He then surprised me with dinner plans later that evening at one of my favorite restaurants and part of me felt bad because I didn't plan a single thing. I did surprise him with a gift, but I assumed we would be so tired after the clean-up that if we did dinner, it would be with the kids and just tossing some things together, so I felt spoiled. He also surprised me by having my wedding bands redesigned, I'm nervous because my rings have been a part of me for 12 years, but I'm excited to see what the design will be. He definitely was full of surprises this year.
As the years go by, you think marriage wouldn't be a surprise any more, and the more I realize how marriage constantly changes...you are never prepared for the journey it takes you. After several years, I think it will just get easier (and some years it is), but then sometimes it is harder and so you have to find a balance of what is working and what's not.
I keep trying to think that after twelve years I would have some grand knowledge, but I don't. We have our problems, our issues, our insecurities that come and go regardless of how long we have been together. Of course I get mad at him, he gets mad at me, but over these years I see the both of us changing and growing from the young kids we were and how life is shaping us. We change and I think that is important, if we refused to grow and change from who we were 12 years ago, then of course things would be hard. And I'm glad that I have someone who is willing to be part of my life and grow with me.
What I have learned is that marriage is all about giving because regardless of the issues or things going on, it is a constant giving by both individuals and it never ends, and sometimes it is not always 50/50....that's right, sometimes over the course of different periods in our life one of us is giving more than the other and that will always be the case, but as long as we are team and both support what is going on, it works. And the other thing I look at, is at the end of the day, who do I want standing next to me in this journey of life and always it is my love. When we were at dinner, I said, "does it really seem like 12 years, because I feel like it hasn't been that long?" He responded that indeed it doesn't....then I said something like, I don't know if that is good or bad and we laughed.
I've ever grateful for this man and love him more than I could ever express. He really makes me feel as if there is nothing that we can't do. I think of what we have accomplished in these short 12 years that I can't wait for what's in store......
“I told you. You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand.” - LJ Smith
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
― Khalil Gibran
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