Enjoying our Random Acts

So everyday the kids have been pulling a random act out of the jar and we complete that for the day. I think the one the kids have enjoyed the most thus far was the candy cane bomb. We got some candy canes and passed them out. Today was sing a christmas song to someone. We also picked up some gifts for the Boys and Girls club - one of the restaurants had cards with a child's name and gift request and we took four. The kids were shocked to see what some of these kids were asking - some of the requests included pajamas, t-shirts, hair accessories, action figures, and a skate board. I think the kids realized how lucky they are. The kids shopping for others and we dropped the gifts back off at the restaurant tonight.
The kids school is also collecting items for the Children and Family Services of Iowa - so we've been collecting items for that and will be dropping those off on Friday.
I'm glad to see the kids really getting into the spirit of giving, the kids said, "it felt so good to give."

“Ask your children two questions this Christmas. First: What do you want to give to others for Christmas? Second: What do you want for Christmas? The first fosters generosity of heart and an outward focus. The second can breed selfishness if not tempered by the first.”
~ Author Unknown

Spreading Holiday Joy

I try to think of different ways for the family to get involved in the Christmas spirit, so this year I made a Random Acts of Kindness Jar and then put various different "acts of kindness" in the jar (one for every day of the month). So each day, the kids will pull one act, which then the family has to do on that day.
We haven't started just yet, so tomorrow will be our first day, but the kids are excited to begin their Christmas Kindness countdown.

"Joy is a decision, a really brave one, about how you are going to respond to life." Wess Stafford

Our Christmas Kindness Jar

Our random acts

Thankful Thoughts

Thanksgiving is definitely a time to be reflective for what you have and indeed I am thankful everyday for what I have and who I am.

We took some food and pies down to the Fire/Police station in our city to say thanks for all they do. It was a small token of our appreciation, I don't put my life on the line for my job and sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the negativity that we forget that at the end of the day, we are all trying.


We then left and headed down to Honey Creek where we have been spending our thanksgivings for the last several years, this will be our fourth. It is a great time, the kids get to swim and the food is always good. This year we stayed in one of their cabins, which was nice. I've mentioned in my previous blogs that I would like a tiny home and while we were in the cabin, it was nice to hear from the kids and hubby that the cabin was plenty of room. The hub then measured it and we figured it was 875 sq ft, now this is not by any means considered "tiny," but for a family of four, there is no way we could move into one of those tiny homes where it is no more than 200 sq ft. Yet for me, hoping to downsize, I feel like it was a success to hear those words. We enjoyed our stay, the kids did snow angels in the freshly covered ground in their swimsuits and then came running into the cabin filled with laughter.

I have much to be thankful for - in the past two months some friends have lost loved ones - sisters, life partners, and it makes you appreciate even more how precious life is. I have my health, my children, my husband, and my family and friends. I'm tremendously grateful for all the blessings and experiences in my life that help shape me into the person I am.

Over the last few months, I've been reading several books, one of which is titled "The Joy of Living," and so far it has been a book that resonates with my heart and one that I have been trying to implement into my daily living. There have been a few passages that have had some type of impact for me, the first was "that there is only one possible motive behind someone's behavior: the desire to feel safe or happy. And if people say or do something hurtful, it is because they don't feel safe or happy."
Sometimes it is so hard for us to remember such a simple truth, but it is something I have been trying to remind myself when I find myself questioning certain behaviors and something I had to recently explain to my kids when their feelings were hurt by someone, having to explain that even though something horrible was said, they can't take it personally and they have to realize that something within that person brings them unhappiness (whether it is realized or not). I struggle with trying to remember this when they come to us and share their feelings because my initial feeling is anger, but then I try to focus on the bigger picture and see it for what it is, but trying to explain this can also be a challenge. So, I allow my kids to feel their emotion, but remind them that they have to be the rainbow in someone else's cloud, which Maya Angelou said at her speech at Drake University. When I asked my wee man if he said anything back, he said, "it was hard because I was so shocked and all I wanted to do was yell what is wrong with you and hit him, but I said nothing." And I told him he handled it perfectly. I have great kids and I can only hope that they grow into kind and generous individuals. 

The other passage was.."is simply remember that the universe is filled with an infinite number of beings and to think, Just as I want happiness, all beings want happiness. Just as I wish to avoid suffering, all beings wish to avoid suffering. I am just one person, while the number of other beings is infinite. The well-being of this infinite number is more important than that of one."  which I felt was appropriate to share on a day where we are reflective. I have an abundance of love that surrounds me and sometimes I feel how did I ever get so lucky when there are so many others that are more deserving or in need.

So, however you spend this day I hope it is joyful and full of many blessings!

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust

Where the days may lead...

I think I posted earlier that we took our house off the market since we are going into colder months and I don't want to deal with any thought of a move during that time. And it is the best decision because we can't decide what that next step is going to be - both of us have different ideas of what that looks like.
I look at these brand new homes and think yes, those are nice and look at all the space and again think, yes it is nice, but it is not me. There is no character and honestly I don't want to spend the rest of my life paying a mortgage for a house, I don't want to work to live, I want to work to play.
I realize that our culture tells us from earlier on that there are steps to becoming an adult and as you grow and earn a bit more, your spending habits increase and you should upgrade your home, your belongings, etc...and at one time in my life I definitely wanted that dream. I wanted a big house to have dinner parties and entertain.
Yet, the older I become the more I realize how all those things for me are simply illusions. And I don't want that, I don't need a huge expensive home. What I do want is to live a more simple life and I know that means different things to different people.
For me, it means letting go of all the non-essential stuff and doing more of the things I love and living in a home that provides us exactly what we need, no more, no less....(do we need a bigger home when we don't even use the extra space in our current home? Do I really need the 10 pairs of boots in my closet) - No, so for me it means evaluating what is most important to me and getting rid of everything else. Getting rid of the clutter so I'm left with only the things have give meaning. Yet, I get overwhelmed because I walk into a room and have no idea where to begin.
The goal for me is to start this process by looking at all my commitments (work, family, hobbies, volunteer projects, home, etc) and identifying what needs to stay and consider what is in line with my priorities and values and start to eliminate those that don't. Obviously, I need to work, and I do love what I do, so for me, my current job situation aligns nicely with my life priorities, but some of my commitments I took on thinking it was important, but have realized it is energy draining and I'm ready to let it go. I'll finish with my commitments, but will not renew any future commitment.
The other goal I have is for us as a family to start working on one room at a time and identifying the items that give us meaning and those that don't and being decluttering.
I don't know where this journey will take me, but I see friends lose family members, I see my children get older, I know I'm getting older and I realize the things I cherish the most are all the experiences I have with my friends, my family - the laughter between friends, the joy of watching a rugby game with your family, the peacefulness you feel when you are surrounded by nature, the intimate kiss with the person you love - that is what I want.
I've realized that if I were to leave this world tomorrow, the impact I have on my spouse or children is not what I have provided them in things, but the emotional support I have given them, the memories I have created. Realizing that tomorrow is not promised, I want more experiences, I want more memories to create. And I'd rather work really hard to live a simply life that lets me travel and see and do the things I want than work really hard to pay for a mortgage for the rest of my life, but I also realize I have a spouse and children to consider. So, is there idea the same as mine? No, not really - my sweet pea keeps insisting that our next house be a two-story home, my wee man - he says he doesn't care so long as he can take his legos. My hub - he wants land and a nice home, but is open...he doesn't want a tiny house because he knew I was going to suggest that after watching "Tiny" (knows me to well that man of mine)...so for now, I'll be patient and flexible and start with my winter plan of decluttering because at the end of the day, I am happy and content and I know I have everything I need.

“...there are often many things we feel we should do that, in fact, we don't really have to do. Getting to the point where we can tell the difference is a major milestone in the simplification process.”- Elaine St. James

Amazing Game

This past weekend, we went to Chicago to watch the test match rugby game between the USA Eagles and the NZ All Blacks and what a fantastic game. The All Blacks dominated the game, but that was no surprise, I anticipated a clear win. The kids enjoyed the game, both of them were on their chairs screaming and cheering. My wee man has yet to stop talking about the game. The American team played with all their hearts and they played well - what I enjoyed was the crowds. I didn't hear any booing or name calling, it was just a great crowd enjoying this opportunity to see the world class team. Solider Field was sold out - 62000 fans enjoying a rugby game. I felt somewhat torn as I have dual citizenship with USA and NZ and I think what I enjoyed most about the game was hearing the New Zealand national anthem being sung on US soil and then in turn singing the US national anthem - for me it was an awesome moment.

 My mum got a bit emotional hearing the New Zealand anthem being sung in Maori - she wasn't expecting that and I think it ties you back home, which at least that is how I felt. I've spend much of my life living in the US and I love living here, but at times my heart and soul yearn for New Zealand and I can't explain it. I've always felt torn between two places, lost not quite fitting in one or the other. When we left and I knew it would be a long time till I returned, I've always had an absence in my heart - a tug to go back to New Zealand and thankfully I've married someone who would move there and we have discussed it. I have my NZ passport ready in case I do see a job opportunity and definitely have and would consider the move there, but it is such a big move.
I hesitate to do it to my children. Not because they wouldn't adjust, I know they would love it and enjoy it, but I grew up not being close to my extended family (my dad's and my mum's) and it is hard - no matter how hard you try, you can't replace those bonds with grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles. Which is kind of ironic and sad because we have essentially no relationship with certain parts of the extended family, so it shouldn't matter, but I guess it boils down to I stay because my kids have relationships with their grandparents, and I hate the idea of taking that away regardless of how often they see any of their grandparents. 
In today's digital environment, I know that they would still have a relationship and I still had a relationship with my relatives, but you lose a connection and so when my cousin or family comes to visit from New Zealand, I light up because it reminds me of home and everything good that I still hold on to - for me that connection is deep and when I'm close to reminders of home, a part of me feels restored.
We are trying to plan for a trip to New Zealand with the kids and it will be stretch to send four people over there, but I want them to see it, experience it and then maybe we can discuss moving after they have been there.
Anyway, I was glad to witness this great sporting event and be part of the many fans cheering on the greatest team ever. I hope that Americans got a taste for rugby and it makes them want to see more of the USA Eagles - it would be good to see more rugby being broadcasted, not just because of the All Blacks, but because it is a great sport to watch.

Pallet Wall

The is a wall that I've always hated since we've lived in our home, it is the wall going down to the basement - it had this textured wallpaper that was plastered on and was just horrible. We try removing the wall paper, but it would pull chunks of the wall off leaving it uneven. The hubs fixed it, but it was still an eye sore. Then we came across a bedroom that had one wall completely covered in pallets and of course, lightbulb.....why don't we do that?
So, the hubs collected many pallets and I helped pull all the wood off and over a weekend, we had our pallet wall complete. I'm really happy with it and we didn't do the whole space, just one wall - I think if we were to have done all the walls, it would make the small space seem even smaller.
It is amazing how one simple change can really give your space a new look.

First Crushes and More.....

I had a great conversation with my kiddos last night - we talked about life for an 8 year old and 9 year old and lessons I want them to always remember. You see, when I picked up my sweet pea from school yesterday, she was excited and just carried herself a little differently that afternoon. So, of course, I pry and she informs me that she left a note inside the locker of whom she has a crush on. I said did you sign the note? And she looks at me like I'm crazy and as a matter of factly states...."no of course not, but I did tell him to guess."
She said she felt so great that she finally worked up the courage to do it and so I reminded her that she was great regardless of whether this boy felt the same way or not. She said she knew and said she didn't care if he did like her back. And as a mom, I don't want to encourage crushes nor discourage it either because I clearly remember my first crush, but part of me wants to avoid the subject all together. I think it is just the mere reminder that they are growing older and as sweet as first crushes seem, I know there will be others and I know that at some point, there will be tears, but I didn't - knowing that both my kids have crushes on individuals, I decided to just listen. I stopped asking questions and I just listened as they shared their thoughts with me.
After I knew they were done, we talked about respect and knowing that it's okay to have crushes and it's okay if these people like us back or not like us back. I then shared my first crush with them and as they asked questions, we spoke and towards the end of the conversation I told them five things that I wanted them to remember, not about crushes, but about qualities within that I see growing....I told them that this was not advice, but merely things I recognized in them that I appreciated and loved.....

1. Always Be You - My daughter questions EVERY thing, which sometimes drives me up the wall, I told her that asking questions is good, you learn invaluable things by asking and observing. I told her that it was only until I was older that I felt it was okay to question things and that it takes a strong sense of self and that regardless of what may come her way, to stay true to who she is. I told her that her confidence at 9 is something I didn't have till I was an adult.  I informed her that it is a the way we ask questions that enable us to grow. My wee man, he is my sensitive soul - like me, I believe he is an empath. He feels everything, hurts easily and also loves easily. He is most forgiving and is always thinking of others. I told him that sometimes he will feel isolated, but being sensitive means you have a huge heart and that you're not afraid to show your emotions. 
2. Find time to laugh - as they get older and as school progresses, I see that sometimes they get frustrated with various things - I told them that when they find that they are stressed or upset about something to find something that will make them laugh. Laughter is infectious and regardless of how upset or mad you may be at the time, when you start laughing instantly you feel better. I told them that if they need me to do something silly, if it will get them to laugh, I have no issues doing it!
3. Be Kind - there will always be mean people regardless of where you go - it took me a while to realize it, but people who are mean are most often lacking something in their own life. So be kind, it may not make a difference to that mean person, but people will always remember how you treat them, not by what you said. I also said, being kind doesn't mean you have to give in or even be nice - it means that even in disagreements you are showing politeness towards others. I reminded my daughter that to remember to be kind in your words when she questions things.  
4. It's okay if someone doesn't like you or if you don't like someone back - both of you will go through life and meet many people, some of them will like you, some of them may not and you in turn may not like that person and this is okay. As long as you follow number 3, it's okay. 
5. Be Courageous - It may scare you at first, but it leaves a lasting impression and sometimes could change your future. I told them that after the hubby and I met, I was the first one to call him, had I not had the courage to do so, I could have been waiting for his call. I reminded them that have courage also means to never be afraid to stand up for yourself or stand up for others - sometimes it may be hard to do this especially, but too often if we allow bad behavior or treatment to continue even when we know it is wrong it will only continue to grow or get worse. 

I love my little family - I love listening to their worldly ideas, there thoughts about the future and they know that I will always be honest with them. As a parent you hope and pray that you are providing the right tools to your children so they can navigate the world on their own and that is my hope. To walk gently upon this world, but for them to make their mark in their own way.

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there.
It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.”  - Ray Bradbury