Be Kind

A friend of mine invited me to attend a Conversations speaker series luncheon and the guest speaker was Marion Blumenthal Lazan, who is Holocaust survivor and wrote a memoir titled, "Four Perfect Pebbles." Listening to her, I had to fight back my tears - I've heard so many accounts, read stories and visited the Holocaust museum and it bothers me how this happened.
She shared her account, which if I remember was six years in prison camps, much of which was her early childhood years and shares a message a of respect and tolerance.
We now know how horrible and tragic the Holocaust was and often we think, something like that could never happen again, but yet even after all we have come to learn and understand from this time period there are worlds still at war, still punishing and killing groups of people because of religion. While I'm far away from all these conflicts; young girls being persecuted for wanting an education and men being captured and executed because of religion; it's easy to turn away and ignore these issues because it seems so removed, but are we not all connected to one another?
Or does removing ourselves just make it easier to pretend these problems don't exist? My sweetpea is reading "The Diary of Anne Frank," and she asked me how people allowed that to happen and I couldn't answer her. She then asked me, could it happen again and I said yes, it could and in some places it still does, but I reminded her that there is still good in the world.
And that is what Marion continued to repeat at the luncheon, "Be kind, be good, respect one another," and how simple her message is and easy of a concept, but so difficult to practice.

Just for a moment, think of those words....Be kind......Be good......Respect on another.......yet how often do we see this reflected in our daily lives, television, radio, and the internet? How often do we see people pitted against one another (Republicans vs Democrats, this religion against that religion, sister vs brother, fat vs skinny). We are surrounded by hurtful and demeaning messages that eventually we become so use to this, we grow apathetic and just accept it. We are shocked by "random acts of kindness," when in reality we should be shocked by what we have accepted as everyday messages.

I will share Marion's story with my children with hopes that they take her message to heart, but they hear it all the time....
I tell my children every day as I drop them off at school, "Be kind to someone today," they get tired of me saying it everyday and one day my wee man said, but what if they are unkind to us and I replied, well that is when that person needs it the most. I suppose if I can pass anything down to my children, it would be the importance of being kind and compassionate because as easy as the acts are, they are some of the most difficult.

“If you can cultivate the right attitude, your enemies are your best spiritual teachers because their presence provides you with the opportunity to enhance and develop tolerance, patience and understanding.” - Dalai Lama

"I do believe we're all connected. I do believe in positive energy. I do believe in the power of prayer. I do believe in putting good out into the world. And I believe in taking care of each other." - Harvey Fierstein

When I see a daisy, I will think of you......

Yesterday, the hubs spent the day saying his goodbyes to his grandma, she passed away in the afternoon. It is always hard to lose someone regardless of how long they lived, death is never easy. I  had kept the kids home, so when we got the call that she was not likely going to make it. I spoke with the kids and we talked about going up and being with the rest of the family during this difficult time. The kids said no, they broke down and said they didn't want to remember like that and knew they would remember her that way and my sweet pea said, "I want to remember her smile like she did on her birthday,"which was just about a week ago.
I couldn't argue with the kids, I desperately wanted to be there for my husband, but they had a point, so I didn't make them go, but every 15 minutes we would pause, hold hands, share our fondest memories and send positive, comforting thoughts and prayers to our family who was with her as well as for Grandma. The kids would cry and I would try to comfort them in the best way I could - telling them that it is okay to cry.

She was a wonderful lady and over the years I don't think I ever heard a compliant or anything negative, she always smiled. Even when she went to the nursing home, she never complained. I remember one afternoon we came to visit and you could tell she was run down, she smiled and said, I would like to go home, but I can't complain because every one is so nice here. And it is so easy to get caught up with life and all the negativity that complaining becomes effortlessly - looking at the positive side of things is a great lesson to pass on.

I remember the first time I went to Florida with the hubs for his cousin's wedding and one afternoon everyone was out and it was just the grandparents, Darren, and me. We played cards with his grandparents (the girls won) and she talked about how the secret to a long life was a teaspoon of honey and apple cider vinegar.  We then we to lunch with them and hit a flea market, it was a wonderful day and even though Darren and I were dating, she made me feel included.

Death is hard - for me I believe it is not the end, but it doesn't make it easier and for me losing the hubby's grandmother reminds me of the pain I felt when I lost my grandfathers and my nana and then guilt that I haven't seen my other nana in a few months, so I need to call her and tell her I love her.

When the hubs called to tell us that she passed, we broke down and sweetpea said, "can I paint my nails purple?" And then my wee man chimed in, "me too?" So, we ended up painting all of our nails purple in honor of Grandma. The kids shared their memories and both said, "every time I see a daisy, I will think of you." You lived a wonderful life and I'm blessed to have been a small part of it. RIP

“I am always saddened by the death of a good person. It is from this sadness that a feeling of gratitude emerges. I feel honored to have known them and blessed that their passing serves as a reminder to me that my time on this beautiful earth is limited and that I should seize the opportunity I have to forgive, share, explore, and love. I can think of no greater way to honor the deceased than to live this way.” - Steve Maraboli



“Whoever said that loss gets easier with time was a liar. Here's what really happens: The spaces between the times you miss them grow longer. Then, when you do remember to miss them again, it's still with a stabbing pain to the heart. And you have guilt. Guilt because it's been too long since you missed them last.” - Kristin O'Donnell Tubb