Well it has been one hell of a year, I'm sad to say good-bye, but always looking forward to new beginnings, which 2012 brings and I know that it will only get better.
Of course the end of the year it is always a good time to reflect and I have to say overall 2011 was a GREAT year in all aspects of my life. I've been trying to refocus my energy with a more positive attitude and started visualizing what I wanted in life, so when I looked back at my post from last year, I was quite surprised.
Here is the link to last year's post, if you are so inclined to read it. After reading it, it really didn't dawn on me all the progress I made on a emotional level. Of course, there are still days that are harder than others, but I don't let it get to me like before. I create my happiness and how I react to situations, no one else is responsible for that and that realization has greatly changed my life.
I have big plans for 2012 and have no doubt that I will reach those goals, it may not happen in one year, but it will happen. There is the saying, that everyday is an opportunity and as simple as that saying is, the reality is huge once you realize that all that is holding you back is yourself.
I refuse to carry any one's baggage and as far as mending any relationships with certain people in my life, I've opened the doors, but I can't force anyone to walk in. I can't change anyone or their views, I can only change how I interact with them.
So, here is to 2012....I look forward to new beginnings and a few challenges tossed in, just to keep things interesting of course. May your new year be blessed!
"Today is going to be most difficult and challenging. Today I will face my fears and stand up for what I believe is right. Today my noble and selfless acts will be accused of cruel and greedy intentions. No matter what the outcome, I will be stronger, my family will be closer, and I will finally have the closure that I have been seeking for so many years." - Unknown
Friday, December 30, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
On the Eve of the Eve.....
I've been sending thoughts and prayers to family in Christchurch, they were hit with four earthquakes yesterday, most of the repairs that the city and residents have been making since the February one are now gone. My heart breaks for the city and I wonder what the future holds for this beloved city. Kia Kaha Christchurch!
So, on the eve of the eve, shopping is complete, presents are wrapped and tucked under the tree, oh what a relief. And I have to admit that I've never felt more at ease than presently, I've not let a thing bother me. I typically get all anxious and worked-up during the holidays, but I'm actually enjoying everything around me, it is a nice change. Part of me thinks it is because the weather has been so mild lately and typically I get a nice helping of seasonal depression, but the weather has been great.
I've also realized that I am only responsible for my feelings, no one else is and I can choose to hold on to hurts and grudges or let it go. And granted I'm still working on all of this, but I realize that life is too short and I need to focus on the people that are around us versus those who choose not to be a part of our lives while at the same time not being a doormat. I'm not going to apologize for the sake of apologizing. Negative attracts negative and positive attracts positive, therefore I am living in the positive.
On another note I am however, beginning to lose my voice, some days are worse than others, but I'm hoping it won't last long. Although, I'm sure my kids would probably enjoy me not talking or telling them to pick up, pick up, tidy your room. Though I was getting some weird looks as the store clerk was ringing up my groceries, made me conscience enough to say, "I'm losing my voice" as I wanted to say, go suck it pixie head.
I've also been trying to swear less in front of the kiddies, I have a horrible potty mouth sometimes and lately the kids will point it out when I say a bad word, so I've been trying my best.
I didn't tell them I was thinking of substitute words and we were heading to school and the parking lot of the school drives me up the wall, so I blurted out you silly turtle ducker and the kids looked at each other and then roared with laughter. I decided these substitutes were much better.
"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” - Dr. Seuss
So, on the eve of the eve, shopping is complete, presents are wrapped and tucked under the tree, oh what a relief. And I have to admit that I've never felt more at ease than presently, I've not let a thing bother me. I typically get all anxious and worked-up during the holidays, but I'm actually enjoying everything around me, it is a nice change. Part of me thinks it is because the weather has been so mild lately and typically I get a nice helping of seasonal depression, but the weather has been great.
I've also realized that I am only responsible for my feelings, no one else is and I can choose to hold on to hurts and grudges or let it go. And granted I'm still working on all of this, but I realize that life is too short and I need to focus on the people that are around us versus those who choose not to be a part of our lives while at the same time not being a doormat. I'm not going to apologize for the sake of apologizing. Negative attracts negative and positive attracts positive, therefore I am living in the positive.
On another note I am however, beginning to lose my voice, some days are worse than others, but I'm hoping it won't last long. Although, I'm sure my kids would probably enjoy me not talking or telling them to pick up, pick up, tidy your room. Though I was getting some weird looks as the store clerk was ringing up my groceries, made me conscience enough to say, "I'm losing my voice" as I wanted to say, go suck it pixie head.
I've also been trying to swear less in front of the kiddies, I have a horrible potty mouth sometimes and lately the kids will point it out when I say a bad word, so I've been trying my best.
I didn't tell them I was thinking of substitute words and we were heading to school and the parking lot of the school drives me up the wall, so I blurted out you silly turtle ducker and the kids looked at each other and then roared with laughter. I decided these substitutes were much better.
"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” - Dr. Seuss
Little Hands....
So the kids have made all their crafts for the holidays and presents they are giving out. We've made gingerbread ornaments and a "little hand" craft, which I recently saw on Pinterest and also on a friends Facebook page.
We added some different elements, but overall I'm happy with how they came out and the kids had fund tracing each others hand and cutting it out.
"Facing a mirror you see merely your own countenance; facing your child you finally understand how everyone else has seen you." - Daniel Raeburn
We added some different elements, but overall I'm happy with how they came out and the kids had fund tracing each others hand and cutting it out.
"Facing a mirror you see merely your own countenance; facing your child you finally understand how everyone else has seen you." - Daniel Raeburn
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Christmas Countdown
Yes, it is upon us...Christmas time...the kids have their last day of school before winter break tomorrow. Tonight, we took part in my little man's first piano recital. He started lessons in October and he played "O Christmas Tree," he did good for his first performance.
It was funny because prior to going, he asked if he could get a "sports coat" like daddy. So, we looked for a jacket and thankfully found one that was even on clearance. His eyes lit up and he had the biggest grin on his face!
His recital was short and it was great to see all the kids at varying degrees of piano talent and I was so proud to see him up there doing his best.
We also won the holiday "lighting" contest in our neighborhood, which was an unexpected, but nice surprise.
I'm looking forward to Christmas, this year I tried to focus on something the kids are interested in and get things that help foster that interest, so I think I am just as excited for Christmas as the kids are. In the past, the holiday times tend to come with some drama, but I'm happy to report that this year we have had none.
I've had many breakthroughs this year and taking control of my emotions and what bothers me or what doesn't helps. Deciding what I want and focusing on what I'm grateful for has definitely moved things in a more positive direction. I've stopped focusing on what is lacking and instead creating what I want and I'm refusing to let negative thoughts and energy come into my life.
“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
It was funny because prior to going, he asked if he could get a "sports coat" like daddy. So, we looked for a jacket and thankfully found one that was even on clearance. His eyes lit up and he had the biggest grin on his face!
His recital was short and it was great to see all the kids at varying degrees of piano talent and I was so proud to see him up there doing his best.
We also won the holiday "lighting" contest in our neighborhood, which was an unexpected, but nice surprise.I'm looking forward to Christmas, this year I tried to focus on something the kids are interested in and get things that help foster that interest, so I think I am just as excited for Christmas as the kids are. In the past, the holiday times tend to come with some drama, but I'm happy to report that this year we have had none.
I've had many breakthroughs this year and taking control of my emotions and what bothers me or what doesn't helps. Deciding what I want and focusing on what I'm grateful for has definitely moved things in a more positive direction. I've stopped focusing on what is lacking and instead creating what I want and I'm refusing to let negative thoughts and energy come into my life.
“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
A house full of cookies....
So, we are in the midst of December and of course baking has taken over in our house. Over the weekend, I hosted a Ugly Sweater Cookie Swap, which I think was fun. We had a ton of cookies and I asked the guests to bring at least 5 dozen cookies and then they got to take home several dozen cookies from the various cookies that were available. It was a good time.
This weekend we are also making swirl-a-ball ornaments to give away. You take clear ornament balls, get some tempera paint mix with some water and then use eye droppers to put into the ornament and swirl the paint inside the ornaments, which makes neat swirly designs.
On on completely different topic, I'm watching "Waiting on Superman," and it is hard to watch without really getting upset to think where we are with the education of our children. We are quickly slipping behind and we are allowing it to happen. Every child deserves the best education and we tell our children to believe and that they can accomplish anything as long as they get an education, but then we can't even give them an education that they deserve. What is it going to take to really change the system, because it is clear that our focus isn't on the children, the system is broken.
I'm thankful that my children are where they are.....and I fully am aware of that. Education should not be to recall a list of facts, words or any other useless information, it should be stimulating and engaging so that it moves to our long-term memory rather than short term.
This weekend we are also making swirl-a-ball ornaments to give away. You take clear ornament balls, get some tempera paint mix with some water and then use eye droppers to put into the ornament and swirl the paint inside the ornaments, which makes neat swirly designs.
On on completely different topic, I'm watching "Waiting on Superman," and it is hard to watch without really getting upset to think where we are with the education of our children. We are quickly slipping behind and we are allowing it to happen. Every child deserves the best education and we tell our children to believe and that they can accomplish anything as long as they get an education, but then we can't even give them an education that they deserve. What is it going to take to really change the system, because it is clear that our focus isn't on the children, the system is broken.
I'm thankful that my children are where they are.....and I fully am aware of that. Education should not be to recall a list of facts, words or any other useless information, it should be stimulating and engaging so that it moves to our long-term memory rather than short term.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Crafts and Things.......
I attempted to make a yarn wreath several days ago. It was pretty painless, not entirely time-consuming, somewhat relaxing, and easy. I selected some multicolored yarn from the local craft store along with a wreath and got busy. Not bad for my first attempt - I decided to hang it in front of one our windows in the living room.
This weekend, the kids and I are going to attempt to make yarn balls and from what I've read is pretty messy, which is why I thought the kids would enjoy it. I'm pretty excited to give it a stab. We shall see how it all turns out!
The kids also received their annual letter from Father Christmas and keeping track of how well the kids have been behaving. I told the kids a while back that the cameras you see in stores, etc....are called "Santa Cams" and that is how Santa keeps track of every one's behavior throughout the year, when my kids begin to act out, I simply point to one of the cameras, this has been working well and works year round, however, I'm not sure what is going to happen when my children are older, but I suppose by then my kids should know better than to bicker in public.
And speaking of Christmas, last night we were talking about what is on their lists and my little man, looks at me all serious-faced and says, "do you really think Santa will bring me 30 packets of honey" and I said we shall see as I thought, honey, really? (My son has actually requested manuka honey from New Zealand, which may be hard for Santa to acquire)
The kids had their school auction last weekend, we walked away with some tickets to the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago, a card basket, movie ticket with candy basket, books, and are splitting a lake cabin with some friends for a week.
We made and donated a rain barrel and two wine "tiki" torches with the citronella. The school sent out final numbers of what was raised, but it was just recently updated with proceeds from the bake sale and remaining items that needed to be paid and the money raised was $15, 387 - I think that is pretty impressive for a school our size. Most of the money will be used to help fund another classroom for next year as well as supplies for teachers. It is always a fun time, I helped checking people in this year, but I think I will help with set-up next time.
I'm also reading a book titled, Montessori Madness by Trevor Eissler, I've just started reading it, but so far I enjoy it. I continue to write letters to the Governor's office, but I definitely think we need more public Montessori schools not only in this state, but in the United States or at least there needs to be more choices for parents than what is currently offered. I'm currently on the part about what is going wrong in schools today and it reminds me of the other book I read and have mentioned, The Art of Learning and Forgetting by Frank Smith. Both great reads for parents!
I've also started a new writing project....I won't go into many details as I'm still sketching ideas about, but it is a great start so far.
“Books fall open, you fall in. When you climb out again, you're a bit larger than you used to be." Gregory Maguire
This weekend, the kids and I are going to attempt to make yarn balls and from what I've read is pretty messy, which is why I thought the kids would enjoy it. I'm pretty excited to give it a stab. We shall see how it all turns out!
The kids also received their annual letter from Father Christmas and keeping track of how well the kids have been behaving. I told the kids a while back that the cameras you see in stores, etc....are called "Santa Cams" and that is how Santa keeps track of every one's behavior throughout the year, when my kids begin to act out, I simply point to one of the cameras, this has been working well and works year round, however, I'm not sure what is going to happen when my children are older, but I suppose by then my kids should know better than to bicker in public.
And speaking of Christmas, last night we were talking about what is on their lists and my little man, looks at me all serious-faced and says, "do you really think Santa will bring me 30 packets of honey" and I said we shall see as I thought, honey, really? (My son has actually requested manuka honey from New Zealand, which may be hard for Santa to acquire)
The kids had their school auction last weekend, we walked away with some tickets to the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago, a card basket, movie ticket with candy basket, books, and are splitting a lake cabin with some friends for a week.
We made and donated a rain barrel and two wine "tiki" torches with the citronella. The school sent out final numbers of what was raised, but it was just recently updated with proceeds from the bake sale and remaining items that needed to be paid and the money raised was $15, 387 - I think that is pretty impressive for a school our size. Most of the money will be used to help fund another classroom for next year as well as supplies for teachers. It is always a fun time, I helped checking people in this year, but I think I will help with set-up next time.
I'm also reading a book titled, Montessori Madness by Trevor Eissler, I've just started reading it, but so far I enjoy it. I continue to write letters to the Governor's office, but I definitely think we need more public Montessori schools not only in this state, but in the United States or at least there needs to be more choices for parents than what is currently offered. I'm currently on the part about what is going wrong in schools today and it reminds me of the other book I read and have mentioned, The Art of Learning and Forgetting by Frank Smith. Both great reads for parents!
I've also started a new writing project....I won't go into many details as I'm still sketching ideas about, but it is a great start so far.
“Books fall open, you fall in. When you climb out again, you're a bit larger than you used to be." Gregory Maguire
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Reflecting on my dad.....
With Veteran's day tomorrow, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on my dad and the commitment he made to his country. He served 26 years in the U.S. Navy, something I really didn't appreciate or fully understand till I got older.
Growing up I only looked at it as a job that took my father away for long periods of time, I resented the various moves, I resented that he missed out on holidays or birthdays or father-daughter dances.
When we moved to a state that didn't take him out to sea every six months, it was definitely an adjustment period, who was this man that was now home and why was he trying to tell us what to do, that was mom's job and even then I still didn't realize the commitment one makes when joining the service....it didn't really dawn on me, till my father retired from the Navy and going through his retirement ceremony and I cried only then realizing that perhaps there were times that he didn't want to leave us, but it was his job and regardless of how he felt, he had to go.
As an adult and parent, I realize how lucky I was to have had the opportunities that we had - how happy I felt when we would go to the base and eagerly watch the ships coming into port while the servicemen were all lined up on the ship and I would try to find my dad among all the servicemen. Or when my dad would take me to his office and let me type on his typewriter, or play the one game they had on the computer and the nights we would get to come on the ship and get to eat with him; I can still remember the smell of the ship: metal and diesel fuel, sometimes tar-like. Or the great friendships you would make with the other military families.
Or all the places we got to live and experience - although growing up I absolutely hated moving and the process of having to meet new people, new schools and the one year I changed three schools in a matter of six months and I remember my dad walking me into one of the schools, trying to ease my nerves and hugged me and said it will be okay and all I wanted to do was cry and say, don't leave me here, but I didn't because you adjust...you meet some great people that turn into friends. Looking back it definitely helped shape me into the person I am and I wouldn't be the person I am had it not been for all those experiences. It's not an easy life for anyone involved, but it's life just the same and I want to just say thanks, Dad. Thanks for your service to this country and for giving me the opportunity to be a military brat - I'm proud to be your daughter!
And thanks to all the servicemen past and present....not all appreciate or fully understand the type of commitment it takes, but thank you.
"On the battlefield, the military pledges to leave no soldier behind. As a nation, let it be our pledge that when they return home, we leave no veteran behind" - Dan Lipinski
Growing up I only looked at it as a job that took my father away for long periods of time, I resented the various moves, I resented that he missed out on holidays or birthdays or father-daughter dances.
When we moved to a state that didn't take him out to sea every six months, it was definitely an adjustment period, who was this man that was now home and why was he trying to tell us what to do, that was mom's job and even then I still didn't realize the commitment one makes when joining the service....it didn't really dawn on me, till my father retired from the Navy and going through his retirement ceremony and I cried only then realizing that perhaps there were times that he didn't want to leave us, but it was his job and regardless of how he felt, he had to go.
As an adult and parent, I realize how lucky I was to have had the opportunities that we had - how happy I felt when we would go to the base and eagerly watch the ships coming into port while the servicemen were all lined up on the ship and I would try to find my dad among all the servicemen. Or when my dad would take me to his office and let me type on his typewriter, or play the one game they had on the computer and the nights we would get to come on the ship and get to eat with him; I can still remember the smell of the ship: metal and diesel fuel, sometimes tar-like. Or the great friendships you would make with the other military families.
Or all the places we got to live and experience - although growing up I absolutely hated moving and the process of having to meet new people, new schools and the one year I changed three schools in a matter of six months and I remember my dad walking me into one of the schools, trying to ease my nerves and hugged me and said it will be okay and all I wanted to do was cry and say, don't leave me here, but I didn't because you adjust...you meet some great people that turn into friends. Looking back it definitely helped shape me into the person I am and I wouldn't be the person I am had it not been for all those experiences. It's not an easy life for anyone involved, but it's life just the same and I want to just say thanks, Dad. Thanks for your service to this country and for giving me the opportunity to be a military brat - I'm proud to be your daughter!
And thanks to all the servicemen past and present....not all appreciate or fully understand the type of commitment it takes, but thank you.
"On the battlefield, the military pledges to leave no soldier behind. As a nation, let it be our pledge that when they return home, we leave no veteran behind" - Dan Lipinski
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Family Dynamics.....
I debated internally with myself, whether or not I wanted to blog about this, but then I thought, crap, I've blogged about so much other stuff in my life, why not. And perhaps it is because I pretend it doesn't bother me when in reality it does. And thus I don't really want to go into it, because I don't want to stir up anything, so I ignore it, but sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone to really see the bigger picture.
So, whatever is it that I'm eluding to....the family dynamics of my siblings. My husband has his own issues with his siblings, so I'm not going to get in those, but is it just us or do most siblings have closer relationships with friends besides their own sibling? In my case, I'm definitely closer to a few of my friends than I am with my siblings and do I like it that way? Yes and No. I guess I always felt like at some point things would change and eventually get to there and in some aspects of my life it has, but it has always reverted back to more of a "this person has a presence in my life" rather than "this person is a part of my life."
My sister and I have had our ups and downs and growing up I have always envied her "carefree" demeanor, I'm definitely not that gal in settings I'm not comfortable with....whereas my sister has the "don't care what you think" attitude, but she has always been the more social butterfly and gets more laughs, which I admire. However, I have always felt like I had to compete for her attention and at times I felt she resented me, which drove a wedge even further between us.
And time after time, after something would happen and the more disappointed or hurt I felt, I continued to let it go for the sake of wanting her in my life. I would wait for an apology, I would wait for some closure, only to be told not to live in the past, but yet if her feelings were hurt - then it is okay to bring up the "wrongs" in her life. And most recently after something happened, I thought really? I definitely wouldn't take this from anyone else, why in the hell should I take it...I'm not a doormat and I refuse to be one. So, my sister is not really in my life and I am not a part of hers, am I comfortable with that? No, not really, I would love to have a relationship with my sister who I could call up and hang out with, but I'm tired of continually giving emotionally to someone who I feel doesn't give back or can take responsibility for their actions. And I know that if I were to pretend nothing has happened, things would be great, until the next issue arises and once again it will be my fault. I can't continue to live like that and I won't.
Relationships take work and it is easy to let relationships fall then to work on them and the thing is if I really felt like my sister wanted me a part of her life, I would make more of an effort, but it has to go both ways. And instead I feel like an outsider looking in to her world and I'm not going to apologize for my life, I feel like - I've done so in the past and I've tried, but I don't get the impression that she cares one way or the other.
I feel for my children because I don't want them to have this type of dysfunctional relationship with their sibling, at times I wonder what example am I setting for them...I can't rely on my brother, I can't rely on my sister, there is no relationship there and then we have no relationship with my husbands siblings. It's like seriously, these are siblings and my children look at our close friends as aunties/uncles more so than the real ones....what kind of picture is that, but again the relationship with those friendship is that we work on being a part of that person's life.
My little man is taking piano and he said to his piano teacher, how a close family friend's daughter (who is also taking piano) was his cousin. The piano teacher asked if we were family and I laughed and said no, but we see each other that enough that the kids feel like family.
I don't expect a perfect family, but to feel like I could count on my sibling would be enough.
"The most powerful ties are the ones to the people who gave us birth it hardly seems to matter how many years have passed, how many betrayals there may have been, how much misery in the family: We remain connected, even against our wills." - A.Brandt
So, whatever is it that I'm eluding to....the family dynamics of my siblings. My husband has his own issues with his siblings, so I'm not going to get in those, but is it just us or do most siblings have closer relationships with friends besides their own sibling? In my case, I'm definitely closer to a few of my friends than I am with my siblings and do I like it that way? Yes and No. I guess I always felt like at some point things would change and eventually get to there and in some aspects of my life it has, but it has always reverted back to more of a "this person has a presence in my life" rather than "this person is a part of my life."
My sister and I have had our ups and downs and growing up I have always envied her "carefree" demeanor, I'm definitely not that gal in settings I'm not comfortable with....whereas my sister has the "don't care what you think" attitude, but she has always been the more social butterfly and gets more laughs, which I admire. However, I have always felt like I had to compete for her attention and at times I felt she resented me, which drove a wedge even further between us.
And time after time, after something would happen and the more disappointed or hurt I felt, I continued to let it go for the sake of wanting her in my life. I would wait for an apology, I would wait for some closure, only to be told not to live in the past, but yet if her feelings were hurt - then it is okay to bring up the "wrongs" in her life. And most recently after something happened, I thought really? I definitely wouldn't take this from anyone else, why in the hell should I take it...I'm not a doormat and I refuse to be one. So, my sister is not really in my life and I am not a part of hers, am I comfortable with that? No, not really, I would love to have a relationship with my sister who I could call up and hang out with, but I'm tired of continually giving emotionally to someone who I feel doesn't give back or can take responsibility for their actions. And I know that if I were to pretend nothing has happened, things would be great, until the next issue arises and once again it will be my fault. I can't continue to live like that and I won't.
Relationships take work and it is easy to let relationships fall then to work on them and the thing is if I really felt like my sister wanted me a part of her life, I would make more of an effort, but it has to go both ways. And instead I feel like an outsider looking in to her world and I'm not going to apologize for my life, I feel like - I've done so in the past and I've tried, but I don't get the impression that she cares one way or the other.
I feel for my children because I don't want them to have this type of dysfunctional relationship with their sibling, at times I wonder what example am I setting for them...I can't rely on my brother, I can't rely on my sister, there is no relationship there and then we have no relationship with my husbands siblings. It's like seriously, these are siblings and my children look at our close friends as aunties/uncles more so than the real ones....what kind of picture is that, but again the relationship with those friendship is that we work on being a part of that person's life.
My little man is taking piano and he said to his piano teacher, how a close family friend's daughter (who is also taking piano) was his cousin. The piano teacher asked if we were family and I laughed and said no, but we see each other that enough that the kids feel like family.
I don't expect a perfect family, but to feel like I could count on my sibling would be enough.
"The most powerful ties are the ones to the people who gave us birth it hardly seems to matter how many years have passed, how many betrayals there may have been, how much misery in the family: We remain connected, even against our wills." - A.Brandt
Thursday, November 3, 2011
30 Days of Gratitude
Well we are already into the first week of November, we've been trying to talk about all the things that we are grateful before bedtime. It is always interesting to hear what the kids have to share, such as...my books, my family, my bed, candy, the animals, etc...
I am thinking of making some Thanksgiving and Christmas questions that we can take turns asking/answering during dinner time. The dollar store has some foam craft stuff that I think we can use to decorate and write the questions on - I also have a box that they kids can decorate and I know they will enjoy it.
I've signed the whole family up for the Miracle of the Bell campaign through the Salvation Army, so yes, we will be out there ringing those bells - the kids are pretty excited as they had so much fun last year ringing the bells.
The husband was away this week - I don't mind when he is away, but sometimes it gets old. The kids are always well-behaved, but they miss him terribly - well we all miss him. It feels like he has been traveling more, but I really don't know it that is the case or if I just notice it more, but it is what it is. I just try to enjoy and soak it in when he is home (when he is not wrapped up into all the home projects).
I've also found a new holiday DIY project that I'm excited to try, so I'll post pictures if I start and finish it :)
"Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you. " E. Caddy
I am thinking of making some Thanksgiving and Christmas questions that we can take turns asking/answering during dinner time. The dollar store has some foam craft stuff that I think we can use to decorate and write the questions on - I also have a box that they kids can decorate and I know they will enjoy it.
I've signed the whole family up for the Miracle of the Bell campaign through the Salvation Army, so yes, we will be out there ringing those bells - the kids are pretty excited as they had so much fun last year ringing the bells.
The husband was away this week - I don't mind when he is away, but sometimes it gets old. The kids are always well-behaved, but they miss him terribly - well we all miss him. It feels like he has been traveling more, but I really don't know it that is the case or if I just notice it more, but it is what it is. I just try to enjoy and soak it in when he is home (when he is not wrapped up into all the home projects).
I've also found a new holiday DIY project that I'm excited to try, so I'll post pictures if I start and finish it :)
"Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you. " E. Caddy
Friday, October 28, 2011
Yummy Fall Treat
I saw this recipe in a magazine and thought I'd give it a try. I added my own variation to the recipe and I think they turned out delish, well and also from those who tried them. So here it is:
Caramel Apple Muffins
1. Take your favorite batch of apple muffins and make them as stated (I used the Jiffy Apple Muffin Mix), let them cool.
2. Use an electric mixer to blend 8 ounces softened cream cheese, 3 tablespoons maple syrup and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract until smooth. Add food coloring (I used 3 drops of yellow and 1 drop of red).
3. Frost each muffin and coat or edge with chopped nuts (I used brown sugar and rolled oats mixture) and drizzle caramel over the muffins.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Moving along....
Well it's been some time since my last post. I have no excuse other than life is moving along, sometimes faster than I actually think I realize. Work is busy, the kids activities are keeping them (and me) busy and we've been rebuilding the shed and chicken coop from the fire and decided to add a little green house as well. Then before I realize it, weeks have past.
My little man has started karate and he tested for his white with yellow stripe belt, seeing how proud he was when they called his name was the best. He is gaining so much mo self-confidence since he's been attending.
I also watched a documentary, titled The Human Experience. It was a great movie, it is definitely one of those movies that makes you stop and think about life in general. I watched it four times in one week and considering buying it. It is one of those movies you think everyone should watch and as I struggle trying to figure out what my place is in this world, I think it helps put things in perspective. One of the most memorable quotes for me was "by giving yourself, you find yourself," which I think is true. We take moments in our life, both good and bad and we find meaning in them whether it is intended or not, but regardless of what you find, it is your experience and I realize that if I don't try to reach for my dreams than what kind of example am I setting for my children. We tell our children from an early age to reach for the stars and dream big, but then as life moves along and those children grow, we tell them to get a job, take responsibility, and grow up....and thus later in life we find ourselves questioning "life" and what it all means, is it all mundane or is there a bigger piece to the puzzle?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not in anyway indicating that I'm unhappy with my life, in fact I'm quite happy....what I question is there a greater purpose, what is my impact, what am I contributing to the world.
So, I've spent some time trying to figure out, what am I passionate about, what would I do for free if I didn't have to work, and what brings joy to my life. Writing, education, and my children/family is what I kept coming back to.......I have some ideas as far as writing projects and I always start them, but never finish, we shall see if I can overcome my fear of failure and just do it, if not for myself, but at least to show my children that I can.
"But whatever experience we have, whether it is good or whether it's bad, we can always remember it and learn something from it. And it's those moments....when something touches you, something opens up something that you didn't realize before, you feel a longing, you know, that you never felt before." - Makoto Fujimura
My little man has started karate and he tested for his white with yellow stripe belt, seeing how proud he was when they called his name was the best. He is gaining so much mo self-confidence since he's been attending.
I also watched a documentary, titled The Human Experience. It was a great movie, it is definitely one of those movies that makes you stop and think about life in general. I watched it four times in one week and considering buying it. It is one of those movies you think everyone should watch and as I struggle trying to figure out what my place is in this world, I think it helps put things in perspective. One of the most memorable quotes for me was "by giving yourself, you find yourself," which I think is true. We take moments in our life, both good and bad and we find meaning in them whether it is intended or not, but regardless of what you find, it is your experience and I realize that if I don't try to reach for my dreams than what kind of example am I setting for my children. We tell our children from an early age to reach for the stars and dream big, but then as life moves along and those children grow, we tell them to get a job, take responsibility, and grow up....and thus later in life we find ourselves questioning "life" and what it all means, is it all mundane or is there a bigger piece to the puzzle?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not in anyway indicating that I'm unhappy with my life, in fact I'm quite happy....what I question is there a greater purpose, what is my impact, what am I contributing to the world.
So, I've spent some time trying to figure out, what am I passionate about, what would I do for free if I didn't have to work, and what brings joy to my life. Writing, education, and my children/family is what I kept coming back to.......I have some ideas as far as writing projects and I always start them, but never finish, we shall see if I can overcome my fear of failure and just do it, if not for myself, but at least to show my children that I can.
"But whatever experience we have, whether it is good or whether it's bad, we can always remember it and learn something from it. And it's those moments....when something touches you, something opens up something that you didn't realize before, you feel a longing, you know, that you never felt before." - Makoto Fujimura
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Montessori Madness
My sweet pea, the first-grader, has been working on this school project for a few weeks.
Every so often I’d get an update from her:…..“Today, we got to make up our own insect…mine is the “buttercock,” half butterfly and half peacock”…….”I wrote a story about my insect”…………”I made my insect out of clay”…….and this went on, what I noticed was the excitement in her tone, what she was learning about the insects, the details she was including and the smile it brought to her face.
And then the day came when she could barely keep still, waiting patiently as my little man talked about his day until she can no longer stand it and says, “I have to tell you this….we are having an author’s café in my class, you get to come, I can dress up and we tell our stories and then serve you drinks and cookies, I’m really excited, can you come?”
So, we marked it down on her calendar and it was like leading up to a birthday….the day finally arrived and she puts on her best dress and says, do you think I’ll be okay in front of everyone? I nod.
My mum accompanies me to the Author’s café and we are greeted by three third-grade girls in the classroom and told to pick a seat. The teacher explains how the projects got started and thus turned into the Author’s café and then the students begin reading their stories about the insect that they created.
I was impressed by the creativity shown by these children, the details that were included and some made you laugh out loud, it was quite impressive and you could tell each child enjoyed the project, there was a spark in their eyes as they talked about their story and sitting there listening to these children made me appreciate my children’s school, appreciate the spirit that they are instilling into my child. It’s what I love about Montessori, they are creating independent, life long learners.
A few parents have created a committee to work on spreading the word of Montessori, there should be more public Montessori schools, we need to expand our school we have a growing population with less teachers and it is going to bubble – the school has over 500 students on the waiting list, which shows parents want more options and we should have more options than traditional public school settings. Our children continually are taught early on that they "CAN'T," when in all reality they CAN.
If you are unfamiliar with Montessori, here is a great video....take a peak
"We cannot create observers by saying 'observe,' but by giving them the power and the means for this observation and these means are procured through education of the senses." - Maria Montessori
Every so often I’d get an update from her:…..“Today, we got to make up our own insect…mine is the “buttercock,” half butterfly and half peacock”…….”I wrote a story about my insect”…………”I made my insect out of clay”…….and this went on, what I noticed was the excitement in her tone, what she was learning about the insects, the details she was including and the smile it brought to her face.
And then the day came when she could barely keep still, waiting patiently as my little man talked about his day until she can no longer stand it and says, “I have to tell you this….we are having an author’s café in my class, you get to come, I can dress up and we tell our stories and then serve you drinks and cookies, I’m really excited, can you come?”
So, we marked it down on her calendar and it was like leading up to a birthday….the day finally arrived and she puts on her best dress and says, do you think I’ll be okay in front of everyone? I nod.
My mum accompanies me to the Author’s café and we are greeted by three third-grade girls in the classroom and told to pick a seat. The teacher explains how the projects got started and thus turned into the Author’s café and then the students begin reading their stories about the insect that they created.
I was impressed by the creativity shown by these children, the details that were included and some made you laugh out loud, it was quite impressive and you could tell each child enjoyed the project, there was a spark in their eyes as they talked about their story and sitting there listening to these children made me appreciate my children’s school, appreciate the spirit that they are instilling into my child. It’s what I love about Montessori, they are creating independent, life long learners.
A few parents have created a committee to work on spreading the word of Montessori, there should be more public Montessori schools, we need to expand our school we have a growing population with less teachers and it is going to bubble – the school has over 500 students on the waiting list, which shows parents want more options and we should have more options than traditional public school settings. Our children continually are taught early on that they "CAN'T," when in all reality they CAN.
If you are unfamiliar with Montessori, here is a great video....take a peak
"We cannot create observers by saying 'observe,' but by giving them the power and the means for this observation and these means are procured through education of the senses." - Maria Montessori
Don’t forget the note……
It’s amazing how it’s the little things that sometimes have the biggest impact.
I was making lunches for my children in the morning and as my little man is getting ready he yells, “Don’t forget my note, you forgot one day, so remember my note, okay mommy?”
And as I listened to him, my heart smiled….we are still working on learning how to read with him, so he knows sight words, but sometimes I wondered if he ever paid attention to the notes in the lunchbox or knew what it said.
And I also realize I’m not the first mom to ever put notes in the lunch box, my mum use to put them in mine and I always looked forward to it, so I made it a practice for myself. Yet, my kids never said a word about them, until I forgot. So, I handed him the lunchbox and he says, “Is it in there?” I shook my head yes and asked, “do you want me to tell you what it says?” “No, no, don’t tell me, let me try my best,” he replied.
We get so caught up in the daily routines that sometimes it’s hard to catch those stop and pause moments and here I reflected on all that makes me happy and it’s never the material things….it’s the smile from a stranger, the tug of my hand as my kids wrap their hands around mine, the soft kiss from my husband as he walks in the door, a compliment from out of the blue, and the good-night laughs and cuddles. I treasure these moments more than I can explain, I suppose some of it reminds me of my own childhood memories, but it's what I look forward to the most throughout my days.
“Some people drift through their entire life. They do it one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time. It happens so gradually they are unaware of how their lives are slipping away until it's too late.” M.K Ash
I was making lunches for my children in the morning and as my little man is getting ready he yells, “Don’t forget my note, you forgot one day, so remember my note, okay mommy?”
And as I listened to him, my heart smiled….we are still working on learning how to read with him, so he knows sight words, but sometimes I wondered if he ever paid attention to the notes in the lunchbox or knew what it said.
And I also realize I’m not the first mom to ever put notes in the lunch box, my mum use to put them in mine and I always looked forward to it, so I made it a practice for myself. Yet, my kids never said a word about them, until I forgot. So, I handed him the lunchbox and he says, “Is it in there?” I shook my head yes and asked, “do you want me to tell you what it says?” “No, no, don’t tell me, let me try my best,” he replied.
We get so caught up in the daily routines that sometimes it’s hard to catch those stop and pause moments and here I reflected on all that makes me happy and it’s never the material things….it’s the smile from a stranger, the tug of my hand as my kids wrap their hands around mine, the soft kiss from my husband as he walks in the door, a compliment from out of the blue, and the good-night laughs and cuddles. I treasure these moments more than I can explain, I suppose some of it reminds me of my own childhood memories, but it's what I look forward to the most throughout my days.
“Some people drift through their entire life. They do it one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time. It happens so gradually they are unaware of how their lives are slipping away until it's too late.” M.K Ash
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Too Close for Comfort.....
Well what a night, my husband watched a movie while I was working on a Power Point presentation for one of my projects and then after the movie was finished, we went to bed. I do my typical routine, check on the kids, give kisses, etc...look out my son's window as always to see the shimmer of the moon and then went to our room.
It didn't seem long, before we hear this loud bang on our door, my husband goes to the door where a neighbor informs him that our shed in the backyard is on fire. I immediately jump up, run to my son's room, look out the window and stare in complete shock as flames are engulfing our shed where we built the chicken coop, so yes, the chickens.
I call 9-1-1, the dispatcher informs me that our neighbor called it in, he asks if anything flammable is in there, the lawnmower, gasoline tank, so yes.
It didn't take long for the fire trucks and police to arrive, I asked the policeman if I should evacuate my children from the house, as the flames were high, he said we should be okay. I'm sick to my stomach watching it, so I go inside to check on the kids, call my parents in panic and my sweet pea comes hiding from her room, she woke, saw the lights and looked outside her window. She wants to know if the chickens are okay, I tell her I don't know and squeeze her tight.
The fire department does their job, puts the fire out and the chickens are okay, thankfully they ran to the outside of the shed, but me, I'm still in shock. I have a fear of fires and this was too close to my comfort zone. It was our garden shed and thank you higher spirit that it was only our shed, it wasn't our home.
The fire department is still here, my husband is outside and I will get little sleep tonight. I've moved the kids into our bed because their rooms face the backyard and I just feel better with them in my room.
So, it looks like I will be delivering some sort of goodies to the fire department, not sure what yet, but it doesn't seem like "thank you" is enough for their service.
"As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world." ~Terri Guillemets
It didn't seem long, before we hear this loud bang on our door, my husband goes to the door where a neighbor informs him that our shed in the backyard is on fire. I immediately jump up, run to my son's room, look out the window and stare in complete shock as flames are engulfing our shed where we built the chicken coop, so yes, the chickens.
I call 9-1-1, the dispatcher informs me that our neighbor called it in, he asks if anything flammable is in there, the lawnmower, gasoline tank, so yes.
It didn't take long for the fire trucks and police to arrive, I asked the policeman if I should evacuate my children from the house, as the flames were high, he said we should be okay. I'm sick to my stomach watching it, so I go inside to check on the kids, call my parents in panic and my sweet pea comes hiding from her room, she woke, saw the lights and looked outside her window. She wants to know if the chickens are okay, I tell her I don't know and squeeze her tight.
The fire department does their job, puts the fire out and the chickens are okay, thankfully they ran to the outside of the shed, but me, I'm still in shock. I have a fear of fires and this was too close to my comfort zone. It was our garden shed and thank you higher spirit that it was only our shed, it wasn't our home.
The fire department is still here, my husband is outside and I will get little sleep tonight. I've moved the kids into our bed because their rooms face the backyard and I just feel better with them in my room.
So, it looks like I will be delivering some sort of goodies to the fire department, not sure what yet, but it doesn't seem like "thank you" is enough for their service.
"As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world." ~Terri Guillemets
Monday, September 5, 2011
Yes, Fall is upon us.....
The kids are adjusting to the routine of going back to school and seem to be enjoying the start of the new school year. I feel a bit guilty that are summer plans lack some major adventures like hitting the Black Hills, but it seemed that the summer swept by us before I even realized it. We made a couple weekend getaways and I told the kids that we will each write up a list of activities for next year and maybe pick one or two and just focus on achieving those, maybe instead of having a huge list of "things to do" and focusing on one or two, we will be more likely to accomplish it.
We went camping over the weekend, it was such a beautiful day yesterday and it was completely last minute, but we were able to squeeze it in. My husband had been at this campsite a few times before, but it was a first for us as a family and wow, what a well-kept secret. There are only six campsites (no electric) and it is tucked away in some rolling hills, there is a trail that leads to what was once the site of a Native American (Woodland Indians) burial ground. It is called, Hickory Hills.
The kids chased monarch butterflies and impressed me with their newly acquired knowledge of butterflies that they have been learning in school. We looked at various plants, such as milkweed and then looked at the stars. It was a great night, no t.v. or phone or computer, movies, just us.
I wish I could say I slept like a baby, but for one I am a light sleeper and second as much as I like being outdoors, I have an overactive imagination, so when you combine that with sleeping in a tent outdoors in the middle of a secluded campsite, your mind plays tricks on you. The owls were hooting, coyotes were howling, and then all the other noises that you typically hear in the woods, my sleep was not restful to say the least. You would think I would learn.....
"I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright." ~Henry David Thoreau
"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough." - R.Tagore
We went camping over the weekend, it was such a beautiful day yesterday and it was completely last minute, but we were able to squeeze it in. My husband had been at this campsite a few times before, but it was a first for us as a family and wow, what a well-kept secret. There are only six campsites (no electric) and it is tucked away in some rolling hills, there is a trail that leads to what was once the site of a Native American (Woodland Indians) burial ground. It is called, Hickory Hills.
The kids chased monarch butterflies and impressed me with their newly acquired knowledge of butterflies that they have been learning in school. We looked at various plants, such as milkweed and then looked at the stars. It was a great night, no t.v. or phone or computer, movies, just us.
I wish I could say I slept like a baby, but for one I am a light sleeper and second as much as I like being outdoors, I have an overactive imagination, so when you combine that with sleeping in a tent outdoors in the middle of a secluded campsite, your mind plays tricks on you. The owls were hooting, coyotes were howling, and then all the other noises that you typically hear in the woods, my sleep was not restful to say the least. You would think I would learn.....
"I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright." ~Henry David Thoreau
"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough." - R.Tagore
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wordles are fun
My Wordle for the day......I took a poem I wrote and created a Wordle, where it generates a word cloud from text you provide, just fun!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Can it really be that many......
Indeed, it has been 9 years since my husband and I said, "I do" and it amazes me how time has passed. I'll try to spare the cliche "my husband is my best friend" speech, but I can't make any promises, so I give fair warning now for those faint of heart in mushiness that this blog may contain some touches of warm fuzziness, please proceed with caution.
I didn't grow up dreaming of my wedding day, nor did I believe in true love or that somewhere out there one man was out there for me, I mean come on, it's a big world and considering I had moved several times to different states, I never knew where I was going to settle and all I can say is Iowa wasn't in my plans. Yet, fate if you believe in such things, had different plans......
It amazes me how one person can significantly change the course of your life. There is a quote that I love by Javan that goes something like,"it is not about finding the right person as it is finding them at the right time" and I find that to be ever so true.
I think had he and I met any earlier or later in our lives, things wouldn't have turned out as they did, neither one of us were prepared for the other, let alone a relationship, but somehow and in some way our paths crossed and we were never the same. I told him early on, I had big plans, I was going to move out of Iowa and he told me the same, that he was planning on leaving once his lease was up and he did leave when his lease was up, but closer to me ;) and I graduated from college and moved....in with him.
I was in awe of him, he made me nervous and I think it is because he did something no other could do, he challenged me to my core and tore down my wall. And I am ever so glad he did.
I look at pictures when we first met and when we got married and then I glance over at my man now and I still get the butterflies in my stomach, my heart flutters with his touch and I love him more than he really knows.
He knows me all to well, accepts all of me, encourages me, occasionally makes me mad as I'm sure I make him mad as well, and can get me laughing so hard it hurts. And what is so amazing about love, is that even though it is what first initially brings people together, through the years it grows into something deeper and changes. For me, I think it is what the changes bring that makes me fall in love with him all over, like seeing him with our kids or seeing him cry for the first time. It is in those moments when someone shares pieces of their soul that captures your heart.
My sweet-pea asked about how did I know that "daddy" was my husband and I said, I just did. She didn't understand, but perhaps one day she will.
For my kids, if and when they are old enough and ready for that commitment my only hope is that they have someone if their life that will: be kind, patient even when you are ready to scream, is able to laugh, be silly with you, is strong, confident, not afraid to show emotions, full of passion and someone who is willing to share their life, and someone who doesn't give up, understanding, and loving, believes in happy endings. I have found that and more.
And I don't know what our future holds, but I know that it isn't just about love as it is about how he makes me be a better person and so our story continues......Happy Anniversary my love!
"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." Judy Garland
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." ~Author Unknown
"Whether it was chance or that thing called fate that brought me to you, I really can't say, and I don't believe it really matters. For I have been lucky enough to have the opportunity to hold you, not just in my arms, but also in my heart. And should the winds of time blow hard enough to take you from my arms, you can rest assured they will never take you from my heart." - Javan
I didn't grow up dreaming of my wedding day, nor did I believe in true love or that somewhere out there one man was out there for me, I mean come on, it's a big world and considering I had moved several times to different states, I never knew where I was going to settle and all I can say is Iowa wasn't in my plans. Yet, fate if you believe in such things, had different plans......
It amazes me how one person can significantly change the course of your life. There is a quote that I love by Javan that goes something like,"it is not about finding the right person as it is finding them at the right time" and I find that to be ever so true.
I think had he and I met any earlier or later in our lives, things wouldn't have turned out as they did, neither one of us were prepared for the other, let alone a relationship, but somehow and in some way our paths crossed and we were never the same. I told him early on, I had big plans, I was going to move out of Iowa and he told me the same, that he was planning on leaving once his lease was up and he did leave when his lease was up, but closer to me ;) and I graduated from college and moved....in with him.
I was in awe of him, he made me nervous and I think it is because he did something no other could do, he challenged me to my core and tore down my wall. And I am ever so glad he did.
I look at pictures when we first met and when we got married and then I glance over at my man now and I still get the butterflies in my stomach, my heart flutters with his touch and I love him more than he really knows.
He knows me all to well, accepts all of me, encourages me, occasionally makes me mad as I'm sure I make him mad as well, and can get me laughing so hard it hurts. And what is so amazing about love, is that even though it is what first initially brings people together, through the years it grows into something deeper and changes. For me, I think it is what the changes bring that makes me fall in love with him all over, like seeing him with our kids or seeing him cry for the first time. It is in those moments when someone shares pieces of their soul that captures your heart.
My sweet-pea asked about how did I know that "daddy" was my husband and I said, I just did. She didn't understand, but perhaps one day she will.
For my kids, if and when they are old enough and ready for that commitment my only hope is that they have someone if their life that will: be kind, patient even when you are ready to scream, is able to laugh, be silly with you, is strong, confident, not afraid to show emotions, full of passion and someone who is willing to share their life, and someone who doesn't give up, understanding, and loving, believes in happy endings. I have found that and more.
And I don't know what our future holds, but I know that it isn't just about love as it is about how he makes me be a better person and so our story continues......Happy Anniversary my love!
"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." Judy Garland
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." ~Author Unknown
"Whether it was chance or that thing called fate that brought me to you, I really can't say, and I don't believe it really matters. For I have been lucky enough to have the opportunity to hold you, not just in my arms, but also in my heart. And should the winds of time blow hard enough to take you from my arms, you can rest assured they will never take you from my heart." - Javan
Friday, August 19, 2011
Giving liberates the soul of the Giver....
I saw a business posting about an organization that gives loans to individuals across the world and they look for people to lend them these individuals or groups the money by lending as little as $25 or lending the entire amount of the loan. The local business said they have loaned out nine loans, six were paid in full and three are making payments, but I found the idea fascinating. These individuals or groups may not have the means necessary to obtain a traditional loan, but through the help of other individuals can pursue a goal or dream.
So, I made my first loan - it was $25, but hopefully with time, I can increase that amount. And the man was located in Peru, I selected him mainly because he was only $100 away from his goal of $880 and he only had two days left to reach it and within an hour, I got an email indicating he reached his goal with the help of 20 individuals across the world.
Mother Theresa said once, that if you can't feed the world, feed one and I felt like as much as I'd like to help hundreds of people, I can't, but I helped one and it felt good to know he reached his goal.
The organization is called Kiva and I hope you check it out. There are times when we are up and there are the times when we are down, so when I have the opportunity to help, I try. I can't explain the feeling, but I feel like when I give, somehow I'm making a small difference as cliche' as it is.
"Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do." Khalil Gibran
So, I made my first loan - it was $25, but hopefully with time, I can increase that amount. And the man was located in Peru, I selected him mainly because he was only $100 away from his goal of $880 and he only had two days left to reach it and within an hour, I got an email indicating he reached his goal with the help of 20 individuals across the world.
Mother Theresa said once, that if you can't feed the world, feed one and I felt like as much as I'd like to help hundreds of people, I can't, but I helped one and it felt good to know he reached his goal.
The organization is called Kiva and I hope you check it out. There are times when we are up and there are the times when we are down, so when I have the opportunity to help, I try. I can't explain the feeling, but I feel like when I give, somehow I'm making a small difference as cliche' as it is.
"Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do." Khalil Gibran
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Happy Kidney Day
I woke a little early today, took the dogs out and drank a cup of tea in the backyard. As I was sitting there, I could see the sun rising, it was a bit cloudy, but the sun was bursting through some of the clouds and it was still quite remarkable to watch. I put my feet in the grass still fresh with morning dew and enjoyed the stillness of the moment that with each rising of the sun, brings the promise of a new day, new beginning, a new journey.
And so I said a quiet blessing reflecting that today marks two years since I donated my kidney to my mom and considering how things got started after the surgery, two years is grand! So Happy Kidney day to my mother, I'm blessed to have her here!
We easily get caught up in wishing minutes or hours would pass so we can get through another day, yet infrequently stop to realize what we are wishing away and then when it's gone do we regret what we've lost. We are all guilty of this and sometimes it is hard to break the pattern, but take the time to stop and enjoy what's been presented to you today, even though there is tomorrow, there is no guarantee.
"My mother gave me life and never once asked for anything in return. That is her secret you know, always giving without expectations. She helps me find my way through the years and makes me laugh while doing it - there are some things that only a mother can do"
"Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires." ~Charles Caleb Colton
And so I said a quiet blessing reflecting that today marks two years since I donated my kidney to my mom and considering how things got started after the surgery, two years is grand! So Happy Kidney day to my mother, I'm blessed to have her here!
We easily get caught up in wishing minutes or hours would pass so we can get through another day, yet infrequently stop to realize what we are wishing away and then when it's gone do we regret what we've lost. We are all guilty of this and sometimes it is hard to break the pattern, but take the time to stop and enjoy what's been presented to you today, even though there is tomorrow, there is no guarantee.
"My mother gave me life and never once asked for anything in return. That is her secret you know, always giving without expectations. She helps me find my way through the years and makes me laugh while doing it - there are some things that only a mother can do"
"Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires." ~Charles Caleb Colton
Monday, August 1, 2011
Bedtime Giggles.....
We were doing our typical bedtime routine and reading stories, tonight it was Curious George: The Kite and Olivia forms a band.
As we were reading, the second story, Olivia forms a band, we turned the page and all of us started laughing and we couldn't stop. I know the photo spurred the laughter, but then continued laughing and laughing and as I tried to contain my composure to finish the book, we would continue to giggle.
Then my sweet pea said, "was that part of the book about us...."
As we were reading, the second story, Olivia forms a band, we turned the page and all of us started laughing and we couldn't stop. I know the photo spurred the laughter, but then continued laughing and laughing and as I tried to contain my composure to finish the book, we would continue to giggle.
Then my sweet pea said, "was that part of the book about us...."
I laughed even harder when she said that and said, "well maybe" and the reason why is because on the next page the mom states, "Wipe that glop off your face, young lady, and get in the car NOW!"
So, that is what my sweetpea was referring too....me telling her to wipe that crap off her face whenever she puts it on. Well on the brighter side, at least I know now that she is not the only Olivia who does it.
"Only five books tonight, Mommy," she says. No, Olivia, just one." How about four?" Two." Three." Oh, all right, three. But that's it!" — Ian Falconer (Olivia)
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Does the happily ever after exist.....
How often did you grow up hearing stories of fairytales or read them? I loved reading them and getting lost in the stories, sometimes pretending I was Little Red Riding Hood or when I would play outside I would pretend that I could speak with the animals and I would be Snow White, at some time we all want to believe that we are a princess and marry a prince, but as I grew older I realized that those stories like movies were fantasy and I surely wasn't a princess, so alas where did that leave my prince?
My interests and goals changed, I traded my fairytales for Jane Austin, Anne Rice, Toni Morrison, and Maya Angelou, Virginia Wolfe, Walt Whitman, and not to mention the many school books that I studied.
My world got bigger and complicated, of course heartbreaks and the tears that followed; wondering where was my fairy godmother?
And then one day, out of the blue and unexpected I met my man, he wasn't a prince by any means, but he did something no other man could do, he tore down my brick wall that I had built around myself and captured my heart. And I knew from the moment I met him, that I was going to marry that man.....and eventually I did.
Has it been happily ever after, of course not, this isn't a movie, but do I feel like like my fairytale has come true? Indeed...in fact, if you were to look on my checks there is a saying, "fairytales do come true." It may not be with glitz, sparkles, or a rescue from a tower, but I feel like it.
I wasn't looking to get married, I wasn't looking to have a family, I was focused on me and then unexpectedly some random guy comes along and completely changes my life, but do I believe that marriage and kids is the key to a happily ever after? No, what I do think the key to finding your happily ever after is what you define as your fairytale.
If you've been dreaming of Mr. Right, your 2.5 kids and your house with the picket fence all your life and it still hasn't happened, if you are happy who cares, but if you are are not happy because you don't have those things, perhaps you need to change your focus or your idea of what a fairytale is....for me it didn't matter about the pretty princess finding love, my favorite part about a fairytale was trying to discover the lesson in the tale; that good overcomes bad.
And of course, in life we don't always have a happy endings, but I figure if I am 98% of the time happy, then by all means I've reached my happily ever after.
Don't spend your life focusing on all the things you don't have, focus on the things that make you happy and then you'll find your happily ever after.
"If you happen to read fairy tales, you will observe that one idea runs from one end of them to the other--the idea that peace and happiness can only exist on some condition. This idea, which is the core of ethics, is the core of the nursery-tales." - G.K. Chesterton
"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales." - Albert Einstein
My interests and goals changed, I traded my fairytales for Jane Austin, Anne Rice, Toni Morrison, and Maya Angelou, Virginia Wolfe, Walt Whitman, and not to mention the many school books that I studied.
My world got bigger and complicated, of course heartbreaks and the tears that followed; wondering where was my fairy godmother?
And then one day, out of the blue and unexpected I met my man, he wasn't a prince by any means, but he did something no other man could do, he tore down my brick wall that I had built around myself and captured my heart. And I knew from the moment I met him, that I was going to marry that man.....and eventually I did.
Has it been happily ever after, of course not, this isn't a movie, but do I feel like like my fairytale has come true? Indeed...in fact, if you were to look on my checks there is a saying, "fairytales do come true." It may not be with glitz, sparkles, or a rescue from a tower, but I feel like it.
I wasn't looking to get married, I wasn't looking to have a family, I was focused on me and then unexpectedly some random guy comes along and completely changes my life, but do I believe that marriage and kids is the key to a happily ever after? No, what I do think the key to finding your happily ever after is what you define as your fairytale.
If you've been dreaming of Mr. Right, your 2.5 kids and your house with the picket fence all your life and it still hasn't happened, if you are happy who cares, but if you are are not happy because you don't have those things, perhaps you need to change your focus or your idea of what a fairytale is....for me it didn't matter about the pretty princess finding love, my favorite part about a fairytale was trying to discover the lesson in the tale; that good overcomes bad.
And of course, in life we don't always have a happy endings, but I figure if I am 98% of the time happy, then by all means I've reached my happily ever after.
Don't spend your life focusing on all the things you don't have, focus on the things that make you happy and then you'll find your happily ever after.
"If you happen to read fairy tales, you will observe that one idea runs from one end of them to the other--the idea that peace and happiness can only exist on some condition. This idea, which is the core of ethics, is the core of the nursery-tales." - G.K. Chesterton
"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales." - Albert Einstein
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Favorite Words
So this morning we are getting ready for our day and my sweet pea has a new affliction for words. So, I casually ask her what her favorite word is.....she thinks and says, "can I have two?" I nod and she says, "diamond" and "family," so I'm thinking those are two very different words and ask her why are those your favorites. And she says, "I like the way "diamond" sounds and the shape and it's a mineral (okay, Ms. Science?!)
So, then of course I have to ask my little man, who is patiently waiting for his sister to finish, so he can say loud and proud, "din-o-saur" and before I can even ask why, he says, "I like it because it's just cool."
And what surprised me the most is that I would never have guessed those words to be their favorite words, had someone ask me this, I would have said something like "princess" and "superhero," so I guess after all their worlds are more than just what they surround themselves with.
Of course, they asked me and so I told them, which is "magnanimous" and before I could tell them why, my little man, says, "why is it because it is a long word?" and I said, no I like the way it sounds and then I gave them the meaning of the word.
Magnanimous - showing a couragous spirit and/or generous in forgiving
What are some of your favorite words?
"In a serious struggle there is no worse cruelty than to be magnanimous at an inopportune time." - Leon Trotsky
"We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out." - Colin Mochrie
"I loved being outside. We'd hold lightning bugs in our fingers and pretend they were diamond rings." - Loretta Lynn
So, then of course I have to ask my little man, who is patiently waiting for his sister to finish, so he can say loud and proud, "din-o-saur" and before I can even ask why, he says, "I like it because it's just cool."
And what surprised me the most is that I would never have guessed those words to be their favorite words, had someone ask me this, I would have said something like "princess" and "superhero," so I guess after all their worlds are more than just what they surround themselves with.
Of course, they asked me and so I told them, which is "magnanimous" and before I could tell them why, my little man, says, "why is it because it is a long word?" and I said, no I like the way it sounds and then I gave them the meaning of the word.
Magnanimous - showing a couragous spirit and/or generous in forgiving
What are some of your favorite words?
"In a serious struggle there is no worse cruelty than to be magnanimous at an inopportune time." - Leon Trotsky
"We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out." - Colin Mochrie
"I loved being outside. We'd hold lightning bugs in our fingers and pretend they were diamond rings." - Loretta Lynn
Friday, July 15, 2011
Never have expectations......
Life lesson, never have expectations and you will never be disappointed with how things turn out. It sounds simple enough right? Hopefully, I can start practicing it. My mistake is I hold people to the same expectations that I hold myself and thus disappointed when things don't go the way I anticipated.
"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her." - Maya Angelou
"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her." - Maya Angelou
Friday, July 1, 2011
My Brave Little Sweet Pea
Today my little sweet pea had her tonsils and adenoids out. She was such a brave girl, we tried to talk about it once we found out that she needed them removed, but she wouldn't. Then last night, she said she was frighten and so we talked about her concerns and she seemed better. She asked if she would have visitors come over and I said I'm sure you will.
This morning, she was simply quite and remained that way the entire time. The surgery didn't take that long, approximately 30 minutes and then onto recovery, where she sat as I rubbed her little feet.
When they came to get her, I started to cry a bit, not that I was afraid, but I definitely would have traded places with her if I could have, I hate seeing my children upset or in pain, but I quickly stopped as I didn't want her to see me get upset. She was sick a couple times prior to us leaving and has been a few more times since we've been home, but overall, she is taking in liquids and resting. We haven't seen any tears, she is just being our brave little girl and I'm so proud of her!
She was excited when I walked in the room holding flowers that my sister had brought for her. She knew exactly who they were from without even reading the card and my sister didn't have to do it, especially considering we had a falling out a couple months ago.
My little man has been a big helper, watching over his sister and when we were eating dinner, she rang her bell and he said, "don't worry I'll get this one." I've got two of the best kids ever!
"Children make you want to start life over." Muhammad Ali
This morning, she was simply quite and remained that way the entire time. The surgery didn't take that long, approximately 30 minutes and then onto recovery, where she sat as I rubbed her little feet.
When they came to get her, I started to cry a bit, not that I was afraid, but I definitely would have traded places with her if I could have, I hate seeing my children upset or in pain, but I quickly stopped as I didn't want her to see me get upset. She was sick a couple times prior to us leaving and has been a few more times since we've been home, but overall, she is taking in liquids and resting. We haven't seen any tears, she is just being our brave little girl and I'm so proud of her!
She was excited when I walked in the room holding flowers that my sister had brought for her. She knew exactly who they were from without even reading the card and my sister didn't have to do it, especially considering we had a falling out a couple months ago.
My little man has been a big helper, watching over his sister and when we were eating dinner, she rang her bell and he said, "don't worry I'll get this one." I've got two of the best kids ever!
"Children make you want to start life over." Muhammad Ali
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Roots of Happiness.....
I have picked up a new book titled, Torn by Sarah Parent Walravens. It is a collection of stories from real-life mothers who have faced the decision of whether to continue with their careers or stay-at-home, but the commonality of it is the fact that women are "torn" by their decisions.
I can only speak for myself, but at times I definitely felt torn and whether or not the decisions I made and make are the "right" ones for my family. For any mother, I think we are our own worst enemy. I have learned early on to not compare myself to moms because at the end of the day, I can only do what works for me. When I first decided to leave my full-time job, I struggled with the decision, but when I put the decision in perspective of the overall bigger picture, I realized that my kids are small once, when they are grown I can never go back to replace that time. And even though my kids are still small, looking back, I'm happy I did it. I've got two of the best kids ever and I wouldn't trade any of the moments spent with them.
I will be the first to admit that I'm stern with my kids and they know that, but they are also learning that if they tell the truth, they don't get in trouble (and it's already been tested). I'm also not afraid to be silly with them, they know if they ask me I'll catch fireflies, I play freeze tag, and I will certainly dance and sing as loud as I can. At the end of the day, all I want is that my kids go to bed each and every night knowing how much I love them and I think they do.
I'm not a perfect mom, I've made mistakes and I'm sure I'll make plenty of more along the way, but I'm also not trying to be the perfect mom. I'm not trying to be a "cool" mom, I'm just trying to raise two little ones who grow into responsible individuals who believe in dreams, who believe in themselves, who aspire to be more, and who are willing to work for what they want.
"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies." P. Aretino
“Unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness." - Unknown
I can only speak for myself, but at times I definitely felt torn and whether or not the decisions I made and make are the "right" ones for my family. For any mother, I think we are our own worst enemy. I have learned early on to not compare myself to moms because at the end of the day, I can only do what works for me. When I first decided to leave my full-time job, I struggled with the decision, but when I put the decision in perspective of the overall bigger picture, I realized that my kids are small once, when they are grown I can never go back to replace that time. And even though my kids are still small, looking back, I'm happy I did it. I've got two of the best kids ever and I wouldn't trade any of the moments spent with them.
I will be the first to admit that I'm stern with my kids and they know that, but they are also learning that if they tell the truth, they don't get in trouble (and it's already been tested). I'm also not afraid to be silly with them, they know if they ask me I'll catch fireflies, I play freeze tag, and I will certainly dance and sing as loud as I can. At the end of the day, all I want is that my kids go to bed each and every night knowing how much I love them and I think they do.
I'm not a perfect mom, I've made mistakes and I'm sure I'll make plenty of more along the way, but I'm also not trying to be the perfect mom. I'm not trying to be a "cool" mom, I'm just trying to raise two little ones who grow into responsible individuals who believe in dreams, who believe in themselves, who aspire to be more, and who are willing to work for what they want.
"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies." P. Aretino
“Unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness." - Unknown
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Random thoughts on my mind.....
It's late and I've got so much going on in my mind that I thought I'd share....perhaps then I can go to bed and not toss/turn.
I've been having crazy dreams for the last several nights, so crazy that I wake up most nights, I feel like it is almost like a warning , but the dreams are so vastly different that I can't make sense of it.
And then today, I learned something that just sadden me to my core and it makes me wonder does normalcy exist in families? Yes, we all have those quirks, but do most families get along or is there tension most of the time?
Sometimes it is like watching a train wreck before it has even happened and no matter how many warnings you throw, nothing changes, but then wonder why the train wrecked? I just don't get it., but a lot of times we view things the way we want to see things versus the way it actually is.
Also, the Christchurch area was hit with not one, but two more earthquakes (aftershocks) one was 5.5 and then another struck which was over 6.0 - I keep thinking when will this city get a break, how much more can one city sustain? Christchurch was such a vibrant and beautiful city and as we were putting the kids to bed and I said a prayer for those in Christchurch my kids asked some questions and what struck me was that they will never get to see the city how I remember it and how it was because I don't think it will ever be the same, which is sad. The people there are strong and resilient, but enough already.
Is something bigger coming? I really don't know, but I suppose it just makes you want to be with the ones who really do matter the most.
"My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot." ~Ashleigh Brilliant
I've been having crazy dreams for the last several nights, so crazy that I wake up most nights, I feel like it is almost like a warning , but the dreams are so vastly different that I can't make sense of it.
And then today, I learned something that just sadden me to my core and it makes me wonder does normalcy exist in families? Yes, we all have those quirks, but do most families get along or is there tension most of the time?
Sometimes it is like watching a train wreck before it has even happened and no matter how many warnings you throw, nothing changes, but then wonder why the train wrecked? I just don't get it., but a lot of times we view things the way we want to see things versus the way it actually is.
Also, the Christchurch area was hit with not one, but two more earthquakes (aftershocks) one was 5.5 and then another struck which was over 6.0 - I keep thinking when will this city get a break, how much more can one city sustain? Christchurch was such a vibrant and beautiful city and as we were putting the kids to bed and I said a prayer for those in Christchurch my kids asked some questions and what struck me was that they will never get to see the city how I remember it and how it was because I don't think it will ever be the same, which is sad. The people there are strong and resilient, but enough already.
Is something bigger coming? I really don't know, but I suppose it just makes you want to be with the ones who really do matter the most.
"My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot." ~Ashleigh Brilliant
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
And so summer begins.....
This is the first week the kids have been out of school, my sweet pea is having a hard time adjusting. She likes being home, but I've caught her in her room sobbing. She is missing her friends and her teacher. And although I have tried to comfort her, it seems like it is one of those moments in her life where it is beyond mommy's reach. It is not like a cut or scrap that I can kiss and make it all better because even though I tell her it will be okay, it is not helping her.
"A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life." - James Allen
The kids begin swimming lessons soon, so I'm hoping that will take her mind off it.
I think this is the first "growing" pain that we have encountered and I know there will be more to come, but as a mom, I feel so helpless in those moments, when my words are not comforting and it is just one of the many life experiences to come. At least she is feeling better about moving into 1st grade. My little man is doing fine, he still enjoys being at home, but towards the end of the year, he would get mad that I would pick him up, so I think he will enjoy going all-day next year.
Our front landscaping is finally finished (for the most part). We are not done with the wine bottle border, we ran out of blue bottles so as soon as we get more blue bottles we can finish the border and we need quite a lot. I could go on more, but I have to get the kiddies to bed....
"A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life." - James Allen
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The weekend is over....already....
Is there a weekend for the weekend? It seems like lately we have been working in our yard and around the house that there is no time for relaxing. We've gotten a lot accomplished, most of our vegetables are in, however, we have a few more to plant. We've started a compost pile and the new front landscaping is finally finished. Yahoo....we put the last of the mulch down on Saturday. We still have the sides of the house and some planting in the back yard. I definitely look forward to once we are done and actually getting to reap the benefits of our hard work.
Yet, I'm sure there will be more projects that the hubby will add to our "do" list since he can't seem to sit still for long periods of time.
My sweet pea had her violin solo recital today and she is getting so good. We had been practicing pretty hard, but overall she performed great! She walked off the stage and said, I made a couple mistakes and I said did you hear anyone that didn't clap? And she said, no everyone clapped and I said well then don't worry because you did great.
Oh, and I hope everyone survived the "rapture," out of all that is and has been taking place in the world, it is sad that the media put such a frenzy into what this man thought, as it says in the bible, "no one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven..." and I don't believe we are suppose to know.
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams." a.smith
Yet, I'm sure there will be more projects that the hubby will add to our "do" list since he can't seem to sit still for long periods of time.
My sweet pea had her violin solo recital today and she is getting so good. We had been practicing pretty hard, but overall she performed great! She walked off the stage and said, I made a couple mistakes and I said did you hear anyone that didn't clap? And she said, no everyone clapped and I said well then don't worry because you did great.
Oh, and I hope everyone survived the "rapture," out of all that is and has been taking place in the world, it is sad that the media put such a frenzy into what this man thought, as it says in the bible, "no one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven..." and I don't believe we are suppose to know.
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams." a.smith
Monday, May 16, 2011
Would you do it.....
I'm watching the PBS Special on the Freedom Riders and my words can't express the emotions I am feeling. I vaguely remember learning about their journey in high school, but if I remember the civil rights movement was just a chapter in our history class. And as I watch this documentary, I find myself wondering, could I do it, would I have had the courage and guts to do what these individuals risked their lives doing, the non-violent statement they were making? And I don't know....part of me thinks, yes...but the other part of me is simply unsure.
And then I wonder why the civil rights movement is just a chapter in most high school history books, if it is even discussed at all.
I can't imagine treating another person the way these white people did, it is horrifying and are these people who committed these horrible actions remorseful? And does the younger generation really appreciate the groundwork that these silent hero's did for them? Yes, I'm not naive enough to pretend that racism doesn't exist, it does, however the difference now is that it is hidden, which is that any better? I don't know....
As a parent of two small children, I want my children to look past those differences regardless of the issue, I want my children to be compassionate towards their fellow being. No one should be made to feel they are inferior or less human and I struggle to grasp how others can be so blinded.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts on this powerful documentary and if you haven't seen it, you should.
"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men." - Abraham Lincoln
"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with the illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength." - August Wilson
And then I wonder why the civil rights movement is just a chapter in most high school history books, if it is even discussed at all.
I can't imagine treating another person the way these white people did, it is horrifying and are these people who committed these horrible actions remorseful? And does the younger generation really appreciate the groundwork that these silent hero's did for them? Yes, I'm not naive enough to pretend that racism doesn't exist, it does, however the difference now is that it is hidden, which is that any better? I don't know....
As a parent of two small children, I want my children to look past those differences regardless of the issue, I want my children to be compassionate towards their fellow being. No one should be made to feel they are inferior or less human and I struggle to grasp how others can be so blinded.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts on this powerful documentary and if you haven't seen it, you should.
"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men." - Abraham Lincoln
"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with the illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength." - August Wilson
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Happy Mother's Day.......
My kiddies gave me my mother's day present early, they each had a plant for me that they planted at school. And my little man says, "is it the best mother's gift ever?" and I of course, said yes. And then I said, "do you really want to know what the best gift ever is...." and his curious eyes widened and he said, "yes, what, what...." "you and sissy," I said. He smiled and gave me hug, and that is one reason I love being a mom. It is those innocent and simple moments that I cherish the most.
So of course it made me reflect on the day I first became a mother. I remember when I was pregnant that I had so many fears...would I be a good mother, would I know what to do...I had no motherly instincts would those kick in?
And of course, those instincts did....I don't know when it happened and perhaps it is just as you grow as a mom...from the first feedings, changing the poopy diapers, the first time they gaze into your eyes and squeeze your finger, to the first time they are sick...all of these moments adding up as you gain confidence in yourself. And then slowly with time, you change as a person...you grow from the individual you were before your children to the person you become after....and maybe it doesn't happen for everyone, but I can say I am a much better person after I had my children than I was before. They've taught me patience and my children make me want to be the best person I can be. I have more confidence in myself since having children, weird as it seems.
I'm not a size 6 anymore and I doubt I will ever again be that size again. I put my career on hold so I can raise my children and in turn had to make sacrifices, we changed our life for our children, but I've given birth to two most amazing, beautiful children who have changed my life for the better and I wouldn't change a thing.
I'm happy and proud of who I have become....I am a mother and I never fully understood certain things until I was blessed with mine. And I remember calling my mum one day and said, "I get it now....I didn't before, but I get it." So for me this day isn't a day for me, but rather a moment to reflect on what a privilege it is to be a mom....thank you to my babies for changing my views and me....I love ya!
And I can't really have a post without a special shout out to my mummers.....she has wiped my tears, given me kisses, scolded me, laughed with me, held my hand, shared stories, and much much more. I love you mom!
"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh
"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." ~Sophia Loren
"It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't." ~Barbara Kingsolver
So of course it made me reflect on the day I first became a mother. I remember when I was pregnant that I had so many fears...would I be a good mother, would I know what to do...I had no motherly instincts would those kick in?
And of course, those instincts did....I don't know when it happened and perhaps it is just as you grow as a mom...from the first feedings, changing the poopy diapers, the first time they gaze into your eyes and squeeze your finger, to the first time they are sick...all of these moments adding up as you gain confidence in yourself. And then slowly with time, you change as a person...you grow from the individual you were before your children to the person you become after....and maybe it doesn't happen for everyone, but I can say I am a much better person after I had my children than I was before. They've taught me patience and my children make me want to be the best person I can be. I have more confidence in myself since having children, weird as it seems.
I'm not a size 6 anymore and I doubt I will ever again be that size again. I put my career on hold so I can raise my children and in turn had to make sacrifices, we changed our life for our children, but I've given birth to two most amazing, beautiful children who have changed my life for the better and I wouldn't change a thing.
I'm happy and proud of who I have become....I am a mother and I never fully understood certain things until I was blessed with mine. And I remember calling my mum one day and said, "I get it now....I didn't before, but I get it." So for me this day isn't a day for me, but rather a moment to reflect on what a privilege it is to be a mom....thank you to my babies for changing my views and me....I love ya!
And I can't really have a post without a special shout out to my mummers.....she has wiped my tears, given me kisses, scolded me, laughed with me, held my hand, shared stories, and much much more. I love you mom!
"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh
"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." ~Sophia Loren
"It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't." ~Barbara Kingsolver
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Digging in the Dirt....
So, we took a risk and planted some of our plants late this afternoon...we've still been having some colder nights, but the forecast is suppose to be relatively nice. We are redesigning a portion of our front yard and so all our new plants are going there. We planted eight lavender plants and three hostas so far, I still have about 10 more plants to place in the ground, but considering we didn't start till after dinner, we were tuckered out.
We are also making wine bottle torches for the backyard and creating a wine bottle border in the front....I've put a request out for wine bottles...I estimated that I will need about 80 bottles for the ring around our tree and depending on how that looks we may extended it elsewhere. It will be time consuming because I will need to take the labels off the bottles and push each one into the ground without breaking, so it could get tricky, but I can't wait till we are all done with the front. We are also going to extend the little deck we have that is out front just by another five feet...so many landscaping projects this spring/summer, but I can't wait. I love digging in the dirt. I also can't wait to get our garden going, we have lots of lettuce, spinach, squash, peas, strawberries, and various herbs....I love this time of year!!!!!
Our community is having a plant exchange coming up, so I need to get some plants that we have dug up and put in some containers to exchange with others....such a great way to diversify your landscaping.
"You can bury a lot of troubles by digging in the dirt" - Unknown
We are also making wine bottle torches for the backyard and creating a wine bottle border in the front....I've put a request out for wine bottles...I estimated that I will need about 80 bottles for the ring around our tree and depending on how that looks we may extended it elsewhere. It will be time consuming because I will need to take the labels off the bottles and push each one into the ground without breaking, so it could get tricky, but I can't wait till we are all done with the front. We are also going to extend the little deck we have that is out front just by another five feet...so many landscaping projects this spring/summer, but I can't wait. I love digging in the dirt. I also can't wait to get our garden going, we have lots of lettuce, spinach, squash, peas, strawberries, and various herbs....I love this time of year!!!!!
Our community is having a plant exchange coming up, so I need to get some plants that we have dug up and put in some containers to exchange with others....such a great way to diversify your landscaping.
"You can bury a lot of troubles by digging in the dirt" - Unknown
Chicago in Spring
My friend invited me on a girls weekend getaway to Chicago to help celebrate her birthday. I was hesitant in going, not because it wasn't going to be fun, but it seems like there is so much to do at home and the simple fact that I would miss my little ones. Then I thought, my hubby has just gotten back from spending 30 days in New Zealand while I took care of things at home and the kids, why not and so I packed a weekend bag and off to Chicago I went.
We stayed right in the midst of downtown on Michigan Avenue and the weather was great. We relaxed in the hotel, ate good food, and then strolled to downtown shops and walked to Navy Pier. And I have to admit, Chicago was blooming, the city was beautiful. I can't wait to return.
The first thing I noticed was gas prices, it is already over $4.60 there, which is about a dollar more than here....it is shocking, however, the strange thing is that the media is not reporting anything on how high gas prices are shooting up, but I suppose when you are in a city such as Chicago, you don't need a car.
It was nice to get away even for a brief time, but like always it is nice to return home....even if the house was not as clean as I had left it.
"I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun." - Katherine Hepburn
We stayed right in the midst of downtown on Michigan Avenue and the weather was great. We relaxed in the hotel, ate good food, and then strolled to downtown shops and walked to Navy Pier. And I have to admit, Chicago was blooming, the city was beautiful. I can't wait to return.
The first thing I noticed was gas prices, it is already over $4.60 there, which is about a dollar more than here....it is shocking, however, the strange thing is that the media is not reporting anything on how high gas prices are shooting up, but I suppose when you are in a city such as Chicago, you don't need a car.
It was nice to get away even for a brief time, but like always it is nice to return home....even if the house was not as clean as I had left it.
"I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun." - Katherine Hepburn
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Eggs, Sangria, and Fun
It was a wonderful weekend indeed. We picked up some plants for the yard, we got eight lavender plants, which I can't wait to plant. It has been pretty chilly still, so we didn't plant anything, I'm itching to get in the dirt and go at it.
We took the kids to the local easter egg hunt and I was so proud of my little ones. The hunt starts right at 9:00 am and as people were leaving, a mother comes with two little boys and they were five minutes too late. So, my kids asked if they could give some of their eggs to the kids and I said sure and so they did. I was super proud of them!
Today, we celebrated Easter at my father-in-law's house and my parents came. It was a wonderful time, we ate so much food, drank sangria, and laughed so hard. The kids had fun with another easter egg hunt and then have a go with the pinata, it was so funny to watch the kids. Afterwards, we stopped at my mother-in-law's for another easter egg hunt and we saw an owl as we sat around the fire.
It was a fun-filled packed weekend and in need of another weekend to recover. I'm thankful for these moments with my family!
"Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless." ~Charles M. Crowe
We took the kids to the local easter egg hunt and I was so proud of my little ones. The hunt starts right at 9:00 am and as people were leaving, a mother comes with two little boys and they were five minutes too late. So, my kids asked if they could give some of their eggs to the kids and I said sure and so they did. I was super proud of them!
Today, we celebrated Easter at my father-in-law's house and my parents came. It was a wonderful time, we ate so much food, drank sangria, and laughed so hard. The kids had fun with another easter egg hunt and then have a go with the pinata, it was so funny to watch the kids. Afterwards, we stopped at my mother-in-law's for another easter egg hunt and we saw an owl as we sat around the fire.
It was a fun-filled packed weekend and in need of another weekend to recover. I'm thankful for these moments with my family!
"Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless." ~Charles M. Crowe
Monday, April 11, 2011
A story for her daddy....
My sweet pea read me the story she wrote for her daddy. It is titled, "Wen you wer gon" or "When you were gone." She has not conquered spelling, but then again she has only been six for about a month now, but I can read what she is intending to say. She is so excited to read it to him and it is so heartfelt, which is one of the many reasons I love my children. They are still at that age where they are not afraid to display their affection or emotions and I hope that doesn't change.
My sweet pea was informing of an incident that transpired at school and how hurt her feelings were, I told her she needs to be honest with her feelings. I said maybe that wasn't what she meant and so if you don't ask or tell them that it hurt or was bothersome then how is she to know? Of course, all advice I'm trying to conquer myself ;)
Anyway...back to her story...I will spare the misspellings and just type what her story says, so without any further thought interruptions, I present "When you were gone" by my sweet pea
"This is the day we were sad. And our hearts were empty without you.
We missed you when you were in New Zealand. I hope you had a great time in New Zealand.
I love you so much. You're the dad I love the best. I do not want to ask for another dad.
I love you more than a person loves a kid."
The End
So, that was her story....I asked her if she was trying to make her daddy cry and she said, "of course, I cried while he was gone." And I laughed and said, I suppose it is only fair. I will give her credit, in her notebook, she spelled New Zealand as Noosilind...gotta love it!
"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." - JM Barrie
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Lavender buds are a blooming
I was picking up some leaves and sticks in the yard and saw some new buds and the color coming back to my lavender plants. I'm definitely looking forward to the fresh smell of lavender and making the lavender sugar scrub and lavender cupcakes.
Yes, Spring is here...thank goodness Spring is here! Seeing all the new blossoms and rebirth of plants and trees is so awakening. I took the kids for a picnic and as we walked, we would try to see which plants had buds.
After we had our picnic, we came home and my sweet pea asked if she could have a "tea party" with us, so my little man, the dogs, and I huddled around her little table and it was just a wonderful moment.
I am so blessed! It is easy to caught up into everyday life and all the negative things going around that you forget all your blessings, especially with all the tragedies as the earthquakes, local shootings, and other media events, you have to be thankful for every moment you have. And with Spring in bloom, I'm going to restart the Random Acts of Kindness Campaign that I participated in last year...so tomorrow will be the start, not sure what I will do to kick it off, but I will think of something.
"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music." Angela Monet
Sunday, April 3, 2011
The Countdown is on....
So, we are officially counting the number of days left till my hubby returns. The kids are excited when I tell them the number, their smile turns into a huge grin of excitement and they talk about how they are going to make a whole bunch of signs.
I've definitely adjusted to his absence, but it doesn't lessen how much I miss him, which I do, there are times when I feel somewhat apathetic, but on the whole I can't wait for his return. The kids and I have been staying busy, which helps. I have no complaints, the kids are great, there is the occasional fighting and bickering, but overall I'm such a lucky mom. I've got two of the greatest kiddies ever! And I tell them all the time, how proud I am and how helpful they are since daddy is gone. We planted our herbs (they are indoors right now) and I think this week we'll grab some veggies and try to get a good head start on the seedlings that way when it's time to plant them outside we have plants vs seeds.
This weekend was super busy with play dates, speaking at a conference, travel to Iowa City to see family, and then more play dates. I was asked by the Transplant Coordinator by one of the hospitals to speak at a conference they had - I was the kickoff speaker to the event and I think I spoke for about five minutes and then they played the digital story I created during my MA program. I was a bit nervous and considering I didn't really know what I was going to say till the night before, I think I did well and didn't have my nose pressed to my notes. After, I spoke and they played the story, everyone clapped and some stood, a lot were crying and as I left, the transplant coordinator, just squeezed me. It was a neat experience and I was glad I did it, I'm honored they thought to ask me, especially when I feel like what I did wasn't anything that grand, there are stories like ours everywhere.
I'm hoping to hit the Omaha zoo with the kiddies before the hubby return as a special getaway treat, I just need to figure out when, so that will be next on our list.
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." - EB White
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Growing Up.....
My wee man celebrated his 5th birthday! And I can't believe it, he is five, I know I've said it before that it just goes by so fast, but seriously where did my baby go? I think I have mentioned in a prior post that he was our "surprise" baby and I'm so thankful for that. I definitely have a mentality of things happen for a reason whether we grasp it then or later and although I definitely wasn't prepared or ready for a second, we made it work and have been blessed with such a funny and caring little boy.
I'm super proud of him! And I want to freeze these moments, we are celebrating his birthday this weekend and so he kept asking, is it my "real" birthday or is this a "celebration" birthday and when I would say it was his "real" birthday, he would then say, well when is the celebration? And when daddy called via skype to sing him happy birthday, he said, "daddy, you've made my day," I think both the hubby and I cried.
So, it was a "yes" day yesterday, we went to Chuckie E Cheese, we ate cake, we read books, and they stayed up past their bedtimes to we watch movies (they made it through one and then fell asleep through the second one). And as my little man ended his day and was desperately trying to stay awake, he squeezed my arm and said, "thank you mommy for the best day ever." And I said, "no, thank you," to which he looks at me and says, "what did I do?" And I said, "for blessing me with you."
So, happy birthday little man, you gave me such worries before you even came into this world and even though I still get on edge with your daring antics, you are growing into a wonderful little boy!
"The spirit is there in every boy; it has to be discovered and brought to light." R. Baden-Powell
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Does absence make the heart grow fonder....
We are about a week into my hubby's trip and I was doing well, a wee sappy when he left, but I've tried to remain busy with the kids, work, pets, chickens, and the household chores. The kids have been great, of course, they miss "daddy" and bedtime is the hardest part. My little man said, "we just aren't a family with the three of us." My heart sank, so we use our imaginations and travel to see him. Yet, again, I try to keep them busy too. It definitely helps that we can "skype."
After the kids went to bed tonight and I finished folding the laundry, I decided to just rest, no work, spoiled myself with some television and just relaxed....and then it crept on me...the stillness in the house, no noise, except for Barney, the pug, snoring. The house just seems empty. As I've posted before, the hubby and I don't always make "us" a priority as it is easy to get caught up with everything else, that it is easy to pass up date nights or one-on-one time with each other than asking someone to watch the kids, so we just don't do it. And although I knew he would be gone for several weeks, I'm not sure I was quite ready for the emotions that have come with his absence. The last time we skyped, I started to break down, which I quickly tried to hide because I didn't want him to know that I was crying and tonight, I simply miss him. I miss hearing his voice, his crazy antics, and all of who he is.
I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't do well with a long distance relationship, but I know many people do. It gives you an appreciation for your relationship, especially coming from a military family and knowing my mom had to go sometimes six or nine months out of the year without my father or those who have partners currently overseas.
So I do think absence makes the heart grow fonder....at least for me...I'm looking forward to wrapping my arms around my hubby, showering him with kisses, and telling him how much I love him!
"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." - K. Gibran
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Aotearoa
Well today is the last day to blog for "blog4nz "and I hope that is has encouraged people to think about visiting, even after the earthquake. They had many people blogging on their behalf. As I was debating on what to post, I couldn't decide. There are truly many amazing and wonderful places to visit and for this to be my last post, it is hard to pick.
So, I've posted this slide show on previous posts, but I felt it was appropriate for this purpose as well. New Zealand holds a special place in my heart, regardless of how long I've been in the states, I still call it "home."
So, I've posted this slide show on previous posts, but I felt it was appropriate for this purpose as well. New Zealand holds a special place in my heart, regardless of how long I've been in the states, I still call it "home."
Aotearoa
They say it was fished from the sea,
Aotearoa,
land of the long white cloud.
The deep seas are calling me,
the mountains are howling my name, to come.
Home.
The land of my ancestors,
the land of my mother,
the land where I am from.
Beautiful with grace, that steals your breath away
runs through my soul, my heart, my blood
engulfs me like a wave of wonder
Home.
Oh, how the sea calls me
Oh, how the mountains howl for me to come,
and I so far away
can hear it loudly
Because I am your lost child
In a world not my own
And my soul yearns to break free,
back to Aotearoa
fished from the sea.
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