First Crushes and More.....

I had a great conversation with my kiddos last night - we talked about life for an 8 year old and 9 year old and lessons I want them to always remember. You see, when I picked up my sweet pea from school yesterday, she was excited and just carried herself a little differently that afternoon. So, of course, I pry and she informs me that she left a note inside the locker of whom she has a crush on. I said did you sign the note? And she looks at me like I'm crazy and as a matter of factly states...."no of course not, but I did tell him to guess."
She said she felt so great that she finally worked up the courage to do it and so I reminded her that she was great regardless of whether this boy felt the same way or not. She said she knew and said she didn't care if he did like her back. And as a mom, I don't want to encourage crushes nor discourage it either because I clearly remember my first crush, but part of me wants to avoid the subject all together. I think it is just the mere reminder that they are growing older and as sweet as first crushes seem, I know there will be others and I know that at some point, there will be tears, but I didn't - knowing that both my kids have crushes on individuals, I decided to just listen. I stopped asking questions and I just listened as they shared their thoughts with me.
After I knew they were done, we talked about respect and knowing that it's okay to have crushes and it's okay if these people like us back or not like us back. I then shared my first crush with them and as they asked questions, we spoke and towards the end of the conversation I told them five things that I wanted them to remember, not about crushes, but about qualities within that I see growing....I told them that this was not advice, but merely things I recognized in them that I appreciated and loved.....

1. Always Be You - My daughter questions EVERY thing, which sometimes drives me up the wall, I told her that asking questions is good, you learn invaluable things by asking and observing. I told her that it was only until I was older that I felt it was okay to question things and that it takes a strong sense of self and that regardless of what may come her way, to stay true to who she is. I told her that her confidence at 9 is something I didn't have till I was an adult.  I informed her that it is a the way we ask questions that enable us to grow. My wee man, he is my sensitive soul - like me, I believe he is an empath. He feels everything, hurts easily and also loves easily. He is most forgiving and is always thinking of others. I told him that sometimes he will feel isolated, but being sensitive means you have a huge heart and that you're not afraid to show your emotions. 
2. Find time to laugh - as they get older and as school progresses, I see that sometimes they get frustrated with various things - I told them that when they find that they are stressed or upset about something to find something that will make them laugh. Laughter is infectious and regardless of how upset or mad you may be at the time, when you start laughing instantly you feel better. I told them that if they need me to do something silly, if it will get them to laugh, I have no issues doing it!
3. Be Kind - there will always be mean people regardless of where you go - it took me a while to realize it, but people who are mean are most often lacking something in their own life. So be kind, it may not make a difference to that mean person, but people will always remember how you treat them, not by what you said. I also said, being kind doesn't mean you have to give in or even be nice - it means that even in disagreements you are showing politeness towards others. I reminded my daughter that to remember to be kind in your words when she questions things.  
4. It's okay if someone doesn't like you or if you don't like someone back - both of you will go through life and meet many people, some of them will like you, some of them may not and you in turn may not like that person and this is okay. As long as you follow number 3, it's okay. 
5. Be Courageous - It may scare you at first, but it leaves a lasting impression and sometimes could change your future. I told them that after the hubby and I met, I was the first one to call him, had I not had the courage to do so, I could have been waiting for his call. I reminded them that have courage also means to never be afraid to stand up for yourself or stand up for others - sometimes it may be hard to do this especially, but too often if we allow bad behavior or treatment to continue even when we know it is wrong it will only continue to grow or get worse. 

I love my little family - I love listening to their worldly ideas, there thoughts about the future and they know that I will always be honest with them. As a parent you hope and pray that you are providing the right tools to your children so they can navigate the world on their own and that is my hope. To walk gently upon this world, but for them to make their mark in their own way.

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there.
It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.”  - Ray Bradbury