Yes, in the midst of November the month of gratitude and shopping deals, what a combination. Be thankful for what you have, but remember doors open at midnight (or 8pm, as it is this year) and go crazy shopping.
A lot has transpired this year and like most years, I typically wait till the start of a new year to reflect on all that has happened, but I think November is just as good as any time.
Gradually, I am working on not getting so hung up about those issues that tend to put me into an emotional state, because ultimately I have no control over it, so why let my blood pressure rise or stress myself out over something I cannot control, it is useless and is more trouble than it is worth. Often times, what I find myself in afterwards is a state of depression and for people who have never struggled with depression it is easy to say, "don't be sad, mad, upset, or whatever word they tend to say....be happy!" If that were only the case.....unless you've been in that dark, numbing hole of depression regardless of what you want, everything else in your mind is telling you the opposite, it is like you are Alice falling into Wonderland...there may not be a purpose to the pain you feel, but the pain is real, the suffering is real,and it will strike before you even comprehend what the hell happened. In the midst of talking with friends, having a wonderful time and then suddenly the overwhelming sense of loneliness and you are not quite sure, but you know that you don't want people to look at you because the tears are going to gush out, you don't want to speak or open your mouth because you are afraid, you want to hide, but you don't move, you smile and laugh even though you feel broken, misplaced.
So, yes, after all the hubbub of several incidents, on top of life's responsibilities, I found myself in a state of depression that I had not been in quite some time.
I know I suffer from depression, it runs in the women of my family for as long as probably anyone can go back too, my great-grandmother killed herself when my nanny was only a small girl, two years old, I believe. My nanny has no memories of her mother and often I would think about this woman, who left her young children and why, what was so horrible that she had to escape life from, what was her suffering or agony that pushed her to that level that death seemed more alluring or more of an escape. There is that thin veil with depression that sometimes death seems logical, but if you don't understand it, then I think that is where people feel trapped or pushed and result in such acts. Depression hit me when I was 14 and I didn't understand it, I struggled with similar thoughts, until you realize what it is you are dealing with. And underneath it I know that my life is so much more than the ball of nothingness that tries to wash over me.
I have also tried to learn and understand my triggers and writing helps reason with my internal self, it draws the negative out so I realize the positive, the beauty in the ugly. It is the letting go that I struggle with and need working on, but I think I am making progress.
I wish I could say that depression was not something I struggled with, but it is and for the most part it is something I don't have to deal with very often because I know what I have and my love of my children and family is stronger, the memories of the good are stronger than any negative projections. And even when I don't want to pick myself up out of bed, I do. I am grateful for today and I debated heavily on whether or not to blog about this topic, but I know there are a lot of people who suffer from depression and feel like they have to hid or be ashamed and I don't quite understand that. So, this is for you, who struggle as well. We all have our moments, but you have to remember that it feels better to stand in the sunshine than in the depths of the shadows.
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least
we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let
us all be thankful.” – Buddha
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Upcycling.....it's fun, no really, it is...
Well we have a ton of cabinet doors...we are not remodeling, but we inherited them and once we realized the doors were not the right size for our cabinets, we were not sure what we were going to do.
Thank you jellybeans and pixie dust for the Internet because where else could you type in "cabinet door" projects to find an abundance of ideas at your finger tips. And that is exactly what we did....
There are several more projects that I have ideas for and not to mention more cabinet doors to use, but as soon as those are done, I will post pictures. There is nothing more exciting than looking at something and realizing there are thousand other ways to use it.....
Thank you jellybeans and pixie dust for the Internet because where else could you type in "cabinet door" projects to find an abundance of ideas at your finger tips. And that is exactly what we did....
This is our cabinet door upcylced "kids art/activity" desk, pretty neat, don'tcha' think?
The top has a chalkboard front so the little ones can write, scribble, or doodle....
And then, open it up and peek inside.....
a small space for paper and pens/pencils/markers
There are several more projects that I have ideas for and not to mention more cabinet doors to use, but as soon as those are done, I will post pictures. There is nothing more exciting than looking at something and realizing there are thousand other ways to use it.....
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
I voted....did you?
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed I awoke this morning eager to get out and cast my vote (well not exactly more like rainy, chilly, and wet I stepped out) and went to my polling place. The kiddies tagged along, watching over my shoulder to see who I was going to vote for, who would it be?
I am actually tired of hearing about the election, in my opinion neither of the two major party candidates were ideal choices and thus it becomes a question of the lesser of two evils.
I downloaded each of the candidates plans, watched the debates, but both seem phony, full of exaggerations, lies, and promises neither will be held accountable for. I watched as both parties use scare tactics, bullying, and half-truths to try and sway voters. Friends hashing it out over this or that.
I had one woman tell me it was my duty as a woman to vote for Obama because god forbid if I get rapped and pregnant from said rape, only through Obama will I be able to get an abortion. Really, that is what you want to say? Our phone was ringing constantly from Republican volunteers and Democrat volunteers asking who was I supporting....towards the end, they would ask and I would reply, so do you wear socks to be or no socks? Huh? Exactly, who I plan to vote for is none of your business because both of your candidates are poor selections.
As I watched the debates, we heard more about social topics than what either candidate planned to do to really fix the real issues and that is what both parties want, they don't want American's to pay attention to the spending, the federal deficit, the federal reserve....they want American's to be divided on gay marriage, abortion, separation of the classes (wealthy vs poor). As a citizen of this nation, I want to help those less fortunate, but when the deficit is higher than ever before and it continues to grow, when do we wake up to the fact that we cannot continue to set up programs that we can't afford. It doesn't make sense. There is an article in CNN regarding what our share would look like, something to the tune of $193,989.72 per taxpayer to pay off the federal government's total debit....I don't have that, do you?
Neither major political candidate in my eyes was a good choice and as much as people said, you have to vote for one of the two, Why? I firmly believe the one candidate that would uphold the constitution, that held real change for this country was made to look like a fluke, a crazy politician, yet if you looked closer, his message was clear and he was bullied out of both major parties. And I am not alone. And I believe that if I were to vote for the "lesser of two evils" I am essentially saying, that third party candidates don't matter because in the end, it will always be a two party system. Do I like either of the lesser of two evils, NO, therefore I vote for the candidate I believe in, even if that means writing him in......
“Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education.” - FDR
I am actually tired of hearing about the election, in my opinion neither of the two major party candidates were ideal choices and thus it becomes a question of the lesser of two evils.
I downloaded each of the candidates plans, watched the debates, but both seem phony, full of exaggerations, lies, and promises neither will be held accountable for. I watched as both parties use scare tactics, bullying, and half-truths to try and sway voters. Friends hashing it out over this or that.
I had one woman tell me it was my duty as a woman to vote for Obama because god forbid if I get rapped and pregnant from said rape, only through Obama will I be able to get an abortion. Really, that is what you want to say? Our phone was ringing constantly from Republican volunteers and Democrat volunteers asking who was I supporting....towards the end, they would ask and I would reply, so do you wear socks to be or no socks? Huh? Exactly, who I plan to vote for is none of your business because both of your candidates are poor selections.
As I watched the debates, we heard more about social topics than what either candidate planned to do to really fix the real issues and that is what both parties want, they don't want American's to pay attention to the spending, the federal deficit, the federal reserve....they want American's to be divided on gay marriage, abortion, separation of the classes (wealthy vs poor). As a citizen of this nation, I want to help those less fortunate, but when the deficit is higher than ever before and it continues to grow, when do we wake up to the fact that we cannot continue to set up programs that we can't afford. It doesn't make sense. There is an article in CNN regarding what our share would look like, something to the tune of $193,989.72 per taxpayer to pay off the federal government's total debit....I don't have that, do you?
Neither major political candidate in my eyes was a good choice and as much as people said, you have to vote for one of the two, Why? I firmly believe the one candidate that would uphold the constitution, that held real change for this country was made to look like a fluke, a crazy politician, yet if you looked closer, his message was clear and he was bullied out of both major parties. And I am not alone. And I believe that if I were to vote for the "lesser of two evils" I am essentially saying, that third party candidates don't matter because in the end, it will always be a two party system. Do I like either of the lesser of two evils, NO, therefore I vote for the candidate I believe in, even if that means writing him in......
“Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education.” - FDR
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Day of the Girl....
Today is the International Day of the Girl movement to speak out against gender bias and advocate for girls' rights everywhere. I think this is a pretty important movement, especially since I have a daughter.
Growing up I played with hot wheels and barbies, my parents never said that is a girl toy or that is a boy toy, but I do remember experimenting, whether it was trying to make perfume, mixing colors, or working with my sister on creating our own version of Reese's peanut butter cups (lesson learned cocoa powder is bitter). I loved trying to craft new things, but I don't ever remember being encouraged into fields such as science or math by any adult in my life. I will admit, I've never had a love affair with math, but I have always secretly loved science. And I remember the first time my 9th grade science teacher said I should pursue a more challenging science class as we were completing our class lists for the next year, I was dumbfounded, "me?" He thought it was an easy subject for me and thought I should pursue science and challenge myself. It was the first time I had ever heard an adult say something like that to me and I will admit I didn't listen to him. I was unsure of myself and I was afraid of failure. I loved science, but I was afraid that if I took a more challenging course I wouldn't get it, end up failing, and look like a "dummy," so I took what was expected, where I knew I would understand it and pass. Science and writing have always been big passions of mine and it is not that I think my life would have turned out differently had I chosen to pursue that path, but I wish I had more encouragement that was an acceptable field to pursue. As a parent to a boy and a girl, who are close in age, it is easy to tell both my kids that they can do anything they want. The hubs and I are always looking at cool science things to show the kids from making our paper to making a rubber egg because science is fun and both the kids love learning about it. The key I think is telling my kids that if they are interested in something, then they need to seek out all the resources and information they can, learn, learn, learn about what you love because once you have that knowledge, no one can take it away from you. It is yours to do with what you want.
The other reasons why this day is important is because of the following (from Day of the Girl's website):
So every day, I tell my children how wonderful they are, how smart they are, how funny they are, how kind they are, and how beautiful they are....my kids are used to hearing this all the time that I think they have tuned it out, but I tell them because I want them to know they don't need to change anything, they were created to be just as they are. And only time will tell when my daughter enters into that middle school/high school age, if she is proud of who she is or is not, but I hope I am giving her skills that she learns to walk with her head tall because of who she is as an individual.
There was an incident a few years back when someone wanted to take a photo of her and she made a silly face, this person said, "don't do that you don't look pretty," but before I could say anything, the hubby stepped in and said, "she is pretty no matter what face she is making, don't ever say that again." I was shocked because our daughter was four years old and yes I understand you don't want her poking her tongue out, but sometimes the silly faces are the best photos captured, but I was relieved my hubs stepped in.
And don't get me wrong, there have been wonderful strides for women as a whole. We have choices and most importantly, we have a voice, but I think the biggest challenge we face is changing the perception of what "beauty" is....I think until the mainstream media industry, entertainment industry, and advertisers work on this, young girls and young women will continue to struggle with body image and what these girls perceive as beautiful.
"Being strong means rejoicing in who you are, complete with imperfections." - Margaret Woodhouse
Growing up I played with hot wheels and barbies, my parents never said that is a girl toy or that is a boy toy, but I do remember experimenting, whether it was trying to make perfume, mixing colors, or working with my sister on creating our own version of Reese's peanut butter cups (lesson learned cocoa powder is bitter). I loved trying to craft new things, but I don't ever remember being encouraged into fields such as science or math by any adult in my life. I will admit, I've never had a love affair with math, but I have always secretly loved science. And I remember the first time my 9th grade science teacher said I should pursue a more challenging science class as we were completing our class lists for the next year, I was dumbfounded, "me?" He thought it was an easy subject for me and thought I should pursue science and challenge myself. It was the first time I had ever heard an adult say something like that to me and I will admit I didn't listen to him. I was unsure of myself and I was afraid of failure. I loved science, but I was afraid that if I took a more challenging course I wouldn't get it, end up failing, and look like a "dummy," so I took what was expected, where I knew I would understand it and pass. Science and writing have always been big passions of mine and it is not that I think my life would have turned out differently had I chosen to pursue that path, but I wish I had more encouragement that was an acceptable field to pursue. As a parent to a boy and a girl, who are close in age, it is easy to tell both my kids that they can do anything they want. The hubs and I are always looking at cool science things to show the kids from making our paper to making a rubber egg because science is fun and both the kids love learning about it. The key I think is telling my kids that if they are interested in something, then they need to seek out all the resources and information they can, learn, learn, learn about what you love because once you have that knowledge, no one can take it away from you. It is yours to do with what you want.
The other reasons why this day is important is because of the following (from Day of the Girl's website):
- Illiteracy - by 2015, females will make up 64% of the world’s (adult) population who cannot read
- Force marriage - One in seven girls in developing countries is married off before age 15
- Violence – In the US more than half (54%) of all rapes of females happen before age 18. One in 5 high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner. Worldwide children as young as age 11 are forced to work as prostitutes, some estimates have as many as 1.2 million children being trafficked every year.
- Body image – More than half (54%) of 3rd-5th grade girls worry about their appearance and 37% worry about their weight. More than half (57%) of music videos feature a female portrayed exclusively as a decorative, sexual object.
So every day, I tell my children how wonderful they are, how smart they are, how funny they are, how kind they are, and how beautiful they are....my kids are used to hearing this all the time that I think they have tuned it out, but I tell them because I want them to know they don't need to change anything, they were created to be just as they are. And only time will tell when my daughter enters into that middle school/high school age, if she is proud of who she is or is not, but I hope I am giving her skills that she learns to walk with her head tall because of who she is as an individual.
There was an incident a few years back when someone wanted to take a photo of her and she made a silly face, this person said, "don't do that you don't look pretty," but before I could say anything, the hubby stepped in and said, "she is pretty no matter what face she is making, don't ever say that again." I was shocked because our daughter was four years old and yes I understand you don't want her poking her tongue out, but sometimes the silly faces are the best photos captured, but I was relieved my hubs stepped in.
And don't get me wrong, there have been wonderful strides for women as a whole. We have choices and most importantly, we have a voice, but I think the biggest challenge we face is changing the perception of what "beauty" is....I think until the mainstream media industry, entertainment industry, and advertisers work on this, young girls and young women will continue to struggle with body image and what these girls perceive as beautiful.
"Being strong means rejoicing in who you are, complete with imperfections." - Margaret Woodhouse
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Presidential Debate: Is there a right choice?
Last night began the first presidential debate for this year's election and we like many other Americans watched it. I went into the debate hoping one of the two candidates would "tell or show" me why I should choose that candidate for president, but neither of them did.
I saw misrepresentation, fluff and in some instances all out avoidance of the question asked. And I suppose if I preferred one candidate over the other, I wouldn't care so much, but I don't have a preference. I don't like either of the options we have, so I watched and listened hoping I would be swayed one way or the other. Yet, after watching it, I am left disappointed because frankly, Obama has had four years and in my eyes has not proved he is ready for another four. Romney is no better, some of the things outlined in his plan, although sound great, lack substance and so really, is it something that can be accomplished or another promise made with no commitment to fulfill it?
Since I turned 18, I have voted in every election, but I am seriously thinking of not voting this year, which is sad.There is no real difference, underneath the political party they hold, nothing will really change, yet Americans will be told that we have to choose this over that, but nothing real changes and all the while this country continues to slide.
I'll watch the next debates and I will continue to read their proposed plans, but thus far, nothing is different expect how each of these candidates are being presented.
I saw misrepresentation, fluff and in some instances all out avoidance of the question asked. And I suppose if I preferred one candidate over the other, I wouldn't care so much, but I don't have a preference. I don't like either of the options we have, so I watched and listened hoping I would be swayed one way or the other. Yet, after watching it, I am left disappointed because frankly, Obama has had four years and in my eyes has not proved he is ready for another four. Romney is no better, some of the things outlined in his plan, although sound great, lack substance and so really, is it something that can be accomplished or another promise made with no commitment to fulfill it?
Since I turned 18, I have voted in every election, but I am seriously thinking of not voting this year, which is sad.There is no real difference, underneath the political party they hold, nothing will really change, yet Americans will be told that we have to choose this over that, but nothing real changes and all the while this country continues to slide.
I'll watch the next debates and I will continue to read their proposed plans, but thus far, nothing is different expect how each of these candidates are being presented.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Sidewalks? Not in my City....
We were notified that a fellow school parent was planning on speaking at the city council meeting requesting some sidewalks around the school, so the hubs and I decided to attend to show our support. We both made public comments in support.....well there were plenty of "sidewalk" haters, even a few sporting "No Sidewalk" t-shirts, which made me think...really? You went to that much trouble, okay then. It was something I have never witnessed before, the intensity of which these people seriously do not want sidewalks. Anyway, I learned something big last night as comments were made regarding sidewalks and garage sales....these old timers (and I do mean this literally) don't like change, they don't like school traffic, but they don't mind garage sale traffic and don't mess with the garage sales.
So, afterwards it was bugging me, so I thought I would write a letter to the members of city council, which I'm fully aware that some of the members live on the street that would possibly get a sidewalk, so we all know where they stand on the issue, but that is why I love being a voter. It this is the issue that stands between me casting my vote for or against those that want to be re-elected, you better believe I will vote no for re-election. Anyway, below is my letter to the mayor and city council members.....
Good Evening!
Thank you for listening to us speak tonight regarding sidewalks at the council meeting, which I see is a touchy subject. As I stated, we are city residents living at (addy taken out). Our children attend Montessori school,which is about a mile away for us and it is one of the reasons why I love living here and why we finally decided on living in the city.
Thank you for listening to us speak tonight regarding sidewalks at the council meeting, which I see is a touchy subject. As I stated, we are city residents living at (addy taken out). Our children attend Montessori school,which is about a mile away for us and it is one of the reasons why I love living here and why we finally decided on living in the city.
My kids have been on the waiting list since they were babies; we moved from another city in 2007 so we could be closer to the school. I was super excited when they finally started school there because I envisioned many school walks. As I stated tonight, I have attempted to walk my kids to school twice, during both times I took different routes to see if one was better or not. During our walk, we had to get out of the way for several vehicles, not to mention avoid the parked cars, trying to stay out of the way from the traffic to/from the school directly. And as much as I would like to walk my children to school more often, it is not an easy task when the walk becomes stressful.
Tonight there were definitely more against sidewalks than for, but what surprised me was how some residents were suggesting that this is not a city problem, but perhaps the school is the burden or as one woman suggested that she will encourage all the residents of street name to park on the street, so parents don’t have an option to park and walk their children in.
Let me first say, that most of the parents who are parking and
walking their kids in are those of preschool age and kindergartners, so they
are basically saying that those kids can walk on the street themselves.
My two children are in first and second grade, I follow the school plan when dropping my kids off. This school is a choice-school, therefore it is up to parents to get their kids to and from school, our students don't have buses or paid crossing guards. The school is an asset to this city; whether you see it or not. It has received the healthiest school award, among other recognition for its efforts. There was a discussion when my daughter started attending a few years ago about creating a “walking school bus” to help ease the traffic concerns and parking issues of the residents. The idea was to pick a couple central locations in the area where parents could drop/pick kids up from and then volunteer parents/teachers could walk with a bunch of students to school, however, again there are no sidewalks to safely do that with various children of all ages, so the idea was dropped.
My two children are in first and second grade, I follow the school plan when dropping my kids off. This school is a choice-school, therefore it is up to parents to get their kids to and from school, our students don't have buses or paid crossing guards. The school is an asset to this city; whether you see it or not. It has received the healthiest school award, among other recognition for its efforts. There was a discussion when my daughter started attending a few years ago about creating a “walking school bus” to help ease the traffic concerns and parking issues of the residents. The idea was to pick a couple central locations in the area where parents could drop/pick kids up from and then volunteer parents/teachers could walk with a bunch of students to school, however, again there are no sidewalks to safely do that with various children of all ages, so the idea was dropped.
I
was completely appalled at how some
residents felt about this school, when the school creates a snowball
effect
because of its location, parents end up spending money in this city,
whether it
is at places like The Bake Shoppe, Grounds for Celebration, Mustards, Walmart, or
Hy-Vee and there are many parents who partake in city events, which is again putting their money into this city, yet the school is a burden? I
regularly
attend the Parent Group meetings and they are always
encouraging parents to be respectful of resident’s space, streets, and
more, yet
again residents say, “we are for no parking on Del Matro.” For the first
time,
I was ashamed to be a resident of this city because it is that
attitude that
reflects this city.
When people ask where I live and I tell them, I get the standard
jokes of “the 25mph zone,” or “city with no sidewalks” and although what they
say is true, I tell them all the things that I love and
why I enjoy being a resident. Yet, I want to venture beyond my
driveway. I want to walk safely in front of my home, hand-in-hand with my
husband and kids to "Music and the Park" or whatever event is going on, which I
don’t complain about the traffic that creates on my street. I want to interact
with my neighbors and above else I want my children to walk…to the park, to the
town center, or to their grandparents’ house, which is on the next street over,
but again there are no sidewalks for them to walk on. I want to walk the dog without hugging the curb without worry that
some car is going to be zipping down the road because regardless of what the
speed limit is, I know for a fact there are people driving faster than 25 mph
down my street.
I understand why some may be against sidewalks and I heard those concerns. One suggesting that streets are safe and pedestrians use the streets now, but let me ask you, would you allow your 5 year old child or grandchild ride a tricycle or play in the street while you watch from the front of your yard? Well as this man suggested that is okay to do. Another person stated that there has been no accidents, so why sidewalks now? Really, does the city want to wait till a child or someone is injured, seriously hurt, or god-forbid dies before we address the problem.
Another argument was “I’ve grown up here without sidewalks or I played on the streets with no sidewalks,” this again ignores the increase in traffic over the decades, my dad grew up here and there was not nearly the businesses or traffic then that this city sees now, so that argument is invalid.
And another man stated that it will take his front lawn or destroy
the landscaping, well again, most cities have enough public right of way to
build a sidewalk without taking private land and if landscaping is on the
public right of way, it shouldn’t be there and they are breaking zoning codes,
if I am not mistaken? I think I will have to pay more attention to see if there
are any homes in violation of these codes. The other issue I heard was maintenance and that it would be hard
for older citizens to shovel it during the winter, so I take it they don’t
shovel their driveways during the winter either?
Another issue was the cost factor and who would be
paying for the sidewalks, well that is an issue, but about a year ago I saw a
grant for sidewalk development project that I forwarded to the past city administrator.
It was a grant looking for partnerships with cities and local schools in
creating projects that would benefit the city, but I also realize that
sidewalks are not a huge priority, so I'm sure it was simply missed. There are grants available; you just have to
find them. The USDA Rural Development has a Community Facility Grant, which
funds can be used to construct, enlarge, or improve the community for health
care, public safety, and community and public services or the Community
Development Block Grant Program sponsored by HUD has grants available.
I stated at the public comment that the city does not needs a sidewalk on every street, but I do believe the city needs to focus on the streets that have routes to schools, parks, and shopping. What I learned tonight was that residents don’t like change, but they do want to provide comment. This is where I think there is an opportunity.
I shouldn’t have to
mention that it is listed as a goal in the city's Comprehensive
Plan is to promote green mobility, so how does a city with no sidewalks promote
green mobility? How does the city that “is in the heart of it all” connect
pedestrians? I believe that eventually we will get sidewalks, but
I think if the city wants the support of its residents, is to enlist the help
of residents, give them a say of where to put them, what they should look like,
give them some control because there are several alternatives that currently
exist beside concrete and perhaps residents would be more open to some
alternatives to concrete. There are many cities that are using grass-crete (a
combination of grass and concrete) or rubber sidewalks.
Anyway, thank you again, I’m sure you will hear more from me regarding this issue.
I did get a couple positive responses back and we will continue to move forward with this initiative. So, what about your neighborhoods...sidewalks or no?
“The more people that meet each other, the better it is for all of them." - Fletcher Pratt
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Random Thoughts nonetheless.....
On Tuesday I got a message from the the kids school that another child spit on my son, but the "situation" was handled. My first reaction was, what does that mean? Did the boy apologize, emotionally how is my son?
So, I sent a reply back indicating that I wanted to know if the boy apologized and was remorseful in any way and do I need to pick my son up? I mean, I was stunned to hear this, we choose to send our kids to a Montessori school to because the values that the kids learn in this type of environment and granted I realize no school is free from these types of incidents, but if my child did this, I would definitely want my child to face the consequences of that type of behavior. The hubs responded back as well indicating that this was not acceptable behavior and he wanted a formal apology. When I finally saw my son, I asked him about it, he said he doesn't know why the boy did it, but he was playing with two other boys and this kid ran up and spat at the back of his head and when he asked why, the kid said nothing and so my little man said, well I'm going to tell and the kid stated, "I don't care." My little man said, I really wanted to punch him, but I knew I would get in trouble instead, so I told. I told him he did the right thing. Wednesday the hubs and my little man went to the Principal's office where the other boy apologized, I just hope this kid learns his lesson and that type of behavior is not okay. I hope this is a one time situation and nothing like this happens again.
The other happenings and what nots.....it has been over a month since I found myself trapped in "Dramaville" and since that time, a couple people chose to "defriend" me on Facebook, which I understand, I've done it myself, so it is what it is, I think I was just more surprised by who it. During the whole mess and to my surprise, I received an outpouring of love and support from old friends, new friends, family, in-laws, and more. I will admit, I was quite depressed and distraught for a few days after the whole fiasco. It hadn't fully sunk in until I was in the middle of a work project and found myself uncontrollably crying. And then slowly, I would get a message or some words of comfort and support from the people in my life, all telling me the same thing....it was in these moments that helped me realize that this person and those that defend such actions really don't KNOW me.
And as I sat in bed at night thinking and realized regardless of who, I don't want people in my life that treat people that way because at the end of the day you want to surround yourself with people who support you in the times of craziness, in times of happiness, in times of chaos, in times of those good days and more...you don't want people in your life who make you doubt yourself, lie, or make snide remarks. I have reached out one too many times to count to this person, all of which have been rebuffed and rejected and yet as time progressed I would continue to reach out because in my heart I knew this was the right thing to do, even though I knew what the answer was. I have always been willing to admit and ask for forgiveness for my part in the mess that was created, even though I knew I would never receive an apologize for the hurt that was inflicted upon me, yet I still reached out. And as I was reflecting on the support I was being given, something clicked inside me....I can't quite explain it, but I realized that you can't reach out for middle ground when someone isn't wanting to meet you halfway or for that matter at all ever cared about you.
I was overwhelmed with the love and support from all of you, it was unexpected, but greatly appreciated! And it is in those words that made me come to see that I am a strong person. And in looking back through the years, the only time we have had conflict is when I have stood up for myself, so I could choose to be silent and let things be said or I could stand up. So, I want to say "Thank You" to the many people who reached out to me, whether it was one word or a letter, you have opened my eyes for the better.
"The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt." ~Max Lerner
So, I sent a reply back indicating that I wanted to know if the boy apologized and was remorseful in any way and do I need to pick my son up? I mean, I was stunned to hear this, we choose to send our kids to a Montessori school to because the values that the kids learn in this type of environment and granted I realize no school is free from these types of incidents, but if my child did this, I would definitely want my child to face the consequences of that type of behavior. The hubs responded back as well indicating that this was not acceptable behavior and he wanted a formal apology. When I finally saw my son, I asked him about it, he said he doesn't know why the boy did it, but he was playing with two other boys and this kid ran up and spat at the back of his head and when he asked why, the kid said nothing and so my little man said, well I'm going to tell and the kid stated, "I don't care." My little man said, I really wanted to punch him, but I knew I would get in trouble instead, so I told. I told him he did the right thing. Wednesday the hubs and my little man went to the Principal's office where the other boy apologized, I just hope this kid learns his lesson and that type of behavior is not okay. I hope this is a one time situation and nothing like this happens again.
The other happenings and what nots.....it has been over a month since I found myself trapped in "Dramaville" and since that time, a couple people chose to "defriend" me on Facebook, which I understand, I've done it myself, so it is what it is, I think I was just more surprised by who it. During the whole mess and to my surprise, I received an outpouring of love and support from old friends, new friends, family, in-laws, and more. I will admit, I was quite depressed and distraught for a few days after the whole fiasco. It hadn't fully sunk in until I was in the middle of a work project and found myself uncontrollably crying. And then slowly, I would get a message or some words of comfort and support from the people in my life, all telling me the same thing....it was in these moments that helped me realize that this person and those that defend such actions really don't KNOW me.
And as I sat in bed at night thinking and realized regardless of who, I don't want people in my life that treat people that way because at the end of the day you want to surround yourself with people who support you in the times of craziness, in times of happiness, in times of chaos, in times of those good days and more...you don't want people in your life who make you doubt yourself, lie, or make snide remarks. I have reached out one too many times to count to this person, all of which have been rebuffed and rejected and yet as time progressed I would continue to reach out because in my heart I knew this was the right thing to do, even though I knew what the answer was. I have always been willing to admit and ask for forgiveness for my part in the mess that was created, even though I knew I would never receive an apologize for the hurt that was inflicted upon me, yet I still reached out. And as I was reflecting on the support I was being given, something clicked inside me....I can't quite explain it, but I realized that you can't reach out for middle ground when someone isn't wanting to meet you halfway or for that matter at all ever cared about you.
I was overwhelmed with the love and support from all of you, it was unexpected, but greatly appreciated! And it is in those words that made me come to see that I am a strong person. And in looking back through the years, the only time we have had conflict is when I have stood up for myself, so I could choose to be silent and let things be said or I could stand up. So, I want to say "Thank You" to the many people who reached out to me, whether it was one word or a letter, you have opened my eyes for the better.
"The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt." ~Max Lerner
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