Kia Kaha

I think of this (kia kaha) when I think of my mom. Kia Kaha means be strong in Maori and I know my mom is strong, this is not her first experience with surgery let alone transplant surgery, but I can tell her spirit is being tested and I'm not sure how much emotional baggage she can carry. She is beginning to feel indifferent to the outcome of this mess. I told her she needed to fight and that the reason she is producing urine is a sign that the kidney is fighting too. I don't know how to help her.
When we talked on the phone tonight, we had a little cry - I told her I was sorry, I am sorry that I put her through this and that if I could go back in time and fix it I would. She feels the doctors are failing her and in quite honesty they have. They have apologized to her and it's frustrating for me and for her. Each morning and night I asked the higher spirits to pull her through this and for the kidney to work and if indeed things work and she walks out of the hospital with a functioning kidney it is because of a small miracle. There is damage to the kidney, but the worse part of it all is that it shouldn't have happened and if it does continue to work, has it shorten it's expectancy?
I'm angry, but I feel like I can't get angry because then I'm not focusing on the positive which is that the kidney is producing urine, the question is we don't know for how long. So I will continue to ask the higher spirits to get her through this and for her to be strong. I will for her.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." - Confucius