Hidden

Sometimes life can be so overwhelming that everything seems hidden - even if it is right before your eyes. This summer has been a wonderful, full of decisions journey. We listed our home for sale by owner, have shown it a few times, but no offers, which is okay with me. We really don't know where we are going, so I feel when the time is right, the opportunity will present itself.
I passed on a job opportunity with a great company - I was honest with them in my decision making and the timing was just not right. I enjoy what I do and I enjoy the people I work with - sometimes change may present itself, but I say only go into it if your heart is in it. The kids start school in a matter of weeks and where or what we did is beyond me - we are planning a trip the week before the kids go back, but it seems like summer went and came in the blink of an eye.
I recently watched a film on Netflix, titled Life in a Day, which was a series of video clips selected from 80,000 clips submitted to Youtube, showing respective occurrences from around the world on a single day, July 24, 2010. The strange thing was I watched it on July 24th - without a thought until I realized halfway through the date. It was fun to watch and made me feel a bit sad for the turmoil of what is taking place in Gaza with Israel and Palestine - there is no winner in situations like that. I clearly remember being in 5th and 6th grade when I became aware there was turmoil in the Middle East and the conflict of there and thinking how great it would be to have peace one day and that it could be accomplished, "if only they knew...," but unfortunately politicians run the world and peace is not profitable. The amount of money the US government is sending in "aid," is astounding. And I don't have a side - I stand with Israel, but not its actions and I stand with the Palestine. I often find myself what type of world we are leaving for our children, what lessons will they learn? As a child, I clearly remember the day when I realize my great nanny was ashamed of her skin color and how sad that made me feel because in my eyes she was a beautiful woman and it stuck with me and I remember growing up thinking that "I" could change the world....we participated in events like "farm aid" and "hands across America" and I think it was events like those, that lead me to believe that one day things would be different...one day people would realize the value of a person's life - would see beyond...wouldn't life be grand....imagine.
And now I have children of my own, and I am starting to doubt humanity - what are we leaving them? Food that is polluted with chemicals and toxins, a water supply that we treat as our personal dumping grounds, the killing of animals without thought of the consequences and treating life as if it is nothing. I feel as if I am becoming jaded....which is ironic because personally life is wonderful, but I struggle with what is the impact that I am leaving my children.  My hubby organizes a local stream clean up on an annual basis and each year the number of people who participates grows and I think it is great, but is it making an impact? We often get tied up in our own world that we overlook what life might be like for someone else and in today's world with the resources we have, we should be in a better place and we are not. We are taking everything for granted, yet what do we do? For myself, I try to be a good role model for my children, but I don't know if that is enough? It's weird because we are connected digitally, but often I feel ever more hidden.


“You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”- John Lennon