He's Smiling

My little man had his inguinal hernia repair surgery today. We got off to a bumpy start, he snagged a few blueberries from his sister's breakfast. When we got to the hospital and I told the nurse, they ended up delaying the surgery an hour and a half, but then then they took him back around 10:00 am and he was done in about 50 minutes, went to recovery for 20 minutes and then we were allowed back there. The surgeon stated that the hernia was quite large, so it was probably a good thing we did this when we did. It was so cute though, as soon as we walked back, he looked so cute and cuddly, I just wanted to jump in the chair with him, he cried a little once we saw him because he wanted his IV out.
The doctor said he was indeed a trooper and that we could go home, we got home and my little man napped for several hours. When he awoke, he was all smiles and was quite happy for the rest of the night, I'm so proud of him. I need to make a follow-up appointment to make sure it is healing properly. My sweet pea got to spend the day with our friends Jami and Jim, she had a full day of activities and didn't want to come home, they indeed spoiled her. She went ice skating for the first time with them and they said that she did a great job, she now wants to take ice skating. So, I'm going to have a long list of lessons - violin, irish dancing, ice skating, and singing - man...for now we will stick with the violin lessons.
Our thanksgiving was wonderful, my mom came for dinner and we were all thankful that she was with us and out of the hospital, she had to do her treatment at the house, but having her home is a breath of fresh air and now that my little man's surgery is over - I can definitely breathe. I didn't sleep at all last night and almost contemplated going out to face the black Friday crowds, but I opted to stay in.
Anyway, it has been a busy, full couple days, but ones that I am most thankful for and blessed.

Blessings

I am blessed and I know I've blogged about my blessings in the past, but I have to remind myself this daily, it keeps things in perspective.
My mother is doing better, the infection has not spread to her brain which is what we were most concerned about - we don't know when she will be coming home, but we are not pushing it either. I'm thankful that this time she got doctors who took charge and acted quickly on her behalf.
The kids and I are starting something new, it was an idea I saw on another blog I've been reading, where each week will consist of a letter, number and activities will focus on that, so for this week - the letter is "T" and the number is "4." Today, we cut strips of construction paper and glue pieces together to make the lowercase "t" and the uppercase "T" - we also made a triangle and looked at what words we say that begin with the letter "T" - I told them that since it was the week of Thanksgiving - we would start our day by saying what we are thankful for.
My LV said she was thankful for always helping her mommy set the table and my little man said he was thankful for helping his daddy. We will make a turkey tomorrow and read a book about Thanksgiving, it should be fun.
My little man's surgery is at the end of the week and this morning I took him in for his preop appointment, I know the surgery will go fine, I just worry about the anesthesia - so please keep him in your thoughts on Friday. I told him he could bring something that comforts him and he decided to bring his Hulk blanket, he doesn't really have a cuddle toy or anything like that and when I said I was thinking something more along the lines of a stuffed toy, he said, "but my Hulk blanket keeps me nice and warm and is cuddly." Okay - you sold me.
I also want to take a moment to express my gratitude to Melinda and Andrew for taking our family photos a couple weeks ago, they offered to take photos for us after my surgery and we just got around to doing it a couple weeks ago, so thank you for being patient with me and giving us the opportunity - we had a wonderful time and the pictures are great!

Anyway, may this week be filled with joy and laughter and you be filled with many blessings, such as I.

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." ~Thornton Wilder

Rest

I don't believe my mother has been given that chance since the transplant and with each day that passes, I begin to feel like the surgery was a mistake. I know, how can I possibly think that, but my mom is back in the hospital (Round 3) with norcardia infection. She was in a few weeks ago with some type of lung infection, the doctors discharged her without really knowing what it was, she was home about 9 days and went back in on Sunday, she was getting weaker and her breathing was shorter. On Wednesday, the doctors told us that is was norcardia infection and that it can be quite dangerous, it hits people with low immune systems and hits the lungs first and then goes to other parts of the body, such as the brain, skin, kidneys, etc...
Her doctor feels confident that they got it in time, but they scheduled a CAT/MRI scan of her brain to make sure it didn't travel there.
One of the greatest attributes of my mother is her courage and strength - as I've grown up, it has always been a quality I have admired. I, however, tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve, my mother always called me a sensitive soul and I'm trying hard to be strong for her because I know she is tired. She told me that she wasn't sure how much more she could take, she was tired of fighting, she is exhausted - I reminded her that was foolish and she doesn't know how not to fight, it is part of who she is.
So I see her going through all of this and I blame myself for her current state, if we hadn't had the surgery she wouldn't have had a compromised immune system. She would be on dialysis, but at least she would be healthy and ever since the transplant, it has been one thing after another. She's had no opportunity to enjoy life with the new kidney and people tell me what a wonderful thing I did, but so far we have not been given the chance to absorb the significance of the transplant. I'm angry and I know that as well as the fact that I have to let the anger pass as I realize that I'm being selfish. It's hard to know what she has gone through in the last 15 years, and it continue to be a struggle for her, so yes, I'm being selfish.
The antibiotics that they are giving her are so strong that there is a chance it may damage the kidney, seriously, hasn't my mother gone through enough.
So today I pray that she will fight, that she will get well and that she will be able to enjoy the kidney. I also pray for strength and courage because I need to be strong not only for my mother, but for my children, who ask me daily when is their nanny coming home. Blessed Be

"You may be capable of great things, but life consists of small things." - 365 Days of Tao

What a Wonderful Day

Could it get any better?

The weather was absolutely gorgeous and so I took the opportunity to stay outdoors. The hubs was still out of town working, so the kids and I went out for a nature walk. We made a list of items: yellow leaves, orange leaves, red leaves, brown leaves, acorns, pine cones, dried flowers, pods, and fairies.
My Sweet Pea added the fairies and alas we didn't find any, but we went to Neal Smith Wildlife Refuge in Prairie City and had a great afternoon. We packed a lunch and just enjoyed the outdoors, the kids had a great time looking for animal tracks and it simply couldn't have gotten any better (well having the hubs there would have been since he can identify prairie plants and explain why they burnt the prairies).
I love Autumn, I love the color, the sounds, the smells - it is simply divine and I'm so glad my little ones enjoyed the day as much as I did.
After we did our nature walk, we went and got some craft supplies that I was out of so we could use everything we have been collecting over the past couple days. So, what did we make....Autumn Crowns - the kids glued/taped their "findings" onto some poster board and we made crowns - the kids said they will be wearing it for the next couple days, so I better follow their steps sweeping up broken foliage.

"Autumn wins you best by this, its mute appeal to sympathy for its decay." - Robert Browning

My Little Man

I found out last week that my youngest needs to have surgery. I kept noticing that he had somewhat of a bulge that would come/go around his little boy parts and when this happened he would complain that he was hurting, so finally I said something to the doctor. He was examined and they assumed it was a inguinal hernia, but sent me to a specialist, so after dealing with all of that and ultrasounds, it was finally confirmed that it was a congenital inguinal hernia.

Inguinal hernia is when sometimes the entrance of the inguinal canal does not close as it should just after birth, leaving a weakness in the abdominal wall. Fat or part of the small intestine slides through the weakness into the inguinal canal, causing a hernia.

So, surgery has been schedule and hopefully they will repair it. They said if they get an open date between now and the surgery he will move it up. I'm glad that it is nothing major, but it's still surgery and the doctor didn't give me an understanding as to whether or not it will be done laparospocic or open hernia repair, they said they would send me more information soon. The doctor did say that it is minor and he should recover fine, but it is still my baby boy and I'd rather go through it then have him. I have to remind myself that my little man is "The Hulk" as he continually says, so I should have no worries.