My sweet pea was singing lyrics from "All you need is love" and so we ended up taking out the IPOD and playing some music, which whenever we break out music tends to break out the dancing.
And the kids don't have to ask me twice to dance with them, so we spun, we twirled, and we laughed. I'm sure the hubs thinks I'm absolutely crazy when we do this, but I love music and music that makes you dance...what more could you ask for. So we had quite the fun listening and dancing. In fact, my little girl has this one move that reminds me of Elaine from Senfield, the episode when she dances...it makes me laugh everytime she pulls it out. It is like a combination of Irish Step and her own touch....I absolutely love it. I took a clip of her and we were watching it together, to which she put her hands on her face and said, "that is so freaking embarassing." I told her that I loved it and I loved her dance moves.
Anyway, the hubs and sweet pea had to leave for recital practice and it was just me and the little man. He wanted to listen to "Three Little Birds," which he calls "doe, doe" and one of my favorite songs came on. It is by The Pogues and is called "Love you 'till the end" and he didn't want to listen to it at all, but finally agreed and then he said, can we dance to it? So, he stepped on my toes and we danced around the room and I thought if I could choose one moment for him to hold on to, I would hope it would be that moment. And at the end of the song, I said, "thank you my little man for the dance, it was lovely" and he said, "actually...it was lovely, thanks mama."
And just as a side note, I was looking at old posts and it has been two years today that I started my blog (WOW)...it really doesn't seem like I've kept this blog that long...so if you happen to read my blog, THANKS! I really write this for myself as a way to just express my thoughts and my rants, so the fact that people read it, makes me smile...thanks again!
"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life" - Berthold Auerbach
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
What good shall I do this day?
I came across Benjamin Franklin's daily schedule from another website regarding 25 Amazing websites for inspiration and positivity (http://gimundo.com/news/article/25-amazing-websites-and-online-resources-for-inspiration-positivity-and-mor/) and I thought that should be a question we ask ourselves everyday.And today, I awoke a little grouchy...it was another day with "icky" feelings, but I tried to make the most of it because I had an interview today, so I didn't want any negative thoughts to make my day worse and then those come across in my interview.
My mom and I were talking about my stomach issues and she thinks it is my nerves and my pent up feelings creating all this tension in my tummy, I told her I didn't feel "stressed" out, but I could see that it is possible, but I've been trying to remain positive and as I think of it, yeah stress could be the cause of all my tummy troubles.
Stress 1.the bankruptcy, which I posted about earlier, but took down because I got some slack for blogging about it, even though it was published in the paper the following week (and yes people do read that section). 2. The hubs and I had the blow out with his sister, which I did call her and apologize for my actions, but I'm still upset about it and things that happened afterwards because regardless of what you do or say, it is all about perspective. 3. Our will 4. Job hunting and realizing that filing bankruptcy may hurt some potential leads 5. Interview jitters
So yes, I can see that keeping all this tucked inside could cause some stress and I was depressed a few months ago, but I pulled out of it and I have started feeling better, but apparently my body is slow in catching up.
So, after I got home from my interview this evening, I checked out the above website and saw the Franklin schedule and I tried to think of what good I've done today, but besides playing mommy I couldn't think of anything out of the ordinary. I did have a really great conversation with my little brother, which we haven't talked like we did in a very long time...so maybe that was it, but who knows.
Tomorrow is a new day and I will start my day with that question "What good shall I do this day?" And we shall see what happens....till then...Blessed Be!!!
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes." - Charles Swindoll
Thursday, January 14, 2010
No Privacy Here.....
So is your privacy automatically taken away when you have children? Or is it a slow removal process, a little here, some there?
And the more I think about it, really why does one have children? I mean, they are expensive, dirty, sometimes mouthy, demanding, your life is no longer yours, and did I mention how expensive it is?
We were getting ready to read books in my bed when I see one of my kids magnets on our wall hanging and I look at them and say, "Where did that come from?" My sweet pea, laughs and says, "Oh we were playing treasure hunt and I stuck it there, it's no big deal."
And as puzzled as I am about it, I laughed simply because the more I thought about it, there is not one room in our house that is kid-free. You'll find books in our bedroom, toys in the bathroom and not to mention that I can't even go to the bathroom without hearing, "Mom, Mommy, Momma...are you in there, let me in, what are you doing, can I see, why is it locked." The books, sock, or shoe in the living room, etc...etc.... They crawl over me at night so they can squeeze in between the hubs and I...I'm then kneed, jabbed, and sometimes punched throughout the night..last night I slept in my son's room, only because I've been feeling quite sick lately and I need some sleep.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, in fact, I think it is quite funny. I'm just trying to figure out when I handed the keys to my privacy over to my little ones because if I knew then I could have put some limitations on it.
So back to the magnet, I could have taken it down, but it is still there and after we read and we turned off the lights, I whispered to my kiddies, I love you and I'm the luckiest mommy in the world. They replied, no...your not lucky, you're the best!
And there it is...that is why we have children, because there is no other love quite like the love from your child - it's pure, it's unwavering, and I never knew I was capable of loving anyone as much as I do for my babies. And not to mention my life is never, ever boring!
So yes, I've traded in my privacy, handed over my life, yet somehow I'm completely filled!
"Children make you want to start life over." ~Muhammad Ali
And the more I think about it, really why does one have children? I mean, they are expensive, dirty, sometimes mouthy, demanding, your life is no longer yours, and did I mention how expensive it is?
We were getting ready to read books in my bed when I see one of my kids magnets on our wall hanging and I look at them and say, "Where did that come from?" My sweet pea, laughs and says, "Oh we were playing treasure hunt and I stuck it there, it's no big deal."
And as puzzled as I am about it, I laughed simply because the more I thought about it, there is not one room in our house that is kid-free. You'll find books in our bedroom, toys in the bathroom and not to mention that I can't even go to the bathroom without hearing, "Mom, Mommy, Momma...are you in there, let me in, what are you doing, can I see, why is it locked." The books, sock, or shoe in the living room, etc...etc.... They crawl over me at night so they can squeeze in between the hubs and I...I'm then kneed, jabbed, and sometimes punched throughout the night..last night I slept in my son's room, only because I've been feeling quite sick lately and I need some sleep.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, in fact, I think it is quite funny. I'm just trying to figure out when I handed the keys to my privacy over to my little ones because if I knew then I could have put some limitations on it.
So back to the magnet, I could have taken it down, but it is still there and after we read and we turned off the lights, I whispered to my kiddies, I love you and I'm the luckiest mommy in the world. They replied, no...your not lucky, you're the best!
And there it is...that is why we have children, because there is no other love quite like the love from your child - it's pure, it's unwavering, and I never knew I was capable of loving anyone as much as I do for my babies. And not to mention my life is never, ever boring!
So yes, I've traded in my privacy, handed over my life, yet somehow I'm completely filled!
"Children make you want to start life over." ~Muhammad Ali
Friday, January 8, 2010
It's gonna be another day inside
Well another day that school has been cancelled and we'll be inside. The temperatures are blistering cold and we received more snow yesterday, it's Iowa and this is winter, but it has been an extremely snowy start and chilly too. I'm not sure how much more the kids can take being trapped inside or for that matter myself.
We've done projects, played dress up, painted, watched movies, sword fights, Nerf fights, and there are only so many times you can do these over and over. Today we are going to watch old baby videos of the kiddies (it was their choice) and then we will probably make a craft (we have a few January birthdays). I know they are getting anxious, yesterday, my Sweet Pea asked if we can go to the Spanish restaurant for their yummy Spanish rice...I told her that the roads were pretty bad and daddy is sick, so we would be staying in. To which she huffed and said I'm suffocating Mommy...sometimes I really don't know where she comes up with this stuff.
So, I'm struggling to keep them entertained and healthy since the hubs has been sick - I'm trying hard to keep the germs at bay as I dream of warmer weather, my bare feet in the grass, the warm touch of the sun on your face. Oh I could go on, but it will only make me depressed since Winter has just started...YIKES!!! It is going to be one long Winter, but hopefully it will warm up enough so we can get some outdoor time.
On another note, my last entry was focused on trying to be myself (all the time) and somewhat breaking out of the mold that I've created for myself, so in the paper I saw that there was a play that is coming to Des Moines "Expressing Motherhood" and they are looking for moms to submit their feelings, story, etc...it is something similar to the Vagina Monologues, so I submitted an entry. So, if you are in the Des Moines area or Boston area, they are taking submissions...here is the link http://www.expressingmotherhood.com/Submissions.php
I figure it is a long shot, but it is something I would have wanted to do in the past, but wouldn't enter anything, so I figured this was my first challenge. It doesn't even matter if they don't choose my story, I submitted something and for that alone, I'm proud of myself....would I like to stand up in front of people and perform? Not sure, I've read my poems in front of groups before, but never anything like this, so I suppose I won't worry about it until the time comes, if it does. I think it would be great fun and empowering.
I also got an email from one of the companies I applied for, they want to set up a phone interview sometime towards the end of January, the job would be in the Southwest, but I'm quite excited.
I think 2010 is going to be full of changes for me....only time will tell! Blessed Be
"Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it." ~Buddha
We've done projects, played dress up, painted, watched movies, sword fights, Nerf fights, and there are only so many times you can do these over and over. Today we are going to watch old baby videos of the kiddies (it was their choice) and then we will probably make a craft (we have a few January birthdays). I know they are getting anxious, yesterday, my Sweet Pea asked if we can go to the Spanish restaurant for their yummy Spanish rice...I told her that the roads were pretty bad and daddy is sick, so we would be staying in. To which she huffed and said I'm suffocating Mommy...sometimes I really don't know where she comes up with this stuff.
So, I'm struggling to keep them entertained and healthy since the hubs has been sick - I'm trying hard to keep the germs at bay as I dream of warmer weather, my bare feet in the grass, the warm touch of the sun on your face. Oh I could go on, but it will only make me depressed since Winter has just started...YIKES!!! It is going to be one long Winter, but hopefully it will warm up enough so we can get some outdoor time.
On another note, my last entry was focused on trying to be myself (all the time) and somewhat breaking out of the mold that I've created for myself, so in the paper I saw that there was a play that is coming to Des Moines "Expressing Motherhood" and they are looking for moms to submit their feelings, story, etc...it is something similar to the Vagina Monologues, so I submitted an entry. So, if you are in the Des Moines area or Boston area, they are taking submissions...here is the link http://www.expressingmotherhood.com/Submissions.php
I figure it is a long shot, but it is something I would have wanted to do in the past, but wouldn't enter anything, so I figured this was my first challenge. It doesn't even matter if they don't choose my story, I submitted something and for that alone, I'm proud of myself....would I like to stand up in front of people and perform? Not sure, I've read my poems in front of groups before, but never anything like this, so I suppose I won't worry about it until the time comes, if it does. I think it would be great fun and empowering.
I also got an email from one of the companies I applied for, they want to set up a phone interview sometime towards the end of January, the job would be in the Southwest, but I'm quite excited.
I think 2010 is going to be full of changes for me....only time will tell! Blessed Be
"Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it." ~Buddha
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Day 365....tomorrow Day 1
I'm not sure how many people actually set New Year resolutions or for that matter follow through with them, but I decided a few years back that we would set goals for the year...right them down and visualize those things happening and see what transpires.
I wouldn't say 2009 was a great year, but I also wouldn't say it was horrible either - I met a few of the goals I set which were
I wouldn't say 2009 was a great year, but I also wouldn't say it was horrible either - I met a few of the goals I set which were
- finish my MA degree with a GPA of 3.0 or higher(I finished with a GPA of 3.9)
- donate my kidney to my mom (we did that in August)
- get a job after school finishes (still working on that one)
I did lose sight of a few and sometimes I think towards the end of the year, I started to let negative thoughts and energy consume me, which pulled me down and I do believe the energy you put out is reflected back, so I'm letting go of all this negative energy because it will be a new morning, a new day, a new year's worth of journeys that need to be accomplished and explored. So I'm setting new and bigger goals for 2010....
- finish writing one of the books that I have started
- get back into the workforce with a new job, maybe one that will entail a move
- take steps that get us closer to our dream (moving to New Zealand)
- continue to be a good wife and mother
- be me (I had to chuckle when I wrote this down because I had a reading done a couple years ago and the lady said that one of these days, I will be breaking out of my shell and people will be quite surprised) and it's not like I am a different person, it is just I don't allow a lot of people into my world, so to speak - in most public settings I am quite, reserved and give people what they expect...I tend to mind my manners whereas my sister is the free spirit and I'm going to start letting go of my reservations and just be me)
2010 will be a year of renewals, continuations, and new adventures with the births of several babies...Melinda and Andrew, Suthanya and Kim, Deanna and Eric, and Deanna and Sean - I look forward to hearing all about the births of your little ones! May the rest of your pregnancies be easy and smooth.
Happy New Year all may it be filled with joy and laughter!
I just wanted to say Day 365 from the book 365 Tao Daily Meditations by Deng Ming-Dao
"Always finish what you start. That alone is discipline and wisdom enough If you can follow that rule, you will be superior to most people. When you come to the end of a cycle, a new one will begin. You might say that completion actually begins somewhere in the middle of a cycle and that new beginnings are engendered out of previous actions.
Completing a cycle means fulfillment. It means that you have achieved self-knowledge, discipline and a new way of understanding yourself and the world around you. New horizons are always there. But you can reach out for those new vistas with fresh assurance and wisdom. With each turn of the wheel you go further. With each turn of the wheel you free yourself from the mire of ignorance. With each turn of the wheel comes continuation.
Turn the wheel of your life. Make complete revolutions. Celebrate every turning. And persevere with joy."
Friday, December 25, 2009
What a Wonderful Christmas
Can you believe that it is already over...we had a wonderful Christmas Eve, which ran into the morning and overfilled into the day.
The dishes are soaking, the table has been cleared, toys have been put away well at least in their rooms. My belly is full and my spirit is filled.
It really was a wonderful christmas! Thanks to all who made it so special, I hope yours was as great as mine.
"Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time." ~Laura Ingalls Wilder
The dishes are soaking, the table has been cleared, toys have been put away well at least in their rooms. My belly is full and my spirit is filled.
It really was a wonderful christmas! Thanks to all who made it so special, I hope yours was as great as mine.
"Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time." ~Laura Ingalls Wilder
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Letting Go
Marilyn Monroe said it best...."I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
Things definitely went wrong yesterday with various people. Granted there are underlying issues and the hubs has been biting his tongue for a long time, but we try to let it go, but it reached a point where we didn't. Things were said on both ends that were inappropriate and hurtful. Sometimes the truth hurts and we don't want to recognize that there are issues, so in that respect I think after time, we will all come out better people, because feelings have been expressed that otherwise would continue to be bottled up.
I don't like conflict and it bothers me that I was sucked into this mess, it bothers me that I allowed myself to react the way I did, I hate it. And then this morning I was reading one of the blogs I follow and there starring at me was that quote above from Marilyn Monroe....I do believe that everything happens for a reason and when I read it, I sense of ease came over me. I can and will apologize for the way I reacted, but I can't take away the hurt that she inflicted or the hurt that I may have inflicted on her. I can only be remorseful, apologize for my part, and let go. Then after it has fallen apart only hope that better things will come together.
Things definitely went wrong yesterday with various people. Granted there are underlying issues and the hubs has been biting his tongue for a long time, but we try to let it go, but it reached a point where we didn't. Things were said on both ends that were inappropriate and hurtful. Sometimes the truth hurts and we don't want to recognize that there are issues, so in that respect I think after time, we will all come out better people, because feelings have been expressed that otherwise would continue to be bottled up.
I don't like conflict and it bothers me that I was sucked into this mess, it bothers me that I allowed myself to react the way I did, I hate it. And then this morning I was reading one of the blogs I follow and there starring at me was that quote above from Marilyn Monroe....I do believe that everything happens for a reason and when I read it, I sense of ease came over me. I can and will apologize for the way I reacted, but I can't take away the hurt that she inflicted or the hurt that I may have inflicted on her. I can only be remorseful, apologize for my part, and let go. Then after it has fallen apart only hope that better things will come together.
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