Be Kind

A friend of mine invited me to attend a Conversations speaker series luncheon and the guest speaker was Marion Blumenthal Lazan, who is Holocaust survivor and wrote a memoir titled, "Four Perfect Pebbles." Listening to her, I had to fight back my tears - I've heard so many accounts, read stories and visited the Holocaust museum and it bothers me how this happened.
She shared her account, which if I remember was six years in prison camps, much of which was her early childhood years and shares a message a of respect and tolerance.
We now know how horrible and tragic the Holocaust was and often we think, something like that could never happen again, but yet even after all we have come to learn and understand from this time period there are worlds still at war, still punishing and killing groups of people because of religion. While I'm far away from all these conflicts; young girls being persecuted for wanting an education and men being captured and executed because of religion; it's easy to turn away and ignore these issues because it seems so removed, but are we not all connected to one another?
Or does removing ourselves just make it easier to pretend these problems don't exist? My sweetpea is reading "The Diary of Anne Frank," and she asked me how people allowed that to happen and I couldn't answer her. She then asked me, could it happen again and I said yes, it could and in some places it still does, but I reminded her that there is still good in the world.
And that is what Marion continued to repeat at the luncheon, "Be kind, be good, respect one another," and how simple her message is and easy of a concept, but so difficult to practice.

Just for a moment, think of those words....Be kind......Be good......Respect on another.......yet how often do we see this reflected in our daily lives, television, radio, and the internet? How often do we see people pitted against one another (Republicans vs Democrats, this religion against that religion, sister vs brother, fat vs skinny). We are surrounded by hurtful and demeaning messages that eventually we become so use to this, we grow apathetic and just accept it. We are shocked by "random acts of kindness," when in reality we should be shocked by what we have accepted as everyday messages.

I will share Marion's story with my children with hopes that they take her message to heart, but they hear it all the time....
I tell my children every day as I drop them off at school, "Be kind to someone today," they get tired of me saying it everyday and one day my wee man said, but what if they are unkind to us and I replied, well that is when that person needs it the most. I suppose if I can pass anything down to my children, it would be the importance of being kind and compassionate because as easy as the acts are, they are some of the most difficult.

“If you can cultivate the right attitude, your enemies are your best spiritual teachers because their presence provides you with the opportunity to enhance and develop tolerance, patience and understanding.” - Dalai Lama

"I do believe we're all connected. I do believe in positive energy. I do believe in the power of prayer. I do believe in putting good out into the world. And I believe in taking care of each other." - Harvey Fierstein

When I see a daisy, I will think of you......

Yesterday, the hubs spent the day saying his goodbyes to his grandma, she passed away in the afternoon. It is always hard to lose someone regardless of how long they lived, death is never easy. I  had kept the kids home, so when we got the call that she was not likely going to make it. I spoke with the kids and we talked about going up and being with the rest of the family during this difficult time. The kids said no, they broke down and said they didn't want to remember like that and knew they would remember her that way and my sweet pea said, "I want to remember her smile like she did on her birthday,"which was just about a week ago.
I couldn't argue with the kids, I desperately wanted to be there for my husband, but they had a point, so I didn't make them go, but every 15 minutes we would pause, hold hands, share our fondest memories and send positive, comforting thoughts and prayers to our family who was with her as well as for Grandma. The kids would cry and I would try to comfort them in the best way I could - telling them that it is okay to cry.

She was a wonderful lady and over the years I don't think I ever heard a compliant or anything negative, she always smiled. Even when she went to the nursing home, she never complained. I remember one afternoon we came to visit and you could tell she was run down, she smiled and said, I would like to go home, but I can't complain because every one is so nice here. And it is so easy to get caught up with life and all the negativity that complaining becomes effortlessly - looking at the positive side of things is a great lesson to pass on.

I remember the first time I went to Florida with the hubs for his cousin's wedding and one afternoon everyone was out and it was just the grandparents, Darren, and me. We played cards with his grandparents (the girls won) and she talked about how the secret to a long life was a teaspoon of honey and apple cider vinegar.  We then we to lunch with them and hit a flea market, it was a wonderful day and even though Darren and I were dating, she made me feel included.

Death is hard - for me I believe it is not the end, but it doesn't make it easier and for me losing the hubby's grandmother reminds me of the pain I felt when I lost my grandfathers and my nana and then guilt that I haven't seen my other nana in a few months, so I need to call her and tell her I love her.

When the hubs called to tell us that she passed, we broke down and sweetpea said, "can I paint my nails purple?" And then my wee man chimed in, "me too?" So, we ended up painting all of our nails purple in honor of Grandma. The kids shared their memories and both said, "every time I see a daisy, I will think of you." You lived a wonderful life and I'm blessed to have been a small part of it. RIP

“I am always saddened by the death of a good person. It is from this sadness that a feeling of gratitude emerges. I feel honored to have known them and blessed that their passing serves as a reminder to me that my time on this beautiful earth is limited and that I should seize the opportunity I have to forgive, share, explore, and love. I can think of no greater way to honor the deceased than to live this way.” - Steve Maraboli



“Whoever said that loss gets easier with time was a liar. Here's what really happens: The spaces between the times you miss them grow longer. Then, when you do remember to miss them again, it's still with a stabbing pain to the heart. And you have guilt. Guilt because it's been too long since you missed them last.” - Kristin O'Donnell Tubb

And So Comes a New Year.....

It's that time - a chance to start fresh, a new chapter awaiting to begin. A new year brings new challenges, new changes, new experiences, new memories. So much yet to start and then so many things to finish as well.
Last year I was looking forward to transitions into a healthier living as well as a more positive state of mind and recapped the year as a transformation and it really was. I'm definitely proud of the progress we made and continue to make. I've let go of expectations for myself and for others and enjoying each moment as it comes. If I had to recap 2014 for me in one word, it would be "Joy."
I've had wonderful experiences this year, tons of laughter, new friendships, embracing new things, overcoming challenges, and accepting things as they come. I'm blessed with a wonderful job and lots of volunteer opportunities and I look forward to a new year and what it may bring to our family.
We briefly talked about goals we may want to accomplish in 2015 - my sweet pea would like to run more 5K's, the hubs wants to run a full marathon, my little man wants to save his money to get the Lego Death Star, and as a family we are saving to make a trip to Aotearoa. I can't wait to take my children there and we hope to spend time in both the North and South Island. I want to go to Rawene, where my grandfather is from as well as visit family. My heart aches for New Zealand at times and so I think bringing the kids and letting them explore will be the deciding factor as to whether or not we actually take the big step and relocate. We've talked about it for years, but continue to stop because it is so far away from everything we know. The kids also want to try to eat a vegetarian diet for 30 days, which I don't think will be that hard, as we currently eat a 80% vegetable/plant based diet and 20% meat diet, but I could be wrong. We'll see how it goes.
As for me, I want to continue to work on improving myself in multiple ways through mind, body, and spirit. I also want to travel more. My soul yearns for something, but I've yet to figure out what, why, or the direction I need to go, but I feel like I'm somewhat heading in the right direction. I think part of that yearning is that I want to see more of the world. If we didn't have to work, I would drop it all and just take the kids to travel the world because I'm sure they would learn so much in those experiences than any school could provide.  I sometimes hold on to that thought - for me I work from home and could possibly continue to work remotely, but I don't think the hubs could pull that off, but it doesn't mean I can't stop dreaming of doing so.
I definitely want to start working on decluttering my life and will will start to let go of some of the volunteering that I do, I will still help out in various ways, but I wrote down a list of extra things I do besides work and the family and I need to let some things go and focus my attention on what matters most instead of trying to do a little bit of everything.
I have let a lot of things that I enjoy go because I simply don't have time to squeeze it in and so I need to refocus and continue to make time for those activities that I enjoy. I think what I struggle with the most is there are so many things close to my heart and I want to do it all and help, but it ends up stretching me thin and I end up feeling like I'm not helping at all whereas if I focus on what I really want to do to help, then I can accomplish more in that regard.  
Whatever your goals or wishes are for the new year - I wish you light, love, and happiness!


"Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
Whispering 'it will be happier'...”  - Alfred Tennyson

Good Tidings to You

It is Christmas Eve and although I worked for about half of the day, the kids and I enjoyed the day. We talked about the Christmas Story, which lead to a discussion about different religions and how similar and different each religion is. The kids asked if we practice a specific religion and I said no, but that I think it is important that they know about different religions because at some point in their life one or none may speak to them. I told them the important thing is that we do the right thing and we treat people with kindness even if someone doesn't deserve our kindness. We shared memories of times past, sang Christmas songs, danced a bit, and then invited nana over for a cup of tea and cookies.
As Christmas is always a time of reflection for me, I feel so blessed and I'm thankful everyday for what I have and the people around me.
We did our advent Random Acts of Kindness and the last one was take treats to the fire/police station, so we did that and the kids asked if we can do this every year. I said of course, because I'm never going to tell them no when it comes to giving and doing things for others.
I got an early present...the hubs surprised me with a whole new home office, which I desperately needed. My desk was falling apart, but I kept making excuses about purchasing a new one. I said maybe one more year and not to mention that half of the space was the kids playroom, so there were toys everywhere. The kids and hubby spent the day painting and putting together a new office, my dad even pitched in and helped carry it in. When they finally showed me I was stunned and overwhelmed with emotion. I truly have an amazing family.
Christmas is always a time of bonding and I struggle with how to help those who are struggling during this time regardless if it is personal issues, financial, or whatever the reason. The hubs and I were talking about how good it feels to give and I wish I had the means to truly impact people's lives in a positive way. I try to do what I can, but I always feel it is not enough.
I started to get a bit emotional, not in a bad way, but in a "your heart is so full and feels like it will burst" kind of way and called my parents to tell them how much I love them. I know there are people who struggle in some sort of way, I know that there is disharmony in the world, I know we are destroying this earth, I know we treat some people in unkind ways and yet I try to look for all the positives. I try to show my children that life is beautiful, that life is kind, and that life is short...tomorrow is not promised. So love often and love hard and be forgiving! 

I'm not sure how you will spend your holiday, but I wish you a wonderful year, good health and all the blessings you desire!!!!

"Sit with someone special in a room lit only by Christmas tree lights and remember that your blessings outnumber your lights." - Unknown

Enjoying our Random Acts

So everyday the kids have been pulling a random act out of the jar and we complete that for the day. I think the one the kids have enjoyed the most thus far was the candy cane bomb. We got some candy canes and passed them out. Today was sing a christmas song to someone. We also picked up some gifts for the Boys and Girls club - one of the restaurants had cards with a child's name and gift request and we took four. The kids were shocked to see what some of these kids were asking - some of the requests included pajamas, t-shirts, hair accessories, action figures, and a skate board. I think the kids realized how lucky they are. The kids shopping for others and we dropped the gifts back off at the restaurant tonight.
The kids school is also collecting items for the Children and Family Services of Iowa - so we've been collecting items for that and will be dropping those off on Friday.
I'm glad to see the kids really getting into the spirit of giving, the kids said, "it felt so good to give."

“Ask your children two questions this Christmas. First: What do you want to give to others for Christmas? Second: What do you want for Christmas? The first fosters generosity of heart and an outward focus. The second can breed selfishness if not tempered by the first.”
~ Author Unknown

Spreading Holiday Joy

I try to think of different ways for the family to get involved in the Christmas spirit, so this year I made a Random Acts of Kindness Jar and then put various different "acts of kindness" in the jar (one for every day of the month). So each day, the kids will pull one act, which then the family has to do on that day.
We haven't started just yet, so tomorrow will be our first day, but the kids are excited to begin their Christmas Kindness countdown.

"Joy is a decision, a really brave one, about how you are going to respond to life." Wess Stafford

Our Christmas Kindness Jar

Our random acts

Thankful Thoughts

Thanksgiving is definitely a time to be reflective for what you have and indeed I am thankful everyday for what I have and who I am.

We took some food and pies down to the Fire/Police station in our city to say thanks for all they do. It was a small token of our appreciation, I don't put my life on the line for my job and sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the negativity that we forget that at the end of the day, we are all trying.


We then left and headed down to Honey Creek where we have been spending our thanksgivings for the last several years, this will be our fourth. It is a great time, the kids get to swim and the food is always good. This year we stayed in one of their cabins, which was nice. I've mentioned in my previous blogs that I would like a tiny home and while we were in the cabin, it was nice to hear from the kids and hubby that the cabin was plenty of room. The hub then measured it and we figured it was 875 sq ft, now this is not by any means considered "tiny," but for a family of four, there is no way we could move into one of those tiny homes where it is no more than 200 sq ft. Yet for me, hoping to downsize, I feel like it was a success to hear those words. We enjoyed our stay, the kids did snow angels in the freshly covered ground in their swimsuits and then came running into the cabin filled with laughter.

I have much to be thankful for - in the past two months some friends have lost loved ones - sisters, life partners, and it makes you appreciate even more how precious life is. I have my health, my children, my husband, and my family and friends. I'm tremendously grateful for all the blessings and experiences in my life that help shape me into the person I am.

Over the last few months, I've been reading several books, one of which is titled "The Joy of Living," and so far it has been a book that resonates with my heart and one that I have been trying to implement into my daily living. There have been a few passages that have had some type of impact for me, the first was "that there is only one possible motive behind someone's behavior: the desire to feel safe or happy. And if people say or do something hurtful, it is because they don't feel safe or happy."
Sometimes it is so hard for us to remember such a simple truth, but it is something I have been trying to remind myself when I find myself questioning certain behaviors and something I had to recently explain to my kids when their feelings were hurt by someone, having to explain that even though something horrible was said, they can't take it personally and they have to realize that something within that person brings them unhappiness (whether it is realized or not). I struggle with trying to remember this when they come to us and share their feelings because my initial feeling is anger, but then I try to focus on the bigger picture and see it for what it is, but trying to explain this can also be a challenge. So, I allow my kids to feel their emotion, but remind them that they have to be the rainbow in someone else's cloud, which Maya Angelou said at her speech at Drake University. When I asked my wee man if he said anything back, he said, "it was hard because I was so shocked and all I wanted to do was yell what is wrong with you and hit him, but I said nothing." And I told him he handled it perfectly. I have great kids and I can only hope that they grow into kind and generous individuals. 

The other passage was.."is simply remember that the universe is filled with an infinite number of beings and to think, Just as I want happiness, all beings want happiness. Just as I wish to avoid suffering, all beings wish to avoid suffering. I am just one person, while the number of other beings is infinite. The well-being of this infinite number is more important than that of one."  which I felt was appropriate to share on a day where we are reflective. I have an abundance of love that surrounds me and sometimes I feel how did I ever get so lucky when there are so many others that are more deserving or in need.

So, however you spend this day I hope it is joyful and full of many blessings!

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust