Slowly, but surely

Our basement clean up is done, the drywall has been hung, carpet laid, and now we are just doing the minor finishes. The vanity cabinet to the bathroom has to be installed and and the plumbing reconnected, but we are almost done. It has taken a little over a month to clean-up after the sewage backup and we are still waiting to hear from the City's insurance company as to whether or not they are going to compensate us for what our insurance didn't cover.
There is no doubt that there is and has been a problem with the sewers in this town as one city employee already told hubby there was, so we will see if they step up and remedy the situation.

It has been a stressful mess, but I'm glad to see we are almost done and that we can get our lives somewhat back to normal. I know that we are lucky as it could have been worse.

When Do You Call It Quits.....

Lately, I've been doing some thinking as to what is the breaking point in a marriage? When do you stay and when do you say, I tried, but enough.
A friend finds out that his spouse is having an affair with her best friend and then finds out she is also sleeping with her best friend's spouse, so she leaves him because she is discovering herself. So he watches the kids so she can discover herself and even though he is hurt, would take her back, if she came. And although the situation is different, in the last few months that I have heard of couples splitting, I find it heartbreaking.

I hate hearing that someone I know is going through difficult times. I also know that marriage takes work, a lot of work and in fact the last few weeks have been extremely stressful for hubby and I that we started arguing more often than usual. Trying to clean up our basement while maintaing everything else that is on our plate has played its toll and began to wear on us both emotionally and physically. And as I was confiding my woes to my endearing friend at dinner, she asked if I could imagine my life without him, to which I replied, absolutely NO, but I thought for a moment about what life would be like if one day it got to that point where a person decides that enough is enough and I decided I was tired of being a wife and left, would my hubby be better off, would my children, would I? And afterwards, I realized no - I want to grow old with my hubby, I want to be his ever after.
I also realize that our issues do not compare to my friends, I know there are underlying issues going on that can only be addressed by a professional, I just find it sad that he is hurting and that his two little boys are hurting as well.
My friend told me that hubby and I need more couple time together, we never make time for the two of us and I know she is right, but I love spending time with my kiddies and my hubby together, yet I also realize that if we don't make couple time that one day one of us may wake up and not realize who the other person is and that scares me.
And as my friend dropped me off, she said, "go get your man and give him long kiss." I told her I couldn't, we had been fighting for the last few days, hadn't kissed in a week, and I just couldn't take the rejection...she looked at me and repeated, "go get your man."

So I did....

Welcome to the World...

Brayden made his debut this morning, congrats to Jenny and Brandon!
I know he will fill your life with joy and the occassional mess, but it is entirely worth it!
I look forward to taking on the role of "Aunty" and promise to do my best at such role.

We went up to see the new family and I forgot at how small the new babies are, he was all bundled up and just as precious as could be - when I held him, he opened up an eye and you could see his mop of dark hair poking out of his little hat. They change so quickly, especially those first few weeks. And of course, it brings back memories of my own little ones, which seems like yesterday, but also so long ago.

So I'm going to take a moment to list some advice (at least what I think)

• Take the help you are offered - those first few weeks are going to be a struggle as you adjust, so if someone offers to bring dinner or clean your house - take it...it doesn't matter if they clean like you - it takes one thing off of your mind. (this was one I struggled with and in the end, you'll be glad you did)
• Sleep when baby sleeps - again you'll want to do all the stuff that you can't do when the baby is awake, but as a new mommy, you need rest
• Baby Blues are normal - sometime during those first few weeks, you may have some episodes of crying for no reason or anixety, if it continues for a couple months then you may want to talk to someone
• One day you will forget what life was like prior - I don't know what it is, but one day you will realize that you just couldn't imagine life any differently
• If in doubt, ask - I don't know how many times I called the peditricians office to ask "is this normal" There were plenty of times I felt silly asking, but I felt a ton better afterwards.
• Relax and enjoy the moment - they are not babies forever and someday they won't want you to hold them, so cuddle, hold, and simply enjoy the fact that you are holding a miracle.

Okay, so now here are reasons why it's great to be a parent (again only what I think)

• Feeling a tiny fist wrap around your finger
• Gazing into your child's eye and knowing they completely and utterly trust you
• The smell of a new baby - nothing greater
• The first time you pick up your crying baby and they instantly stop because they know it's you
• Seeing new qualities in your partner that you never saw before
• Watching your child sleep
• The first smile that your baby makes
• The first giggle you hear and how contagious it is
• Seeing yourself in your child
• Discovering the child in yourself
• Discovering a forgotten favorite child's book or toy
• watching your baby's expression when you enter a room
• The first time you hold your child's hand when you cross the street
• The first time you hear you baby say Mommy or Daddy and "I Love You"
• Enjoying the chance at being silly again
• bubbles
• Re-discovering the world again through your child's eye
• Lots of hugs and kisses

Alright, so that is all I could think of for now, but there are no words to say how life changing having children was for me and I hope you find it as wonderful and beautiful as I have. And don't get me wrong, there are going to be sleepless nights, crying, fussing, but know that this will pass and it is all part of the watching this little tiny being blossom into greatness.

"A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."-- Eda J. Le Shan

Happy Father's Day

Happy Daddy's Day to fathers everywhere!

Today, I'm letting my man sleep in and then we will go to brunch and celebrate. It is so much fun to be a parent and I'm fortunate to have such a hubby who provides for us so I am able to stay at home with our children these first few years of their lives and most importantly who is such a wonderful daddy that the kids absolutely light up when they see him. I love you, babe - you are a great daddy!

And I couldn't continue on without mention of my father, a quiet man who has always been a rock for me. Growing up I hated how he was in the military, how often we moved, and how he would be gone for periods of time and missed my Girl Scout Father/Daughter Dance, but it really wasn't until he retired after 26 years in the service and we moved for the last time that I realized how much his military life impacted mine. And I wouldn't change any of it, I've been able to live in many places, see beautiful places, and experience lots of things that have helped shape my life today.

My dad would do anything for any of us kids, no questions asked (well perhaps some questions with a bit of advice thrown in), but we know we can turn to him, we know we can count on him just as I did when I had trouble in softball with my hitting - he took me outside and for hours he just threw ball after ball or most recently when hubby was in IL and the sewage water started coming into the basement and my dad rushed over and stayed till 3:30 a.m trying to move anything that was in the way. And no matter how old I get, he is my Super Dad!

So happy father's day to my dad! And happy father's dad to hubby!

"A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty." -- Unknown

What A Mess....

Last Thursday around 11:30 pm, I woke up to hear a bubbling sound - the kids and I were sleeping in the basement since we were in tornado watch. I walk over to the sump pump and see it working hard and so I go into the bathroom and step in water.....and see this rush of water coming out of the shower drain. I immediately went into a panic since hubby was still over six hours away. I ended up calling my dad and he came over and called 911, we went outside and our neighbors were experiencing this same thing. After about 12 hours of sewage water coming into our basement, it stopped, but only after hubby called the DNR to report that the city of Windsor Heights was not willing to do anything to help.

So we spent Saturday tearing out carpet, collecting our damaged items and then finally disinfecting the basement. Yet, more was to come.....

Sunday about 11:00 am, I went downstairs to remove some more of what was "saved" and sure enough I hear the sound again and here comes sewage coming out of the shower and toilet. This time it was twice as fast and disgusting, we had about 13 inches of sewage floating in our basement, anything that was saved, was now ruined. Hubby asked if the city was going to bypass again, to which he was told no...so hubby had to call the DNR again and what do you know...here comes the city to begin pumping. The second incident lasted about 22 hours - once is hard enough, but twice - I was ready to melt, however, I knew that I wasn't the only one going through it and I didn't want my babies to know something was wrong. At one point, I did start to cry and my sweet pea came over and handed me her blankie. I just wrapped my arms around her!

So we are now cleaned up, but it is still a mess and we don't know if it will happen again....I suppose we will find out soon...

Graduation Fever

Last weekend, I watched my little brother graduate from high school and it reminded me of my own and how much I have changed since that time and I wonder how much will he change in 10 years.
There was a moment when the commencement speaker was telling these young graduates to read...she said, "read your college textbooks, read for the fun it or read to a young person...do you remember that feeling as a child when you would sit on someone's lap and they would read to you, well do it for someone else, but read."
It was this moment that I broke down, I couldn't help myself because at that moment, I was flooded with all the moments of when I would read to him or how often he would follow me and how frustrated I would get and now I'm lucky if I even get him to stop and say hello.
By all means he is no longer the little boy I remember and he is at a point where he is unsure of his plans, college, job corp, or what...and no matter how many times I stress it, he just needs to get away for the kids he is running about with now. I know he isn't listening.
I know he doesn't believe in himself that he can finish college as he barely got by high school, but I believe in him. And I ask myself will he find himself and straighten out, but I wonder as he continues to hang with the people he is associating himself with - will he change, will he come into the person I know he can be or will he take the lazy road to life. I hope not because I know he is capable of more, he is good, he is smart, but he just isn't acting it right now. And then should we even ask that of him as he struggles to find himself because really graduation from high school is really only the beginning.

"Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference." ~Arie Pencovici

Picking Sunshine

The sun was shinning and it was just a beautiful day, so I asked my kids if they wanted to go on a picnic for lunch. We packed a quick lunch, the always reliable PBJ, raisins, cheddar goldfish and pretzels. I grabbed a ball and a blanket and we headed off and we found a nice spot to lay the blanket down and have a picnic.
My sweet pea rolled over on her back and just had the biggest smile on her face, I loved it. Then my little man took his shoes off and started picking the dandilions, sniffing them and so his sister decided to help. They picked a whole bunch and she handed them to me and said, "here mommy, we picked sunshine for you, a whole bunch too."

It is in these moments that I just love and want to pause, freeze the moment, and put it in my pocket. They are young for such a sort time and every day I see something new and wonderous. My little girl is now asking with every word she hears or sees, "What letter does water begin with?" And as I tell her, she practices and my little man, he is just talking in full sentences now and I am like where did my baby boy go? I want to expose them to every wonder of the world, I've started teaching them their body parts in Maori and some Spanish. I can't get over how quickly they recall it - they impress me everyday!