I went to bed mad last night and isn't there advice somewhere out there saying you shouldn't? I don't like going to bed mad, but I was upset, frustrated, and saddened. For the last month, the hubs has made little snide remarks about the cleanliness of the house and last night I had just about enough.
I don't know what sparked it, but he said something to the effect "at least I don't leave a mess where ever I go" and I snapped and so the battle begun.
I was a clean freak prior to having children, I cleaned the house everyday and after number 1 - I continued to keep up with the chores. Once number 2 came, it slowed down to cleaning every two days, but once I began my MA program and we moved, I clean every 3 days and of course the hubs isn't specific to what his issue is, but yes there are days when I haven't god forbid picked up the toys. I counted last week the number of times I've picked up toys throughout the day...15 times. The kids are normally pretty good about helping pick up the toys, but still 15 times of picking up the same things...talk about repeatative.
Two weeks ago I removed all of Bubba's toys from his toy bins because the kids emptied them all over the floor and refused to pick them up, so I put them in trash bags and told them they would have to earn the toys back (which they have yet to earn back) so apparently they didn't need those toys and the toys are still sitting in bags downstairs.
It frustrates me beyond no end when the hubs makes snides remarks because he has no idea what my day is like, he gets to go to work and focus on "work." I do not have that ability and my children are at the age where they don't want to be stuck inside while mommy cleans and the way this winter has been, I don't blame them. They are not babies anymore, where I can lay them down and clean - they are active, busy toddlers wanting to explore their world.
And my house is not a mess, the beds are made everyday, toys are picked up, and for the most part dinner is cooked and ready to eat when he comes home.
I'm frustrated because I'm working on my MA and my overall GPA is a 3.9 and in my two current classes I've got A's and this is no easy task to maintain, some may think that because it is online it is easy and if you have every taken an online course you quickly learn you are working twice as hard. I work hard to keep the kids healthy and happy and maintain a good home. I work hard for my grades and I do work hard to keep things organized. If there are days when there are toys on the floor or the third load of laundry hasn't been folded, instead of freaking criticizing me...lend a hand instead of making me feel like I don't measure up to "your standards."
2 comments:
Are we married to the same man??? That sounds so much like my husband. They have NO idea what it's like to be home all day. I work from home and like your classes it's so tough to get in enough work and entertain the kids and clean and do laundry and cook and... I get frustrated myself that I can't get enough things in during the day so it makes it worse when he comes home and gets upset that the house isn't perfectly clean. My husband hates having things laying around. Guess what? We have 2 young kids! There are going to be toys around the house. There's going to be clutter. It's just a fact of life with young kids. It really makes me mad when he comes home and then sits around because he needs to unwind. I do the bath/bedtime routine with both kids and then have to come down and clean up the kitchen. It's frustrating. I can relate! And you have every right to be mad. You are doing just fine! Don't let him make you feel like you're not.
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