Losing Self

The past few weeks have been and continue to be a struggle and as thoughts of "what am I going to do" and the fear of uncertainty creeps in, I find I'm losing my self. I've become so engrossed in mental/emotional formations that I realized I'm losing the joy of life and it simply must stop.
I have to stop the incessant negative thoughts and worry - I feel like I'm going through this hard time for a purpose, whatever it may be, but I can't let it stop me from living a wondrous life. I have the most wonderful husband, who is everything a girl could wish for and two beautiful, healthly children, I feel foolish for feeling this way.

What is to come is greater and I don't know what it is, but I can feel it. I've just been ignoring it for a long time and I think I'm needing to go through this period of struggle to prepare me of what is to come, whatever that may be.

I'm sure I'm sounding like a mad woman, but sometimes you need to be awakened to truly see the greater force of being that is working and I'm tired of losing my self.

"You cannot become successful. You can only be successful." - Eckhart Tolle

Happy Birthday My Little Man

My little boy celebrated his 2nd birthday! We had a joint party for my two children since their birthdays are a year and 12 days apart, but it is such an awakening when you pause and reflect on the years and changes he has made.
Everyday he is talking more and more and it is becoming understandable, he is so different from his sister, he is my mr. mischief and can tear a room apart in a matter of seconds, I always know where he has been and where he is going as he leaves a trail.

He was our "surprise" baby as I don't think I would have planned my pregnancies so close together, but he has always been our joy and I really couldn't imagine having them any other way. I know he is the one who I'm going to "worry" about as I've been doing that since he tried to make his debut at 21 weeks, but thankfully we were able to push it back and he ended up only being about 5 weeks early.
He is my daredevil taking leaps from the ottoman onto the couch and then he is my snugglebug...I love how he looks at me and asks for a butterfly kiss or by saying, I wub (love) you!
There are moments I want to just be able to pause certain moments and forever keep them in my pocket because I know he is growing so fast and one day he will be off on his own, so I am always reminding myself to cherish these moments and soak them up, even though he is only 2, he is my little man.

Happy Birthday Bubba, a wish for much happiness! Love Mommy

"Outings are so much more fun when we can savor them through the children's eyes. " - Lawana Blackwell

My Sweet Pea is Growing

Well, my first-born celebrated her 3rd birthday and I got a bit weepy-eyed as I thought of her birth three years ago. I remember there was a point in the delivery that they thought I would need an emergency c-section, but thankfully the heart rate went up and I was able to deliver and feeling so blessed once the doctor said, you have a baby girl and they handed her to me. I was in complete awe and still am.
I can't believe that it has been three years and how she has grown from my little sweet pea to this talkative little girl full of big ideas, my little voice. I love the way she will break out into song just because it makes her happy or how she will ask, "Mommy, what letter does tiger start with?" Or how she will ask me to sing her the bellyache song even when she doesn't have a bellyache or when she runs into her room to put on her dress up clothes and pretends to be Cinderella or Mairead from the Celtic Woman.

There are so many times where I just pause and think how blessed I am, so I'm taking this time to say Happy Birthday my little voice and thank you for blessing our life with your beautiful presence!

"Family faces are magic mirrors looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future." -- Gail Lumet Buckley