Take a Stand

Today on Oprah they talked about sexual predators and what some of them are posting on the internet regarding children, infants as young as a few days old, absolutely disgusting.
I was brought to tears because I look at my two young toddlers and couldn't imagine anyone doing something so horrible as what some of these predators are doing, but also because I was sexually molested at five by a neighbor and it brought back horrible memories.
On her website, she listed a link and generic letter to help pass the Protect Our Children Bill, so I'm copying that here, if you read my blog, please contact your senator and help pass this bill.

We need to take a stand and protect all of our children.....the information is below:

Hundreds of thousands of children are victims of sexual abuse each year. Due to the sheer lack of resources, law enforcement is unable to follow up on the majority of leads they have.The PROTECT Our Children Act will:
Authorize over $320 million over the next five years in desperately needed funding for law enforcement to investigate child exploitation.
Mandate that child rescue be a top priority for law enforcement receiving federal funding.
Allocate funds for high-tech computer software that can track down Internet predators. Act Now!Your U.S. senators will be voting on the bill soon, so it is crucial you contact them immediately.
Go to www.senate.gov to find contact information for the senators in your state. Search for your senator by name or state by clicking on the arrow from either dropdown menu. Contact information is provided here.
To send an e-mail, click on "Web Form" below his or her name, and e-mail your letter to make a difference!
Call Your Senators! If you choose to contact your senators by phone, be sure to tell them, "Vote yes on Senate Bill 1738—The PROTECT Our Children Act."
Write to Your Senators! If you choose to write a letter, fax, telegram or e-mail, you may use the following sample letter—and modify it how you see fit.

Dear Senator:
I know that you believe, like I do, that we must do everything possible to protect children from sexual predators. That is why I am asking for your help.Last year alone, U.S. law enforcement identified over 300,000 criminals who were trafficking in movies and pictures of young children being raped and tortured. Experts say that one in every three of these criminals has local child victims. Child pornography trafficking over the Internet has given us a trail of evidence that leads straight to their doorsteps, but the vast majority of these children will never be rescued because investigators are overwhelmed, outnumbered and underfunded.As your constituent, I urge you to do everything in your power to pass the PROTECT Our Children Act (S. 1738, Biden-Hatch). This bipartisan legislation passed the House 415-2, but it is now the victim of petty partisan politics.Now that we know where these children are and how to protect them, there is no excuse for the Senate to fail to take action this session.
(Your name here)

Falling Leaves

Already? I keep forgetting that we are entering into September and the air has already shifted, the days are getting cooler and you can feel the crisp in the morning air. I love fall, but I'm really not ready for it - we didn't have very many hot sultry days here in Iowa this summer and when we do, I long for fall, but it has been a rather pleasant summer.
With fall comes classes and I started my new semester, which I'm having a terrible time trying to keep up with the house, kids, and reading assignments between the two classes, but I keep telling myself...one year...one year.
My mom also had her sleep apnea surgery 11 days ago, it hasn't been a pleasant recovery. Three days after her first surgery, she ended up going to the ER via ambulance because she coughed and ended up bleeding from the site in her mouth, lost a liter of blood, she ended up staying two days and then this past Wednesday before she finished her dialysis treatment, the same thing happened, thankfully she was already at the hospital. They put her under this time and said they fixed whatever was happening and she stayed till Friday, she seems better, but not herself. She had to have a blood transfusion before she left this time around and I don't know how much more she can endure while trying to maintain good spirits. Thank goodness for my kids as she does light up when she sees them and they can always get a smile or a laugh out of her, which reminds me that I have to get my little man singing "3 Little Birds" by Bob Marley...he starts off by saying...doe doe about a sa, eberythik gonna be alright...woke up tis morning....there was three wittle birdies at my door...it is the cutest, funniest thing in the world. I love it!
Anyway, I hope things turn around for my mom - I told her she needs to get well, so we can take the kids to an apple orchard.

"Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn." ~Elizabeth Lawrence

Happy Anniversary

Hubby and I will be celebrating our sixth wedding anniversary this Saturday. I totally can't believe it has been six years and yet there are moments when I find myself smiling just by thinking of him. We've had some crazy times, but what couple doesn't. I really can't imagine my life without him. It is absolutely wonderful to know I have found someone who knows me so well. Someone who wipes my tears, tickles me endlessly, and still calls me sexy.

I remember the first moment I saw him at my friend's birthday party and I immediately thought "I'm going to marry him," I had no idea why I thought that, but I knew it and I later told my mom that night that I had met my future husband. And so went six months and I didn't see him again, until he ran into my friend and gave his number to her to give to me. She had to convince me as to why I should call him because I didn't think I could, but she did and we talked, we talked for three hours about everything and anything and we ended the call with a time and date for our first date. One of my friends told me to stay away from him (P-aren't you glad I didn't listen), she said he is a bad boy and he will break your heart. And I did think about cancelling the whole thing, I had been through enough and really didn't want to get involved only to get hurt, so I debated, but my heart told me no - I knew he was the one.

I remember the morning I woke up on our wedding day thinking is this really going to happen to which lead me into a panic attack and then I left for the whole makeup/hair stuff and came back to my parent's house and sitting on the table was a vase of 32 red roses and 1 white rose perfectly in the center - on the card it said, "a red rose for each month we have spent together and a white for the lifetime we'll spend together." I melted and couldn't wait to see you and when I turned the corner coming into the balacony, I immediately locked eyes with you and knew you would make my life better and because of you, I now know what love really is.

Happy Anniversary my love, my constant, my sometimes you make me so frustrated, my kindred spirit - I thank you for the six wonderful, crazy years and our children - you've made my dreams come true.

And really who would have thought that this one girl, born in New Zealand and this one boy, born in Iowa would cross paths, but I suppose no explanation is needed because only we know!

I love you, babe, your are everything, p.s.

"All of us are born with the need to share our lives with someone. The fullfillment of this need can be the cause of constant concern and occasional pain. For it can't be fullfilled by one person reaching, but only when two are willing to meet halfway." - Javan

So the testing begins....

My sister and I have both been doing some initial testing to see if we are potential kidney donors for my mom. For those who know me, know the story and for those who don't...the short story is my mom is in need of a kidney transplant.
Now, she has had two (one was immediate rejection and she never left the hospital and the second was from her sister). The second transplant lasted about six years and she began dialysis again in late 2006, she initially refused dialysis as she wasn't sure she wanted to go back to that lifestyle, but thankfully she accepted and has been doing great since (at least no hospital admissions). So, I started looking into kidney donation and was sent a packet of information, in the meantime, I find out my sister is doing the same. So we went to a couple of tests together and this phase is just the initial phase, seeing if we can even be a potential donor. My hubby was unsure, he didn't like the idea of me having to have surgery, but he wants my mom to be healthy.
Anyway, yesterday I got a call from transplant services and they informed me that while both my sister and I are good candidates, they are choosing my sister to go through the second round of testing. They felt since me having two small children that it would be just be additional stress of having to come to several appointments and then having to arrange childcare for six weeks would be challenging.
When she told me this, it was bittersweet - part of me wanted to help my mom in this way and the other part of me was a bit relieved as I was worrying about my kids, but it was something I really wanted to do.
So, my sister will begin the second round of testing and only when that is done will we know if there will be another transplant on the horizon. My mom at this moment, doesn't want it - she wants to wait...for what...only she knows. I only told her that she has to be prepared for it physically and mentally and that in the end the decision is hers alone.
I will support my sister in whatever capacity I can while she continues on with the testing - Good Luck Sis!

“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” - William Allen White

Slowly, but surely

Our basement clean up is done, the drywall has been hung, carpet laid, and now we are just doing the minor finishes. The vanity cabinet to the bathroom has to be installed and and the plumbing reconnected, but we are almost done. It has taken a little over a month to clean-up after the sewage backup and we are still waiting to hear from the City's insurance company as to whether or not they are going to compensate us for what our insurance didn't cover.
There is no doubt that there is and has been a problem with the sewers in this town as one city employee already told hubby there was, so we will see if they step up and remedy the situation.

It has been a stressful mess, but I'm glad to see we are almost done and that we can get our lives somewhat back to normal. I know that we are lucky as it could have been worse.

When Do You Call It Quits.....

Lately, I've been doing some thinking as to what is the breaking point in a marriage? When do you stay and when do you say, I tried, but enough.
A friend finds out that his spouse is having an affair with her best friend and then finds out she is also sleeping with her best friend's spouse, so she leaves him because she is discovering herself. So he watches the kids so she can discover herself and even though he is hurt, would take her back, if she came. And although the situation is different, in the last few months that I have heard of couples splitting, I find it heartbreaking.

I hate hearing that someone I know is going through difficult times. I also know that marriage takes work, a lot of work and in fact the last few weeks have been extremely stressful for hubby and I that we started arguing more often than usual. Trying to clean up our basement while maintaing everything else that is on our plate has played its toll and began to wear on us both emotionally and physically. And as I was confiding my woes to my endearing friend at dinner, she asked if I could imagine my life without him, to which I replied, absolutely NO, but I thought for a moment about what life would be like if one day it got to that point where a person decides that enough is enough and I decided I was tired of being a wife and left, would my hubby be better off, would my children, would I? And afterwards, I realized no - I want to grow old with my hubby, I want to be his ever after.
I also realize that our issues do not compare to my friends, I know there are underlying issues going on that can only be addressed by a professional, I just find it sad that he is hurting and that his two little boys are hurting as well.
My friend told me that hubby and I need more couple time together, we never make time for the two of us and I know she is right, but I love spending time with my kiddies and my hubby together, yet I also realize that if we don't make couple time that one day one of us may wake up and not realize who the other person is and that scares me.
And as my friend dropped me off, she said, "go get your man and give him long kiss." I told her I couldn't, we had been fighting for the last few days, hadn't kissed in a week, and I just couldn't take the rejection...she looked at me and repeated, "go get your man."

So I did....

Welcome to the World...

Brayden made his debut this morning, congrats to Jenny and Brandon!
I know he will fill your life with joy and the occassional mess, but it is entirely worth it!
I look forward to taking on the role of "Aunty" and promise to do my best at such role.

We went up to see the new family and I forgot at how small the new babies are, he was all bundled up and just as precious as could be - when I held him, he opened up an eye and you could see his mop of dark hair poking out of his little hat. They change so quickly, especially those first few weeks. And of course, it brings back memories of my own little ones, which seems like yesterday, but also so long ago.

So I'm going to take a moment to list some advice (at least what I think)

• Take the help you are offered - those first few weeks are going to be a struggle as you adjust, so if someone offers to bring dinner or clean your house - take it...it doesn't matter if they clean like you - it takes one thing off of your mind. (this was one I struggled with and in the end, you'll be glad you did)
• Sleep when baby sleeps - again you'll want to do all the stuff that you can't do when the baby is awake, but as a new mommy, you need rest
• Baby Blues are normal - sometime during those first few weeks, you may have some episodes of crying for no reason or anixety, if it continues for a couple months then you may want to talk to someone
• One day you will forget what life was like prior - I don't know what it is, but one day you will realize that you just couldn't imagine life any differently
• If in doubt, ask - I don't know how many times I called the peditricians office to ask "is this normal" There were plenty of times I felt silly asking, but I felt a ton better afterwards.
• Relax and enjoy the moment - they are not babies forever and someday they won't want you to hold them, so cuddle, hold, and simply enjoy the fact that you are holding a miracle.

Okay, so now here are reasons why it's great to be a parent (again only what I think)

• Feeling a tiny fist wrap around your finger
• Gazing into your child's eye and knowing they completely and utterly trust you
• The smell of a new baby - nothing greater
• The first time you pick up your crying baby and they instantly stop because they know it's you
• Seeing new qualities in your partner that you never saw before
• Watching your child sleep
• The first smile that your baby makes
• The first giggle you hear and how contagious it is
• Seeing yourself in your child
• Discovering the child in yourself
• Discovering a forgotten favorite child's book or toy
• watching your baby's expression when you enter a room
• The first time you hold your child's hand when you cross the street
• The first time you hear you baby say Mommy or Daddy and "I Love You"
• Enjoying the chance at being silly again
• bubbles
• Re-discovering the world again through your child's eye
• Lots of hugs and kisses

Alright, so that is all I could think of for now, but there are no words to say how life changing having children was for me and I hope you find it as wonderful and beautiful as I have. And don't get me wrong, there are going to be sleepless nights, crying, fussing, but know that this will pass and it is all part of the watching this little tiny being blossom into greatness.

"A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."-- Eda J. Le Shan