Sometimes life can be so overwhelming that everything seems hidden - even if it is right before your eyes. This summer has been a wonderful, full of decisions journey. We listed our home for sale by owner, have shown it a few times, but no offers, which is okay with me. We really don't know where we are going, so I feel when the time is right, the opportunity will present itself.
I passed on a job opportunity with a great company - I was honest with them in my decision making and the timing was just not right. I enjoy what I do and I enjoy the people I work with - sometimes change may present itself, but I say only go into it if your heart is in it. The kids start school in a matter of weeks and where or what we did is beyond me - we are planning a trip the week before the kids go back, but it seems like summer went and came in the blink of an eye.
I recently watched a film on Netflix, titled Life in a Day, which was a series of video clips selected from 80,000 clips submitted to Youtube, showing respective occurrences from around the world on a single day, July 24, 2010. The strange thing was I watched it on July 24th - without a thought until I realized halfway through the date. It was fun to watch and made me feel a bit sad for the turmoil of what is taking place in Gaza with Israel and Palestine - there is no winner in situations like that. I clearly remember being in 5th and 6th grade when I became aware there was turmoil in the Middle East and the conflict of there and thinking how great it would be to have peace one day and that it could be accomplished, "if only they knew...," but unfortunately politicians run the world and peace is not profitable. The amount of money the US government is sending in "aid," is astounding. And I don't have a side - I stand with Israel, but not its actions and I stand with the Palestine. I often find myself what type of world we are leaving for our children, what lessons will they learn? As a child, I clearly remember the day when I realize my great nanny was ashamed of her skin color and how sad that made me feel because in my eyes she was a beautiful woman and it stuck with me and I remember growing up thinking that "I" could change the world....we participated in events like "farm aid" and "hands across America" and I think it was events like those, that lead me to believe that one day things would be different...one day people would realize the value of a person's life - would see beyond...wouldn't life be grand....imagine.
And now I have children of my own, and I am starting to doubt humanity - what are we leaving them? Food that is polluted with chemicals and toxins, a water supply that we treat as our personal dumping grounds, the killing of animals without thought of the consequences and treating life as if it is nothing. I feel as if I am becoming jaded....which is ironic because personally life is wonderful, but I struggle with what is the impact that I am leaving my children. My hubby organizes a local stream clean up on an annual basis and each year the number of people who participates grows and I think it is great, but is it making an impact? We often get tied up in our own world that we overlook what life might be like for someone else and in today's world with the resources we have, we should be in a better place and we are not. We are taking everything for granted, yet what do we do? For myself, I try to be a good role model for my children, but I don't know if that is enough? It's weird because we are connected digitally, but often I feel ever more hidden.
“You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”- John Lennon
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Walked in as a stranger, left with much more......
As soon as I heard about the Public Montessori UnConference, I knew I wanted to attend, here was an opportunity to meet-up with educators, researchers, parents, supporters of public Montessori with the idea to share the challenges and successes, including discussion on ways to expand Montessori education for all children.
It was hosted by the City Garden Montessori School in St. Louis, whose mission is to provide high-quality education to a diverse student population following the philosophy of Maria Montessori, and to cultivate young people who value and respect themselves, others, the environment, and the world community.
What I immediately loved was the idea of this open space conference where "whoever shows up is the meant to be there and whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened."
On the first evening, we were asked to write down the topics we wanted to talk about and then I sat in wonderment as we went around with introductions and instantly ideas and thoughts were flowing; stories of challenges and success were shared, and all were ready to talk about what can be done with public Montessori, how can we expand this type of education for all children. Discussion focused on certification requirements (both state and Montessori), accountability, cost of starting up, parent education, state laws, the language that is used within traditional public school vs Montessori, and anti-biased anti-racist - learning to exist together.
Immediately you could sense that it was a group of individuals full of passion - it was indeed the right group. And part of me, since I'm just a parent, felt a bit intimidated to be with these individuals who are already changing the face of public Montessori in their own ways. It was overwhelming and exciting.
The next day, I walked in feeling energized and ready to learn as much as I could. We broke up into different sessions - I went to the discussions about breaking the myth that Montessori is only for the elite, advocacy - how do you spread the word, social justice, fundraising, and policy changes. I took away a lot - I loved learning what Oglesby was doing in Chicago's South Side communities. There was a ton of discussion taking place and it was inspiring to be in a room of these individuals who are all committed to public Montessori as a means in helping every child reach their full potential.
The biggest thing that I walked away with, is that I could be doing more to, should be doing more and after listening and talking with these individuals it only validated that and inspires me to make change, to perhaps have conversations that make us uncomfortable so we can open our eyes - that Montessori is for all and should be part of the education reform.
At dinner, the discussions continued and although, I walked in as a stranger, I left feeling as if I've made new friends parting ways with hugs and realizing that these are the people; the ones who are changing the world.
One of the directors for the "Building the Pink Tower" attended and I had seen the trailer prior to this event and I'm so excited for this film to release - I hope that it will be viewed by parents and it will create the buzz that is needed to get this movement going. Best of Luck to those involved in this project! Here is the link
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead
"No love or friendship can ever cross our path without affecting us in some way forever." - Muriac
It was hosted by the City Garden Montessori School in St. Louis, whose mission is to provide high-quality education to a diverse student population following the philosophy of Maria Montessori, and to cultivate young people who value and respect themselves, others, the environment, and the world community.
What I immediately loved was the idea of this open space conference where "whoever shows up is the meant to be there and whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened."
On the first evening, we were asked to write down the topics we wanted to talk about and then I sat in wonderment as we went around with introductions and instantly ideas and thoughts were flowing; stories of challenges and success were shared, and all were ready to talk about what can be done with public Montessori, how can we expand this type of education for all children. Discussion focused on certification requirements (both state and Montessori), accountability, cost of starting up, parent education, state laws, the language that is used within traditional public school vs Montessori, and anti-biased anti-racist - learning to exist together.
Immediately you could sense that it was a group of individuals full of passion - it was indeed the right group. And part of me, since I'm just a parent, felt a bit intimidated to be with these individuals who are already changing the face of public Montessori in their own ways. It was overwhelming and exciting.
The next day, I walked in feeling energized and ready to learn as much as I could. We broke up into different sessions - I went to the discussions about breaking the myth that Montessori is only for the elite, advocacy - how do you spread the word, social justice, fundraising, and policy changes. I took away a lot - I loved learning what Oglesby was doing in Chicago's South Side communities. There was a ton of discussion taking place and it was inspiring to be in a room of these individuals who are all committed to public Montessori as a means in helping every child reach their full potential.
The biggest thing that I walked away with, is that I could be doing more to, should be doing more and after listening and talking with these individuals it only validated that and inspires me to make change, to perhaps have conversations that make us uncomfortable so we can open our eyes - that Montessori is for all and should be part of the education reform.
At dinner, the discussions continued and although, I walked in as a stranger, I left feeling as if I've made new friends parting ways with hugs and realizing that these are the people; the ones who are changing the world.
One of the directors for the "Building the Pink Tower" attended and I had seen the trailer prior to this event and I'm so excited for this film to release - I hope that it will be viewed by parents and it will create the buzz that is needed to get this movement going. Best of Luck to those involved in this project! Here is the link
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead
"No love or friendship can ever cross our path without affecting us in some way forever." - Muriac
Monday, May 12, 2014
A lot Going on....
The last few weeks have been busy - I recently became the President of the kids parent group at school, so I'm trying to learn the ropes of that. We recently were one of several homes that hosted the first Urban Tour de Cluck - it is a bike ride throughout the metro touring urban chicken coops. It was fun, we had about 30 or so people go through and visit our coop and chickens.
And we also decided to put our house on the market - the hubs wants an acreage, so we decided to list it as For Sale By Owner right now, because we are not in a hurry - we need to find land to build our house on. Once we do that, then we will most likely get a realtor to actually list it, but there are three other house for sale on our street, so we figured we might as well take advantage of people driving by with sticking a sign in our yard.
It is bittersweet - I look forward to building a house the way we want and having a larger space, but I really love the home and community we live in - change is hard, but I look at it as if things are meant to be, life will sort itself out.I want to stay within 20 minutes and no more than 30 minutes of the metro - so hopefully we will find land that suits what we want - the hub knows someone who offered to sell us 10 acres of his large farm, but it is further than I want to be, but like I said, whatever will be, will be.
Yesterday was Mother's Day and I celebrated simply by being with my children - I got breakfast in bed, a beautiful ring, letters, and drawings. We did make a run to the ER around 7:00 pm because my little man has been sick the last few days and was having symptoms similar to appendicitis - I knew it was either a stomach bug or appendicitis, he kept saying that he was in horrible pain on the lower right side and I debated about waiting to take him to the doctors in the morning, but the thought of it bursting and causing more damage if we waited scared me, so in the end we went to the ER - they gave him some tests and said he was a bit dehydrated, so gave him an IV for fluids and felt that it was more a virus than appendicitis and decided not to do a CT scan, but she said if his condition worsened to bring him back immediately. He woke up this morning and seems a bit better, so hopefully he is on the mend.
If you are a mother, I hope you celebrated your day in a wonderful and special way!
And we also decided to put our house on the market - the hubs wants an acreage, so we decided to list it as For Sale By Owner right now, because we are not in a hurry - we need to find land to build our house on. Once we do that, then we will most likely get a realtor to actually list it, but there are three other house for sale on our street, so we figured we might as well take advantage of people driving by with sticking a sign in our yard.
It is bittersweet - I look forward to building a house the way we want and having a larger space, but I really love the home and community we live in - change is hard, but I look at it as if things are meant to be, life will sort itself out.I want to stay within 20 minutes and no more than 30 minutes of the metro - so hopefully we will find land that suits what we want - the hub knows someone who offered to sell us 10 acres of his large farm, but it is further than I want to be, but like I said, whatever will be, will be.
Yesterday was Mother's Day and I celebrated simply by being with my children - I got breakfast in bed, a beautiful ring, letters, and drawings. We did make a run to the ER around 7:00 pm because my little man has been sick the last few days and was having symptoms similar to appendicitis - I knew it was either a stomach bug or appendicitis, he kept saying that he was in horrible pain on the lower right side and I debated about waiting to take him to the doctors in the morning, but the thought of it bursting and causing more damage if we waited scared me, so in the end we went to the ER - they gave him some tests and said he was a bit dehydrated, so gave him an IV for fluids and felt that it was more a virus than appendicitis and decided not to do a CT scan, but she said if his condition worsened to bring him back immediately. He woke up this morning and seems a bit better, so hopefully he is on the mend.
If you are a mother, I hope you celebrated your day in a wonderful and special way!
Friday, April 11, 2014
Days 10 and 11 and you guessed it Poems 10 and 11
I got a bit behind so I'm posting yesterday's poem and today's poem
Yesterday as I was waiting to pick up the kids I happened to watch some scattered leaves
Untitled
By DBF
© 2014
the wind blows
the leaves dance
among the scattered branches
one, two, three fall
ever so gracefully
suspended in time
just for a brief moment
till it lands
upon the hard cracked surface
Dreams
By DBF
© 2014
I wait
for what
I'm not sure
yet I feel it
something
coming in the stillness
wanting more
greatness
aspirations
but I can't quite
grasp it
testing me
I wait
as each day passes
I grow
in hopes that
I will seek
whatever it is
that calls me
Yesterday as I was waiting to pick up the kids I happened to watch some scattered leaves
Untitled
By DBF
© 2014
the wind blows
the leaves dance
among the scattered branches
one, two, three fall
ever so gracefully
suspended in time
just for a brief moment
till it lands
upon the hard cracked surface
Dreams
By DBF
© 2014
I wait
for what
I'm not sure
yet I feel it
something
coming in the stillness
wanting more
greatness
aspirations
but I can't quite
grasp it
testing me
I wait
as each day passes
I grow
in hopes that
I will seek
whatever it is
that calls me
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
It's day 9...guess what that means....Poem 9
This poem is one I wrote after my nana passed away, but I took some time to revise it
Memories
By DBF
© 2014
There is a light
that never leaves.
It's where you will
find your dreams.
The memories I try
to keep,
remembering
the details of your face
and your warm loving embrace.
There is a light
that never leaves.
It's where you will
find me holding on
to you.
Memories
By DBF
© 2014
There is a light
that never leaves.
It's where you will
find your dreams.
The memories I try
to keep,
remembering
the details of your face
and your warm loving embrace.
There is a light
that never leaves.
It's where you will
find me holding on
to you.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Poem 8 to share for Day 8
Here is an older poem that I wrote many moons back
Lesson
By DBF
© 2014
My weakness
was caring about you,
believing you.
Holding on to
broken promises
and empty words.
My weakness was
never telling you no,
but I soon learned.
My strength grew,
I overcame my fear.
Now all that is left
are painful memories
that I can't seem to forget.
Yet, my strength grew
and now I know that
I can let go
and forgive.
Lesson
By DBF
© 2014
My weakness
was caring about you,
believing you.
Holding on to
broken promises
and empty words.
My weakness was
never telling you no,
but I soon learned.
My strength grew,
I overcame my fear.
Now all that is left
are painful memories
that I can't seem to forget.
Yet, my strength grew
and now I know that
I can let go
and forgive.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Two Poems to share for Day 6 and Day 7 of the NaPoWriMo
I took yesterday off of electronics so I didn't get to post my Day 6 poem, so I am going to include it with today's poem
Sweet Child
By DBF
© 2014
I gaze into
those great big eyes
so pure, so innocent
not yet touched
by the woes of the world
no damage to the soul
simply filled with a
curiosity of wonder
a laughter so light, so fun
I see all this
and filled with an
endless love
greater than
my existence
Amongst the field
By DBF
© 2014
The day
breaks
into pieces
it falls
nothing left,
but the orange hue
stretching across
the empty land
glimpse into
a time forgotten
unknown
it beakons
to tell its secrets
share its tale
and I walk
into the field
fingers running across
the prairie grass
I sit
quietly
listening to the tale
Sweet Child
By DBF
© 2014
I gaze into
those great big eyes
so pure, so innocent
not yet touched
by the woes of the world
no damage to the soul
simply filled with a
curiosity of wonder
a laughter so light, so fun
I see all this
and filled with an
endless love
greater than
my existence
Amongst the field
By DBF
© 2014
The day
breaks
into pieces
it falls
nothing left,
but the orange hue
stretching across
the empty land
glimpse into
a time forgotten
unknown
it beakons
to tell its secrets
share its tale
and I walk
into the field
fingers running across
the prairie grass
I sit
quietly
listening to the tale
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)