It's A Go.....

I heard from the transplant team that I have been accepted as a living kidney donor for my mother. So, the procedure will be scheduled in the fall, possibly September '09 as I graduate from my master's program in August and I just want to wait till I finish that way it is one less thing to worry about. If by chance my mom needs the surgery sooner then by all means I would agree to the procedure.

I'm excited and I know I have a lot of planning to do to get everything in order with the kids and making it so Darren doesn't have to take that much time off work because I don't think we would be able to financially make it if he has to take six weeks off to care for me and the kids. I've been diligent about exercising and getting healthier that way my recovery will (hopefully) be quick, the transplant coordinator said that recovery can be anywhere from three to six weeks, so I'm hoping for the three, but will plan for six.

I have thought about "what if" my mom rejects my kidney and if that happens well, at least I did what I could and if I did nothing and something happened to my mom, there would always be the thought that I could have done something and didn't....so I know that the possibility exists that it won't work, but I also know that the same possibility exists for it to work and that is what I will focus on.
Any way, I wanted to share my big news - I'll post more closer to the procedure date so those who read this can keep me in their thoughts!

Blessed Be!

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." - Albert Einstein

Witnessing History

Yes, if you are not living in a cloud you know that today was the inauguation day for President Obama and although I did not vote for him, I am moved and proud and only hope that he holds true to what he says.
I may not agree with his plans for this country, but he is giving people hope as well as bringing people together and you have to be proud for that. I also know that this man is going to be facing probably one of his toughest times, as the world is holding some high expectations of him and is this really fair, would we be holding these high standards of someone else. Only time will tell if he holds true and really is the Hope and Change we have been waiting for, but today I celebrate the moment and can appreciate the greatness of this moment.

Reconnecting shouldn't be so hard....

I broke down and spilled my guts to my hubby that I was starting to think our relationship was heading for trouble...I knew he would either think the same or think I was crazy. And although he doesn't think it is in TROUBLE, he did mention that it is awkward when we go on "dates" which is like every three or four months, which I don't even know how that happened, but I do. I simply let it become okay that we didn't go out because typically it is my parents who watch the kids and I feel bad asking them all the time, so we didn't go out unless it was something big.

And last month we went out for a date night and although we had fun, the awkwardness was pretty thick and I wanted to cry afterward - I couldn't believe that we had gotten to this point, that we allowed it to happen, but I don't think either one of us realized it because we enjoy spending time with our kids, so we would do fun activities with them and I think somehow I accepted that we didn't really need date nights and when we did go out, we were typically with friends or we went to a movie, so again, it didn't seem awkward - until we went out alone and it wasn't a movie. I had no idea what to talk about because we didn't want to talk about the kids and since I'm a stay at home mom....what else can I talk about?! It was pretty sad and so I try to think back when we were young and dating, but it seems so long ago and distant. I know we held hands more often, we kissed more often, we joked more often, and we were silly way too often.

So we talked and I cried - I think it was a big wake up call for the two of us and he said he will try harder and I will too. I think sometimes as parents it is easy to allow it to happen and then you realize that you've lost the relationship that you once had with your significant other and it is hard reconnecting. I'm definitely not as young as I once was and now I have cellulite in places that I didn't have before kids and as much as I try to exercise it isn't going away...errr!
And I know that he loves as I do for him, which is why we are going to try and have regular date nights, kiss more often, hold hands when we are out, and add a little more silliness to our relationship because we don't want to lose each other and nothing worth fighting for comes easy. Now, I need to line up a sitter.....


"All of us are born with the need to share our lives with someone.
During the years
the fulfillment of this need can be the cause
of constant concern and occasional pain.
For it can't be fulfilled by one person
reaching,
but only when two are willing
to meet halfway." - Javan

Happy New Year

It's official, it is definitely a new year, new beginnings as we reflect on the happenings of the past year. I look forward to 2009 with many things already in the works: an upcoming birth, weddings, graduation, preschool, and my big 3-0 (oh, boy, is it really so), so I am trying my best to get fit this year. I'm not concerned about weight, because in the past I have focused my attention on losing weight and then I always end up getting mad and throwing in the towel, so this year, my focus is simply getting fit, mainly because if we proceed with the kidney transplant, the better shape my body is in from eating better and staying fit, I figure my recovery will be a bit better.

So here is to 2009, may it be filled with joy, laughter, and prosperity and little loss.

"Ring out the old, ring in the new,

Ring, happy bells, across the snow:

The year is going, let him go;

Ring out the false, ring in the true."~Alfred, Lord Tennyson,