Sometimes Our Decisions Surprise Us....

Occasionally I talk about relocating, especially during the winter and when I think about the places that I lived close to the ocean, they seem to be some of my happiest memories, so of course I dream about a view of the ocean with the sand beneath my toes. However, I really like where we are - I like our community, I love the public Montessori school that my children attend, and I like what we have.

So I was surprised to get contacted by a recruiter for a job and long story short even more surprised when an offer was thrown on the table - some of the responsibilities were new...less instructional design, more project coordinating and face-to-face delivery. The salary/benefits package was outstanding, and it would only require a relocation. The relocation was not ideal, smaller town and as I thought about all the possibilities of what we could finally accomplish with a bigger salary, the thought of relocation kept nagging at me.
A date was set for dinner with the director and a tour of the company and as I looked at real estate and thought I'm going to have to leave my husband and children here until school lets out, I kept having negative thoughts about the relocation. So, I looked more about the town with the hopes that something would pull at my heart strings, making this feeling go away. And then I realized that I would have to pull my children from their Montessori school and I did a 100 mile search for private and public Montessori schools and there were none, my heart sank. So then I thought, is it really that important, this is a job opportunity that I'd be foolish to pass up, but I also felt like it was happening so quickly, I barely had time to adjust to what was taking place.

Discussions with my husband and children were supportive of whatever I decided, but I still struggled and finally I had to inform the company, that I couldn't commit, everything that we were leaving behind seemed like more of a loss than gaining a huge salary increase.

And I was surprised by my decision, I tend to open the door to opportunities, but I feel like this wasn't the right opportunity for me and therefore my heart wasn't in it, which would have been unfair to the company from the beginning. As parents, we are always making sacrifices for our children whether they realize it or not and really it is something they don't need to know, because they are happy and life for them will continue to move forward. I will never know if I made the right decision, but that is the risk I took, however I will say that I am happy with my decision. We all want more money, but you have to ask yourself what will it cost you?

"Quick decisions are unsafe decisions." - Sophocles

Reasons Why......

I hear it is Valentine's Day and even though I'm not horribly into this holiday, I did make my husband a "Reasons Why I love you" book.....


1. You make me smile when clouds are grey (okay maybe everyday)
2. You challenge me...in so many ways
3. You make life so much fun
4. You are a wonderful father
5. You give the best kisses...
6. You dream BIG
7. You are kind
8. You are our hero
9. You have amazing confidence
10. You chose me
11. The fact that you are not afraid to cry...
12. The lives we have made....
13. Your drive and boldness
14. The way you liven up a room
15. Your ability to tackle anything
16. Your handiness
17. Your incredible blue eyes
18. Your strong hands
19. Your vast knowledge
20. The fact that you are good at just about everything (even if it makes me jealous)
21. The way you make me feel
22. Your incredible sexiness (don't act like you don't know)
23. The amazing gifts you have given me (like our children)
24. Your sense of humor (even if sometimes it is crude)
25. That you took a chance on me
26. Your sense of adventure
27. The way you kiss and touch me
28. How much excitement you bring to life
29. Your incredible big heart...
30.You are not afraid to be a risk-taker
31. How you will hide and try (okay do) scare me
32. How we buy the same anniversary card for each other (without even trying to)
33. That I know you will be one of the most successful men I know
34. How you always comfort me when I need it the most
35. Your incredible visions for our future that will come true
36. The way you inspire me
37. The role model you are for our children
38. How you know not to take life too seriously (yes, I'm trying)
39, How you know what to say and how to say it (again, not my forte)
40. The fact that you are my first and only true love
41. Your playfulness
42. The amazing things that happen to us
43. How much you know about me....
44. You accept my emotional manner when pushed
45. Your willingness to make us so happy
46. The things you have said and written me
47. That I know we will make a great "old" couple
48. The way you opened your heart and life to me...
49. The fact that I learn new things about you
50. That we have an amazing good life
51. How you call me your lady and you are my man
52. How you have given up on things you've wanted for the benefit of our family
53. You endure my quirkiness
54. How really wonderful you really, really are
55. You tackled my wall and took it down one piece at a time
56. You dance with me (as chili peppers fly from the sky)
57. How cute and adorable you can be
58. How with just one look you melt my heart
59. Your people skills and charming nature
60. Your thoughtfulness
61. Your ability to lead
62. That you drink tea with me each night (when you are not away)
63. You support my choices
64. I know we are safe with you
65. How much you've taught me
66. That I know you would do anything for us
67. How you changed my life
68. That you tell me that I am a great mother
69. How forgiving you are....(more so than myself)
70. That you are my forever soul mate
71. With you and me...we can tackle anything
72. That there will be many more reasons to love you....

Oh Monday, how I've missed you so.....

Who looks forward to Mondays? Me, I do, I do! At least this week, man what crazy, drama-filled weekend, which all began on Friday night after the kids school dance. (Where at least we had a fun-filled evening prior to all the messiness).

Anyway, our school principal left selecting some strange departure words and hence followed an onslaught of questions (myself include) from parents wondering what in the world was going on. Granted, the past several parent-group meetings have had some bumps and you definitely could feel some tension, but to leave unexpectedly, I thought was strange.

We meet with a dozen or so parents yesterday and all of my concerns were addressed and my feelings toward the school did not change, we have an outstanding school, with wonderful teachers and children whom happen to have passionate parents (and there is nothing wrong with that).
Coming out of the meeting, our goal is how do we heal our teachers, it was a fantastic meeting and a reminder that even through differences shared among parents, we can still see through it and move on in a positive direction.
However, for some reason, that doesn't seem to apply to family...why is that?
Saturday was a busy day filled with a baby shower, which was fantastic and then my sweet pea's group violin recital, which I didn't send a bunch of invites out simply because it was her group performance and she has those often. Then the husband and I left early as he had a EPI dinner (which was wonderful by the way) at a fancy-smanshe restaurant on the 34th floor (amazing views) with all the full dinnerware and serving utensils....I leaned over to the husband and said, "outside in," but it seemed he knew what to use. When we left, the manager gave all the women roses (um, I think that should be a requirement for all restaurants, I bet there would be fewer complaints).
So, as I'm taking in the wonderful evening that we just had, my husband informs me that we got a lovely (not) email, but he took care of it and that I should ignore it....(yeah, like that is going to happen).
I opened it up on my phone, started to the read the first line, laughed and then stopped, hit reply and typed, "I'm not going to let you drag this into something, I asked so and so...blah, blah and she said no. I said we exchanged some emails, but haven't gotten anywhere. I told you in my last email regarding the party, that our son had karate that night and we MAY be there. I'm done playing these stupid games with you, move on, I have."

And that is where I left it, as I was thinking about the situation, the more upset I became and therefore I called so and so informing them of the situation and that I am through with this bull honky. I talked to a counselor a couple years ago because of the crap this individual was pulling and so I'm not going to allow myself to be dragged into her whirlwind of drama she wants to create with me over something she thinks I said and we all know how second-hand information works. This is just another example in the many that I have endured over the years and it is exhausting, sorry folks, not going to fall into this once again, it is almost like "bullying" behavior.

I thought I made it clear last round, what I would do and apparently it wasn't clear enough. I will not allow myself or my family go down this destructive path, try as you might to pull me down, not happening. My husband has had enough and I am beyond caring anymore. I've gone from trying to understand, trying to change how I responded and stay out, to now not giving a flying leap.
The past is the past and I'm moving forward without all this in my life. It was nice at times and I have some good memories that I will select to remember, but out of my life you go.
Time after time I've attempted to mend things and it is a no-go, I'm not chasing. It is funny how quickly people forget the role they have played in this dysfunction and try to put it on me, but you know what, fine, so be it, I'm done concerning myself with it anymore. C'est la vie

“You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from passing over your head, but you can prevent them from making nests in your hair.” - Confucius

Getting all P and Z up in here.....

I am now proudly serving on the Planning and Zoning committee in our community and had my first meeting last week. It was definitely not what I had imagined and I am pretty sure I'm the youngest on the committee, but then if you look at the average age in this community, it is mostly an older community, but I think the city is wanting to attract younger families.

I was anxious about my first meeting since I have no background in this area, but once I met everyone, I felt better about it. The committee is completely made up of citizens with various backgrounds and I think it will be interesting serving on it...a new adventure. So, I've read all the Planning and Zoning codes (not an expert yet) and I've got my game face on and ready to get all P'ed and Z'ed up...hopefully while making a more sustainable community.

"I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones."
John Cage

Pinterest Junkie.....

Where did you get that lovely idea....Pinterest of course! Hi, I'm a Pinterest Junkie, don't judge me. Pinterest where have you been all my life, with the plethora of ideas and other crap that I seem to pin on my boards. Seriously, if you have checked it out, it is great, (shout out to MW for hooking me up).
Be warned, it doesn't look like all that powerful until you've been sucked into the mass of "dessert, motivational-quote, food and drinks, DIY crafter, with the splash of fitness" filled pictures hook you and you're like, "Holy Sh!t, I've just spend 2 hours looking at endless pages of things I wish I did or someday hope to do." (Thank goodness my children are in bed asleep and didn't need actual attention)
So, there you have it....I'm a Pinterest Junkie.....who's with me!!!!!!

Why Does It Matter........

Okay, I try to steer clear of "touchy" subjects, but I've seen this video a few times via Facebook and I got all teary-eyed watching it.



Why should I care? I honestly don't understand why after centuries of knowledge humans have acquired we are still treating people this way, letting them believe they are less than and it is appalling.
When will we learn, when will we truly be able to accept someone simply for who they are? And like most nights, I watched it, shared it, and went to bed.
Yet, as I was laying there, I couldn't shake the video and was reminded of my family members who are gay, and their struggles with "coming out." And then I thought of how my grandfather was treated as a child because of his skin and being told not to speak Te Reo Maori and how those influences transpired to his own children and their feelings, how they were treated.

One of my "aha" moments comes from when I was a child, visiting my great nanny and earlier we went shopping for dolls and I picked the brown doll because it reminded me of my great nanny and I thought the doll was beautiful, when I showed the doll to her and said it reminded me of her. She hugged me and said, "you don't want this doll with dark skin, your skin is lovely and don't let the sun darken you...always wear a sunhat." I didn't understand what she meant, but I realized that there was something different between the white doll and the brown doll, it was only until later that I realized she herself was brought up to be ashamed of her skin.

Discrimination is discrimination no matter how politicians, society, government, or religious groups try to sugar coat it....and to say it is not is baffling. I simply don't get it, I don't understand how anyone can see that it is not or how they justify it. And what is even more frustrating is that these people are most likely passing their views on to their children. I have friends of all nationalities, backgrounds, and religious affiliations, I don't pass judgement on their views, but I don't understand how some can use the argument that God didn't intend for gay people, only straight people (I mean really, you know this because you were there at creation, just like dinosaurs didn't exist either) and it's because the Bible told me so, well the Bible was transcribe by man to control the masses, and history shows that there are many versions, so who is to say what was really intended....
I get angry when I see signs like "God hates Fags" that mostly come from the Westboro Church people....I mean I'm not the most religious person, but I definitely believe in a higher spirit and I was told to "do unto others as you would have done to you." So, I find all of this hate mongering unbelievable, I mean seriously, do you want to be treated that way....I'm guessing not, so get a clue and take a lesson on karma.

And the biggest of all reasons I support gay rights, is simply for my children - I am no fortune teller, so I can't exactly predict my children's future partner, but I want them to see and hear from me that it is not okay to discriminate or treat people unfairly. And they will only learn this by seeing and watching their surroundings.
No person should be made to feel inferior, it makes my heart break when I hear on the news of some young teenager who took his/her life because they were "gay," I instantly think...what if that were my child and I think, did that child have the support of his/her parents, would it have made a difference? So, yes I'm trying to raise my little ones with love and respect, so years from now if God intends that either of my children were to "come out" they know it wouldn't affect how I love them or treat them. I think of the many people who struggle with the decision to "come out" or not and I honestly can't imagine how he/she must feel, especially when the world basically says, "It's not okay."

It is okay and I say that with as much conviction as those who say, "no, it's wrong," they are the ones who don't see life's bigger picture. It is not about how much you love God, pass judgements on others, and condemn everyone else who doesn't believe or follow your rules, because the beauty of God is that he gave us free will - so at the end of the day, it is our decisions that we have to justify, not using "God" as a tool to base their decisions. We are all human that deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and the dignity that we all deserve. Ask yourself, "Are my hands clean" the next time you judge someone.

"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one." - John Lennon

Yummy Soups....

I recently made two different soups, both of which were super easy to make and most importantly delicious! I'll share the recipes here, I didn't take any photos, but these were good and have now made it into my collection of recipes.

Italian Gnocchi Soup

1 lb Italian Sausage (I used ground graziano italian sausage)
2 cup water
1 16 oz gnocchi
1 14 oz beef broth
1 can of cannellini beans
1 14 oz italian style stewed tomatoes
1/2 cup parmesan cheese

In a large pot, brown italian sausage (I like to add some white wine when cooking italian sausage and I also used a variety of spices, such as oregano, basil, garlic, rosemary). Once sausage is done, add 2 cup water, broth, gnocchi, tomatoes, cannellini, and bring to a boil.
Reduce the heat till gnocchi floats - pour into bowls and sprinkle cheese on top. Serve immediately. I typically serve this with focaccia bread, you'll be surprised at how great this soup is.

African Chicken Peanut Stew

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 large skinless, boneless chicken breast halves*
*(I cooked a whole chicken the night before and used the shredded chicken from the chicken for the soup, which I also used the chicken stock from boiling the chicken instead of browning it in a skillet)

1 onion, chopped
2 red bell peppers, sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into bite-size pieces
3 cups sliced carrots
4 cups chicken broth, or more as needed
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 cup brown rice
1 cup crunchy peanut butter

Either brown the chicken in a skillet or you can do what I did, which was cook a whole chicken the night before and used the shredded chicken from the chicken for the soup, transfer the chicken into the slow cooker. Add the onions, peppers, and garlic.
Stir the crushed tomatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, chicken broth (I saved the chicken stock from the night before), curry powder, cumin, chili powder, cayenne pepper, red pepper flakes, cinnamon, and black pepper into the slow cooker.

Set the cooker to High, and cook for 5 to 6 hours, or cook on Low for 10 hours. Stir in additional chicken broth throughout the cooking time if needed.
Mix in the brown rice 3 hours before serving, and mix in the peanut butter at least 1 hour before serving. Shred chicken meat (if you haven't shredded it) and serve hot. I also like to make some additional rice that I don't put in the crockpot to serve with.
The aroma of this dish is wonderful and all the medley of spices and peanut putter go together well.

"Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity." ~Voltaire