no idea where to begin.
The goal for me is to start this process by looking at all my commitments (work, family, hobbies, volunteer projects, home, etc) and identifying what needs to stay and consider what is in line with my priorities and values and start to eliminate those that don't. Obviously, I need to work, and I do love what I do, so for me, my current job situation aligns nicely with my life priorities, but some of my commitments I took on thinking it was important, but have realized it is energy draining and I'm ready to let it go. I'll finish with my commitments, but will not renew any future commitment.
The other goal I have is for us as a family to start working on one room at a time and identifying the items that give us meaning and those that don't and being decluttering.
I don't know where this journey will take me, but I see friends lose family members, I see my children get older, I know I'm getting older and I realize the things I cherish the most are all the experiences I have with my friends, my family - the laughter between friends, the joy of watching a rugby game with your family, the peacefulness you feel when you are surrounded by nature, the intimate kiss with the person you love - that is what I want.
I've realized that if I were to leave this world tomorrow, the impact I have on my spouse or children is not what I have provided them in things, but the emotional support I have given them, the memories I have created. Realizing that tomorrow is not promised, I want more experiences, I want more memories to create. And I'd rather work really hard to live a simply life that lets me travel and see and do the things I want than work really hard to pay for a mortgage for the rest of my life, but I also realize I have a spouse and children to consider. So, is there idea the same as mine? No, not really - my sweet pea keeps insisting that our next house be a two-story home, my wee man - he says he doesn't care so long as he can take his legos. My hub - he wants land and a nice home, but is open...he doesn't want a tiny house because he knew I was going to suggest that after watching "Tiny" (knows me to well that man of mine)...so for now, I'll be patient and flexible and start with my winter plan of decluttering because at the end of the day, I am happy and content and I know I have everything I need.
“...there are often many things we feel we should do that, in fact, we don't really have to do. Getting to the point where we can tell the difference is a major milestone in the simplification process.”- Elaine St. James
I look at these brand new homes and think yes, those are nice and look at all the space and again think, yes it is nice, but it is not me. There is no character and honestly I don't want to spend the rest of my life paying a mortgage for a house, I don't want to work to live, I want to work to play.
I realize that our culture tells us from earlier on that there are steps to becoming an adult and as you grow and earn a bit more, your spending habits increase and you should upgrade your home, your belongings, etc...and at one time in my life I definitely wanted that dream. I wanted a big house to have dinner parties and entertain.
Yet, the older I become the more I realize how all those things for me are simply illusions. And I don't want that, I don't need a huge expensive home. What I do want is to live a more simple life and I know that means different things to different people.
For me, it means letting go of all the non-essential stuff and doing more of the things I love and living in a home that provides us exactly what we need, no more, no less....(do we need a bigger home when we don't even use the extra space in our current home? Do I really need the 10 pairs of boots in my closet) - No, so for me it means evaluating what is most important to me and getting rid of everything else. Getting rid of the clutter so I'm left with only the things have give meaning. Yet, I get overwhelmed because I walk into a room and have no idea where to begin.
The goal for me is to start this process by looking at all my commitments (work, family, hobbies, volunteer projects, home, etc) and identifying what needs to stay and consider what is in line with my priorities and values and start to eliminate those that don't. Obviously, I need to work, and I do love what I do, so for me, my current job situation aligns nicely with my life priorities, but some of my commitments I took on thinking it was important, but have realized it is energy draining and I'm ready to let it go. I'll finish with my commitments, but will not renew any future commitment.
The other goal I have is for us as a family to start working on one room at a time and identifying the items that give us meaning and those that don't and being decluttering.
I don't know where this journey will take me, but I see friends lose family members, I see my children get older, I know I'm getting older and I realize the things I cherish the most are all the experiences I have with my friends, my family - the laughter between friends, the joy of watching a rugby game with your family, the peacefulness you feel when you are surrounded by nature, the intimate kiss with the person you love - that is what I want.
I've realized that if I were to leave this world tomorrow, the impact I have on my spouse or children is not what I have provided them in things, but the emotional support I have given them, the memories I have created. Realizing that tomorrow is not promised, I want more experiences, I want more memories to create. And I'd rather work really hard to live a simply life that lets me travel and see and do the things I want than work really hard to pay for a mortgage for the rest of my life, but I also realize I have a spouse and children to consider. So, is there idea the same as mine? No, not really - my sweet pea keeps insisting that our next house be a two-story home, my wee man - he says he doesn't care so long as he can take his legos. My hub - he wants land and a nice home, but is open...he doesn't want a tiny house because he knew I was going to suggest that after watching "Tiny" (knows me to well that man of mine)...so for now, I'll be patient and flexible and start with my winter plan of decluttering because at the end of the day, I am happy and content and I know I have everything I need.
“...there are often many things we feel we should do that, in fact, we don't really have to do. Getting to the point where we can tell the difference is a major milestone in the simplification process.”- Elaine St. James
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Amazing Game
This past weekend, we went to Chicago to watch the test match rugby game between the USA Eagles and the NZ All Blacks and what a fantastic game. The All Blacks dominated the game, but that was no surprise, I anticipated a clear win. The kids enjoyed the game, both of them were on their chairs screaming and cheering. My wee man has yet to stop talking about the game. The American team played with all their hearts and they played well - what I enjoyed was the crowds. I didn't hear any booing or name calling, it was just a great crowd enjoying this opportunity to see the world class team. Solider Field was sold out - 62000 fans enjoying a rugby game. I felt somewhat torn as I have dual citizenship with USA and NZ and I think what I enjoyed most about the game was hearing the New Zealand national anthem being sung on US soil and then in turn singing the US national anthem - for me it was an awesome moment.
My mum got a bit emotional hearing the New Zealand anthem being sung in Maori - she wasn't expecting that and I think it ties you back home, which at least that is how I felt. I've spend much of my life living in the US and I love living here, but at times my heart and soul yearn for New Zealand and I can't explain it. I've always felt torn between two places, lost not quite fitting in one or the other. When we left and I knew it would be a long time till I returned, I've always had an absence in my heart - a tug to go back to New Zealand and thankfully I've married someone who would move there and we have discussed it. I have my NZ passport ready in case I do see a job opportunity and definitely have and would consider the move there, but it is such a big move.
I hesitate to do it to my children. Not because they wouldn't adjust, I know they would love it and enjoy it, but I grew up not being close to my extended family (my dad's and my mum's) and it is hard - no matter how hard you try, you can't replace those bonds with grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles. Which is kind of ironic and sad because we have essentially no relationship with certain parts of the extended family, so it shouldn't matter, but I guess it boils down to I stay because my kids have relationships with their grandparents, and I hate the idea of taking that away regardless of how often they see any of their grandparents.
In today's digital environment, I know that they would still have a relationship and I still had a relationship with my relatives, but you lose a connection and so when my cousin or family comes to visit from New Zealand, I light up because it reminds me of home and everything good that I still hold on to - for me that connection is deep and when I'm close to reminders of home, a part of me feels restored.
We are trying to plan for a trip to New Zealand with the kids and it will be stretch to send four people over there, but I want them to see it, experience it and then maybe we can discuss moving after they have been there.
Anyway, I was glad to witness this great sporting event and be part of the many fans cheering on the greatest team ever. I hope that Americans got a taste for rugby and it makes them want to see more of the USA Eagles - it would be good to see more rugby being broadcasted, not just because of the All Blacks, but because it is a great sport to watch.
My mum got a bit emotional hearing the New Zealand anthem being sung in Maori - she wasn't expecting that and I think it ties you back home, which at least that is how I felt. I've spend much of my life living in the US and I love living here, but at times my heart and soul yearn for New Zealand and I can't explain it. I've always felt torn between two places, lost not quite fitting in one or the other. When we left and I knew it would be a long time till I returned, I've always had an absence in my heart - a tug to go back to New Zealand and thankfully I've married someone who would move there and we have discussed it. I have my NZ passport ready in case I do see a job opportunity and definitely have and would consider the move there, but it is such a big move.
I hesitate to do it to my children. Not because they wouldn't adjust, I know they would love it and enjoy it, but I grew up not being close to my extended family (my dad's and my mum's) and it is hard - no matter how hard you try, you can't replace those bonds with grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles. Which is kind of ironic and sad because we have essentially no relationship with certain parts of the extended family, so it shouldn't matter, but I guess it boils down to I stay because my kids have relationships with their grandparents, and I hate the idea of taking that away regardless of how often they see any of their grandparents.
In today's digital environment, I know that they would still have a relationship and I still had a relationship with my relatives, but you lose a connection and so when my cousin or family comes to visit from New Zealand, I light up because it reminds me of home and everything good that I still hold on to - for me that connection is deep and when I'm close to reminders of home, a part of me feels restored.
We are trying to plan for a trip to New Zealand with the kids and it will be stretch to send four people over there, but I want them to see it, experience it and then maybe we can discuss moving after they have been there.
Anyway, I was glad to witness this great sporting event and be part of the many fans cheering on the greatest team ever. I hope that Americans got a taste for rugby and it makes them want to see more of the USA Eagles - it would be good to see more rugby being broadcasted, not just because of the All Blacks, but because it is a great sport to watch.
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