Wilderness Awe

"The mountains are calling and I must go," said John Muir and I know it well. I feel it in the depths of my soul when I'm in Aotearoa and when I hit a landscape that reminds of home, it calls and pulls at my heart.
We decided at the last minute to take the kids on one last summer adventure before school started. So we knew we would drive and since we went to Niagara Falls last summer we decided to head West to Colorado.
I have been there via the Denver airport, but that was it - we were going to go for my graduation ceremony, but it was the middle of winter and driving didn't seem like a good idea at the time, so we didn't attend the ceremony, other than the glimpse I had seen from the airport windows, that was my experience. Hubby had been as a kid, skiing with his dad. I was excited to see the Rocky Mountains.
So, we jumped in the car and drove West and our first stop was Estes Park to the Rocky Mountain National Park. We stopped and did some very basic, very easy hiking and at first the kids were all game and then as we continued on the Rocky Mountain Trail Ridge Road and would stop, hike some more, the kids got tired, antsy and complain. We eventually told them that when they got older and had kids of their own, they could take this same trek and tell their kids the story of when mom and dad forced them to climb this trail and how horrible it was, but how much they loved it once they got to the top, they didn't like that and informed us that they would carry their kids. I said remind me of this conversation in twenty or so years.
The Trail Ridge Road was breathtaking, we saw some Elk and it is just amazing and I'm so grateful that we still have places that are not developed and are left for generations to come and enjoy this piece of nature, wilderness.

From there we headed to Breckenridge where we got to relax a bit and hit the Alpine Slide. You get to take the chair lift to the top of the mountain and then sit on a plastic sled type thing (it does have a brake) and then slide down to the bottom via some twists and turns down the mountain. It was more fun than I had anticipated and the kids just had a blast.



Then it was on to one of the places that I have always wanted to visit - Mesa Verde National Park where the cliff dwellings are. And wow, I was not expecting to feel what I felt - it was amazing. Rocky Mountain National Park was beautiful, but Mesa Verde - is special - there is something inherently remarkable about the land, that it draws you in, wanting more. We took two tours - one at Cliff Palace and the other at Balcony House. Right before we were getting ready to leave, we stopped to take a photo and I saw a man walking by, I smiled, he smiled and I said, "this is beautiful, I'm in awe." He stopped and started to speak and informed us that just a few steps over was the reservation side of the park....he was part of the Ute Native Indian tribe and part of the park belongs to them. He pointed to a direction and said that some members sell fry bread, jewelry and things over there and we should stop by. And then he said that visitors are not allowed within the reservation side without a member of the tribe. I told him that I was just taking a photo here and would not disrespect the grounds - he then came closer and said, come with me.
He then lead us through a closed road and into the reservation side - he said the view is better here and took us for a short walk directly atop a cliff and he was right, the view was stunning.
I was quickly overcome with emotion and thanked him for this amazing moment.  All of us stood there for a bit in silence, just listening....you could hear the ravens.
We headed back and he told us about the Ute Native Indian tribe and some history, and some of what they believe about the cliff dwellings.
We parted and I hugged him - I felt close to him in those brief moments. I'm sure if we were to go back, I would want to visit the Ute Mountain Tribal Park.





Our final stop before heading home was in Pagosa Springs. We were going to head straight home from Mesa Verde, but decided as we were approaching Pagosa Springs to stop and enjoy soaking in the hot pools.  So we did, we capped off our summer trip with a nice soak in the hot springs and reflected on the last few days.

Sometimes I get sad because of what we are doing to this earth and how little we appreciate the gifts that this land truly is, but then I'm hopeful that my children will see these amazing places and be inspired to preserve what we are not, to cherish these sacred lands. 
I love being in nature, feeling the ground beneath, it makes you realize how small you really are and it really makes you appreciate the land for what it is, the simple beauty that is. It makes you pause and even if it is for a moment, reflect on something greater - connected to all things.

"So extraordinary is Nature with her choicest treasures, spending plant beauty as she spends sunshine, pouring it forth into land and sea, garden and desert. And so the beauty of lilies falls on angels and men, bears and squirrels, wolves and sheep, birds and bees...." - John Muir

Mom's Night Out...

Monday night is just as good as any night for a mom's night out....I was invited to get some dinner and enjoy some drinks with a friend and her friend, whom I had not met before.
It's always a little unnerving meeting other women, especially when you don't them and I think it is because for the most part, we've been brought up in asociety where females tend to compete with one another. I enjoyed hanging with these women because sometimes when you get in a group of different women, somewhere in the conversation negative stereotypes pop up, self-criticism comes in or other negative attitudes arise and what I found was none of those popped up in our conversations. It didn't become a "bitchfest" at all and not that all girls night turn into that, it was just refreshing.
And what a great night it was...it wasn't too long before the stories started to go around, lots of laughs, and even some swearing was tossed around. It was a great evening and it was great to be surrounded with such empowering women. I was just grateful to enjoy the night for what it was. I don't get out for many "Girls or Moms" nights, not because I don't want too, but it seems our schedules are so busy that I can't make it and often what results is people stop asking, but as I was thinking this morning, I realized I really need to make more time for those evenings. I didn't realize how much I miss it till now.....

Thank you ladies for including me in your night!


"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass." - Maya Angelou.

Hidden

Sometimes life can be so overwhelming that everything seems hidden - even if it is right before your eyes. This summer has been a wonderful, full of decisions journey. We listed our home for sale by owner, have shown it a few times, but no offers, which is okay with me. We really don't know where we are going, so I feel when the time is right, the opportunity will present itself.
I passed on a job opportunity with a great company - I was honest with them in my decision making and the timing was just not right. I enjoy what I do and I enjoy the people I work with - sometimes change may present itself, but I say only go into it if your heart is in it. The kids start school in a matter of weeks and where or what we did is beyond me - we are planning a trip the week before the kids go back, but it seems like summer went and came in the blink of an eye.
I recently watched a film on Netflix, titled Life in a Day, which was a series of video clips selected from 80,000 clips submitted to Youtube, showing respective occurrences from around the world on a single day, July 24, 2010. The strange thing was I watched it on July 24th - without a thought until I realized halfway through the date. It was fun to watch and made me feel a bit sad for the turmoil of what is taking place in Gaza with Israel and Palestine - there is no winner in situations like that. I clearly remember being in 5th and 6th grade when I became aware there was turmoil in the Middle East and the conflict of there and thinking how great it would be to have peace one day and that it could be accomplished, "if only they knew...," but unfortunately politicians run the world and peace is not profitable. The amount of money the US government is sending in "aid," is astounding. And I don't have a side - I stand with Israel, but not its actions and I stand with the Palestine. I often find myself what type of world we are leaving for our children, what lessons will they learn? As a child, I clearly remember the day when I realize my great nanny was ashamed of her skin color and how sad that made me feel because in my eyes she was a beautiful woman and it stuck with me and I remember growing up thinking that "I" could change the world....we participated in events like "farm aid" and "hands across America" and I think it was events like those, that lead me to believe that one day things would be different...one day people would realize the value of a person's life - would see beyond...wouldn't life be grand....imagine.
And now I have children of my own, and I am starting to doubt humanity - what are we leaving them? Food that is polluted with chemicals and toxins, a water supply that we treat as our personal dumping grounds, the killing of animals without thought of the consequences and treating life as if it is nothing. I feel as if I am becoming jaded....which is ironic because personally life is wonderful, but I struggle with what is the impact that I am leaving my children.  My hubby organizes a local stream clean up on an annual basis and each year the number of people who participates grows and I think it is great, but is it making an impact? We often get tied up in our own world that we overlook what life might be like for someone else and in today's world with the resources we have, we should be in a better place and we are not. We are taking everything for granted, yet what do we do? For myself, I try to be a good role model for my children, but I don't know if that is enough? It's weird because we are connected digitally, but often I feel ever more hidden.


“You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”- John Lennon

Walked in as a stranger, left with much more......

As soon as I heard about the Public Montessori UnConference, I knew I wanted to attend, here was an opportunity to meet-up with educators, researchers, parents, supporters of public Montessori with the idea to share the challenges and successes, including discussion on  ways to expand Montessori education for all children.
It was hosted by the City Garden Montessori School in St. Louis, whose mission is to provide high-quality education to a diverse student population following the philosophy of Maria Montessori, and to cultivate young people who value and respect themselves, others, the environment, and the world community. 

What I immediately loved was the idea of this open space conference where "whoever shows up is the meant to be there and whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened."
On the first evening, we were asked to write down the topics we wanted to talk about and then I sat in wonderment as we went around with introductions and instantly ideas and thoughts were flowing; stories of challenges and success were shared, and all were ready to talk about what can be done with public Montessori, how can we expand this type of education for all children.  Discussion focused on certification requirements (both state and Montessori), accountability, cost of starting up, parent education, state laws, the language that is used within traditional public school vs Montessori, and anti-biased anti-racist - learning to exist together.
Immediately you could sense that it was a group of individuals full of passion - it was indeed the right group. And part of me, since I'm just a parent, felt a bit intimidated to be with these individuals who are already changing the face of public Montessori in their own ways. It was overwhelming and exciting.

The next day, I walked in feeling energized and ready to learn as much as I could. We broke up into different sessions - I went to the discussions about breaking the myth that Montessori is only for the elite, advocacy - how do you spread the word, social justice, fundraising, and policy changes. I took away a lot - I loved learning what Oglesby was doing in Chicago's South Side communities. There was a ton of discussion taking place and it was inspiring to be in a room of these individuals who are all committed to public Montessori as a means in helping every child reach their full potential.

The biggest thing that I walked away with, is that I could be doing more to, should be doing more and after listening and talking with these individuals it only validated that and inspires me to make change, to perhaps have conversations that make us uncomfortable so we can open our eyes - that Montessori is for all and should be part of the education reform.

At dinner, the discussions continued and although, I walked in as a stranger, I left feeling as if I've made new friends parting ways with hugs and realizing that these are the people; the ones who are changing the world.

One of the directors for the "Building the Pink Tower" attended and I had seen the trailer prior to this event and I'm so excited for this film to release - I hope that it will be viewed by parents and it will create the buzz that is needed to get this movement going. Best of Luck to those involved in this project! Here is the link

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead

"No love or friendship can ever cross our path without affecting us in some way forever." - Muriac

A lot Going on....

The last few weeks have been busy - I recently became the President of the kids parent group at school, so I'm trying to learn the ropes of that. We recently were one of several homes that hosted the first Urban Tour de Cluck - it is a bike ride throughout the metro touring urban chicken coops. It was fun, we had about 30 or so people go through and visit our coop and chickens.
And we also decided to put our house on the market - the hubs wants an acreage, so we decided to list it as For Sale By Owner right now, because we are not in a hurry - we need to find land to build our house on. Once we do that, then we will most likely get a realtor to actually list it, but there are three other house for sale on our street, so we figured we might as well take advantage of people driving by with sticking a sign in our yard.
It is bittersweet - I look forward to building a house the way we want and having a larger space, but I really love the home and community we live in - change is hard, but I look at it as if things are meant to be, life will sort itself out.I want to stay within 20 minutes and no more than 30 minutes of the metro - so hopefully we will find land that suits what we want - the hub knows someone who offered to sell us 10 acres of his large farm, but it is further than I want to be, but like I said, whatever will be, will be.

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I celebrated simply by being with my children - I got breakfast in bed, a beautiful ring, letters, and drawings. We did make a run to the ER around 7:00 pm because my little man has been sick the last few days and was having symptoms similar to appendicitis - I knew it was either a stomach bug or appendicitis, he kept saying that he was in horrible pain on the lower right side and I debated about waiting to take him to the doctors in the morning, but the thought of it bursting and causing more damage if we waited scared me, so in the end we went to the ER - they gave him some tests and said he was a bit dehydrated, so gave him an IV for fluids and felt that it was more a virus than appendicitis and decided not to do a CT scan, but she said if his condition worsened to bring him back immediately. He woke up this morning and seems a bit better, so hopefully he is on the mend.

If you are a mother, I hope you celebrated your day in a wonderful and special way! 

Days 10 and 11 and you guessed it Poems 10 and 11

I got a bit behind so I'm posting yesterday's poem and today's poem


Yesterday as I was waiting to pick up the kids I happened to watch some scattered leaves

Untitled
By DBF
© 2014

the wind blows
the leaves dance
among the scattered branches
one, two, three fall
ever so gracefully
suspended in time
just for a brief moment
till it lands
upon the hard cracked surface


Dreams
By DBF
© 2014

I wait
for what
I'm not sure
yet I feel it
something
coming in the stillness
wanting more
greatness
aspirations
but I can't quite
grasp it
testing me
I wait
as each day passes
I grow
in hopes that
I will seek
whatever it is
that calls me 

It's day 9...guess what that means....Poem 9

This poem is one I wrote after my nana passed away, but I took some time to revise it

Memories
By DBF
© 2014

There is a light
that never leaves.
It's where you will
find your dreams.

The memories I try
to keep,
remembering
the details of your face
and your warm loving embrace.

There is a light
that never leaves.
It's where you will
find me holding on
to you.