Today, we learned of the horrible tragedy that unfolded at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut. My sweetpea was home from school because she has the flu, but my little man was at school and it took every inch of me not to go down and pull him out, not because I felt he was unsafe, but because my heart broke and I just wanted my children close to me.
I can not fathom what goes through a person's mind, what breaks inside them that they find it necessary to commit such violent acts against innocent people, especially children and then instead of explaining themselves, they take the cowardly way out by shooting themselves because on some level they know what they have done is horrible and can't face the consequences. It is nothing but heartbreaking.
And I'm not going to say I understand what these families are going through or try to imagine the pain, because I can't, I don't understand, and when I do I break down. What bothers me most is within hours of these types of tragedies the political pundits and media outlets are quick to turn the focus of these events to gun control and banning guns, yet communities that are involved in these tragedies are still comprehending what the f*** just happened and are left picking up the shattered pieces while they are just beginning to grieve.
I don't feel strongly one way or the other towards the gun control issues, what I wonder about is the underlying cause. And no, Mr. Huckabee these crimes don't happen because the lack of religion in school and it was shameful to say just hours after what happened.
We as a collective society can point fingers all day as to what we think happened and why, but we don't know why.
As a society, we can remove the guns, but someone who has broke mentally in a way like this man did and others in the past, that is not going to stop them from harming others. The gun is the tool used to express their hate, anger and other troubling emotions, remove it and they will find another tool unfortunately.
Do people honestly feel banning guns will prevent these tragedies? Or what if we actually provided the mental health these people really need besides drugging them up on psychiatric drugs where side effects are aggression, mania, hallucinations, etc....It is a vicious cycle and I'm sorry for all involved. This is an interesting article....what do you think?
I would like to start a project. My goal is to gather fabric and have the kids write messages of hope, encouragement, condolence's of the pieces and then string them all together like a prayer flag and send to the school. I'm sorry to the children and adults who died, the children who witnessed this tragedy and the community that will be picking up these pieces. Kia Kaha (stay strong).
"Our country is grieving. Each child who has
been slaughtered belongs to each of us and each slain adult is a member
of our family. It is impossible to explain the horror to ourselves and
to our survivors. We need to hold each other’s hands and look into each
other’s eyes and say, “I am sorry.”" - Maya Angelou
Friday, December 14, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
Quick Holiday Project
So, we still have plenty of cabinet door and drawer faces that we need to upcycle or do something with, so I painted one of the drawer faces a reddish color and then grabbed some of the cheap ornaments glued them on some cloths pins and now have a great holiday photo board.
The paint, we had on hand, and I actually purchased the ornaments after Christmas last year, so the total cost for this project was under $1 and now I have a nice holiday wall hanging.
The paint, we had on hand, and I actually purchased the ornaments after Christmas last year, so the total cost for this project was under $1 and now I have a nice holiday wall hanging.
The below image is just after painting the drawer face red
This is what it looks like after gluing the ornaments on
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Gratitude.....
Yes, in the midst of November the month of gratitude and shopping deals, what a combination. Be thankful for what you have, but remember doors open at midnight (or 8pm, as it is this year) and go crazy shopping.
A lot has transpired this year and like most years, I typically wait till the start of a new year to reflect on all that has happened, but I think November is just as good as any time.
Gradually, I am working on not getting so hung up about those issues that tend to put me into an emotional state, because ultimately I have no control over it, so why let my blood pressure rise or stress myself out over something I cannot control, it is useless and is more trouble than it is worth. Often times, what I find myself in afterwards is a state of depression and for people who have never struggled with depression it is easy to say, "don't be sad, mad, upset, or whatever word they tend to say....be happy!" If that were only the case.....unless you've been in that dark, numbing hole of depression regardless of what you want, everything else in your mind is telling you the opposite, it is like you are Alice falling into Wonderland...there may not be a purpose to the pain you feel, but the pain is real, the suffering is real,and it will strike before you even comprehend what the hell happened. In the midst of talking with friends, having a wonderful time and then suddenly the overwhelming sense of loneliness and you are not quite sure, but you know that you don't want people to look at you because the tears are going to gush out, you don't want to speak or open your mouth because you are afraid, you want to hide, but you don't move, you smile and laugh even though you feel broken, misplaced.
So, yes, after all the hubbub of several incidents, on top of life's responsibilities, I found myself in a state of depression that I had not been in quite some time.
I know I suffer from depression, it runs in the women of my family for as long as probably anyone can go back too, my great-grandmother killed herself when my nanny was only a small girl, two years old, I believe. My nanny has no memories of her mother and often I would think about this woman, who left her young children and why, what was so horrible that she had to escape life from, what was her suffering or agony that pushed her to that level that death seemed more alluring or more of an escape. There is that thin veil with depression that sometimes death seems logical, but if you don't understand it, then I think that is where people feel trapped or pushed and result in such acts. Depression hit me when I was 14 and I didn't understand it, I struggled with similar thoughts, until you realize what it is you are dealing with. And underneath it I know that my life is so much more than the ball of nothingness that tries to wash over me.
I have also tried to learn and understand my triggers and writing helps reason with my internal self, it draws the negative out so I realize the positive, the beauty in the ugly. It is the letting go that I struggle with and need working on, but I think I am making progress.
I wish I could say that depression was not something I struggled with, but it is and for the most part it is something I don't have to deal with very often because I know what I have and my love of my children and family is stronger, the memories of the good are stronger than any negative projections. And even when I don't want to pick myself up out of bed, I do. I am grateful for today and I debated heavily on whether or not to blog about this topic, but I know there are a lot of people who suffer from depression and feel like they have to hid or be ashamed and I don't quite understand that. So, this is for you, who struggle as well. We all have our moments, but you have to remember that it feels better to stand in the sunshine than in the depths of the shadows.
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” – Buddha
A lot has transpired this year and like most years, I typically wait till the start of a new year to reflect on all that has happened, but I think November is just as good as any time.
Gradually, I am working on not getting so hung up about those issues that tend to put me into an emotional state, because ultimately I have no control over it, so why let my blood pressure rise or stress myself out over something I cannot control, it is useless and is more trouble than it is worth. Often times, what I find myself in afterwards is a state of depression and for people who have never struggled with depression it is easy to say, "don't be sad, mad, upset, or whatever word they tend to say....be happy!" If that were only the case.....unless you've been in that dark, numbing hole of depression regardless of what you want, everything else in your mind is telling you the opposite, it is like you are Alice falling into Wonderland...there may not be a purpose to the pain you feel, but the pain is real, the suffering is real,and it will strike before you even comprehend what the hell happened. In the midst of talking with friends, having a wonderful time and then suddenly the overwhelming sense of loneliness and you are not quite sure, but you know that you don't want people to look at you because the tears are going to gush out, you don't want to speak or open your mouth because you are afraid, you want to hide, but you don't move, you smile and laugh even though you feel broken, misplaced.
So, yes, after all the hubbub of several incidents, on top of life's responsibilities, I found myself in a state of depression that I had not been in quite some time.
I know I suffer from depression, it runs in the women of my family for as long as probably anyone can go back too, my great-grandmother killed herself when my nanny was only a small girl, two years old, I believe. My nanny has no memories of her mother and often I would think about this woman, who left her young children and why, what was so horrible that she had to escape life from, what was her suffering or agony that pushed her to that level that death seemed more alluring or more of an escape. There is that thin veil with depression that sometimes death seems logical, but if you don't understand it, then I think that is where people feel trapped or pushed and result in such acts. Depression hit me when I was 14 and I didn't understand it, I struggled with similar thoughts, until you realize what it is you are dealing with. And underneath it I know that my life is so much more than the ball of nothingness that tries to wash over me.
I have also tried to learn and understand my triggers and writing helps reason with my internal self, it draws the negative out so I realize the positive, the beauty in the ugly. It is the letting go that I struggle with and need working on, but I think I am making progress.
I wish I could say that depression was not something I struggled with, but it is and for the most part it is something I don't have to deal with very often because I know what I have and my love of my children and family is stronger, the memories of the good are stronger than any negative projections. And even when I don't want to pick myself up out of bed, I do. I am grateful for today and I debated heavily on whether or not to blog about this topic, but I know there are a lot of people who suffer from depression and feel like they have to hid or be ashamed and I don't quite understand that. So, this is for you, who struggle as well. We all have our moments, but you have to remember that it feels better to stand in the sunshine than in the depths of the shadows.
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” – Buddha
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Upcycling.....it's fun, no really, it is...
Well we have a ton of cabinet doors...we are not remodeling, but we inherited them and once we realized the doors were not the right size for our cabinets, we were not sure what we were going to do.
Thank you jellybeans and pixie dust for the Internet because where else could you type in "cabinet door" projects to find an abundance of ideas at your finger tips. And that is exactly what we did....
There are several more projects that I have ideas for and not to mention more cabinet doors to use, but as soon as those are done, I will post pictures. There is nothing more exciting than looking at something and realizing there are thousand other ways to use it.....
Thank you jellybeans and pixie dust for the Internet because where else could you type in "cabinet door" projects to find an abundance of ideas at your finger tips. And that is exactly what we did....
This is our cabinet door upcylced "kids art/activity" desk, pretty neat, don'tcha' think?
The top has a chalkboard front so the little ones can write, scribble, or doodle....
And then, open it up and peek inside.....
a small space for paper and pens/pencils/markers
There are several more projects that I have ideas for and not to mention more cabinet doors to use, but as soon as those are done, I will post pictures. There is nothing more exciting than looking at something and realizing there are thousand other ways to use it.....
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
I voted....did you?
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed I awoke this morning eager to get out and cast my vote (well not exactly more like rainy, chilly, and wet I stepped out) and went to my polling place. The kiddies tagged along, watching over my shoulder to see who I was going to vote for, who would it be?
I am actually tired of hearing about the election, in my opinion neither of the two major party candidates were ideal choices and thus it becomes a question of the lesser of two evils.
I downloaded each of the candidates plans, watched the debates, but both seem phony, full of exaggerations, lies, and promises neither will be held accountable for. I watched as both parties use scare tactics, bullying, and half-truths to try and sway voters. Friends hashing it out over this or that.
I had one woman tell me it was my duty as a woman to vote for Obama because god forbid if I get rapped and pregnant from said rape, only through Obama will I be able to get an abortion. Really, that is what you want to say? Our phone was ringing constantly from Republican volunteers and Democrat volunteers asking who was I supporting....towards the end, they would ask and I would reply, so do you wear socks to be or no socks? Huh? Exactly, who I plan to vote for is none of your business because both of your candidates are poor selections.
As I watched the debates, we heard more about social topics than what either candidate planned to do to really fix the real issues and that is what both parties want, they don't want American's to pay attention to the spending, the federal deficit, the federal reserve....they want American's to be divided on gay marriage, abortion, separation of the classes (wealthy vs poor). As a citizen of this nation, I want to help those less fortunate, but when the deficit is higher than ever before and it continues to grow, when do we wake up to the fact that we cannot continue to set up programs that we can't afford. It doesn't make sense. There is an article in CNN regarding what our share would look like, something to the tune of $193,989.72 per taxpayer to pay off the federal government's total debit....I don't have that, do you?
Neither major political candidate in my eyes was a good choice and as much as people said, you have to vote for one of the two, Why? I firmly believe the one candidate that would uphold the constitution, that held real change for this country was made to look like a fluke, a crazy politician, yet if you looked closer, his message was clear and he was bullied out of both major parties. And I am not alone. And I believe that if I were to vote for the "lesser of two evils" I am essentially saying, that third party candidates don't matter because in the end, it will always be a two party system. Do I like either of the lesser of two evils, NO, therefore I vote for the candidate I believe in, even if that means writing him in......
“Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education.” - FDR
I am actually tired of hearing about the election, in my opinion neither of the two major party candidates were ideal choices and thus it becomes a question of the lesser of two evils.
I downloaded each of the candidates plans, watched the debates, but both seem phony, full of exaggerations, lies, and promises neither will be held accountable for. I watched as both parties use scare tactics, bullying, and half-truths to try and sway voters. Friends hashing it out over this or that.
I had one woman tell me it was my duty as a woman to vote for Obama because god forbid if I get rapped and pregnant from said rape, only through Obama will I be able to get an abortion. Really, that is what you want to say? Our phone was ringing constantly from Republican volunteers and Democrat volunteers asking who was I supporting....towards the end, they would ask and I would reply, so do you wear socks to be or no socks? Huh? Exactly, who I plan to vote for is none of your business because both of your candidates are poor selections.
As I watched the debates, we heard more about social topics than what either candidate planned to do to really fix the real issues and that is what both parties want, they don't want American's to pay attention to the spending, the federal deficit, the federal reserve....they want American's to be divided on gay marriage, abortion, separation of the classes (wealthy vs poor). As a citizen of this nation, I want to help those less fortunate, but when the deficit is higher than ever before and it continues to grow, when do we wake up to the fact that we cannot continue to set up programs that we can't afford. It doesn't make sense. There is an article in CNN regarding what our share would look like, something to the tune of $193,989.72 per taxpayer to pay off the federal government's total debit....I don't have that, do you?
Neither major political candidate in my eyes was a good choice and as much as people said, you have to vote for one of the two, Why? I firmly believe the one candidate that would uphold the constitution, that held real change for this country was made to look like a fluke, a crazy politician, yet if you looked closer, his message was clear and he was bullied out of both major parties. And I am not alone. And I believe that if I were to vote for the "lesser of two evils" I am essentially saying, that third party candidates don't matter because in the end, it will always be a two party system. Do I like either of the lesser of two evils, NO, therefore I vote for the candidate I believe in, even if that means writing him in......
“Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education.” - FDR
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Day of the Girl....
Today is the International Day of the Girl movement to speak out against gender bias and advocate for girls' rights everywhere. I think this is a pretty important movement, especially since I have a daughter.
Growing up I played with hot wheels and barbies, my parents never said that is a girl toy or that is a boy toy, but I do remember experimenting, whether it was trying to make perfume, mixing colors, or working with my sister on creating our own version of Reese's peanut butter cups (lesson learned cocoa powder is bitter). I loved trying to craft new things, but I don't ever remember being encouraged into fields such as science or math by any adult in my life. I will admit, I've never had a love affair with math, but I have always secretly loved science. And I remember the first time my 9th grade science teacher said I should pursue a more challenging science class as we were completing our class lists for the next year, I was dumbfounded, "me?" He thought it was an easy subject for me and thought I should pursue science and challenge myself. It was the first time I had ever heard an adult say something like that to me and I will admit I didn't listen to him. I was unsure of myself and I was afraid of failure. I loved science, but I was afraid that if I took a more challenging course I wouldn't get it, end up failing, and look like a "dummy," so I took what was expected, where I knew I would understand it and pass. Science and writing have always been big passions of mine and it is not that I think my life would have turned out differently had I chosen to pursue that path, but I wish I had more encouragement that was an acceptable field to pursue. As a parent to a boy and a girl, who are close in age, it is easy to tell both my kids that they can do anything they want. The hubs and I are always looking at cool science things to show the kids from making our paper to making a rubber egg because science is fun and both the kids love learning about it. The key I think is telling my kids that if they are interested in something, then they need to seek out all the resources and information they can, learn, learn, learn about what you love because once you have that knowledge, no one can take it away from you. It is yours to do with what you want.
The other reasons why this day is important is because of the following (from Day of the Girl's website):
So every day, I tell my children how wonderful they are, how smart they are, how funny they are, how kind they are, and how beautiful they are....my kids are used to hearing this all the time that I think they have tuned it out, but I tell them because I want them to know they don't need to change anything, they were created to be just as they are. And only time will tell when my daughter enters into that middle school/high school age, if she is proud of who she is or is not, but I hope I am giving her skills that she learns to walk with her head tall because of who she is as an individual.
There was an incident a few years back when someone wanted to take a photo of her and she made a silly face, this person said, "don't do that you don't look pretty," but before I could say anything, the hubby stepped in and said, "she is pretty no matter what face she is making, don't ever say that again." I was shocked because our daughter was four years old and yes I understand you don't want her poking her tongue out, but sometimes the silly faces are the best photos captured, but I was relieved my hubs stepped in.
And don't get me wrong, there have been wonderful strides for women as a whole. We have choices and most importantly, we have a voice, but I think the biggest challenge we face is changing the perception of what "beauty" is....I think until the mainstream media industry, entertainment industry, and advertisers work on this, young girls and young women will continue to struggle with body image and what these girls perceive as beautiful.
"Being strong means rejoicing in who you are, complete with imperfections." - Margaret Woodhouse
Growing up I played with hot wheels and barbies, my parents never said that is a girl toy or that is a boy toy, but I do remember experimenting, whether it was trying to make perfume, mixing colors, or working with my sister on creating our own version of Reese's peanut butter cups (lesson learned cocoa powder is bitter). I loved trying to craft new things, but I don't ever remember being encouraged into fields such as science or math by any adult in my life. I will admit, I've never had a love affair with math, but I have always secretly loved science. And I remember the first time my 9th grade science teacher said I should pursue a more challenging science class as we were completing our class lists for the next year, I was dumbfounded, "me?" He thought it was an easy subject for me and thought I should pursue science and challenge myself. It was the first time I had ever heard an adult say something like that to me and I will admit I didn't listen to him. I was unsure of myself and I was afraid of failure. I loved science, but I was afraid that if I took a more challenging course I wouldn't get it, end up failing, and look like a "dummy," so I took what was expected, where I knew I would understand it and pass. Science and writing have always been big passions of mine and it is not that I think my life would have turned out differently had I chosen to pursue that path, but I wish I had more encouragement that was an acceptable field to pursue. As a parent to a boy and a girl, who are close in age, it is easy to tell both my kids that they can do anything they want. The hubs and I are always looking at cool science things to show the kids from making our paper to making a rubber egg because science is fun and both the kids love learning about it. The key I think is telling my kids that if they are interested in something, then they need to seek out all the resources and information they can, learn, learn, learn about what you love because once you have that knowledge, no one can take it away from you. It is yours to do with what you want.
The other reasons why this day is important is because of the following (from Day of the Girl's website):
- Illiteracy - by 2015, females will make up 64% of the world’s (adult) population who cannot read
- Force marriage - One in seven girls in developing countries is married off before age 15
- Violence – In the US more than half (54%) of all rapes of females happen before age 18. One in 5 high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner. Worldwide children as young as age 11 are forced to work as prostitutes, some estimates have as many as 1.2 million children being trafficked every year.
- Body image – More than half (54%) of 3rd-5th grade girls worry about their appearance and 37% worry about their weight. More than half (57%) of music videos feature a female portrayed exclusively as a decorative, sexual object.
So every day, I tell my children how wonderful they are, how smart they are, how funny they are, how kind they are, and how beautiful they are....my kids are used to hearing this all the time that I think they have tuned it out, but I tell them because I want them to know they don't need to change anything, they were created to be just as they are. And only time will tell when my daughter enters into that middle school/high school age, if she is proud of who she is or is not, but I hope I am giving her skills that she learns to walk with her head tall because of who she is as an individual.
There was an incident a few years back when someone wanted to take a photo of her and she made a silly face, this person said, "don't do that you don't look pretty," but before I could say anything, the hubby stepped in and said, "she is pretty no matter what face she is making, don't ever say that again." I was shocked because our daughter was four years old and yes I understand you don't want her poking her tongue out, but sometimes the silly faces are the best photos captured, but I was relieved my hubs stepped in.
And don't get me wrong, there have been wonderful strides for women as a whole. We have choices and most importantly, we have a voice, but I think the biggest challenge we face is changing the perception of what "beauty" is....I think until the mainstream media industry, entertainment industry, and advertisers work on this, young girls and young women will continue to struggle with body image and what these girls perceive as beautiful.
"Being strong means rejoicing in who you are, complete with imperfections." - Margaret Woodhouse
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Presidential Debate: Is there a right choice?
Last night began the first presidential debate for this year's election and we like many other Americans watched it. I went into the debate hoping one of the two candidates would "tell or show" me why I should choose that candidate for president, but neither of them did.
I saw misrepresentation, fluff and in some instances all out avoidance of the question asked. And I suppose if I preferred one candidate over the other, I wouldn't care so much, but I don't have a preference. I don't like either of the options we have, so I watched and listened hoping I would be swayed one way or the other. Yet, after watching it, I am left disappointed because frankly, Obama has had four years and in my eyes has not proved he is ready for another four. Romney is no better, some of the things outlined in his plan, although sound great, lack substance and so really, is it something that can be accomplished or another promise made with no commitment to fulfill it?
Since I turned 18, I have voted in every election, but I am seriously thinking of not voting this year, which is sad.There is no real difference, underneath the political party they hold, nothing will really change, yet Americans will be told that we have to choose this over that, but nothing real changes and all the while this country continues to slide.
I'll watch the next debates and I will continue to read their proposed plans, but thus far, nothing is different expect how each of these candidates are being presented.
I saw misrepresentation, fluff and in some instances all out avoidance of the question asked. And I suppose if I preferred one candidate over the other, I wouldn't care so much, but I don't have a preference. I don't like either of the options we have, so I watched and listened hoping I would be swayed one way or the other. Yet, after watching it, I am left disappointed because frankly, Obama has had four years and in my eyes has not proved he is ready for another four. Romney is no better, some of the things outlined in his plan, although sound great, lack substance and so really, is it something that can be accomplished or another promise made with no commitment to fulfill it?
Since I turned 18, I have voted in every election, but I am seriously thinking of not voting this year, which is sad.There is no real difference, underneath the political party they hold, nothing will really change, yet Americans will be told that we have to choose this over that, but nothing real changes and all the while this country continues to slide.
I'll watch the next debates and I will continue to read their proposed plans, but thus far, nothing is different expect how each of these candidates are being presented.
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