February is my birthday month and I'm hitting a big number (at least for me it is a big number). It's smack in the middle of my thirties, no longer can I say I'm in my early thirties and now I am closer than ever creeping to my forties.
The weird thing is I'm not sad about growing older because I still feel young and I feel like I am healthier than I have ever been, so I'm not yearning for my younger years or nervously biting my nails with impending dread or denial as I age.
I don't yearn for those younger days because in all reality, I was insecure of myself for most of my teenage years clear till (speaking truthfully) when I became a mother. It was only then when my body experienced so many changes that I slowly was becoming more confident in who I was. As you age, you grow, and as you grow, you learn.
Here I am at a point in my life where I am completely comfortable with who I am and even comfortable in my own skin. I am happy and content with all that I have in my life, which I feel has only come with growing older. I have learned to let go of past hurts, because ultimately it takes up room in my heart and I want my heart to be full of joy instead of full of sorrow for things I can not change. And the biggest thing I have learned thus far is that really the only person you can change is yourself, if you are not happy, no one can change that but yourself.
What I'm still working on is slowing down, I see my children growing so quickly before my eyes and sometimes I wonder where did the time go? So, I'm trying (really trying) to enjoy each day as it comes because they say, the days are long, but the years are shorter and how true it is. So, I try not to feel guilty if I take some time to enjoy those life moments, but there are times when I definitely need reminders to stop and pause.
So, as I ramble on and get back to my post, last year as it dawned on me that I would be hitting 35, I thought how can I celebrate this birthday milestone? I don't need anything, and there isn't anything I want, so what can I do? Then I read about a lady who did acts of kindness and I thought how wonderful and so I jotted the idea down as a possibility.
And most recently a FB friend celebrated her birthday by completing acts of kindness as well, so I knew that this was something I wanted to do.
Everyday I feel blessed for all that I have, my children are healthy and so fun to be with, my partner is the greatest person I could ever share this journey with, and I have all that I could ever want.
Sometimes I wonder how did I become so deserving?
And so how I can I spread a little joy to others? Well my plan of attack is to try to accomplish 35 random acts of kindness by my birthday with the hopes of bringing a little joy to others.
I have somewhat of a limited budget, so I plan to do some things that will most likely require some money and other acts that are free.
Any thoughts or ideas you have, please feel free to give. At the end of my journey, I will post a recap of all the things I have done and anything I have learned from this.
And of course, I wouldn't be here without my parents, so I have to
somehow think of something I can do for my parents that is different
than stuff I have done before....
With today kicking off this project, I gave some money to the clerk at a local cafe after we paid for our lunch and I said to use it to the next persons purchase. He said, "really, great." Then about three minutes afterwards, a younger lady walked up to our table and said, "that was really kind of you, thank you so much."
I have some ideas of the next things I plan to do, just need to start acting on them.
“Your face is marked with lines of life, put there by love and laughter, suffering and tears. It's beautiful.” - Lynsay Sands
