12 Years 12 Dozen

We recently celebrated our twelfth wedding anniversary and I was greeted with 12 dozen roses the night before. You see, the hubs scheduled his annual creek clean-up event on our anniversary, and as often as he apologized, it never was an issue for me.  So, on that morning as he was thanking the volunteers, he called me out and informed everyone it was our anniversary and how thankful he is that I allow him to spend our day out here picking up trash. I immediately became uncomfortable because I hate attention and teary-eyed because I actually enjoy the creek clean-up and events like these are such a part of our lives that what else would we do?
He then surprised me with dinner plans later that evening at one of my favorite restaurants and part of me felt bad because I didn't plan a single thing. I did surprise  him with a gift, but I assumed we would be so tired after the clean-up that if we did dinner, it would be with the kids and just tossing some things together, so I felt spoiled. He also surprised me by having my wedding bands redesigned, I'm nervous because my rings have been a part of me for 12 years, but I'm excited to see what the design will be.  He definitely was full of surprises this year. 
As the years go by, you think marriage wouldn't be a surprise any more, and the more I realize how marriage constantly changes...you are never prepared for the journey it takes you. After several years, I think it will just get easier (and some years it is), but then sometimes it is harder and so you have to find a balance of what is working and what's not.
I keep trying to think that after twelve years I would have some grand knowledge, but I don't. We have our problems, our issues, our insecurities that come and go regardless of how long we have been together. Of course I get mad at him, he gets mad at me, but over these years I see the both of us changing and growing from the young kids we were and how life is shaping us. We change and I think that is important, if we refused to grow and change from who we were 12 years ago, then of course things would be hard. And I'm glad that I have someone who is willing to be part of my life and grow with me.
What I have learned is that marriage is all about giving because regardless of the issues or things going on, it is a constant giving by both individuals and it never ends, and sometimes it is not always 50/50....that's right, sometimes over the course of different periods in our life one of us is giving more than the other and that will always be the case, but as long as we are team and both support what is going on, it works. And the other thing I look at, is at the end of the day, who do I want standing next to me in this journey of life and always it is my love. When we were at dinner, I said, "does it really seem like 12 years, because I feel like it hasn't been that long?" He responded that indeed it doesn't....then I said something like, I don't know if that is good or bad and we laughed.
I've ever grateful for this man and love him more than I could ever express. He really makes me feel as if there is nothing that we can't do. I think of what we have accomplished in these short 12 years that I can't wait for what's in store......




“I told you. You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand.” - LJ Smith


“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
― Khalil Gibran

Wilderness Awe

"The mountains are calling and I must go," said John Muir and I know it well. I feel it in the depths of my soul when I'm in Aotearoa and when I hit a landscape that reminds of home, it calls and pulls at my heart.
We decided at the last minute to take the kids on one last summer adventure before school started. So we knew we would drive and since we went to Niagara Falls last summer we decided to head West to Colorado.
I have been there via the Denver airport, but that was it - we were going to go for my graduation ceremony, but it was the middle of winter and driving didn't seem like a good idea at the time, so we didn't attend the ceremony, other than the glimpse I had seen from the airport windows, that was my experience. Hubby had been as a kid, skiing with his dad. I was excited to see the Rocky Mountains.
So, we jumped in the car and drove West and our first stop was Estes Park to the Rocky Mountain National Park. We stopped and did some very basic, very easy hiking and at first the kids were all game and then as we continued on the Rocky Mountain Trail Ridge Road and would stop, hike some more, the kids got tired, antsy and complain. We eventually told them that when they got older and had kids of their own, they could take this same trek and tell their kids the story of when mom and dad forced them to climb this trail and how horrible it was, but how much they loved it once they got to the top, they didn't like that and informed us that they would carry their kids. I said remind me of this conversation in twenty or so years.
The Trail Ridge Road was breathtaking, we saw some Elk and it is just amazing and I'm so grateful that we still have places that are not developed and are left for generations to come and enjoy this piece of nature, wilderness.

From there we headed to Breckenridge where we got to relax a bit and hit the Alpine Slide. You get to take the chair lift to the top of the mountain and then sit on a plastic sled type thing (it does have a brake) and then slide down to the bottom via some twists and turns down the mountain. It was more fun than I had anticipated and the kids just had a blast.



Then it was on to one of the places that I have always wanted to visit - Mesa Verde National Park where the cliff dwellings are. And wow, I was not expecting to feel what I felt - it was amazing. Rocky Mountain National Park was beautiful, but Mesa Verde - is special - there is something inherently remarkable about the land, that it draws you in, wanting more. We took two tours - one at Cliff Palace and the other at Balcony House. Right before we were getting ready to leave, we stopped to take a photo and I saw a man walking by, I smiled, he smiled and I said, "this is beautiful, I'm in awe." He stopped and started to speak and informed us that just a few steps over was the reservation side of the park....he was part of the Ute Native Indian tribe and part of the park belongs to them. He pointed to a direction and said that some members sell fry bread, jewelry and things over there and we should stop by. And then he said that visitors are not allowed within the reservation side without a member of the tribe. I told him that I was just taking a photo here and would not disrespect the grounds - he then came closer and said, come with me.
He then lead us through a closed road and into the reservation side - he said the view is better here and took us for a short walk directly atop a cliff and he was right, the view was stunning.
I was quickly overcome with emotion and thanked him for this amazing moment.  All of us stood there for a bit in silence, just listening....you could hear the ravens.
We headed back and he told us about the Ute Native Indian tribe and some history, and some of what they believe about the cliff dwellings.
We parted and I hugged him - I felt close to him in those brief moments. I'm sure if we were to go back, I would want to visit the Ute Mountain Tribal Park.





Our final stop before heading home was in Pagosa Springs. We were going to head straight home from Mesa Verde, but decided as we were approaching Pagosa Springs to stop and enjoy soaking in the hot pools.  So we did, we capped off our summer trip with a nice soak in the hot springs and reflected on the last few days.

Sometimes I get sad because of what we are doing to this earth and how little we appreciate the gifts that this land truly is, but then I'm hopeful that my children will see these amazing places and be inspired to preserve what we are not, to cherish these sacred lands. 
I love being in nature, feeling the ground beneath, it makes you realize how small you really are and it really makes you appreciate the land for what it is, the simple beauty that is. It makes you pause and even if it is for a moment, reflect on something greater - connected to all things.

"So extraordinary is Nature with her choicest treasures, spending plant beauty as she spends sunshine, pouring it forth into land and sea, garden and desert. And so the beauty of lilies falls on angels and men, bears and squirrels, wolves and sheep, birds and bees...." - John Muir

Mom's Night Out...

Monday night is just as good as any night for a mom's night out....I was invited to get some dinner and enjoy some drinks with a friend and her friend, whom I had not met before.
It's always a little unnerving meeting other women, especially when you don't them and I think it is because for the most part, we've been brought up in asociety where females tend to compete with one another. I enjoyed hanging with these women because sometimes when you get in a group of different women, somewhere in the conversation negative stereotypes pop up, self-criticism comes in or other negative attitudes arise and what I found was none of those popped up in our conversations. It didn't become a "bitchfest" at all and not that all girls night turn into that, it was just refreshing.
And what a great night it was...it wasn't too long before the stories started to go around, lots of laughs, and even some swearing was tossed around. It was a great evening and it was great to be surrounded with such empowering women. I was just grateful to enjoy the night for what it was. I don't get out for many "Girls or Moms" nights, not because I don't want too, but it seems our schedules are so busy that I can't make it and often what results is people stop asking, but as I was thinking this morning, I realized I really need to make more time for those evenings. I didn't realize how much I miss it till now.....

Thank you ladies for including me in your night!


"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass." - Maya Angelou.