As I posted earlier, my great aunt passed away....she lived a full life and will be missed dearly. Her funeral was today and the service was nice, the priest kept calling her Mary, I couldn't tell if it was his accent in trying to pronounce Marilyn, but towards the end, it got better or I just heard it as it was...And as I imagine, the service was exactly how she would have liked it to be. The weather was perfect, the light from the sun cascaded on the multicolored window shooting specks of color in small areas of the church. As we gathered in the church, I would occasionally look around the room and realize that the death of one not only serves as a reminder of your own mortality, but also of those who are close to you.
I squeezed my little ones and the hugs you give are a little stronger and last a little longer. And your words are softer and kind. Life is unexpected and can't be predicted...and the moment you think you have it figured out, something happens.
Of course my children asked me questions, why did Aunt Marilyn die? Why were we at church? And why did they put her in the ground when heaven is in the stars?
And I answered as best as I could...family ties are strange in a way, our ancestors is what binds otherwise strangers together, it's the blood...the commonality of what runs through us.
And as I reflected on the dynamics of the family and how crazy all of us can be, it's a group of people I love and have wonderful memories.
Sitting in the back of my mind, is the little thought that things should be better than what has been going on....I have said that I can't force relationships and I want people in my life who want to be there - who shares the ups and the downs and the crazy inbetweens...that is what makes you stronger and binds you closer together. Granted some relationships can't be healed or fixed, but all I can do is put myself out there one final time....if it bites me in the butt well at least I did what I could and there is no shame in that.
"We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time." - Art Buchwald
"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Update: I did reach out and put myself out there, just saying that I think we should sit down and move past all the drama, how we were both guilty of acting in inappropriate ways, but at this point, not interested in discussing anything, moving past this yes. I can't force anything and I won't - I don't know how to move past anything if we don't discuss the issues we have, so if the time comes when and if she is ready to move forward and actually discuss things, I will be there.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Early Education forum
I received an email yesterday inviting me to attend an early education forum at the school...I think early education is important, so I went. The First Lady and Governor were there and it was the first of their "Milk Party" campaigns - it was not so much a forum, but a chance to tell us how grateful we should be for the current preschool grants and that if his opponent gets in office, the preschool grant will end.
Considering myself an independent and really not liking either of our candidates, I hate when politicians bash the other opponent, to me it comes off as tacky. I understand that the election is close, but seriously a forum to me is an exchange of ideas...he took questions/comments from two people in the room. It wasn't a forum and seriously if there weren't a campaign would he even be at the school?
The early education preschool grant for four year olds is a hot topic, some people feel tax money shouldn't be paying for preschool programs, but I think it boils down to how it is presented. First, it is referred to as the Universal Preschool Grant...well how does the state define "universal?" This can mean many things to different people and this is where the issues begin to rise...does universal mean free and available to all, does it mean affordable and available at reduced cost, or does it mean a subsidy or tax-break? And if tax money shouldn't be spend on preschool programs what about the tax dollars that is allocated for high school students to take college courses, you could make the same arguements.
We did get the preschool grant with both our kids, however, I knew nothing about the grant until the school informed us of it and all they said, was fill this form out - it is a first come, first serve basis and how it was explained to us was if your preschooler went 1/2 time then tuition was free, if your preschooler went all-day then you paid 1/2 of the tuition. So I am a supporter of this program, not because my children were able to partake, but because I believe that early education is important, it gives children a boost in their self-confidence, what they are learning, and so much more.
The montessori trainer gave the Governor a book on the Montessori philosophy and studies and mentioned that early education is not just in jeopardy, but that education as a whole and that montessori could answer and fix some of the issues, but no one listens....I hope he reads the book.
Studies show that a montessori education leads to children with better social and academic skills and children who come out of a montessori education are 96% more likely to graduate high school....the wait list at the school is two years. Doesn't that say something...that more and more parents want this type of learning for their children, but again the state isn't listening otherwise if they were, there would be more montessori schools.
My faith in the public school system has dwindled every year and why do I love the montessori philosophy? Because it focuses on the classical view of learning...that people learn from what they are doing...key word....doing.
The official theory of learning that most public education is built upon focuses on memorization, drills, exercises, tests and that you're not learning unless you can be seen working and not to mention that instead of our children learning they come home learning what they are NOT good at...it is a self-esteem breaker.
The montessori school provides opportunities to learn everything that is around the student, my sweet pea can tell you every part of the apple...not because the teacher read a book, but because every student took in an apple and everyday they did something different from washing, to peeling, to cutting, until the last day of the week when they made applesauce. My children love telling me what work they are doing, what they have learned and coming home to show me....that is learning and by starting at a young age it fosters that sense of empowerment and love for learning early on, which I think is important. Is montessori for everyone, probably not, but I think it would be a whole lot better if more schools began practicing under this philosophy.
Okay...off my soapbox for now.....
“Neither comprehension nor learning can take place in an atmosphere of anxiety." - Frank Smith
Considering myself an independent and really not liking either of our candidates, I hate when politicians bash the other opponent, to me it comes off as tacky. I understand that the election is close, but seriously a forum to me is an exchange of ideas...he took questions/comments from two people in the room. It wasn't a forum and seriously if there weren't a campaign would he even be at the school?
The early education preschool grant for four year olds is a hot topic, some people feel tax money shouldn't be paying for preschool programs, but I think it boils down to how it is presented. First, it is referred to as the Universal Preschool Grant...well how does the state define "universal?" This can mean many things to different people and this is where the issues begin to rise...does universal mean free and available to all, does it mean affordable and available at reduced cost, or does it mean a subsidy or tax-break? And if tax money shouldn't be spend on preschool programs what about the tax dollars that is allocated for high school students to take college courses, you could make the same arguements.
We did get the preschool grant with both our kids, however, I knew nothing about the grant until the school informed us of it and all they said, was fill this form out - it is a first come, first serve basis and how it was explained to us was if your preschooler went 1/2 time then tuition was free, if your preschooler went all-day then you paid 1/2 of the tuition. So I am a supporter of this program, not because my children were able to partake, but because I believe that early education is important, it gives children a boost in their self-confidence, what they are learning, and so much more.
The montessori trainer gave the Governor a book on the Montessori philosophy and studies and mentioned that early education is not just in jeopardy, but that education as a whole and that montessori could answer and fix some of the issues, but no one listens....I hope he reads the book.
Studies show that a montessori education leads to children with better social and academic skills and children who come out of a montessori education are 96% more likely to graduate high school....the wait list at the school is two years. Doesn't that say something...that more and more parents want this type of learning for their children, but again the state isn't listening otherwise if they were, there would be more montessori schools.
My faith in the public school system has dwindled every year and why do I love the montessori philosophy? Because it focuses on the classical view of learning...that people learn from what they are doing...key word....doing.
The official theory of learning that most public education is built upon focuses on memorization, drills, exercises, tests and that you're not learning unless you can be seen working and not to mention that instead of our children learning they come home learning what they are NOT good at...it is a self-esteem breaker.
The montessori school provides opportunities to learn everything that is around the student, my sweet pea can tell you every part of the apple...not because the teacher read a book, but because every student took in an apple and everyday they did something different from washing, to peeling, to cutting, until the last day of the week when they made applesauce. My children love telling me what work they are doing, what they have learned and coming home to show me....that is learning and by starting at a young age it fosters that sense of empowerment and love for learning early on, which I think is important. Is montessori for everyone, probably not, but I think it would be a whole lot better if more schools began practicing under this philosophy.
Okay...off my soapbox for now.....
“Neither comprehension nor learning can take place in an atmosphere of anxiety." - Frank Smith
Day 47 of Book Challenge
Update 10/18/10: Day 53 and we are now on 58 books....not much more to go!!!!
I thought I would update our book challenge....we haven't been good about keeping track on a board, but I have been keeping track myself.
We are on day 47 and we have read as of tonight 41 books....so we have 53 days left to read 59 books....I think we can do it especially if we read four books like we did tonight. My wee man checked out a book from the school library a book we really enjoyed, the message is great and I think I will put this on our wish list of books. The title is "Cat, you better come home" by Garrison Keillor, it was such a fun book and the illustrations are great....my favorite line from the book is "If other cats could only know to hang their hats on the status quo, and make the best of what they've got, And to be who you are and not what you're not." I think it's a subtle, but important message to children.
We also read "Colors, the rainbow of the natural world," "The Great Toy Escape" by Disney, and another recent favorite, "SkippyjonJones," by Judy Schachner. The kids really enjoy SkippyjonJones and it's such a fun book.
What are some of your favorite children's books?
"Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him." - Maya Angelou
I thought I would update our book challenge....we haven't been good about keeping track on a board, but I have been keeping track myself.
We are on day 47 and we have read as of tonight 41 books....so we have 53 days left to read 59 books....I think we can do it especially if we read four books like we did tonight. My wee man checked out a book from the school library a book we really enjoyed, the message is great and I think I will put this on our wish list of books. The title is "Cat, you better come home" by Garrison Keillor, it was such a fun book and the illustrations are great....my favorite line from the book is "If other cats could only know to hang their hats on the status quo, and make the best of what they've got, And to be who you are and not what you're not." I think it's a subtle, but important message to children.
We also read "Colors, the rainbow of the natural world," "The Great Toy Escape" by Disney, and another recent favorite, "SkippyjonJones," by Judy Schachner. The kids really enjoy SkippyjonJones and it's such a fun book.
What are some of your favorite children's books?
"Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him." - Maya Angelou
Friday, October 8, 2010
Sorrowful News....
Well we were spending the evening downtown at the World Food Festival with our friends and as we were leaving, I checked my voicemail only to hear some sorrowful news. My Great Aunt had passed away, she had been in the hospital and she had died when they were doing a stint.
She was a strong woman, one who wasn't afraid to voice her opinion, she told it like it was and that is what I liked most about her.
I'm thankful that her and her husband spent Christmas dinner with us. And I will cherish the many memories I have, I still have the book she had bought me when I was 15. We were on one of our summer visits here and I was talking about how much I love various authors and then the next day she brought over "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan. She said she had just read it and thought it was a good book, one I would enjoy and I did. I ended up becoming a fan of Amy Tan and read lots of her books since that time.
So thank you for all the great moments, you will be greatly missed!!!! Family gatherings will not be the same without your presence. Love you!
"You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."
- David Harkins
She was a strong woman, one who wasn't afraid to voice her opinion, she told it like it was and that is what I liked most about her.
I'm thankful that her and her husband spent Christmas dinner with us. And I will cherish the many memories I have, I still have the book she had bought me when I was 15. We were on one of our summer visits here and I was talking about how much I love various authors and then the next day she brought over "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan. She said she had just read it and thought it was a good book, one I would enjoy and I did. I ended up becoming a fan of Amy Tan and read lots of her books since that time.
So thank you for all the great moments, you will be greatly missed!!!! Family gatherings will not be the same without your presence. Love you!
"You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."
- David Harkins
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Missing the Roosters....
Well I had mentioned that we traded one rooster for a hen and then discovered that Shelle was a rooster, so we traded him for another hen (same place) and I must admit I'm missing the roosters.
I really didn't think there would be a big difference, but these hens are messy chicks and I went out the other day to clean up their coop and make sure there was plenty of food/water and the little buggers pecked at me.
Our roosters were so much more friendly and would come out when I would call out, but again we did raise them from chicks whereas these were not, but still, no need to peck at me. Hopefully these new chicks will get use to us and stop being meanies or else I'll be leaving everything up to the hubbers. No eggs yet....waiting patiently....
Anyway, here is a photo of the hens...the brown one is Sunburst or Rosie (whichever name comes to sweetpea first) and then the golden one is Shelle the II...my little man wanted to keep the name, so we did.
“The hens they all cackle, the roosters all beg, But I will not hatch, I will not hatch. For I hear all the talk of pollution and war As the people all shout and the airplane roar, So I'm staying in here where it's safe and it's warm, And I WILL NOT HATCH!" - S. Silverstein
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Fairies Welcome
and pixies too, but no mischief making! My sweetpea drew a picture of a fairy house and asked the hubs if he could built it. So, he found some extra wood from a previous project and we went to the Dollar Tree and made a nice little fairy house.I think the hubs and I had more fun then the kids did, but in total the project was about $4.00 - not bad for some cheap entertainment. The kids made a little table and put a bed in there as well and decorated the wall with stickers.
Since we will be going into Fall/Winter we will keep the house inside until Spring and we'll make a little fairy garden, so it will give us something to look forward to and we can collect various things for the fairy garden.
"Come cuddle close in daddy's coat. Beside the fire so bright, And hear about the fairy folk, That wander in the night." - Robert Bird
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The Pledge....
My little man came home from morning PreK and explained how this morning they didn't say the pledge of allegiance. I asked why and he said his teacher was out sick and the new teacher didn't know, but he went on to say that saying the pledge is his favorite part of the morning. And so I ask him...do you know the pledge?
And he places his hand over his heart and begins to say the pledge of allegiance....I was quite impressed he knew it all (perhaps I do have a little politician on my hands...he has all the presidents memorized, his favorite is Abe Lincoln, and now he tells me his favorite part of the day is reciting the pledge...hmmmm).
He makes my heart melt sometimes that little boy of mine...and today he was circling books that he wanted from the Scholastic book orders and as I was watching him, I thought where did the time go?
Again, it was a moment I wanted to pause, I just listened intently to him talk about how his classroom has this book, but we didn't and that it was a really great book that he wanted to add to our collection. Then he talked about the book he "checked out" from the library and I said we have this book and he said, "I know, I just like it that much."
And it's at those times when I realize that my life can be hectic, crazy, a raving madhouse at times, but in the end it means nothing because I have two of the best kids ever and one hell of a husband.
"love life, engage in it, give it all you've got. love it with a passion, because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it” - Maya Angelou
And he places his hand over his heart and begins to say the pledge of allegiance....I was quite impressed he knew it all (perhaps I do have a little politician on my hands...he has all the presidents memorized, his favorite is Abe Lincoln, and now he tells me his favorite part of the day is reciting the pledge...hmmmm).
He makes my heart melt sometimes that little boy of mine...and today he was circling books that he wanted from the Scholastic book orders and as I was watching him, I thought where did the time go?
Again, it was a moment I wanted to pause, I just listened intently to him talk about how his classroom has this book, but we didn't and that it was a really great book that he wanted to add to our collection. Then he talked about the book he "checked out" from the library and I said we have this book and he said, "I know, I just like it that much."
And it's at those times when I realize that my life can be hectic, crazy, a raving madhouse at times, but in the end it means nothing because I have two of the best kids ever and one hell of a husband.
"love life, engage in it, give it all you've got. love it with a passion, because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it” - Maya Angelou
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