Wild Things

I took the little ones to see Where the Wild Things Are today. I was pretty excited about the movie as it was one of my favorite childhood books, in fact it was the first book that I actually remember reading. I was at the library and my sister's friend was helping to teach me to read and it was the first one that I read...I loved the book and surprisingly it is one that I don't have in our collection, so it is on the christmas book list.
The movie was okay...I felt that the movie captured the characters, but to me it didn't capture the essence of the book. And maybe it's just that I don't remember the book that well, but I didn't remember it being sad and I felt like the movie was a bit sad. It was a good movie, but I think my expectations were pretty high and it wasn't what I expected. The little ones thought it was okay, but they asked to leave in the middle of it, we didn't.
I still think it is a great story about imagination and look forward to reading it with my little ones.

Be the Rainbow in Someone's Cloud

Tonight I went and saw Maya Angelou speak at Drake University, it was a full house and she was this tiny figure on a stage, but her words and voice echoed and struck me on many levels. I was moved and had to contain the tears that wanted to pour out as she spoke to the crowd.

Lately I have been struggling with some issues and have been asking the higher spirits for a guidance and direction, which indeed I received tonight. On Tuesday night I came to my blog to vent and complain about how horrible a day it was, but midway through I deleted what I wrote and decided I wasn't going to post it.

Instead I turned to one of my books that I keep by my bed, which was Letter to my Daughter by Maya Angelou and I thought it was appropriate since I knew I was going to see her. So I flipped through it and as I read, one of the passages spoke to me. The next day I decided to post it on my Facebook page, which was "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be the rainbow in someone's cloud." And tonight as soon as I heard her say those words, I knew I was meant to be there - my sweet pea had parent-teacher conferences tonight as well, but I decided to just let the hubs go so I could listen to Maya and I needed to hear her words, words that can heal a heart. She was inspiring and everything and more than I ever imagined and as I listened and just soaked in the moment I realized how hard I am on myself. I believe that when you pray for something, you are given the opportunity and this was my opportunity for what I was asking guidance on.

She spoke about timidity and how we need to be courageous, we need to be kind and to be the rainbow in someone's cloud. And I am guilty - I'm timid and I've always been that way, I say what is appropriate or what someone wants to hear and I stay within my comfort zone. I don't like to complain to anyone, but sometimes I do to those I really do trust and even then I still with hold. And for the most part when I'm down, it really does just take my kids and hubby to get me laughing and then I'm good.
Anyway, listening to her reminded me that I deserve to reach for my goals and dreams, I owe it to myself. Writing all of this is somewhat difficult for me as I feel like I'm exposing myself, for my children and family I will fight, but when it comes to myself I don't, but sometimes I think as a woman and mother we are all guilty of putting ourselves last. So, I'm going to start pushing myself out of the comfort zone and I'm going to be courageous and finish on those projects that I have half-started.
I love to write and I have some really great starts to books that I have started, but never finished and I'm going to finish them. I'm going to start on my children's book and if they one day get published - great, if one person reads it and can take something away from what I've written would be better and if it never happens at least I will have something for my children. A glimmer into their mother, perhaps they will learn something they didn't know, but I'm going to reach for my dreams and hope that I too can be the rainbow in someone's cloud - thank you Maya for being mine.

Reflection

Last weekend my hubby arranged a camping trip just for the two of us, it was a wonderful surprise especially since I didn't have to plan an ounce of it. He even got the kiddies arrangements taken care of, so even though I was hoping for rain I was grateful that he had gone to all the trouble. I was wishing for rain because I'm not a "camper," I enjoy the outdoors and love being surrounded by nature, but I definitely like the comfort's of home, especially at night. So I was a bit nervous about the whole thing and did I happen to mention that we would be canoeing to our spot (and if you don't know I don't care to much for water, but slowly I'm working on it) and we took our dogs.

Getting into the canoe, I already started to panic, but I had to remind myself that this was the river and it was pretty low and I had kayaked in the ocean, so I would be fine with my styling flashy (wink wink) life jacket in our little red canoe. We didn't go far and I probably could have gone further, but the hubs said he didn't want to push it, so we found a nice sandbar and made camp. We gathered firewood, set up the tent and I made the fire...indeed it was me...I started the fire with no matches. The hubs cooked an outstanding dinner, I was super impressed.

The silence was calming as was watching the birds, which we saw three golden eagles and several blue herons. The dogs were entertaining and at night the stars and moon where radiant with it's light reflecting in the river. Against all odds - I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I enjoyed just talking to my husband in that not "mom mentality" that sometimes I find myself trapped in - it was the BEST date night that I have had in a long time and I simply want to thank my hubby for it, especially considering the little ones got sick with the flu (no it is not the H1N1) and have been sick this whole week.

Thanks my love....I will warn him though that he better get me a nicer life jacket if we are going to do this more often, I don't think I could handle that ugly poor excuse of a floatation device next time.

"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the wind longs to play with your hair." - Kahlil Gibran

Recovery

It's been a long road for my mom - the kidney is working, but she is using a stint to help with the urine and she is back in the hospital. She was up all night vomiting and apparently she has an infection, most likely from the stint, but we don't know for sure.
I went up with the little ones after sweet pea's violin lesson and we had lunch with her and she said she just isn't sure if she can do it - all the medication is making her sick and shake. I know she is grateful the kidney is now finally working, but it shouldn't have happened this way and she knows that and I think that is what she struggles with. It's hard and I can't quite muster anything comforting to say, but be strong, it will pass and she will be fine. It angers me that she was put through all this unncessary mess. My recovery has been fine - my biggest mistake is trying to over do it, I was rearranging furniture the other day and hurt my incision - it's just that I forgot about it, so I was in pain for about two days after that, but I also am a bit sad in that this was not how it was suppose to happen, but I have to remain positive and grateful that the kidney is working.

"The appreciation of life does not require wealth or plenty. It requires only gratitude for the beauty of the world." - 365 Days of Tao

Homemade Laundry Powder

Well in order to save some money, I looked up recipes for DIY projects and came across homemade laundry detergent - liquid or powder. As I read through the ingredients and instructions I thought, "I could do this" and I did.

Here are the ingredients

Borox - 1/2 cup
Washing Soda - 1/2 cup

Shaved bar of soap - 1 bar (for soap you want to use something that is not heavily perfumed, such as Ivory or I used Fels Naptha which is a laundry soap).

You want to use a cheese grater for the soap and then you mix all the ingredients together and stir for about 5-6 minutes till you have an almost fine powder mixture.

Each batch makes roughly 16 ounces and I made a double batch, you use one Tablespoon per load and can use an addition one to two scoops for heavier soils.

I found all the ingredients at the local grocery store and I even washed a load last night and it seemed to work just fine. There are recipes out there for liquid detergent and dishwasher soap, which I may attempt next .

Here is a picture of the final mixture

I found a website that breaks it down to about $0.03/load when regular detergent can run about $0.24/load. I have to say that it was rather easy to make and only time will tell if it is worth it, but go ahead and give it a try.

Bells Toll

Silence
The bells are crying
across the land
land of the free
they toll
remembrance
of that Tuesday morning
forever etched
forever in our memory,
our world
We watched
witness to the tragedy
We cried
tears for the life lost
amongst the ruble
and we prayed
to never forget

By Dena Fife 2002

Deserving

For those that know me well, you know that I am not religious, but I am a very spiritual person and open to the wisdom of many religions. And with all that has transpired in the last few weeks, I am continually thankful for my blessings and I thank the higher spirit everyday.
I'm a big advocate for creative visualization and so when I want something, I visualize on it. When I pray, I don't ask for this or that - I clear my mind and simply state whatever it is that is troubling me and ask for guidance and strength. Yet everything that I have ever "prayed" or visualized has been answered and for that I am truly blessed and sometimes in the mess of life we forget to reflect on all that happens in one's life. There are indeed days when I feel life is not fair, but then I'm also quick to realize that I have today and in my life I am surrounded by wonderful people.
My dad shared with me that he has never prayed as hard as he has been the last few weeks and that things started to turn around for my mother when he started saying "Hail Mary's" and for those that may not know, my parent's house was once visited by many religious people because there was a sighting of the Virgin Mary in their home (several years prior to my parents owning it) and my mother would find various religious items buried in the yard, which she would leave. I never had an experience in the house, but my aunty did when she visited. So, I told him he shouldn't stop and that he should say them everyday. Yes, his prayers were answered, but that shouldn't stop him from continually doing it. And I guess I find that when people are in trouble, they often "pray," but are quick to slack off when things turn around, so I encourage my dad to continue his daily mantra of Hail Mary's.
I do believe in the power of prayer and I am thankful for all the people that prayed for my mother's recovery, it is a humbling but profound impact when people you barely know are cheering for you and I'm really thankful, so again thank you!
Anyway, the main reason for my posting today was merely to share something....I was reading my message of the day from my 365 TAO daily meditations, which is "Deserving" and I was struck by the message and wanted to share it. It goes as follows:
"It is not easy to worship. Simply going to a temple once a week to have a priest intercede on your behalf is not enough. True worship is a daily act of humbling yourself before your deity and offering a pure heart and holy words. It doesn't matter if we are "getting anything out of it." Whether there is a response is secondary. The mere act of devotion is its own reward. It brings transformation."
It struck me on many levels and I just found it to be true and beautiful, because for me it is the truth.