Stepping Back

I'm beyond stressed, I have two weeks left in this semester and papers to finish, work on my graduation application and portfolio and of course there is just not enough hours in the day to keep up and not to mention everything else in my life that seems to be unfolding at the same time.
I broke down and cried...I don't think I could hold it in any longer or hide it. And I know that things will work out, I just hate feeling out of balance and that is how I feel, like things in my life are failing and then I realized I'm attracting negative energy so of course I'm feeling this way, it is a vicious cycle that is sucking me in.

So I'm stepping back and focusing on what really matters - whakamana nga nea nui (acknowledging the important things in life). Tomorrow is a new day that brings a new month, so I'm going to start my positive visualization of everything falling into place and working things out in a positive direction because seriously after this semester, I have one semester left till graduation. When I think of when I started this MA program, it was right after I left my full-time job to be a stay-at-home mom...wow, it has been that long. It really feels like I started this program like a month ago, it doesn't seem like it has been two years.
And I know that all the other crap going on in my life is meaningless in regards to the greater things in life and I just need to remind myself of that...yes, every now and then I need to kick my own rear-end and then again, I also need to give myself a break, instead of trying to juggle it all.

So, I'm throwing it all up in the air and letting things fall into place because what will be, will be and it will all work out in the end....right?

"How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light." - Barry Lopez