A New Year Upon Us....

With the New Year ever so close, it is definitely a time of reflection. 2010 has been a horrible year emotionally, which oddly enough all began in December 2009, okay, I can't say it all began then, but the spark was lit. A few relationships have dissolved and so I think it is time for a new start.
I'm good with my insights/intuition of people, I've always been good at reading people and for that reason, I've been careful with who I allow into my circle. And for some time I have not followed my intuition...which to some extent has left my guard down and for me to fall into the situations I've been in and the "anger trap." Ah, yes, let's just say I fell into this one too many times this year. A lot of it is stress, there are times when I definitely feel like my own life is in disarray, not all the time, but sometimes and sometimes I feel like my hubby doesn't hear/see me and so it is easy to just go on, so I stop opening up to him.
However, you can't really grow or move on to a new start till you recognize and deal with your own faults and I can't believe I'm doing this, but hey I want to move forward, not backward, so here it is :

1. I don't recognize how sometimes I can come across to others - I've definitely been told that I can seem "cold or harsh"
2. I can be dismissive
3. I can hold people to high expectations/standards...this applies to myself too, I'm often harder on myself than others
4. I sometimes focus on the details rather than the big picture
5. I have an intense temper, when pushed to that level and I can be cutting
6. It is very difficult for me to relax, something I've dealt with all my life...I'm tense
7. I tend to hold grudges...I may forgive, but I definitely hold grudges unless it has been years and then I've just moved on
8. I have difficulty communicating my feelings to people I care about, I can do it easily with pen, but I can't seem to verbalize it
9. I can be stubborn
10. I don't handle stress very well, I internalize it
11. I don't let to many people get to close...hard to get to know
12. My feelings get hurt rather easily
13. Okay, this can go either way...emotional
14. For the most part, I'm a conflict avoider...I will hold my tongue because I don't want to cause any pain or hurt to anyone
15. I bottle my feelings up till I've had enough or pushed and so this ties into the above statement and number 5 and maybe even 7

And I'm sure there are more, but I think that is a good start...as I was writing the list, I wanted to take some off as I felt I could "justify" my behavior, but then I stopped myself because justifying it, is not facing it or dealing with it...so I forced myself to add it to the list. There are a lot of weaknesses and I think I would have a harder time coming up with strengths, but I will try.

1. I'm a good listener and will do what I can to make someone feel better or at ease
2. I'm empathic and concerned with others
3. I'm good at reading people and can pick up on things that may not seem so obvious to others
4. I can look at things from different perspectives...however this can also be a weakness
5. I'm not afraid of hard work, if I put my mind to something I will do it
6. I'm idealistic...this too can also be a weakness
7. I will sacrifice and do whatever is needed for my children/family
8. I'm a friend for life..my circle is small, but I will be a long-standing friend
9. I like to do things for other people
10. I will find my own way...I don't necessarily follow mainstream (also could be a weakness)
11. I'm a good negotiator
12. I prefer balance and harmony in my life

Okay, so my weakness out list my strengths....so what is next? Well, I need to work on the weaknesses and find a balance between the two. If I find myself becoming angry, I need to walk away, calm down and then re-enter. And I need to go to my old self thinking..that everyone has something to offer, even those that I have issues with, so what is next...

• feed and embrace the strengths
• face my weaknesses and seek to overcome them
• talk through my thoughts or discuss with someone
• take in everything - don't be dismissive
• when I become angry, I lose - work through the anger before expressing it otherwise I fall into the anger trap
• keep eye on big picture - if I find myself focusing on the details, take a step back and refocus
• be accountable for my actions
• be humble
• assume the best instead of the worse
• and last and probably the hardest of all....Relax

So, now that I've opened myself up and feel exposed to the world, I'm somewhat hopeful that I'm moving in the right direction. It's definitely not the easiest thing copping to your weaknesses, but I can't live with discord in my life and I need to find the balance. So here is to 2011, a new beginning to a better year!

"Life at any time can become difficult: life at any time can become easy. It all depends upon how one adjusts oneself to life."-Morarji Desai
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."- Lao Tzu
"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man." ~Benjamin Franklin

Is it already over.....

Ah, the joys of the Christmas season are fading behind as the stores fill with people returning, exchanging items. or taking advantage of the "after-Christmas" sales. We are picking up the glorious mess that is the aftermath of Christmas. And yes, Santa was good to the kids - my sweet pea received an art table that she can sit and draw, paint, or color. My little man received an electronic drum set with headphones, so he can bang away in the comfort of his room.
The kids were spoiled by all their grandparents and the kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves. My little man, would say, "awesome, wow, this is great" as he would open his gifts. My sweet pea is quieter with her words, but would have a smile across her face.
We ventured to my MIL house on Christmas Eve and opened gifts there and the kids fell asleep on the way home. On Christmas morning, both the hubs and I waited for the kids to come running in our room to wake us, but that didn't happen. My husband did get up around 7:00 to check on the living room and to his surprise he found our sweet pea sitting underneath the Christmas tree admiring the magic of what Santa left behind. Surprisingly, she didn't touch a toy or present....no sure if I would have had that self-control at that age.
I asked her why she didn't get us up, and she said she was just enjoying it all. We have no idea how long she had been sitting there by herself. I told her that on Christmas day, she can get us up any time she wants. We had to wake up my little man, he definitely enjoys his sleep, but he was excited to be as he stepped out in the living room.
Once we opened up presents, we had our Nerf war - it was fun and filled with laughter, except for the moment when I got hit in check with one of the foam darts, it is good those are made with foam.
‎And since we had decided on staying home for Christmas dinner, we ended up having brunch, so we made omelets, crepes, fruit, cinnamon rolls and bacon of course. The kids enjoyed the brunch and then my FIL stopped over for a visit. The kids were excited to see Grandpa and Grandma, especially since they didn't know they were coming. We played games and then later that evening we stopped over at my parent's house to exchange gifts and have dessert.

It was a long day and the kids were quickly fell asleep once we got home. It is almost sad that people go to so much work during the month of December and in a flash of a day it is over. Well, I hope everyone here had a wonderful Christmas like we did! May your New Year be blessed!


"One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. " ~Andy Rooney

Pay it Forward

So, the hubby and I did some last minute shopping while my dad watched the kiddies. We were on our way home, when we stopped for a quick bite at Arby's. We pull to the drive-thru window and the worker tells us that the lady in front paid for our sandwich and to wish us a Merry Christmas!
There was no one behind us to pay it forward and there was no one in line, so we will definitely be paying it forward tomorrow while we are out.
As we were heading home, I started to cry and my husband asked me what was wrong. I simply couldn't believe it, I know it was only a burger, but I've never been the recipient of random acts of kindness from a stranger.
Granted, I've done it several times, but never have I expected it to happen to me, so I was completely caught off guard and was simply touched by her kindness to a stranger...or shall I say, "Christmas spirit."
We can't wait to go out tomorrow, just so I can find the opportunity to do the same. She really made my night!
So thank you kind stranger...it is much appreciated!


"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." ~Aesop

Are You There Christmas Spirit...

Yes, Christmas is only a few days away and as I was finishing up some of the “homemade” gifts, my hubby asked who those all were for. I told him and to him I know it is not his thing, but I enjoy it and we ended up having a conversation about things and I got a bit bummed about it. Now I have debated on whether or not to give these out to everyone I planned or to those who I know would appreciate it or not at all.
So, last night as I was reading bedtime books to the kids and we were talking about our nativity set, who was who. The kids were asking questions and so we read a book about the birth of Jesus. Then we read the Grinch who Stole Christmas and as the kids drifted off to sleep, I thought where is my Christmas Spirit, do I have Christmas spirit and what exactly is it?

Is it the person who is most festive? The one who outshines everyone with their gifts, their tree, the cards they send out, ornaments, and such? Is it the holiday songs, the giving and receiving as you break your bank account, spending it with family and friends, baking or all of it combined? Do you go about your day a little happier or hopeful? Is it putting differences aside for a day of celebration? Or is the warm fuzzy feeling you get inside, like when you look at someone you love?
If you take away the ribbons, the packages, the trees, and all the other glittery things, what is left? Is Christmas Spirit something that stays year round or only during the holidays? Can it be lost, forgotten, stolen?
I asked my son in the morning…what do you think Christmas Spirit is? He jumps up and down and loudly says,” it is Santa coming and a baby being born and giving stuff”…that is it and not stealing presents like the Grinch. His response made me laugh. I asked my little girl and she says, “it’s being with people you love,” her response made me smile.

I know that it can mean different things to people and perhaps there is no right or wrong answer. As with any holiday, Christmas has become so commercialized that where are the basics? I don’t feel like I’m any more cheery or festive during the holiday, besides saying Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to those around me. I do see some who are more festive and cheerful during this time of year, so I thought, do I just not have it or do I just not get it?

To me, Christmas spirit isn’t anything different than what should take place during the year…it’s being thankful for your blessings – what surrounds you, but again, I really don't know, I do like Linus' (from the Peanuts) explanation - perhaps that is it.

"Christmas is forever, not for just one day,for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf. The good you do for others is good you do yourself..."~Norman Wesley Brooks

Christmas Traditions around the World

While we were on vacation, we went to Epcot...the hubs had never really spent time there and neither had I, so we thought we would go and while we were their they were celebrating Christmas Traditions around the world.

We listened to Pere Noel (from France) talk about how the creche is the main focus around Christmas time with little santons that depicted not only the navitiy scene, but also local public figures, which I thought was neat.

He also held up a shoe with a name tag attached, which the kids looked puzzled about..."what does a shoe have to do with Christmas?" Pere Noel explained how the children in France leave shoes by the fireplace to be filled with gifts from Pere Noel.

It was fun listening to him and learning something new....I think it would be neat to experience Christmas somewhere different, perhaps someday.

I remember spending Christmas back in New Zealand with my grandparents and Father Christmas filled our pillowcases with treats and we continued that tradition in our family up till I was about 8 and then I believe someone sent us stockings with our names on them, so out went the pillowcases, which I completely forgot about till now. My kids have stockings, but I remember the excitement I felt as I carried my "huge" pillow case around the house filled with goodies (mostly fruit and socks). And yes, Santa was called Father Christmas and even now occasionally Father Christmas will slip out of my mouth instead of Santa, I will get a look from my little ones, but the kids have gotten used to it, most often he has become Santa. However, I do feel there is a bit of nostalgia attached to Father Christmas, but that could only be because it reminds of me of childhood.

Tomorrow is Winter Solstice and if you were not aware a rare event not seen in 372 years will occur early Tuesday morning. A total lunar eclipse coinciding with the winter solstice, pretty neat.

Our tradition is to make something for the animals (birds, squirrels, etc...) outside...last year we did the peanut butter/birdseed pinecones and I think this year we will do a garland with cranberries. As with any holiday, there are many traditions with Winter Solstice and our purpose in recognizing this holiday is to expand upon the different holiday traditions as well as family bonding. If you catch the luner eclipse...enjoy it, they are also saying there will be little meteor showers! I'm not sure if we will get to glimpse it or not...I hope so.

"Shall we liken Christmas to the web in a loom? There are many weavers, who work inot the pattern the experience of their lives. When one generation goes, another comes to take up the weft where it has been dropped. The pattern changes as the mind changes, yet never begins quite anew. At first, we are not sure that we discern the pattern, but at last we see that, unknown to the weavers themselves, something has taken shape before our eyes, and that they have made something very beautiful, something which compels our understanding." - Earl W. Count

Salt Scrubs and Seashells

Yes, I'm making Salt Scrubs as gifts this year....in the spring I made the Lavender Sugar Scrubs, so I thought I would try a salt scrub this time. The kids are helping me pour the salt and add the other ingredients. They are also taking their seashells that they collected and making christmas ornaments out of them. Each year for Christmas they make some craft to give out and they decided to make seashell ornaments, so that will be our project this weekend.

We are making two different kinds of salt scrubs...a Chamomile Salt scrub and a Rosemary Salt Scrub.
My ingredients are olive oil, sea salt (or epsom salt), and rosemary or chamomile, which I blended the chamomile with a touch of vanilla and it smells great. I can't wait to try them out!!!

Below is the blended chamomile

and the rosemary

And here is the finished Salt Scrub using the Chamomile

And here is the Rosemary salt scrub

"I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month." ~Harlan Miller

Back Home

We went on a mini vacation and came back today...it was a fun filled trip. However, why is it that it takes so much planning and then in an instant it is over...poof..done.

We booked this trip back in August and so looking forward to it for some time, we used the hotel points the hubs had built up, which was great because we only had to pay for two nights during the entire time. This trip was part of the kids christmas present and they seemed to enjoy it. The weather was a bit chilly for Florida, but it wasn't snowing!

We went to Honeymoon Island and Tarpon Springs, which was great...we wanted to go to Caledesi Island, but the day we went it was pretty foggy and they shut down the ferry, so we couldn't get across.

The kids had fun playing at the beach and the kids asked all sorts of question when we looked for shells. We saw dolphins every morning from our room and the kids couldn't believe it. My sweetpea took her writer's workshop papers and wrote about what she saw and did for the day. My little man took his own spin on the writer's workshop papers and wrote letters. We visited some family while we were there, which is always nice and I even got to see an old friend from high school who is living down there now.

We collected several shells that we are going to make christmas ornaments from, the kids are also taking what they collected to their classrooms, so they can share their experience.

It was nice to have a whole week just spending it with the hubby and kids.

It's always nice to return home, but we went to the store to get some groceries everything seemed so mundane and blah. I don't know if it is because we returned home to snow or what the deal is, but we wanted to go back to the semi-warm weather, but alas it is back to reality for now.

"A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia." ~Author Unknown